Extreme Force

If you have any doubt that absolutely any actor who wants to will one day direct a film, behold the directorial debut of Michel Qissi. Never heard of him? He was the bald archvillain Tiger Tong Po in the Jean-Claude Van Damme "classic" Kickboxer, and was even billed as "Tong Po" in subsequent films. In Extreme Force (hard to believe the title wasn't already taken, but the IMDB lists this as the only one), he even costars, billed as "Kong Li," and actually turns in the best performance in the film as a bald kickboxing lummox from Mongolia, with a face made up of scar tissue and the character name...Kong Li. The second-best performance in the film comes from his brother Youssef Qissi, as -- you probably guessed it -- a bald Belgian kickboxer. The ostensible star of the film is Argentinean martial arts master Hector Echevarria, who has undeniable charisma and fighting skills but no discernible acting talent whatsoever. Not that it matters too much; he's having such obvious fun doing the fight scenes (as evidenced by a gaping goofball grin following each kick) that it's hard to begrudge him. The plot, of course, is exactly what you'd expect: A thief (Echevarria) wants to go legit, is persuaded to do one last job, gets betrayed, but of course comes back to seek revenge and fake blood. And lest we forget, the fate of U.S.-Mongolia relations hangs in the balance. Whatever. Despite some amusing moments (the barely-bilingual Echevarria making fun of the "Mongolian"-accented English of his foes, the wildly different takes on what exactly constitutes said accent anyway, and some buck-toothed rednecks billed as "Inbreds"), the film doesn't transcend the level of low-budget trash. The best thing about it is the Superman-style end credits, but by the time they appear one's patience has been taxed for far too long.