Gun Shy

I sense a great disturbance in the Force. How else to explain Jedi master Liam Neeson's involvement in this incoherent mess so soon after apprentice Obi-Ewan's involvement in the similarly deranged Eye of the Beholder? Anyway, for those who've been dying to see a film all about Neeson's bowels, this is the one. An undercover DEA agent who's been traumatized by an incident that involved being stripped half-naked and tied to a plate of sliced watermelon as naked women painted like statues looked on, Neeson's character is asked to pull one last job and immediately goes into therapy. His neuroses manifest themselves in the form of weird stomach noises, flatulence, and exiting almost every scene by sprinting to the commode -- a running gag that even Trey Parker and Matt Stone probably wouldn't find amusing. The plot takes a twist when Neeson goes to have an enema and promptly falls for "Enema Queen" Sandra Bullock, playing yet another sexy new-age flake (see Forces of Nature). Since Bullock has sole producer credit on this turkey, one can only deduce that she wanted to play a scene in which she shoves a large tube up Neeson's rear end while hitting on him, and follow that up by making out with him in a pile of manure. It's not all bathroom humor, though; there are plenty of unfunny jokes about Italians, gays, and (just to be fair) dumb corporate white guys. The best one can say about this film is that it's not entirely unwatchable -- Bullock, Neeson, and Oliver Platt, as a Mafia hit man who looks like an evil sideshow hypnotist, would have to actively work hard at being repellent for that to be the case -- but you still have to wonder exactly what these talented actors were thinking. Written and directed by Eric Blakeney.