Leapin' Lizards!
The
dinosaurs are jumping, but the story isn't, in Jurassic Park III
A
third Jurassic Park movie was, of course, inevitable,
given that the second shattered box office records (it also shattered the
conventional notion that any movie starring Jeff Goldblum,
Julianne Moore and a bunch of dinosaurs had to be at least somewhat
interesting). But when you have one of the hottest box office properties of all
time, isn't it worth taking a little time to craft it? Just because you know it
can only be better than The Lost World, do you have to rush it through
production, start shooting without a script, cut corners on the visuals and
then not even bother to promote it until about a month before it's released?
The first Jurassic Park was an event that even folks who normally stay
clear of movie theaters knew about; ask the average man on the street, and
chances are he may not know there's a sequel out in theaters as we speak.
But just because Jurassic
Park III has several obvious flaws, that doesn't mean it's a complete
waste. For one thing, director Joe Johnston, who previously made even the most
benign animals seems frightening in the kids' horror flick Jumanji,
has loaded the film with some truly malevolent beasties. While The Lost
World one-upped the T. rex simply by introducing more T. rexes,
Johnston digs up the spinosaurus, the largest
carnivorous dinosaur known to exist and bona fide king of the jungle badasses, as proven early on by the fact that it snaps a T.
rex's neck. Although you'd suspect that such a creature must have been invented
for the movie, it is based on real fossils, but since no complete spinosaurus has ever been found, there's room for creative
license. It's unfortunate that the TV spots have repeatedly displayed the
creature's look; the film's slow revelation of it is very nicely done.
It's almost a shame that there
has to be a script at all, but once again the studio suits have decided that
there needs to be some kind of reason for people to get trapped on an
island full of dinosaurs yet again. As if anyone cares. At least scribes Peter Buchman, Alexander Payne and Jim Taylor have the decency to
treat this film like a real sequel, and pick up where the first film left off
(this is more of a proper sequel to Jurassic Park than The Lost World
ever was). Alan Grant (Sam Neill) has broken up with Ellie Sattler (Laura Dern) and is hard-pressed to get people interested in his
fossil research any more, since the existence of real live dinosaurs is more
fascinating (Jeff Goldblum's Ian Malcolm is glibly
written off with the remark, "Seems like the guy was kinda
high on himself"). So, not 10 minutes after he has uttered the phrase
"No force on earth or in heaven could get me on that island," he's
back on the island, hired by alleged entrepreneur Paul Kirby (William H. Macy)
and his ex-wife (Téa Leoni)
on the pretense of an adventure flight over the island. In fact, the Kirbys are looking to rescue their son Eric (Trevor
Morgan), who may have landed there following a parasailing mishap involving
some really fake bluescreen effects.
That's enough plot. The rest is
a series of set pieces, as Grant and the Kirbys (who
soon reconcile as a couple -- nothing like the threat of being torn apart by
lizards to rekindle the ol' marriage flame), along
with various other characters so disposable they might as well be wearing red Star
Trek uniforms, make their way to safety through dangerous terrain, stalked
by the spinosaurus, pteranodons
and, of course, those old favorites, the velociraptors.
While there are some nicely
humorous moments that are mostly unexpected (Grant has a dream in which a
dinosaur talks to him; Paul Kirby refers to the spinosaurus
as the "tricycloplotz"), the script
frequently shows its seams. The ending in particular is weak and abrupt,
involving a character suddenly knowing something that he explicitly did not
know before, apparently as a result of sheer dumb luck. At times it feels as
though the characters and the dinosaurs are actively trying to ignore the
script; when certain items are established for use later on, the payoff is so
ho-hum that one wonders why they bothered (the exception is a neat cell-phone
gag, which is on a par with the rearview mirror gag in the first film). Other
items appear to be being set up for later payoff , then completely ignored,
notably the secret origin of the spinosaurus, and a
big beaker of tyrannosaurus urine that serves no purpose beyond its being urine
and therefore inherently funny. And the raptors seem to be inserted just
because of some kind of contractual obligation; their menace swiftly wears thin
(or maybe it's because a 10-year-old girl kicked their butts with gymnastics
moves in the last film).
At its best, Jurassic Park
III is eerily similar to some of the more recent dinosaur-themed video
games on the market. Scenes set in an abandoned science facility could have
been taken straight out of Capcom's Dino Crisis.
And a sequence in which a character must jump across several stone pillars
protruding high up from the water and immersed in mist are a direct crib from
the N64 hit Turok. It should be noted that,
like those games, this film may not be suitable for very young viewers: One
scene in which a child is nearly pecked to death by baby pteranodons
is particularly likely to inspire nightmares.