Surviving Paradise

Recent Iranian films like Children of Heaven and The Color of Paradise have garnered such acclaim that when one hears that a new movie about Iranian children is coming out, one assumes that it's most likely going to be quite artful. Until the Iranian kids get lost in Los Angeles while their mother is kidnapped by suit-wearing guys with guns! Suffice to say that Tarantino-esque shenanigans and Iranian lost-innocence analogies don't mix, especially when the acting is flat all round. Characters literally stop in the middle of the action to deliver speeches about the diversity of Los Angeles and the freedom of America despite our often-corrupt government. Celebrated Iranian actress Shohreh Aghdashloo manages to mostly keep her dignity intact as the kidnapped mom, which is more than can be said for the Bruce Campbell, Elliott Gould, and Bobcat Goldthwait wanna-bes who play the dastardly men with guns. Save yourself some time: realize that L.A. is full of different cultures, including Iranians. Good. Now you don't need to see a poorly written film whose only purpose seems to be to hammer home that message repeatedly. For those who are slow on the uptake, first-time director Kamshad Kooshan even adds some gratuitous evil INS agents to the climax, bumbling Aryan fascists who threaten to deport anyone who isn't white. The desire to impart some knowledge about Iran's oft-misunderstood culture is an honorable one, but there have got to be better methods of communicating it than this.