Terror Firmer

If Bobcat Goldthwait's infamous Shakes the Clown was indeed, as it claimed, the Citizen Kane of alcoholic clown movies, then perhaps we can say of Troma's Terror Firmer that it's the Shakes the Clown of self-referential, vomit-soaked, disembowelment-fest movies about diarrhea-eating film crews stalked by a penis-severing transvestite serial killer. In other words, pure genius. Terror Firmer opens with a transvestite beating a guy to death with his own severed leg, then follows up with that same transvestite ripping a crying fetus from a pregnant woman's womb and playing tug-of-war with it. If you don't see any possibility for humor in such a scene, then it is strongly suggested that you run the other way very quickly. Troma founder Lloyd Kaufman directs and stars in this exceedingly loose adaptation of his autobiography, All I Need to Know about Filmmaking I Learned from the Toxic Avenger, as a blind director with a penchant for urinating on people. The plot is almost completely incoherent (and gloriously so!), but it involves Kaufman's character trying to make yet another Toxic Avenger sequel while being stalked by the aforementioned transvestite. In between scenes of naked fat guys, mucus-hawking, and puke-filled french kisses, there are actually some very funny and insightful digs at the media and Hollywood, particularly the use of pop songs on mainstream movie soundtracks. Perhaps most shocking of all, however, is that some of the acting is really quite good, notably from Will Keenan (Tromeo in Tromeo and Juliet) as a Steven Spielberg-loving sound man, and Alyce LaTourelle as his love interest. Factor in the usual Troma array of B-level "celebrity" cameos (from the Lunachicks, Motorhead's Lemmy, Ron Jeremy, Trey Parker, and Matt Stone), Troma's biggest budget ever ($400,000), and the funniest end credits since the original Airplane!, and the resultant chaos emerges as either a masterpiece or an abomination. Take your pick.