"Not so Shrektacular" on 05/19/2004

I just paid for my first movie since Montreal, and I don't feel like I got my money's worth. The way people have been talking, I thought SHREK 2 would be better than the original. It isn't even as good.

Granted, it's hard to come up with a brand new and appealing story featuring the same characters. But although Mike Myers and Cameron Diaz seem more relaxed and natural in their roles (Eddie Murphy doesn't; rather he comes off like he's trying to shout down everyone else at all times), the script seems forced.

For a more R-rated analogy -- SHREK 1 was KILL BILL VOL. 2, a pastiche of familiar references that nonetheless managed to spoof or subvert them while succeediung on its own terms. SHREK 2 is KILL BILL VOL. 1, an empty pastiche of references bereft of heart. To its credit, however, there are no Smash Mouth songs this time.

But there are songs that are mind-numbingly familiar and elbow-to-the-ribs obvious. When Shrek and Fiona enter her parents' realm of Far Far Away (a medieval style Beverly Hills/Hollywood hybrid, complete with Angelyne billboard joke that no-one outside of L.A. will get), "Funky Town" plays on the soundtrack. When one of the lead characters undergoes a magical transformation, a mediocre cover of David Bowie's "Changes" cranks up on cue. During the climactic crisis scene, one of the characters actually performs "I Need a Hero" (double penalty points since that song is rightfully "owned" by another movie, namely FOOTLOOSE). And if you thought "I'm a Believer" was a cheeseball song to use in part one, just wait until you hear...

"Living la Vida Loca"

I wish I were kidding. Recall that this song was lame and overplayed by the time it was performed live at George W. Bush's inauguration!

In the first Shrek, there were references aplenty, but usually with an added punch that didn't depend on wink-wink, nudge-nudge. For instance: In the amusement park, where Donkey activates a machine that launches into a frenzied musical number performed by wooden dools. It was obviously a riff on Disney's "It's a Small World" ride (for all we know, that'll probably get its own movie soon. It had better star lots of midgets), but the song was manic enough and witty enoguh that it could have stood alone as a gag without that knowledge.

Contrast that with Shrek 2's musical number featuring the Fairy Godmother (Jennifer Saunders), as she brings clothes and furniture to life in a spoof of Cinderella and Beauty and the Beast. Saunders sings so fast it's tough to make out whether the words are witty or not, and the talking furniture looks cool but isn't actually funny until the song ends, Fiona says she doesn't need all that stuff, and the tables and such slink away saying things like, "Fine, we know when we're not wanted" or words to that effect.

Shrek's main conceit was "What if all the fairy tale characters existed in one world, but behaved like real people?" Thus we got a gingerbread man tortured by milk, and Pinnocchio referred to as a possessed toy. Shrek 2's central conceit is "medieval Flintstones." You know, where the Flintstones would have a prehistoric Las Vegas and make it Rock Vegas, Shrek 2 has a Barney's of New York store called "Barney's of Old York." That kind of thing, over and over.

It is probably inherently tougher to make a movie about the challenges of the first year of marriage than it is about finding one's true love, but it can be done, even as a sequel -- see ROMANCING THE STONE and its successor THE JEWEL OF THE NILE. There's little done plot-wise here that wasn't already done better in MEET THE PARENTS -- the parents in this case being voiced by John Cleese and Julie Andrews, who theoretically should be funnier than Robert De Niro and whoever played his wife. Theoretically.

Rupert Everett's Prince Charming is a wasted opportunity as a villain, overshadowed at every turn by Saunders. John Lithgow's great Farquaad is sorely missed.

Antonio Banderas is the only thing that saves the movie in any way. Puss in Boots-as-Zorro is an inherently funny conceit, and Banderas wisely plays it completely deadpan, a welcome relief from Eddie Murphy's constant blathering. There's even a timely Garfield reference -- note that this puss looks far more convincing than that upcoming CG atrocity. (Viewers of THE MONSTER CLUB may find Puss in Boots particularly amusing, given that film's scene with a cat, scored to Mexican guitar.)

The first Shrek had super-detailed, hard-to-find tie-in action figures from McFarlane Toys. The sequel has mass-produced, bland-looking neon things packed with accessories that literally stink.

An apt analogy when it comes to comparing the films themselves.