THE MONSTER CLUB doesn’t officially get released until April 20, but you can win one now. (Note to D. Senior and B. Monteavaro — you guys have earned freebies, and I will send those soon).
THE MONSTER CLUB is a campy/creepy horror anthology flick from 1980, starring Vincent Price, John Carradine, Donald Plesence and more. It opens with a vampire inviting a famous author to join him at a club for monsters (i.e. people in really cheesy masks) where bad ’80s music is played (including UB40). There, three stories are told:
-one about a lonely monster who falls for a sexy con artist
-one, played for laughs, about a bullied schoolboy whose father is a certain Transylvanian Count
-and finally, one about a film director who stumbles upon a village of ghouls
DVD extras include the complete playable soundtrack, full-length commentary by my good self and Gregory Weinkauf, and a hidden extra short film in which I interview weapons coordinator Sean Barry-Weske, then go out to the beach to use the slingshot with him. (if you can’t find this extra, ask me how)
Now, the contest:
Write your very best LYT parody, based either on the blog or my reviewing style. If you’re new to this site, there’s over a year’s worth of archives for reference.
THE RULES:
1. Must be more than a paragraph, i.e. an entry reading “Review Update: Chicks show their hooters in the movie CHICKS WITH HOOTERS” will not be sufficient.
2. Only one entry per person.
3. Entries will be judged not by me, but by you, the readers. When all have been received, I will post them on the site without naming the authors. You will then vote by minipoll on the message board (anyone I catch voting for themselves will have their vote invalidated)
4. You will not necessarily remain anonymous — if your post somehow directly offends any friend of mine, and they ask who wrote it, I will tell them.
5. My immediate family is off-limits for parody, unless you’re a member of it.
6. Deadline for entries will be arbitrarily and capriciously decided by me. Email all entries to contests at lytrules dot com.
7. More than one person has to enter to make this a contest.
Based on rule number one, I’m excluded. haha
Oh, come on. I was hoping for great things from you.
I’m just kidding. I started something right after that last post.
I’m an idiot, where do I enter?
And to prove I’m an even bigger idiot, I just now saw that it said where to enter all along.