Ah’m a fag! Heeh heeh heeh!

Last night, it turned out there were no interesting screenings, so after the LAFF porch party, I swung by the dying embers of the Press Club gathering.

I was upbeat. My doctor gave me a clean bill of health. Liver fine, dick un-rashy. Time to get drunk and fuck.

As everyone left, I went downstairs with my friend S, and her friend F, both of whom were not ready to end the evening. F mentioned that she used to date the guy who owned the place, I think.

(just for the record here: S is an older woman who has never been an option in “that way” for various reasons, but is a good friend; F was not unattractive except for her smoking, which is a huge turn-off for me]

F immediately starts talking to a guy at the bar like she knows him. She doesn’t, but he’s delighted to have found a friendly person, though not in “that way” either — he was very clearly gay. Big black guy in good physical shape, hair straightened back in a ponytail-type shape (but not actually tied).

I think his name was Michael, but I am going to refer to him from here on out as the Hobo Homo. Because he was homeless, and because I don’t feel kindly disposed towards him in the cold hard light of day. But we’ll get to that. I should note that he wasn’t dirty or bad smelling or homeless in any blatantly obvious way. I only know because he told me.

So S and I order food, and F gets tequila shots for all of us except S, who is to drive. F is drinking amounts that would fuck me up at this point, and she keeps getting up to dance with HH, and insisting he kiss her on the lips, which he does, but he keeps expressing that he’d rather get with me than her. This doesn’t bother me, yet.

When we’re done, and pay the bill, and I fix a math error in the bill, everyone goes to the restroom and says we’ll meet outside. HH keeps trying to talk to me while pissing, and pisses on the floor every time he turns to me. May be hoping I’ll be aroused by his large cock. I’m not.

I go outside. No-one there. HH joins me shortly. We wait. HH insists we’ve been ditched. This is incomprehensible to me based on what I know of S. But we go inside, and HH even checks the ladies’ room. The women have gone.

And now the Hobo Homo wants to party with me.

What’s fucked up about this is that F made a bunch of promises to him, and told him he could come home with her. I doubt there’d have been sex, but he was clearly looking forward to having someplace to go for the night, and now it was gone. So he was gonna do his damnedest to get it out of me.

I’m not a dick most of the time, and I didn’t really have anything against him, and felt he had been screwed over. He also was not gonna go away. So I offered him a ride to wherever he needed to go. He wouldn’t tell me where, but said he’d show me. Then he said he wanted me to go score some crack with him. Then he begged me to let him suck my dick.

These requests would be repeated several times. Finally, he decided he wanted to be dropped off at a liquor store, to spend the $6 F had given him before blowing him off. He asked me to wait for him.

I seriously thought about driving away. But it did occur to me that maybe just one person tonight should keep his word. I told him I would wait, but needed to drop him off somewhere afterward.

“I wanna go to the crack places” he said
“Well, tell me where that is”
“Not far”

He seemed to realize at this point that getting me to go gay would not happen, and gave up. He asked to be dropped off at the nearby bus stop, so I did.

But before he’d get out of the car, he puckered up his lips. Fine, I thought, if this is the last of it. So I gave him a quick kiss.

Somehow I have less of a problem with fake same sex kisses than straight ones, maybe because there’s no chance of emotional attachment. So when he wanted one more, okay, I did it. Then he got out of the car and I left. There was no tongue involved, just to be clear.

It was only after that it bothered me. Well, being left with him in the first place bothered me. But then I thoguht about all the diseases he might have had, the fact that my lips were chapped and cracked and maybe subject to infection, etc.

And that’s the story of my first same-sex kiss. I hope I will not accumulate any more outside of an acting role.

(S later emailed, said she thought we had left. I guess she came out of her bathroom first.)