Tagged again…and excuses

Well, looks like a new thing has been started up, this time by Maia “Cecile DuBois” Lazar…since I could use a break from writing about LAFF and gayness, I answer the tag. Or will try to.

1. What were three of the stupidest things you have done in your life?

-Ignore — until it was almost too late — the worst stomach pain I’ve ever had in my life, thinking I could stick it out while my appendix died.

-Drunk beer and smoked pot at the same time before I had a tolerance for either, leading to a near-death experience [don't ask...really...I'm sick of telling this story]

-Told my dad that I wished another person was my father. That other person, it turns out, was having an affair with my mom (I didn’t know that). If I ever see him again in my life (unlikely), it will take a lot of restraint to keep from hitting him. Hard.

2. At the current moment, who has the most influence in your life?

Answering this honestly might give someone a big head. Let’s just say it’s probably one of the following:

-My major editors, Erich Burnett and Andy Klein, who control my work assignments.

-The principal director friends I have worked with and am working with still: Gregory Hatanaka, Lucky McKee, and Paul Hough. This is not to dismiss Angela and Kevin; I just haven’t worked with them as much.

3. If you were given a time machine that functioned, and you were allowed to only pick up to five people to dine with, who would you pick?

I’ve answered this one before in other forms, so my answer may be familiar to some readers. 1 – Osama Bin Laden, because then his whereabouts would not be in doubt; 2 – Jesus Christ, so he could separate fact from fiction once and for all (assuming he could speak English, which is unlikely, but so is a time machine); 3 – Mark Twain, who would probably be a funny drunk; 4 – Some hot actress who wants me (I could probably find one if I had a time machine); 5 – someone from the future, to give me advance knowledge I could profit with.

4. If you had three wishes that were not supernatural, what would they be?

- That the world’s heads of state would realize that we really need to get our shit together if this planet is to survive, and act in cooperation.
- A bunch of money.
- I really, really would like to find an attractive woman who actually sees my good qualities and appreciates them as more than a friend.

5. Someone is visiting your hometown/place where you live at the moment. Name two things you regret your city not having, and two things people should avoid.

- I regret not having a Wal-Mart, even though every other frickin’ town in America does. I also regret not having a legal and affordable brothel

- People should avoid any place here that they’ve heard name-checked in a rap song.

6. Name one event that has changed your life.

The biggest one was probably when I left my mother in Ireland and moved to the U.S. in spring 1989. I think she’s still of the opinion that I made a mistake, but I know that I would have done something drastic, probably for the worse, had I stayed in Ireland. Being back in America was a change, but one I quickly acclimated to. I belong here.

[addendum] People often remark, in reference to my hair, that I’m not exactly “Mr. Patriotic,” meaning, of course, that I’m not conservative. What I’ve just told you about one of the key decisions of my life should put that to rest. I know what it’s like to want to live here and not be able to do so. Which is why, while I have infinite patience and affinity for those who criticize our government, I have very little for those who trash the country itself. Being patriotic to me means not being in denial about what this country is, which is — essentially — a big, beautiful mess. Even with right wing governmental control, we are still not, and never will be, a nation of button-down straight-arrow Christian Conservatives. We like our porn and beer and rock ‘n’ roll way too much, and that’s part of what I love.

7. Tag 5 people.

Well, I know from experience that Dave White isn’t going to answer, which is too bad. sooo, let’s see….

I tag David Ehrenstein, David Scott, R. Pete Peterson, Martin Devon, and Steve “Smythe” Smith.

I know at least one of those people will follow suit.