What are your hobbies?
That’s a question that gets asked a lot in the dating world, online or otherwise. And I don’t have a good answer.
Objectively speaking, or at least attempting to do so, my major hobbies that come to mind are toy collecting and being a wrestling fan. These are also the two things I least want women to focus on when I meet them, for I know that unless I happen to have encountered the most perfect woman for me on the face of the planet, odds are she’s into neither of those two thing, and quite likely has several negative caricatures in mind of those who are.
So beyond that…what? What do I do in my spare time? I like to act and make movies and help other people make their movies. But is that a hobby, or a vocation? Same with going to the movies — theoretically a hobby, but I almost never do it on my own timetable in a non-work-related setting.
So what else? I like to drink alcohol. I sometimes play videogames, but not often and they have to be easy ones. I compulsively surf the net.
I think I have to date someone in the entertainment industry who lives and breathes movie culture like I do. Otherwise, I’m not sure what I can offer in the way of common interests.
Those of you who know me personally — are there hobbies I have that I’m forgetting? If you were writing a personal ad for me, what would you say my hobbies were?
I’m not fishing for compliments here. I’m just wondering what my interests actually are, from an observer’s perspective.
I don’t know you well enough to answer that one. I think the some of the most fond memories I have of dating/living with Dave are of hunting down rare and unusual action figures together (tho it wasn’t very good for our wallets). Where O’ where are all my fellow geek girls so that I may hook them up with LYT and Joe who doth lack girlfriends? If I run into one I’ll send her your way.
Of course, I’ll make sure she passes the Julie Girl-Crush O’ Meter first, tho.
Hey, and what more could you ask for?
So if the whole point of this is to “shift” the focus of chicks away from what you really are and what you really like, just fucking lie to them. Say that you were into snowboarding till you busted your knee a couple months ago. Also, you travel to third world countries and build hospitals whenever possible. You’re studying mandarin, but you’re embarrassed about your accent. Also, you’re in the process of getting your MBA. And… you’re writing a novel about supporting your father during his emotional battle with cancer. And you’re in a band. You’re the drummer.
Dude ReJeKt.. that was fucking funny.
Thanks for that.
LYT, I think you have it down pat, you are who you think you are. Maybe you need to move?
LYT can’t move… He’s SO LA.
I’d actually like to know how ReJeKt “sold” himself to women before finding the one.
Surely not by saying, “Hey baby, I like to start arguments, get drunk, and encourage vehement apathy!”
He is a good cook and that goes a long way. But seriously, Max, how did you talk about yourself while still in the dating game?
visquene007 is free to answer this one too.
Yeah, but if a man told me he was a good cook I’d think he was a mama’s boy, so I don’t think that’s a selling point in ReJeKt’s favor, either.
You could tell them about your blog–this is sort-of a hobby. Do you go to concerts? That’d count as another.
First of all, I got down to my “dating weight” by losing about 60-70 pounds. Then I slipped into a deep depression that forced me to seek external validation from almost everyone I met. Then I did enough drugs to seem “cool” and “complex.”
When all that wore off, I learned to cook.
Also, I’m dead sexy.
get it down pat – or offpat – or off offpat,
you should mention music – but if your tatses are exclusively at the heavy electric end this again, like the toys, is not helping the odds.
I would say that you like wide ranging philosophical discussion and sushi. And relax into who you are. Being a good listener and bright eyed is going to cover up any odd little habit/hobby that might appear important on a date – but isn’t really.
I know your Mum has been down on the toys and wrestling thing – its seen as very unclassy and immature by loads of her peers – but hey, If I was a girl telling you my story, I’d think, – its your thing, I’ll dig you with or without it –
I’ll normally find a way to get interested in almost any subject – that’s why I can enjoy a movie like “Ready to rumble”, without being in any way a wrestling fan.
don’t forget self-promotion, you spend a lot of time on that one.
seriously, though, i say embrace the geekier aspects of your nature. be honest and they might respect you more for being up-front.
then again, i’m not getting any, and i don’t live in LA so i have no idea what the dating scene is like.
a t-shirt design to help with this is that picture of you and bruce campbell and the caption ‘i’ve touched him, want to touch me?’
“that’s why I can enjoy a movie like “Ready to rumble”, without being in any way a wrestling fan.”
No contradiction there — most wrestling fans didn’t enjoy it.
I liked No Holds Barred…
did they not enjoy it because it was a silly movie (which I wouldn’t argue against)
or because it took the pee out of wrestling? – coz I would worry that people taking it in any way seriously are in trouble, I thought the film succesfully illustrated that it is done with a sense of humour.
As you get better and better at that you do, and your work branches out, and your maturity rounds itself out like a stream stone, you will simply come into contact with somebody (somebodys) from the blue. Approaching this whole business as something technical, i.e. a “do this & this to achieve that kind” of notion, is a tough approach, because the living & chance required are so organic. From your current mindset this idea probably sucks though! You desire companionship. That’s basic, and the urge is strong, and I know it hurts. If it’s purely physical satiation you want, in this town, open yourself to one-night stands & wildness, I can’t say that enough, and don’t rule out things on stigma (whether yours or somebody else’s). I think this can be done safely. It’s a will call.
In the meantime Get Famous.
rejekt–you are really funny.
Well, mainly it was because, in an ill-fated attempt to promnote the movie, WCW head booker Vince Russo contrived a storyline that made David Arquette the world heavyweight champion for a week.
But aside from that, I can tell you my problems with it:
1. David Arquette = not funny. Portraying a real redneck southern wrestling fan would have much more potential for amusement.
2. The movie doesn’t seem clear on what it wants to do with wrestling — take it seriously or “take the pee out.” It goes back and forth on whether it’s even fixed or not, and anachronistically posits that Oliver Platt’s character (a parody of Jerry “the King” Lawler), a definite ’60s-’70s type, would or could be the number one star today and beat Diamond Dallas Page in a fair fight. Okay, maybe that’s the joke. But it’s a less funny one than many of the actual deliberate jokes in real wrestling storylines (it’s no coincidence that all the best wrestling movies are documentaries: Beyond teh Mat, Hitman Hart: Wrestling With Shadows, and The Backyard — truth in wrestling is often much stranger than people imagine).
The best part about the movie was Martin Landau’s character, a take-off on old-schoolers liek Stu Hart or Killer Kowalski who run wrestling schools where they beat the shit out of young kids who assume it’s all fake. That was a gag that I imagine is funny to non-fans, and can amuse the real fans too who get the additional reference. If the rest of the movie had had that kind of dual-level to it, maybe…
What am I, chopped liver for advice? Been married six years and together for 8… I had to sell myself too, believe it or not. Though, it helped that I wasn’t fat then. I was still a loser, though… had pretty much dropped every class and was still living in my dorm.
Well, hmm, let’s see…. my humble advice is to play up the creative ambitious side of yourself, yes, film is technically more of a career than a hobby, but more than that it’s your passion, so it should weigh in heavily on the interest-o-meter.
As for ReJeKt, he once had grand film ambitions as well, as well as a sense of humor, a great movie collection and a sensitive nature. He didn’t used to be quite this much of a jackass, but I’m hooked, and I can’t cook worth shit.
accentuate the positive – your intelligence and intellect, interest in world politics and debate, passion for your work/hobby – the fact that your hobby is your work, self-awareness is always high on women’s lists I think, or maybe that’s just as we get older? sushi, walking (very eccentric walking round LA), sociability ( but don’t list drinking as a hobby!) perhaps openness to new experience, i.e. tell me about your interests and perhaps I can talk with you about them.