2005 in film: Honorable mentions

All the following films were considered for my ten best but didn’t make it. But before I name them, a word or two about the whole “ten best” thing.

Damn near everyone I know makes a “top ten” movie list. Many email it to everyone they know. Some go on and on all year about whether some movie will be on their top ten or not, despite the fact that no-one will ever see their list.

I find ten arbitrary, and would not do a top ten list except that my job requires it of me. So I might as well share it, since I assume many of you who come to a film critic’s blog actually expect to read opinions about movies every once in a while.

That said, here are the movies that almost made it but didn’t, some with comment and some without…

Constantine – I don’t care if it wasn’t like the comic; the movie was good, with Keanu playing within his range. It’s lame that he quits smoking at the end, and Shia LaBeouf is miscast, but I like the theological notions and the hard-R rating, nto to mention that one great visual of all the cows falling over as teh cursed guy walks past them.

Saw II – Tobin Bell is awesome, and the twists in this sequel worked a lot better than in the first one.

Millions – A movie that should have utterly sucked, but in Danny Boyle’s hands turned into a charming fantasy. Boyle hasn’t been this good since TRAINSPOTTING.

Broken Flowers – humor so dry and so subdued that it didn’t work for everyone, but Bill Murray and Jim Jarmusch make quite a pair.

Kontroll

hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy – other than not wrapping up the Humma Kavula storyline, I thought they nailed this thing pretty effectively, and Mos Def proved that truly colorblind casting really can pay off.

Kingdom of Heaven

Lord of War – every once in a while, it’s nice to have a gleefully amoral protagonist who doesn’t really learn anything and sticks to his wicked ways. Nic Cage is the right actor to be that guy.

Corpse Bride – Looks pretty, and less annoying songs and story than in that other Tim Burton animated thing all the goth chicks love.

A History of Violence – Cronenberg’s best in ages. Props to my homie screenwriter Josh Olson.

Zathura – Featuring the best line of the year: “Get me a juice box, biatch!”

Syriana – Like Traffic except it isn’t really boring.

Sorry Haters – a masterpiece of low budget digital-video moviemaking, with Robin Wright Penn as a crazy chick who messes with the mind of a Muslim cab driver. As a festival pick it doesn’t really count as this year.

Stay

Waiting…

Crimen Ferpecto – wacky Spanish hijinks with a womanizing department store manager who’d be played by Bruce Campbell if the movie were in English.

Kamikaze Girls – you know that unique kind of cartoony surreal weirdness that only comes from Japan? This movie’s full of it.

The Roost – Ti West set out to make a movie that literally looks like you rented it on Betamax from the back of some video store during the ’80s. He succeeded.

Match Point – I hate Woody Allen most of teh time, but his attempt at Hitchcock totally works.

King Kong – The first two-thirds are enough to recommend it, even though the last is tiresome. On DVD we’ll be able to skip the ice-capades.

[and as Max posts above, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang was supposed to be on this list, but slipped my mind when I posted]