Links of the Week 5-25-10

Continuing my Mickey Rourke merchandise obsession, a review of the Whiplash Whopper:

Mickey Rourke on a drinking straw makes a certain amount of ironic sense. Mickey Rourke getting his own menu item at Burger King, however…I never thought I’d see that day come. A cocktail at the Frolic Room, sure. But a burger? I guess it follows when you realize that his face somewhat resembles a pound of ground beef.

Some Mountain Dew-mocracy with this one:

Before Red Bull, Mountain Dew was known as the caffeine king of carbonated beverages, and its glowing green color, suggesting radioactivity and/or Kryptonite, only added to the appeal. Quark could have served this on Deep Space Nine.

A movie review of LETTERS TO JULIET:

I get THE NOTEBOOK. Can’t say I fully enjoy it, but I get why it works. And I do enjoy me some Garner and Rowlands in most anything these days. I don’t get TWILIGHT. I don’t get most of the movies Kate Hudson chooses to make. Ashley Judd’s output over the last decade was mostly horrific to me. So maybe I am hopelessly unromantic, but I’d like to think that somewhere out there, somebody can make a love story that appeals to crying women without insulting my intelligence and standards. Until then, I get to sit through tedious exercises like LETTERS TO JULIET.

Follow that with some El Pollo Loco chicken sandwich reviewing:

The Jalapeno sandwich, comes with a slice of pepper jack cheese that is warmed enough to sweat, but not enough to melt. A minor error in judgment on that, I’d say, but the taste is still acceptable. Then there’s chipotle sauce…mmmm…chipotle….seriously, this particular chipotle sauce may be the best fast food version I’ve had, with the smoked peppers distinctly hitting the palate. With just the right number of pepper slices melting into this sauce on top of that nice big chunk o’ breast, you get yourself something that wouldn’t be amiss on a real restaurant’s menu.

I wrote an open letter to Shia LaBeouf:

When President Obama went to Europe after being elected, his critics accused him of embarking on an “apology” tour on America’s behalf. One can debate the extent to which such comments were accurate, but what is certain is that they pale in comparison to YOUR recent trip to Europe, during the course of which you’ve felt the need to explicitly, and without equivocation, apologize for TRANSFORMERS 2 and INDIANA JONES 4 (Yes, I know neither one is actually, specifically referred to in the official title by number, but it’s easier, and we all know which movies I’m talking about).

And then a review of MACGRUBER:

Originally a one-note parody of the ‘80s TV show MacGyver, MacGruber (Will Forte) as a sketch character was also a virtual update of the ‘80s SNL sketch “Toonces, the Driving Cat.” Every skit is more or less the same: a character with an alleged talent invariably screws up and kills everyone, only to return again some subsequent week and do more or less the same thing. Various MacGruber sketches have also depicted him with a gay son (Shia LaBeouf) and as the actual son of MacGyver (played once again by original star Richard Dean Anderson). The movie ignores any such “canon,” as it were, carrying over only Kristen Wiig as sidekick Vicki St. Elmo (though to appreciate the movie’s funniest line, a passing knowledge of the sketch is helpful).

Also one of IRON MAN 2:

It may not pack the same surprise as the first one, but with a half-dozen major characters and subplots, this sequel feels like an actual Marvel comic set in a superheroic universe.

…and ROBIN HOOD:

I tuned out right about the time Robin started lecturing Prince John and an assembled group of barons about a bill of rights and limited central government. Scott and Crowe should have just gone ahead and done a George Washington biopic instead.