Let’s dive in, shall we?
A long-overdue review of Baja Fresh:
Normally, if I ordered something called a nacho burrito and got something this dry and annoying, I’d imagine I just caught an employee on a bad day. But three bad burritos in three days, y’know…there’s probably some kind of appropriate metaphor to be had in a sport, like maybe baseball; I just can’t quite think of what it might be.
A PREDATOR sequel that doesn’t suck:
It’s frustrating the way this mystery over where they are is drawn out, because it’s unlikely moviegoers can’t predict what’s coming in a movie called Predators that has a picture of the main Predator on its poster.
So given that you already know this is a movie about humans hunted by Predators where, in all likelihood, the main characters will get picked off one by one, we might as well cut to the chase.
Nic Cage trains Mickey Mouse? Not quite:
Contrary to popular belief, the story of a hapless wizard’s assistant who misguidedly brings broomsticks to life doesn’t originate with Walt Disney and Mickey Mouse. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe first wrote it as a poem in 1797. So it really isn’t as blasphemous as some may think to have Jay Baruchel follow in Mickey’s footsteps as a physics student named Dave, or that the long-bearded sorcerer Yensid (Disney spelled backward) has been replaced by Nicolas Cage as Balthasar Blake, an apprentice of Merlin’s who is destined to remain immortal until he can find the legendary magician’s true heir.
The summer movie everyone had high hopes for pays off:
It’s tough to review a movie when everyone you mention the title to sticks their fingers in their ears and goes “LALALALA! No spoilers!” So all we’ll say to those folks is that Inception’s a smartly scripted, big-budget action/heist movie of the sort you’d expect from the director of The Dark Knight.
Finally, KFC’s new Double Down spinoff called the Doublicious:
Doublicious definition
Makes this boy go crazy
They want the spin-off
So they make a rip-off that is lazyKFC, see, it ain’t breezy
You can’t please me just this easy
There’s a reason the Double Down pleased ‘em
This is a cynical attempt to squeeze ‘em
You nailed both Baja fresh and the nacho burrito. Sucktastic. Never did think of three LYT words. Total mental block… Geeky, um…