Hong Kong Seafood Basket at Cuz’s Uptown BBQ:

Crawdad found in Cuz’s swimming pool:

Mike’s new dog Punky:

Cousin Mary and Aunt Bebby:

Brother Arthur gives a speech at Ming’s rehearsal dinner:

Father of the bride gets uncharacteristically emotional:

Cousin Gus and my father:

Julia goes southern:

Uncle Kip Chez Biggs:

Mother & Son:

Stepmother & daughter:

Julia goes Old [...]]]> Trailer in the Chinese buffet parking lot:

Hong Kong Seafood Basket at Cuz’s Uptown BBQ:

Crawdad found in Cuz’s swimming pool:

Mike’s new dog Punky:

Cousin Mary and Aunt Bebby:

Brother Arthur gives a speech at Ming’s rehearsal dinner:

Father of the bride gets uncharacteristically emotional:

Cousin Gus and my father:

Julia goes southern:

Uncle Kip Chez Biggs:

Mother & Son:

Stepmother & daughter:

Julia goes Old South:

The wedding: Uncle Tim presides:

Bride + Babe:

More to come…

Speaks for itself.

Meanwhile, if you still care, I reviewed SALT:

The crux of the entire thing is that we don’t know what’s going on inside our main character’s head, which makes her impossible to identify with or relate to. This can work if the folks opposing her are compelling and identifiable, but they [...]]]>

Speaks for itself.

Meanwhile, if you still care, I reviewed SALT:

The crux of the entire thing is that we don’t know what’s going on inside our main character’s head, which makes her impossible to identify with or relate to. This can work if the folks opposing her are compelling and identifiable, but they are neither: Chiwetel Ejiofor turns in an uncharacteristically generic and lazy performance as the skeptical Peabody, while Schreiber only serves to remind us that he was in a more official Manchurian Candidate remake.

More fun than that was LIFE DURING WARTIME:

There is, however, more going on here than just dirty humor. The complete recasting of every major player gives a unique cinematic shorthand for the ways in which people change over the course of a decade…and in more ways than one might realize at first. Coming out of the movie, for example, I was convinced that Allison Janney’s Trish Jordan and Michael Lerner’s Harvey Wiener were the only major characters not to be recast, as a way of showing that these individuals had not moved on sufficiently with their lives. Then I went to imdb, and I was completely wrong: Cynthia Stevenson had originally played Trish, with Bill Buell the first Harvey. Already, and possibly without even trying, the movie has taught me a quick lesson in questioning memory and perception.

What a week.

A long-overdue review of Baja Fresh:

Normally, if I ordered something called a nacho burrito and got something this dry and annoying, I’d imagine I just caught an employee on a bad day. But three bad burritos in three days, y’know…there’s probably some kind of appropriate metaphor to be had in a [...]]]> Let’s dive in, shall we?

A long-overdue review of Baja Fresh:

Normally, if I ordered something called a nacho burrito and got something this dry and annoying, I’d imagine I just caught an employee on a bad day. But three bad burritos in three days, y’know…there’s probably some kind of appropriate metaphor to be had in a sport, like maybe baseball; I just can’t quite think of what it might be.

A PREDATOR sequel that doesn’t suck:

It’s frustrating the way this mystery over where they are is drawn out, because it’s unlikely moviegoers can’t predict what’s coming in a movie called Predators that has a picture of the main Predator on its poster.

So given that you already know this is a movie about humans hunted by Predators where, in all likelihood, the main characters will get picked off one by one, we might as well cut to the chase.

Nic Cage trains Mickey Mouse? Not quite:

Contrary to popular belief, the story of a hapless wizard’s assistant who misguidedly brings broomsticks to life doesn’t originate with Walt Disney and Mickey Mouse. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe first wrote it as a poem in 1797. So it really isn’t as blasphemous as some may think to have Jay Baruchel follow in Mickey’s footsteps as a physics student named Dave, or that the long-bearded sorcerer Yensid (Disney spelled backward) has been replaced by Nicolas Cage as Balthasar Blake, an apprentice of Merlin’s who is destined to remain immortal until he can find the legendary magician’s true heir.

The summer movie everyone had high hopes for pays off:

It’s tough to review a movie when everyone you mention the title to sticks their fingers in their ears and goes “LALALALA! No spoilers!” So all we’ll say to those folks is that Inception’s a smartly scripted, big-budget action/heist movie of the sort you’d expect from the director of The Dark Knight.

Finally, KFC’s new Double Down spinoff called the Doublicious:

Doublicious definition
Makes this boy go crazy
They want the spin-off
So they make a rip-off that is lazy

KFC, see, it ain’t breezy
You can’t please me just this easy
There’s a reason the Double Down pleased ‘em
This is a cynical attempt to squeeze ‘em

Geekweek review of THE KILLER INSIDE ME:

Unlike the more justified killer also named Ford that Affleck played previously (in that Jesse James movie I will not retype the entire title of), [...]]]> Okay, now that you’ve had a chance to read through all my LAFF stuff, here are some other recent articles you may have missed:

Geekweek review of THE KILLER INSIDE ME:

Unlike the more justified killer also named Ford that Affleck played previously (in that Jesse James movie I will not retype the entire title of), Lou’s justifications for himself, when they exist, are flimsy at best, hilarious other times. When he his fiancé accuses him of cheating, he deflects by insisting “Don’t tell me that the girl I’m about to marry is sleeping with a guy who’s been running around with whores!” This being the ‘50s – or that being the most convoluted non-excuse ever – that actually makes her back down. But don’t try it at home.

E! Online review of KNIGHT AND DAY:

The movie plays its final few developments as surprise twists, but they’ve been so thoroughly telegraphed that spoilers aren’t even necessary—you’ve spoiled the story in your own mind before it gets there. It’s a shame that an initially fast-paced romp like this limps across the finish line…as Cruise should know from M:I:III, a weak finale can undercut considerable goodwill.

and also of THE TWILIGHT SAGA: ECLIPSE:

Slade was considered an unusual choice as director for this third chapter in the series, a guy who supposedly earned horror cred with the more violent vampire voyage 30 Days of Night. But he has plenty in common with the Twilight series: two previous features that were generally overrated by fans, and a knack for creating characters nowhere near as appealing as they need to be.

Finally, THE LAST AIRBENDER. This has not been a good summer for movies:

Angry Asian advocacy groups have protested the fact that some of the characters have been cast against racial type, but there’s no need to boycott this movie because of perceived insensitivity. Boycott it because it’s crappy.

It was a lot of work. Hope you enjoy.

DAY 1 – preview – Camera Camera, Circo, Dog Sweat, Everyday Sunshine: The [...]]]> Having blogged the LA Film Festival nearly every one of its ten days, I present a hand-dandy links guide below, so you can skip to a particular story based on what movies are discussed therein.

It was a lot of work. Hope you enjoy.

DAY 1 – preview – Camera Camera, Circo, Dog Sweat, Everyday Sunshine: The Story of Fishbone, Farewell, Hello Lonesome, The New Year, Of Love and Other Demons, One Lucky Elephant

DAY 2 – opening – The Kids Are All Right

DAY 3 – Disco and Atomic War, Cane Toads: The Conquest in 3D

DAY 4 – One Day Less, The Red Chapel, Bibliotheque Pascal

DAY 5 – The Tillman Story, Bitter Feast

DAY 6 – Cold Weather, Lebanon

DAY 7 – John Lithgow Q&A, with The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension

DAY 8 – Monsters, Street Days, Vlast (Power), and A Family

DAY 9 – Animal Kingdom, Lost Angels

DAY 10 – Paul Reubens (Pee-wee herman) Q&A, with Pee-wee’s Big Adventure

DAY 11 – post-fest wrap-up – Golden Slumber, Four Lions, Welcome to the Rileys, Life With Murder, Despicable Me

Damn, that’s a lot of words I cranked out.

But before you dive into that, let’s get you caught up with my other stuff from [...]]]> Longtime readers know I love to blog the LA Film Fest each year. You can see my first two posts HERE and HERE; stay tuned all week for more, which will show up, among other things, at this here page.

But before you dive into that, let’s get you caught up with my other stuff from around the web. There’s an article I wrote about THE A-TEAM movie:

In one notable scene, Murdock (Sharlto Copley), confined to a mental institution, shows his fellow inmates an action movie on DVD. The audience will recognize that the movie’s theme song is that of the A-Team TV series. But what you might not catch is that its opening credits list an actor named “Reg Barclay.” This was the name of the character played by original Murdock actor Dwight Schultz on Star Trek: The Next Generation.

Boneless wings are bullshit.

Sorry, just had to get that off my chest right upfront. Nothing personal to the heirs of the late Dave Thomas, but despite the fact that Budweiser hails the nameless “Mr. Boneless Buffalo Wing Inventor” as one of their Real Men of Genius, [...]]]> First, the fast food. Let’s talk about Chipotle Boneless Wings:

Boneless wings are bullshit.

Sorry, just had to get that off my chest right upfront. Nothing personal to the heirs of the late Dave Thomas, but despite the fact that Budweiser hails the nameless “Mr. Boneless Buffalo Wing Inventor” as one of their Real Men of Genius, the truth is that these things are a lie. Boneless “wings” contain breast meat. Only someone who has never eaten a whole chicken before could possibly mistake that for wing meat. They’re even more deceptive than the places that have “wings” on the menu but then only serve you drumettes, leaving out the essential lower part of the wing (which is better) and the tip, which can occasionally contain a tiny bit of crunchy goodness worth nibbling.

And cheap chicken and beer, the necessities of life:

But how good can movie theater chicken be? Let’s begin by saying I’ve had much worse at more “legitimate” eateries.

These tenders are breaded, fried, and frozen; then re-heated in AMC’s ovens, which are not unlike Subway’s toaster ovens. This results in them being served piping hot, and occasionally garnished with unidentified bits of blackened burning. Sound gross? Nahh, it adds character. Makes it feel genuinely oven-fresh, in a weird way.

Onward to movies. Let us discuss GET HIM TO THE GREEK:

Is Russell Brand an ironic pretentious jackass, or a genuine one? Articles like the recent Rolling Stone cover story cast some doubt on the issue…but on the other hand, the ensuing confusion arguably makes him more believable as an obnoxious rock celebrity who has not only ruined his own life, but also sucks the lives around him into his circle of self-destruction.

And KILLERS, too:

Romantic farces depend on conflict. Get a duo that can bicker amusingly rather than irritatingly, throw them into a sticky situation, and you’ve got the makings of classic screwball. The only screwball here, however, seems to be director Robert Luketic (whose Legally Blonde looks like an all-time classic by comparison), a filmmaker who takes almost an hour to disrupt this happy couple’s idyllic life with a dose of attempted murder.

I finally ate the one fast food item I’ve been wanting to try for a while:

Oh yeah. Four words no-one ever thought to put together before: CHILI CHEESE FRIES BURRITO. For those of you who just hate the Atkins diet, and every other diet.

It’s [...]]]> When the girlfriend’s away, the writer’s cramp will display…

I finally ate the one fast food item I’ve been wanting to try for a while:

Oh yeah. Four words no-one ever thought to put together before: CHILI CHEESE FRIES BURRITO. For those of you who just hate the Atkins diet, and every other diet.

It’s the skinniest damn burrito I’ve ever seen, that’s for sure. When you order a hot dog and a burrito, generically speaking, and two wrapped things show up on your tray, any educated guesser would assume the fatter one is the burrito. Nope. This is barely a burrito; it’s like a soft taquito on steroids.

I also wrote about wrestling toys:

The “Ruthless Aggression” style of wrestling figure is now seven years old. Mattel, which acquired the WWE license when it expired for Jakks, has since flooded stores with more accurate and detailed figures. At one point, Jakks could roll out any old thing, and fans would be all, “hey new figures, whatevs.” But they just unveiled the prototypes for the new “Legends of the Ring” line, which will feature classic TNA and NWA wrestlers, and man, these things are pathetic.

Not to mention a certain former wrestler and his newest stuff:

In-the-know fans are aware that there was some talk of Warrior being a WWE Hall of Fame inductee this year. Warrior says he turned down the offer due to Vince McMahon’s refusal to apologize for the “Self Destruction of the Ultimate Warrior” DVD, noting that either the DVD or the Hall of Fame offer must be a joke, as the two are mutually exclusive — either Ultimate Warrior is hall-of-fame worthy, or a self-destructive loser, but not both.

This prompted Ted DiBiase, who ultimately was the main inductee, to comment that Warrior didn’t deserve to be in the Hall of Fame. Rarely at a loss for words, the Ultimate One has fired back with a new online commentary that takes particular aim at DiBiase’s newfound role as a minister.

I reviewed PRINCE OF PERSIA, the movie:

Gyllenhaal plays Dastan, and we know he’s called Dastan, because characters specifically refer to him by name onscreen every two minutes or so. (Perhaps “Dastan” is ancient Persian for “Denny.”) Just like Disney’s Aladdin, he’s a street urchin who becomes a prince, though the process for Dastan is a whole lot quicker…the King likes seeing a little kid stand up to one of his guards, and instantly adopts him, in the manner that monarchs tend to do. This despite the fact that the king already has two sons, Tus (Richard Coyle) and Garsiv (Toby Kebbell). All of them have English accents for consistency.

And the newest Jean-Pierre Jeunet whimsy, MICMACS:

What we have here is a very fun movie to look at, and that is in no way meant to damn with faint praise. Jeunet, like his obvious antecedent Terry Gilliam, is good at making stuff that’s cool, and that should not be casually dismissed. But while he aims for the belly laugh, he misses the heart, and like the bullet in Bazil’s head, MICMACS skirts the edges of one’s cerebellum, threatening to  fully engage but never quite doing so.