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Burning WOODS news

[UPDATED: As per one of the comments below, please treat this as RUMOR ONLY. My sources were good, but an even better source now says no]

A couple of readers, including composer Jaye Barnes-Luckett, have tipped me off to a story on Bloody Disgusting about the current status of THE WOODS. I have had it independently confirmed.

I had mentioned before that the movie had always seemed like a PG-13, and that the likely R-rating was probably just for language. This is true, and has apparently become a big hold-up issue.

I didn’t want to spoil this particular aspect of the film, but it’s out there now — I had mentioned that there was copious use of an f-word, but not the one you’d think…

That f-word is “Firecrotch,” a derisive nickname for the red-headed protagonist. It’s apparently the big deal right now, because Screen Gems wants a PG-13. There’s also dialogue about drinking from someone’s douchebag that might have to go in such an event.

Jaye isn’t all that bothered by this. I am. “Firecrotch” not only gets the biggest laughs in the movie, but it’s also in several key scenes that can’t simply be trimmed. Back when the movie seemed like it might need a name change due to Shyamalan’s THE VILLAGE, some of us even said the movie should be called “Firecrotch.” That word was the most memorable thing about the script the first time I read it, and when I watched the audition tapes, it was one of the key things prospective actresses had to say. The school bully character Samantha is totally neutered if you take that word away.

What’s particularly stupid is that it’s a word only a teenager would say, yet it’s the word that may shut them out.

Oh well, if they do make the stupid mistake of doing this, I guess that allows them to do an “unrated, uncensored” DVD later that promises nudity and gore but just features the word “firecrotch.”

What do you think? Take the POLL

[due to being a heavy spam-magnet, this entry is now closed to comments]

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10 comments to Burning WOODS news

  • justin stone

    i think we need to begin brainstorming for looping possibilities, dialogue replacement. my early vote is for fire-splotch. very mean put-down. very mean.

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  • Bre'r Rabbit

    “Oh, please don’t throw me in that fire crotch, Bre’r Fox!”

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  • ms. sadie jenkins

    growing up, i always assumed “firecrotch” was a term of endearment.

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  • abba zabba

    I’ll assume “firehole” is off limits too.

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  • abba zabba

    and pube flame…

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  • offpat

    it wont have any problems getting a 12 cert over here as is, if that’s the only real debating issue,

    those US censors are really up their own firecrotches.

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  • lucky

    Everyone…

    I hate to be an old craghead, but I really wish everyone would shut the hell up about this. I think it’s damaging to the film and until something conclusive happens all talk like this does is fuel the fire and give ideas to people that don’t really need them right now. It is a crucial time, figuring out the appropriate way to put this film out and I really wish everyone one would learn a little patience…lord knows mine has been tried over this process…more than any of you could possibly know…I love the film and love that you all are into it enough to talk about it, but I’m really ask for PATIENCE on your part and FAITH in my ability to make the right decisions in order to get it out to all of you as quickly as I possibly can…So much of this supposed “news” that’s being reported the last couple weeks is RUMORS not TRUTH…I told Bloody Disgusting that I would gladly report something to them when I knew something conclusive, but they’ve seen fit to write articles anyway and grill my friends about it. This is not good journalism. Have a little more respect guys…

    Best…

    Lucky

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  • Thomas Davie

    Temperature enhanced groin region? Nah, wouldn’t fly. If the story is true, it’s pathetic and funny. If the story ss false, it’s still funny. Thermally elevated repoductive area?

    It might be a joke, but it led me to find out about the movie.

    Tom

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  • ok, i donno what youre talking about LYT. ive posted here a couple times because this is pretty much the only site that gives a damn (other than bloody disgusting) about THE WOODS.

    ive seen the woods, and it is simply NOT PG-13 matieral. the best scenes involve intense gore and mutilation. they arent the best scenes because of the gore, thats just an element in them that adds greatly to their intensity.

    this film is one of the very few that has ever made me feel personally in danger for my well being. i broke out in sweat watching it during a few scenes and that never happens to me. i was actually scared during the film, and without the gore it simply loses a lot of that.

    furthermore, the gore happens in scenes that are essental to the plot. the slit wrist scene is important and still seared into my head. the head chopings…did you see the movie? none of that is pg-13!

    anyway, i can do a full review for you of the cut i saw if you wish. but stop saying its already almost pg13, its a hard R, and a damn good film, dont foster its bastardization!

    ps. sorry, i didnt realize i could post a comment on the update…i thought i had to do it on the message boards…so, its posted there too.

    pps. ill write a review of the cut i saw if you wish.

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  • LYT

    “dont foster its bastardization!”

    I’m the one arguing for an R-rating here, in case ya missed it.

    And I’ve seen it too, several times in different forms. It’s hard to explain why I think it’s borderline PG-13 without spoiling, but I don’t think slit wrists in and of themselves are an automatic R. I see movies for a living — that gives me a pretty good idea of what does and doesn’t make the cut for a rating. PG-13 can be pretty lenient, especially if you don’t have any sex or drugs in the movie.

    As for the gore — let me put it this way. Alien versus Predator was PG-13, and was full of violence. But the actual damage to humans was cut very carefully, and the really disgusting stuff involved monster blood.

    The MPAA is of course subjective, which is part of the problem; they have no consistent standards. But if you think I’m in favor of cutting a movie to attain a lower rating, you’re misreading me. If you think I want a friend’s project to come out as anything less than their vision, you do me a disservice.

    I’m really glad to hear you reacted the way you did to the movie, though, and hope that more people will feel the same way when it comes out.

    Anyway — the director wants us to stop talking about it. I’ll abide by that until he tells me otherwise.

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