This is really cool, folks.

After all the bizarre characters I’ve played onscreen thus far, I’m sure you’re wondering how on earth I could follow up.

Well…

Click the link below and you will see…
[Continue reading EXCLUSIVE FIRST LOOK at my character in Paul Hough’s THE HUMAN RACE...]

I never ever took the bus in OC. I was advised not to. That place is more freeway-driven than even L.A., and you have to drive, because everything is strip-malls, except for the small downtown areas of all thirtysomething towns, and you can almost never find parking at most of those except in Orange.

So I was really happy on Sunday night to be attending an event in WeHo that was a straight shot down Santa Monica Blvd…a street I live right off of, that also happens to be pretty much the most reliably bused street in town (sucks to drive, but great for catching buses). Because the HUMAN RACE shoot is currently on hiatus, I was able to attend a charity bingo game set up by my friend and colleague Alonso. I didn’t win anything. But I got to drink beers and not worry about it, because of the good ol’ reliable bus.

So I was all set to right this piece praising the bus. Then today happened.

I had a screening to go to at Universal Citywalk, which for those who don’t know, is atop a steep hill and has expensive parking. No problem! It also has its own subway stop, and I live right by one too.

Except, problem.

Subway “experiencing technical issues.” They apologize for the inconvenience. But time is short, and I won’t make it if I drive.

Thankfully, a train does show up unannounced, and that gets me to the bottom of the Universal hill.

Now time is running out, and the shuttle tram that’s supposed to take people up the hill is nowhere in sight. With ten minutes left to spare, I started running up that road, running up that hill, running up that building. Hardly with no problem.

Aha, I thought, but halfway up there is a parking structure with escalators that’ll get me the rest of the way! Excellent.

Except…that Every. Damn. Escalator. Is. Not. In. Service.

This is one screening where I really could have used the free soda we critics sometimes get. Sadly, we never no in advance which ones those will be.

This was not one.

If you were at the screening with me, I apologize for my sweat.

Also, many of you need to learn to pace yourselves for a movie so you don’t have to walk by me in an aisle with no legroom during the damn movie. Y’all know who you are.

UPDATE: Almost forgot — Amber Benson was the celebrity guest bingo caller at the charity thing. I mention it because her name will probably get me search engine hits.

For those Republicans who didn’t like the ideas in the previous thread, I have an alternate suggestion that is almost guaranteed to get you back in power. Ready? Here it is:

Hope that the economy keeps tanking. Every year. So that by the time 2012 rolls around, 2008 looks like a picnic.

Then, run a candidate for office who is not an airheaded beauty queen, and actually appears to understand something about economics, rather than denying almost all knowledge on the subject..

You will probably win.

But just in case, better have a plan B.

I have no idea why anyone would listen to me on this, as I am no fan of the Republican party. I am hugely enjoying their flailing around right now. Yet I know, given the two-party system, that one day, however far away, they will be on top again. As to how? I’ve been thinking about it, and I think these may be the inevitable adjustments.

-STOP HATING GAYS. Seriously. Biggest obstacle right now. There are plenty of gays that would respond to the message of “low taxes, strong military”…the only problem is you’re getting hung up on the whole “abomination unto God” bit. And when it comes to gay marriage, say all you want about it not being the government’s business, but the biggest reason that it ALWAYS will be is immigration.

As a straight man, I could marry a Mexican woman, and she will become a citizen eventually. If I were gay, and wanted a civil union with a Mexican man…not so. The government is and should always be in the business of immigration, and so long as transnational marriages can only be heterosexual, mere “civil unions” will not be equal justice.

I, and most liberals, would be quite happy with a law that says no church need ever recognize civil unions religiously as marriage…but federal government must.

-Religious plurality. I’m not saying tell the religious right to eff off…that would be stupid. Hell, even though I’m pro-choice, I think the Republican party should probably remain pro-life. But be a party of religious freedom. Most mainstream religions predominantly endorse fairly conservative principles…where you guys get into trouble is insisting that “America is a Christian nation” and that “Christian” means “Biblical literalist.” America is about freedom of religion…feel free to keep advocating that Christians should not be bashed…but be consistent across the board for other religions. You’ll find Muslims can be quite conservative when you don’t call them evil to their faces.

-Telling people that affordable health care for all is bad…losing strategy. Call it socialized medicine all you want, but the public knows they can’t afford the non-socialized version. They’ll take cheap crappy care over none at all. Trying to persuade them they don’t need it won’t work.

You can keep the rest of your platform…I may not agree with torture, death penalty, punitive law enforcement, and so forth, but many do. But the above pointers indicate where I suspect you are on the wrong side of history, just as those who justified segregation were.

Although, hell, why listen to me? I want you to fail. Sadly, I know you can’t do so forever.