I’M STILL HERE
Although the movie is most likely a huge pretense, what if it weren’t? Cameras could probably follow somebody such as Axl Rose and get a real documentary much like this one. In Axl’s case, it would just be sad. Whereas, though it won’t be to everyone’s taste (loud snoring could be heard at one point in the audience at the review screening), I’m Still Here does for the celebrity crash-and-burn story what This Is Spinal Tap did for rock docs. Except Spinal Tap only toured as a real band after the movie.
RESIDENT EVIL: AFTERLIFE 3D
Director Paul W.S. Anderson, who retreated to a producer position after helming the first feature and marrying its star, returns to the franchise with much more money than before, which has enabled all kinds of new and ridiculously cool visual effects—Milla rappelling off a skyscraper in 3-D as the zombie masses run after her like doomed lemmings is a standout moment. But Anderson has never cared much for coherent scripts, and he still doesn’t.
EASY A
Emma Stone makes for a refreshingly believable high-schooler in this comedy that also takes on hypocritical societal double-standards toward gossip and sex. Yep, we’re dealing with that extremely rare species: a big-studio movie aimed at teenage girls that’s also smart and funny enough to please boyfriends and parents.
THE TOWN
The heist scenes are kinetic, tightly directed pieces of work, and the way Charlestown itself becomes a fully realized character is testament to the fact that Affleck has been paying good attention over the years to the best of directors. If only he realized his limitations with the thespian skills—the movie grinds to a boring halt every time Doug has to engage in a long, dramatic dialogue scene with another character, usually in a manner that fails to move the plot forward but might, in an alternate universe, show off the acting talents of the lead.
DEVIL
Now, Devil is no Sixth Sense or Unbreakable—for one thing, nobody in the cast is remotely the caliber of Bruce Willis—but at 80 minutes, it cannot be called overindulgent, which may be due to Shyamalan only being a writer and producer this time, and not director. (Helming duties fall to John Erick Dowdle, whose Quarantine similarly trapped strangers in a scary, confined space to great effect).
It has occurred to me that “Links of the Week” is a terrible title for getting traffic. From now on, actual titles in header.
I have, as some readers may be aware, joined the writing staff of Geekchicdaily.com. I will not be regularly linking to articles there, in part because every piece is a collaboration, but mostly because the site is designed not to really be a website as end goal, but a place where you sign up for a daily email newsletter. The daily email is a very quick read in and of itself (rather than just a bunch of headlines and links, as so many are), and the more of you sign up for it, the more likely I am to get a raise down the line, so please do.
I still write for E! Online, as well. Like these. Click on the all-caps headline for the full review.
TAKERS
A well-rounded cast of character actors (plus Paul Walker) tries to pull off a big robbery while obnoxious alcoholic cop Matt Dillon attempts to stop them. Very nearly a good little heist movie, Takers generates the occasional interesting plot twist but fails at the most basic level of creating characters worth caring about.
THE AMERICAN
This is the movie that was made especially for people who thought Michael Clayton was too fast-paced. If you’re reading this on a computer screen, you’re probably not one of them.
MACHETE
There’s still a lot of fun to be had when he actually does pick up that signature blade and start chopping, but when it comes to Trejo taking the spotlight, we were hoping for more snarly, less sedate.
The crux of the entire thing is that we don’t know what’s going on inside our main character’s head, which makes her impossible to identify with or relate to. This can work if the folks opposing her are compelling and identifiable, but they are neither: Chiwetel Ejiofor turns in an uncharacteristically generic and lazy performance as the skeptical Peabody, while Schreiber only serves to remind us that he was in a more official Manchurian Candidate remake.
There is, however, more going on here than just dirty humor. The complete recasting of every major player gives a unique cinematic shorthand for the ways in which people change over the course of a decade…and in more ways than one might realize at first. Coming out of the movie, for example, I was convinced that Allison Janney’s Trish Jordan and Michael Lerner’s Harvey Wiener were the only major characters not to be recast, as a way of showing that these individuals had not moved on sufficiently with their lives. Then I went to imdb, and I was completely wrong: Cynthia Stevenson had originally played Trish, with Bill Buell the first Harvey. Already, and possibly without even trying, the movie has taught me a quick lesson in questioning memory and perception.
Normally, if I ordered something called a nacho burrito and got something this dry and annoying, I’d imagine I just caught an employee on a bad day. But three bad burritos in three days, y’know…there’s probably some kind of appropriate metaphor to be had in a sport, like maybe baseball; I just can’t quite think of what it might be.
It’s frustrating the way this mystery over where they are is drawn out, because it’s unlikely moviegoers can’t predict what’s coming in a movie called Predators that has a picture of the main Predator on its poster.
So given that you already know this is a movie about humans hunted by Predators where, in all likelihood, the main characters will get picked off one by one, we might as well cut to the chase.
Contrary to popular belief, the story of a hapless wizard’s assistant who misguidedly brings broomsticks to life doesn’t originate with Walt Disney and Mickey Mouse. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe first wrote it as a poem in 1797. So it really isn’t as blasphemous as some may think to have Jay Baruchel follow in Mickey’s footsteps as a physics student named Dave, or that the long-bearded sorcerer Yensid (Disney spelled backward) has been replaced by Nicolas Cage as Balthasar Blake, an apprentice of Merlin’s who is destined to remain immortal until he can find the legendary magician’s true heir.
It’s tough to review a movie when everyone you mention the title to sticks their fingers in their ears and goes “LALALALA! No spoilers!” So all we’ll say to those folks is that Inception’s a smartly scripted, big-budget action/heist movie of the sort you’d expect from the director of The Dark Knight.
Finally, KFC’s new Double Down spinoff called the Doublicious:
Doublicious definition
Makes this boy go crazy
They want the spin-off
So they make a rip-off that is lazy
KFC, see, it ain’t breezy
You can’t please me just this easy
There’s a reason the Double Down pleased ‘em
This is a cynical attempt to squeeze ‘em
Unlike the more justified killer also named Ford that Affleck played previously (in that Jesse James movie I will not retype the entire title of), Lou’s justifications for himself, when they exist, are flimsy at best, hilarious other times. When he his fiancé accuses him of cheating, he deflects by insisting “Don’t tell me that the girl I’m about to marry is sleeping with a guy who’s been running around with whores!” This being the ‘50s – or that being the most convoluted non-excuse ever – that actually makes her back down. But don’t try it at home.
The movie plays its final few developments as surprise twists, but they’ve been so thoroughly telegraphed that spoilers aren’t even necessary—you’ve spoiled the story in your own mind before it gets there. It’s a shame that an initially fast-paced romp like this limps across the finish line…as Cruise should know from M:I:III, a weak finale can undercut considerable goodwill.
Slade was considered an unusual choice as director for this third chapter in the series, a guy who supposedly earned horror cred with the more violent vampire voyage 30 Days of Night. But he has plenty in common with the Twilight series: two previous features that were generally overrated by fans, and a knack for creating characters nowhere near as appealing as they need to be.
Finally, THE LAST AIRBENDER. This has not been a good summer for movies:
Angry Asian advocacy groups have protested the fact that some of the characters have been cast against racial type, but there’s no need to boycott this movie because of perceived insensitivity. Boycott it because it’s crappy.
Having blogged the LA Film Festival nearly every one of its ten days, I present a hand-dandy links guide below, so you can skip to a particular story based on what movies are discussed therein.
It was a lot of work. Hope you enjoy.
DAY 1 – preview – Camera Camera, Circo, Dog Sweat, Everyday Sunshine: The Story of Fishbone, Farewell, Hello Lonesome, The New Year, Of Love and Other Demons, One Lucky Elephant
Longtime readers know I love to blog the LA Film Fest each year. You can see my first two posts HERE and HERE; stay tuned all week for more, which will show up, among other things, at this here page.
In one notable scene, Murdock (Sharlto Copley), confined to a mental institution, shows his fellow inmates an action movie on DVD. The audience will recognize that the movie’s theme song is that of the A-Team TV series. But what you might not catch is that its opening credits list an actor named “Reg Barclay.” This was the name of the character played by original Murdock actor Dwight Schultz on Star Trek: The Next Generation.
If you thought the casting of Neeson presupposed a more serious team, think again: Whether parachuting a tank from a plane, or playing three-card monte using a trio of metal cargo containers and a crane, this team not only gets an A for action, but for absurdity as well. Director Joe Carnahan, who failed to hit the right balance between taut action and goofy camp in Smokin’ Aces, has nailed it this time around.
Comic-book characters like Hex, Ghost Rider, and the Punisher would seem to be a more natural fit for Hollywood than your typical caped crusaders, given that the dark avenger archetype has long been a staple on the big screen. But it seems like every time one of them finally makes it, some moronic executive hears the phrase “comic” and decides to cartoon everything up.
