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February 10, 2005
Speed 2: Cruiser Control [updated]
Due to various admonitions not to be late, I arrived at WeHo restaurant/bar Lola's about 20 minutes early for the speed-dating deal. Forgoing the valet parking -- it's best never to park at a bar if you can avoid it, because that way if you're still not ready to drive at closing time, you can walk around a bit -- I found a good street parking space, and headed to the back room where the deal was gonna go down.
Three gorgeous ladies there already, but they were just HurryDate employees, not participants. Dang.
Drink specials for $5, and a bartender with a huge Wu-Tang Clan tattoo on his bicep. Cool.
Other guys started to trickle in. Mostly guys. They seem pretty careful about balancing the genders online, but here in L.A., RSVPs are no guarantee of attendance, even when people have paid in advance.
After three drinks my nerves were calmer, but I decided not to calm them all the way. A little nervousness can be quite useful.
The room was filling up now. We got name tags with an assigned number on them.
It was becoming easier and easier to stereotype the guys. Most were either (a) guys going prematurely bald, and sporting crewcuts to compensate; or (b) 30-ish, soft-spoken Asian guys. Only a couple of dudes other than myself didn't fit this group. I noticed one of the names on the list was Christian Ristow -- as that's not a common name, I assume this must be the L.A. avant-garde artist who builds giant robots that shoot fire at and have mechanical sex with each other. You'd think that guy would have no trouble getting dates.
The groudn rules are these: people pair off at 26 tables, each of which is marked with a different letter of the alphabet. After 5 minutes, a whistle is blown and all the men stand up and move along to the next letter. This proceeds until the first "A" guy ends up at "Z."
You are given a scorecard with everyone's number on it. There you can circle "yes" or "no." That was all I did with it, but it seemed like most of the women were actually writing down names on it as well.
There were less women than men, which leads to "dead spots" where a guy can be sitting for five minutes with no female at all. These allow for bathroom breaks or more drink orders.
The guy who was before me in the rotation seemed nice -- we had conversed prior to starting. The guy after me seemed a bit of a lothario, so that mgiht have helped my case.
As for the women -- frankly, I wouldn't turn down any of them. They were all both nice and attractive. I only circled no once on my card, and that was because there was no conversational chemistry happening. None of the ladies here seemed like the desperate or undatable type. The same cannot be said for the guys, I'm afraid, but again, maybe that's good for me, or just says something about me, not sure which.
Most of the women were like pros -- they clearly know that men like to talk about themselves. Even when I consciously tried to turn it back to them, they'd keep up rapid-fire questions on me rather than them. It generally seemed like just when I'd finally start to know the interesting stuff about them ("I'm an attorney for homeland security!"), time would be up.
A disproportionate number were L.A.-born, and in the legal profession. I guess male lawyers must make lousy dates. Or guys don't wanna date successful career women (I'd be totally fine with that -- I want my woman to be a success, however she defines it).
Nearly everyone asked "Where are you from?" I'm not good with this question, since by most people's definition of "from," I'm from Ireland -- but I'm not Irish, unless perhaps you trace the Thompson family waaaay back, and I mean way back, because there were Thompsons on the Mayflower.
Then they might ask where my parents live, and I have to get into "Well, my dad splits his time between North Carolina and France because my stepmom doesn't like living in America but my dad can't get a job in Paris..." I guess this is good practice for press junkets when I'm a big star an' shit. My family history bores me at this point, but maybe it entertains others. I just feel like I'm giving a long-winded answer to a question that's strictly a politeness question, like "How are you?" No-one really wants to know how you are -- they're just giving you a greeting.
Also you have to speak up to be heard over everyone else, which can be tiring -- only in one instance did I not hear much of what my counterpart was saying, though.
Amazing also how many women asked point-blank how old I was. I thought that was an impolitic question, unless you're dating a teen and want to be sure she's legal. I don't mind yet because I'm not super-old, but men know never to ask a woman that same question. Though I did, only if they asked first.
At 7:30 tonight the matches will all be posted and I'll see if anyone liked me.
UPDATE AS OF 7:30: None of them liked me. Fuckers. [maybe the one I didn't pick liked me -- but no-one else did]
Posted by LYT at February 10, 2005 3:23 PM [Message Board]
Comments
Luke
next time when you get asked where are you from - say "everywhere - just like you."
its true - the atoms that make you up come from the stars - and the air particles you've breathed include at least 2 atoms that were breathed by Julius Caesar.
turns the question round on them too.
Posted by: offpat at February 10, 2005 3:33 PM
That's the nerdiest answer to that question I've ever heard.
If I say that, I might as well just wear my "Captain Kirk" T-shirt to the thing.
Posted by: LYT at February 10, 2005 3:46 PM
I'd say you're from the south--where was it? South Carolina? Wherever you went to high school. And add "I moved to California to attend USC." That's a good thing--well-educated (at least, potentially-well-educated). Some women might assume that being from the south = being a redneck, but there's also the 'southern gentleman' mythos that could work in your favor.
As for "where's your family", keep it short & sweet: "Mom's in UK (or wherever she is), dad's in NC." That's honest without giving too many details and boring yourself. All the detail stuff gives you fodder for later dates.
Better luck next time.
Posted by: Peggy C at February 10, 2005 11:31 PM
It's their loss.
Posted by: M at February 11, 2005 3:21 AM
Luke
I didn't mean tht you say the whole speil
just the "everywhere.." bit
if they push back you can say - LA!
how about you?".
- that bizarre change of line trick worked in a bar - made a guy I know seem like an intriguing liar,
we thought the woman had walked off - all offended and quiet
later saw them getting into his car together...
Posted by: offpat at February 11, 2005 6:15 PM
wear the kirk shirt. speed dating sounds like a joke anyways.
no wonder you liked all the girls; if they kept the conversation on you all the time, you never had the chance to get to know any of them.
Posted by: sean (connery) at February 12, 2005 4:33 PM
"Better to have sped at some cost
Than to park up and think about it..."
Speaking as a balding loser, I've been too much of a coward-so far-
to climb on that whacky fairground ride.
Wonder if many voted Bush and loved Mel Gibson's "What women want" ?
Posted by: Tony Graham at February 13, 2005 9:07 AM