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April 20, 2003
A Write Bastard
Sean has written a pretty good essay on the process of creative writing. For all those folks who ask me what it's like to be a creative writer -- check it out for enlightenment.
As strange as it may seem, I don't actually enjoy the process of writing much. It's just what I do, and I don't mean for a living; I mean it's one more bodily function. I love coming up with the ideas, but actually having to nail them down on paper or LCD screen can be a bitch and a half.
The exception, however, is stuff like this journal. Random thoughts that don't have to follow any rules or structure. The most pain-in-the ass entries to write here are the ones describing a previous day in detail; the easiest are simply ones that express my feeling at the exact moment of writing. Often that's just pure unfiltered thought process you're seeing. Like now.
Posted by LYT at 7:09 PM | Comments (0)
April 18, 2003
Spike Diddley
A coupla years ago, about the same time it picked up WWE rasslin' shows, The Nashville Network changed its name to The National Network. Apparently they were under the impression that pro-wrestling somehow made them look less redneck, an illusion any woman in America would be happy to dispel. Gradually, they've moved away from rodeo, monster trucks, and country music (CMT - Country Music Television outdoes them on that score anyhow) to a network based around reruns of Star Trek and CSI, along with the occasional uncut movie (a rarity on basic cable).
In a few days, they're changing their name again, to...
Spike TV
The reason? They're trying to rebrand the network as the first "Male" cable channel. Forget the fact that they wouldn't actually be the first -- I seem to recall HBO or Showtime having an all-action movie network at one point. Does this mean "spike" is a euphemism for "dick"? Because "spike" is also a volleyball term, and that isn't exactly the most manly sport in the world.
"Crash TV" was taken -- that's the term coined by Vince Russo to describe contemporary pro-wrestling storylines that mix soap opera content with action. "Spike TV" sounds like a stupid attempt to coin a hip term without actually knowing what it means.
More of the same?
If you read this blog regularly, stands to reason you must like the idea of a movie critic who speaks out on political issues. I'm not the only one.
Here's ROGER EBERT on current politics. It's a transcription, so don't blame him for the misspelling of Larenz Tate's name.
And here's a recent speech by Tim Robbins that's also pretty kickass. If you haven't already, rent Robbins' movie Bob Roberts, which is just about the best critique of contemporary politics that Hollywood has ever offered. The DVD even includes an alternate commentary track of Alex Cockburn and Jeffrey St. Clair discussing Iran-Contra ( a political scandal from the Reagan era, for those who don't remember).
Posted by LYT at 7:07 PM | Comments (0)
April 15, 2003
Taxing, my patience
Today is income tax deadline day, so don't forget. Me, I filed by phone. TeleFile is a genius invention. No paperwork at all, you just punch in a bunch of numbers, and I already received my state refund check for... $7. Which is an improvement -- usually I have to pay the state. Cali taxes are something like the fourth-highest in the nation, which seems logical, since we're the most populous state -- I'm surprised we're not #1 in taxes.
Ironic thing is, if I get any kind of significant raise, I won't be able to TeleFile any more. The maximum allowable salary for it is only a couple hundred per year more than I make. As to how you TeleFile -- they have to send you a form. I don't know how to apply if they don't.
Anyway, if you're getting a refund, buy the "Spirited Away" DVD, which comes out today.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but...
We invaded Iraq because Saddam didn't go into exile, as we forcefully suggested.
Now that he probably has gone into exile, we're mad and want to go to war on the country he may have gone to, Syria.
A real mind-bender, this one. Unless you're cynical enough to believe that the administration's just looking for a pretext to start another war...
Meanwhile, there is at least one silver lining to the war -- North Korea's backing down and has agreed to multilateral talks. Every once in a while, it can actually be beneficial to have a president who scares the shit out of the world. Gotta give the devil his due.
It is, however, heartbreaking to read about the looting and trashing of the Baghdad museum. Whatever else was wrong with Iraq, its preservation of artifacts from the dawn of recorded human history was a good thing. Our bombs spared it, but our forces couldn't be bothered to protect it. They were busy securing the oil wells. Now, admittedly, you can't cause mass air pollution as easily by torching a museum, but one tank in the entrance would've done the job.
Aged to perfection
I can't get enough of this birthday gift I've bought my grandparents. I want one of my own, but it costs a cool $80 -- coincidentally, one dollar for every year my grandfather's been alive.
What is it? I can't tell you. However unlikely, it's possible that one of them might read this. Suffice it to say that it's something which would've been the stuff of science fiction in my grandfather's youth, and the stuff of secret test laboratories, if that, in my own younger days. Nope, not a weapon of any kind. Also it's very egocentric, in a way. (email me if you want to know what it is, and can offer a reasonable assurance that my grandparents will never find out from you. Otherwise, wait until after the celebration, and I'll spill all.)
Rains eased up right as I left the house for my screening -- the Lord comes through.
Posted by LYT at 7:04 PM | Comments (0)
April 14, 2003
LYT to God: Pick a climate and stick with it!
The rains descend again, and tonight I have to bus it over to Culver City for a screening. Busing back from there is the ordeal -- hourlong waits along a dark stretch of nowhere are not uncommon.
Rob Zombie's House of 1000 Corpses movie finally came out. He's been promising so much for so long that a lot of people feel let down by this one, but I had fun. It's certainly a long way from "the most shocking tale of carnage ever," in fact, it feels like little more than a walkthrough of the Halloween horror maze Zombie designed for Universal studios a few years back. The plot makes no sense at all (with a villain cleverly named "Dr. Satan"), and the movie ends right when it starts getting good. The protagonists are unlikable, also -- the most sympathetic character in the whole film is a potentially homicidal redneck clown in an Uncle Sam suit. It's set in 1970, but the characters throw around terms like "Dude!" and "Badass" in a contemporary fashion, and Rob Zombie's score features music that's definitely not of the period (his much ballyhooed duet with Lionel Richie sounds more fun in theory than it actually is). One more jab -- Zombie's way too fond of Oliver Stone/MTV type camera tricks -- reverting to negative imaging for no reason, unnecessary splitscreen, slo-mo, etc.
But, that said, the movie really is a lot of fun to look at. It's as if a little kid were given a bunch of McFarlane Toys and asked to enact a story with them. Or, alternately, it's as if a demented art school grad student created an elaborate project designed to ultimately kill those who came to look at it, and someone managed to document said project on film.
I for one am fascinated to see what Rob does next. He has potential. This film's nothing great, but it's goofy fun for goreheads. It got laughs in many of the wrong places from the audience I saw it with, so this may be yet another instance where I'm cutting more slack than the majority. Hell, I almost agreed with Kevin Thomas' assessment -- what does that tell you?
LYT picture and mention in the latest 8-Ball!
Not to be confused with Jaye Barnes-Luckett's now-dormant "Ate Ball," which was the first zine to ever publish my film criticism, "8-Ball" is the newsletter of the LA Press Club, now exclusively available on the internet.
You'll need Adobe Acrobat to read it, but that just means a free download if you don't have it. The LYT mention is all the way down the page in Michael Collins' column (Thank you very much, Michael -- your quote will be added to our main page soon), but on the way there's an amazing picture of Amy Alkon standing next to Carrot Top, and yes, they have exactly the same hair. As with the photo of me, it's hair that makes you regret the fact that the issue's not in color.
Enough talk. CLICK HERE to see for yourself. (If the link doesn't work, you need to download Adobe Acrobat.)
No fair!
Dammit, I wanna be free like the Iraqis! Why can't we have anarchy here too?
(I'm kidding. And I feel the need to say that just in case any Ashcroft-types are lurking nearby.)
Posted by LYT at 7:01 PM | Comments (0)
April 11, 2003
Tough Enough
Very interesting episode of Colin Quinn's "Tough Crowd" tonight. Jon Stewart was a guest, finally giving them a token liberal, and he was the funniest guy there, showing up right-winger Nick DiPaolo as a bitter bigot whose humor is often rooted in meanness. He proved that libs don't have to be PC, though, in a segment where he and Colin made below-the-belt jokes about their respective religions.
Interesting also to see Ellen Cleghorne after all these years. For those who forgot, she was the token black woman on Saturday Night Live back when Chris Rock was the token black man. Both she and Rock did free stand-up shows at USC while I was there.
Ellen's gained a few pounds since last I saw her on TV. But she actually looks better this way, I think. I'd do her.
By which of course I mean I'd make mad love to her while respecting her personality. That's what I always mean when I say "do"; Ask any woman I've been with. Both of them.
Posted by LYT at 6:59 PM | Comments (0)
April 10, 2003
Cake and Saddam-y
Like many other people, a majority of whom are probably political opponents, I was happy to see the images of crowds cheering the collapse of Saddam's statue. I don't really want to be a wet blanket on this issue. But there are so many people saying "told you so" that I have to say something.
1. This doesn't mean the war is a success. Our stated reason for war was never about liberating the Iraqi people, at least not until after the war began. It was about finding weapons of mass destruction, and eliminating them. So far, we've done neither.
2. Even accepting that bringing democracy to Iraq was a goal, there still isn't democracy in Iraq. It's currently an occupied anarchy. You don't see any marines stopping the looting, do you?
3. So far, Baghdad seems to be the only city where people have been happy to be "liberated."
4. Afghanistan. The U.S. budget this year initially included NO AID AT ALL to that beacon of hope for regime change, and only added some belatedly when someone noticed that we weren't helping. That country's falling back into anarchy, and the Taliban is being rebuilt. Here's hoping that we don't leave Iraq in the same state (probably not, we need the oil wells to be secure).
5. War protest has never been about the morality of Saddam's defeat. It's been (in my case, anyway) about the arrogant way we pushed our views around, bungled diplomacy when we probably could have gotten more people on our side (we had the Russians, then we actually lost them), had no clear rationale, and tried to link Saddam to al Qaeda with dubious evidence. War protesters aren't Saddam fans; we just fear he'll be replaced by someone equally bad, with a net gain of nothing but a few thousand more dead civilians.
6. Speaking of which, the flag draped over the head of the Saddam statue was allegedly the same one flown over the Pentagon on 9-11. How many times need it be said: THAT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH SADDAM!
OK, soapbox over. Enjoy the images.
Posted by LYT at 6:58 PM | Comments (0)
April 9, 2003
A quote for our times
From the endlessly irritating preview for the movie "Bulletproof Monk" comes a quote, spoken enthusiastically by Seann William Scott, that may be more profound and relevant than intended:
"This is America. We don't have enlightenment here. We have strip clubs, Las Vegas, and HBO! You got it?"
[note: I suspect the trailer may be cleverly editing the film's actual dialogue, but we'll find out soon enough]
[also note: the movie was shot in Vancouver, which may technically be "America," but is located in the nation of Canada, home to neither Las Vegas nor HBO headquarters]
JC comes 2 Play!
I can feel it in the air tonight...Oh, Lord... (literally -- click here)
Check out some of the other stuff on the site, too, including the hockey playing "Moses Comes 2 Rock." What I love about Jesus is he's wearing a cross around his neck. Nothing like a constant reminder of the cruel and painful way in which one is going to be executed.
Words of wisdom from Teddy Roosevelt
Note his use of the word "supported":
"The President is merely the most important among a large number of public
servants. He should be supported or opposed exactly to the degree which is
warranted by his good conduct or bad conduct, his efficiency or inefficiency
in rendering loyal, able, and disinterested service to the Nation as a
whole. Therefore it is absolutely necessary that there should be full
liberty to tell the truth about his acts, and this means that it is exactly
necessary to blame him when he does wrong as to praise him when he does
right. Any other attitude in an American citizen is both base and servile.
To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are
to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and
servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public. "
To support, or not (modified 4-9-03)
"I support the troops but not the war."
How many times have we heard this? I tried saying it myself for a while. But I've since read conservatives saying that it isn't "supporting the troops" to actively oppose what they're doing, or while opposing their commander-in-chief. Do they have a point?
Here, from Dictionary.com, are some definitions of "support.":
To bear the weight of, especially from below.
To hold in position so as to keep from falling, sinking, or slipping.
To be capable of bearing; withstand: “His flaw'd heart... too weak the conflict to support” (Shakespeare).
To keep from weakening or failing; strengthen: The letter supported him in his grief.
To provide for or maintain, by supplying with money or necessities.
To furnish corroborating evidence for: New facts supported her story.
To aid the cause, policy, or interests of: supported her in her election campaign.
To argue in favor of; advocate: supported lower taxes.
To endure; tolerate: “At supper there was such a conflux of company that I could scarcely support the tumult” (Samuel Johnson).
To act in a secondary or subordinate role to (a leading performer).
Based on those definitions, one could say I support the troops. I'm capable of bearing their presence, I don't particularly want them to weaken and fail, and I can endure or tolerate them. I'm also supplying them with money via my taxes.
However, I DO NOT wish to aid their cause. Support, as commonly used in this context, implies an approval of something, and I disapprove of what they're doing, even though they have no choice in the matter. I think any sane person would admit that there's a boundary beyond which they might not "support" a soldier, say if one decided to make a necklace out of human ears. Similarly, I find it hard to proclaim support for an activity I heartily disapprove of.
I suggest a new slogan. "Respect our soldiers." I respect the hell out of anyone who has fought on a battlefield. I cannot offer support to someone who plans to go out and kill people -- I can grit my teeth and bear it, and respect the cases where it took guts and bravery to do it.
But support? That just seems like the wrong word to me.
Respect is something you can earn through your actions. Support is something you can't earn from me if you don't already have it, unless I change, as a result of persuasion from you or anything else.
And while you can persuade me that the world will not mourn Saddam, you cannot persuade me that we have set a good precedent here, or that our actions were motivated by virtue.
Does war protest make soldiers feel bad? Not to be too callous here, but...boo hoo. Cops deal with that kind of thing on a daily basis. If you're not up to the mental stress of possibly having people disagree with you, I fail to see how you can be solid soldier material. But that's just my opinion.
Here's a hypothetical, with regard to supporting the people but not their actions. Could you say, with a straight face, any of the following --
"I support the IRA but not their use of weapons."
"I support Hamas but oppose the Intifada."
"I support the 1939 German army, but not the invasion of Poland or the Final Solution."
"I support the KGB but oppose communism."
"I support John Wayne Gacy but oppose the murder and rape of children."
I suppose it's possible, but requires a contortion or two.
ADDENDUM: I do strongly support soldiers who refuse to obey immoral orders
But most of the soldiers I've heard interviews with are pro-war, and while I don't want them to die, I simply cannot use the word "support" in that context. I do respect them for doing a difficult job, but support to me implies endorsement in a way I'm not comofrtable with.
Posted by LYT at 6:54 PM | Comments (0)
April 8, 2003
Protest songs
In response to an LA Times article today saying there are no good ones now, and implying that there haven't been since "Imagine," I'd like to offer the following from 1990, before the first Gulf War:
Look at your young men fighting
Look at your women crying
Look at your young men dying
The way they've always done before
Look at the hate we're breeding
Look at the fear we're feeding
Look at the lives we're leading
The way we've always done before
My hands are tied
The billions shift from side to side
And the wars go on with brainwashed pride
For the love of God and our human rights
And all these things are swept aside
By bloody hands time can't deny
And are washed away by your genocide
And history hides the lies of our civil wars
D'you wear a black armband
When they shot the man
Who said "Peace could last forever"
And in my first memories
They shot Kennedy
I went numb when I learned to see
So I never fell for Vietnam
We got the wall of D.C. to remind us all
That you can't trust freedom
When it's not in your hands
When everybody's fightin'
For their promised land
And
I don't need your civil war
It feeds the rich while it buries the poor
Your power hungry sellin' soldiers
In a human grocery store
Ain't that fresh
I don't need your civil war
Look at the shoes your filling
Look at the blood we're spilling
Look at the world we're killing
The way we've always done before
Look in the doubt we've wallowed
Look at the leaders we've followed
Look at the lies we've swallowed
And I don't want to hear no more
My hands are tied
For all I've seen has changed my mind
But still the wars go on as the years go by
With no love of God or human rights
'Cause all these dreams are swept aside
By bloody hands of the hypnotized
Who carry the cross of homicide
And history bears the scars of our civil wars
"WE PRACTICE SELECTIVE ANNIHILATION OF MAYORS AND GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS
FOR EXAMPLE TO CREATE A VACUUM
THEN WE FILL THAT VACUUM
AS POPULAR WAR ADVANCES
PEACE IS CLOSER"
I don't need your civil war
It feeds the rich while it buries the poor
Your power hungry sellin' soldiers
In a human grocery store
Ain't that fresh
And I don't need your civil war
I don't need your civil war
I don't need your civil war
Your power hungry sellin' soldiers
In a human grocery store
Ain't that fresh
I don't need your civil war
I don't need one more war
I don't need one more war
What's so civil 'bout war anyway?
-Guns N' Roses, "Civil War"
(probably one of many songs currently banned by Clear Channel Entertainment)
Hands to Heaven
Don't just pray for Dubya; make it official by sending money to the folks at THIS SITE.
Me, I pray that he'll be impeached. But the website for THAT isn't as much fun.
Posted by LYT at 6:53 PM | Comments (0)
April 7, 2003
Wrestling finally takes on the war
Back in the '80s, you could count on pro-wrestling to reflect conservative politics, with its evil Russians and Iranians. That all pretty much came to an end with Gulf War I, though, when the WWF tried to capitalize by having Sgt. Slaughter defect and become an Iraqi sympathizer who pledged allegiance to Saddam Hussein. Vince McMahon hoped for a big payday, but instead got death threats, and WrestleMania VII tickets (featured event: Slaughter vs. patriotic American Hulk Hogan) failed to come close to selling out the LA Coliseum, so the event was moved to the vastly smaller Sports Arena instead.
The gimmick was done by year's end. Slaughter begged the fans for forgiveness, and got it. Since then, there's been very little politicking.
Until now. Tonight on RAW, Christopher Nowinski, whose gimmick is that of arrogant Harvard graduate, delivered a rant against American arrogance and the current war, and proclaimed his right to free speech. He wasn't booed as much as one might think, but he did get pummeled by the "All-American" Scott Steiner. Later in the show, a promo aired for an obnoxious French tag team coming to the WWE.
Reminds me why I used to always root for the bad guys. I'd be willing to hate, say, an evil Chinese Communist wrestler, but I'm gonna have to cheer for Nowinski now. I liked him anyway -- he's the only guy thus far to not win the MTV Tough Enough show, but fight back through the indies and gain a contract on merit afterwards.
Hunting the Hunter
Stephen Hunter of the Washington Post just won the Pulitzer for film criticism. The LA Times was nominated, and I say thank goodness it didn't win -- Messrs Thomas and Turan are not worthy, and Ms. Dargis doesn't seem to have quite found a footing there yet.
As for Mr. Hunter, I'd like to echo the words uttered by a Mr. Dwayne Johnson tonight on the National Network, directed toward a Mr. William Goldberg: Just bring it, bitch!
Stephen, you think you da bomb? AH-AH! Prove it to me. I challenge you to go head to head with the Knifeman, and let the readers decide.
Because I will crush you...LYT-erally!
Update on movies and not having mind blown
Turns out I subconsciously chose the best for last. Double feature of Irreversible and Fulltime Killer; mind officially blown. Let's sum up what I saw this weekend (I'll probably repeat some of this on killradio this week):
FRIDAY
Eddie Griffin: DysFunKtional Family: Basically a stand-up show by Eddie Griffin, interspersed with interviews of his family. I could've done without the interviews, as they interrupt the flow of his stand-up, which is often very funny (one stretch is rather homophobic, though). More laughs overall than the current Jeff Foxworthy and friends flick Blue Collar Comedy Tour, but if any movies epitomize the need to wait for video, it's those in the stand-up comedy genre.
Phone Booth: Hmmm. There's a really good middle stretch to this movie, with Colin Farrell acting his ass off (despite accent that wildly fluctuates between Irish and Brooklyn), and Kiefer Sutherland dryly hilarious as the menacing sniper who sees himself as society's conscience. Problem is, the middle part's too short, and the movie apparently too cheap for the movie company, so they pad it out with CG shots of communications satellites, circuits, people walking with phones, and a voice-over narration that reminds us that people still use phone booths (I'm sure that seems like an alien concept for suits with cels). The CG crap makes a comeback after the story ends, too. I think this would work better as a play, with a better writer on board to flesh out the dialogue. Colin's onscreen references to Britney Spears have become unintentionally hilarious given recent events in his life.
SATURDAY
Levity: From the writer of the Bill & Ted and MIB movies comes...a serious downer about a penitent murderer released from prison with no idea what to do with his life. As in Sling Blade, Billy Bob Thornton plays a fuckup who somehow manages to fix everyone else's life. Morgan Freeman, Kirsten Dunst, and Holly Hunter are among the cast, so obviously this movie will have some watchable elements. But it wants it both ways -- Really Serious Statement combined with a too-neat finale that ties up every plot thread, in such a way that one almost expects this to be the pilot for a Highway to Heaven-style TV show in which Billy Bob travels from town to town puttin' thangs raht.
Stevie: Gotta love the sympathetic pedophile movies. The director of Hoop Dreams goes back to his youth and catches up with his "Little Brother" that he bailed on after leaving college. Li'l bro (not by blood, by Big Brother program), has become one major fuckup with lots of issues, and a trial pending involving the molestation of an 8-year-old. If this movie had been an hour long, shown on MTV, and entitled "True Life: I'm a Child Molester," it'd be perfect, but 2 and a half hours is too long. An hour at least could be chopped out, but the director isn't making this film for an audience -- he's doing it to try and assuage his guilty conscience. Well, good for him.
SUNDAY
Irreversible: Jee-zus. Shot in reverse chronology like Memento, with deliberate motion-sickness-inducing camerawork, this is a tale of rape and savagery, shot in graphic detail. I've avoided it until now for obvious reasons, plus I was told it wasn't even well made (I understand people not liking it, but those who say it isn't well crafted I would have to strongly disagree with). I think it is skillfully constructed, and I think it's well thought, with several themes running throughout, but most prevalent is the one that anything can happen and change your world on a dime, even removing any veneer of civilization you thought you had. The queasy cinematography thankfully doesn't last the whole movie -- only the scenes it's relevant to. I cannot recommend this film to everyone, but it struck one or two personal chords with me. If you've seen it, all I'll say is that I think it's really Pierre's story, and I can relate to the notion of the guy who always has to be the diplomatic guy even when severly hurting or enraged inside, while everyone else gets to be wacky and temperamental, because he's the one whose job it is to hold it all together, and if, god forbid, anyone ever actually found his breaking point, the potential's there for him to become the worst person in the world. No, he's not the rapist.
Don't fear me because I wrote that -- the film's obviously very heightened and extreme compared to real life, but it wouldn't resonate if it didn't take off from a kernel of truth.
Interestingly enough, Irreversible ends (or begins -- don'cha hate that?) in a barrage of strobe lights that could induce seizures, and strobe-light induced seizures are the key character trait of one of the protagonists in...
Fulltime Killer: A Hong Kong flick about two feuding hitmen who want to be the best, one who's efficent and anonymous, and the other (seizure boy) more flamboyant and determined to be front page news. Also they both fall for the same woman, and the flamboyant one wears a Bill Clinton mask. Nothing too deep here, but there are some onteresting narrative digressions, and all you need to know about the climax is that it's set in, ahem, a fireworks factory. Yep. Pretty much pure fun here. And half the dialogue's in English, for those intimidate by foreign languages. Interesting note about the end credits: The credits end before the final song does, and so the song keeps playing over a black screen.
Posted by LYT at 6:50 PM | Comments (0)
April 6, 2003
Haha! Puppies, J.R.! Puppies! Haha!
Wrestling fans get the reference there -- the new ish of Playboy is out, featuring Torrie Wilson. Personally, Torrie wouldn't be my first choice from the WWE to see nude, or even my fourth, but she looks good. I personally liked her better when she first debuted for WCW, in a bizarre sketch that stretched suspension of disbelief by having her, as an anonymous seductress, directly address the camera, which was supposed to be the "eyes" of an unseen WCW personality (turned out it was supposed to be David Flair, I think). It took them about a year to come up with a name for her, and they finally settled on her real one (WCW was not known for creativity back then). Anyway, once she made a full-fledged debut, she started wearing slutty shiny spandex and lots of makeup, and that didn't do it for me as much as the girl next door look. She ain't bad, though, and her fake breasts are significantly less blatant than those of Chyna or Sable (Sable also looks to have had a facelift).
The goodness of that particular Playboy issue doesn't end with Torrie, though. There's an interview with Billy Bob Thornton that makes him sound totally demented, as he expresses his intense fear of komodo dragons, Benjamin Disraeli's hair, and antique furniture. He isn't kidding, either. I do like this one quote from him:
"I don't want to do Shakespeare, for Christ's sake, a bunch of people talking in that fucking language. We don't understand half the shit they're saying and pretend we do. The reason they used to do Shakespeare in the town square was because they didn't have any electricity. Now? Get a fucking guitar out and let's have a rock-and-roll show."
It's refreshing to hear a talented actor say that. I've always been a dissenter when it comes to the sacredness of the bard. I think Shakespeare's a great poet, but as a playwright he took existing stories and padded them out with flowery language into five act stories that take forever to get to the point. But of course that's spoken like a true child of the modern age.
Another article in the Playboy talks about sex clubs for swingers. Now this is something that bothers me, not on ethical or prudish grounds but those of fairness. Couples who want to trade partners for a night can go to these clubs and be GUARANTEED sex if they want it. Yes, couples. People who in theory are having sex with each other as often as at least one of them wants. Where are these clubs for singles? Gay men have the bath houses, I guess, but single straight people have no such venue. Don't say clubs or bars, because those tend to be filled with couples out on dates who AREN'T looking for more.
Here's an idea: any woman out there who isn't attracted to me but wants to get laid, let's pretend to be a couple, go to one of these clubs, and swap. Whaddaya say?
Whose House? Wherehouse!
Wherehouse music stores seem to be scaling back big-time. My local one (Sunset and La Brea -- hurry there if you live nearby!) is closing, and selling off everything, including its sales racks. At first they just offered 20% off on everything, while removing the normal sale items, which is a gyp, because most new stuff there is 20% off anyway. But now everything's 40-60% off, and while the obvious hot items are gone, there are still some very good scores to be had. I dropped around $100 on the following:
CDs
Blake Babies -- Sunburn (Used), $4.79
The Breeders -- Title TK, $10.79
Blake Babies -- God Bless the Blake Babies (Used), $4.79
System of a Down, Steal This Album!, $10.79
Pearl Jam, Riot Act, $9.59
Gorillaz -- Gorillaz (with bonus video), $10.79
[note: System, PJ, and Damon Albarn of Gorillaz all soundly anti-Bush; I'm doing my part to fight the boycotts, if in a cheap-ass fashion!]
PS2 Games
Grand Theft Auto 3 (used), $21.19
Legends of Wrestling II (used), $19.20
This in addition to scoring the MIIB DVD across the street for $7.99, and The Ring for $12.99
The only Wherehouse I still know of is by the Beverly Center, but I wouldn't be surprised if it closes too. The one in Westwood did. I think Best Buy is hurting them with its loss-leader prices.
I've seen 4 movies so far this weekend -- plan on 2 more today. None has blown my mind or come close.
Bribery for Jesus
Mainstream Christians need to start disowning crass blackmailers like THIS GUY
[Promise I'll actually start writing original content again soon!]
Posted by LYT at 6:47 PM | Comments (0)
April 4, 2003
Donald Dork
Even the prince of darkness can have a playful side. CLICK HERE for hilarity.
Back to that unpleasantness in the Gulf
Spinsanity has been doing a great job of separating fact from fiction in the coverage.
Meanwhile, Pat Robertson is organizing something called Operation Prayer Shield, in which 700 Club viewers ask God to place an invisible force field of protection around our soldiers. But I thought the Almighty doesn't do that any more because He's so mad at the abortionists and the ACLU?
Posted by LYT at 6:44 PM | Comments (0)
April 3, 2003
Weather or not
We had three days of glorious, summer-like temperatures. Now it's cold again. Yesterday, I actually wore three layers of clothing. I wish mother nature would get her act together -- time for the cold stuff to STOP. I didn't move to California for chilly winds.
If you're reading this blog, chances are you're the sort of person who'll really enjoy Spun, a new drug movie I just saw yesterday. If you ever lived at a place called Gladville, I KNOW you'll dig it. It's a bit like The Salton Sea without the film noir elements, just speed addiction cranked to 11. The score is by Billy Corgan. The movie had its R-rating REVOKED by the MPAA. Thus it's unrated, and may have trouble finding an audience, but it's worth it to seek it out. Given the rating, no awards seem likely for it, but Mickey Rourke as The Cook is Oscar-worthy, and I'm saying that with a straight face.
Meanwhile, Head of State was tops at the box office. A victory for absurdist humor is always good.
Wait, aren't we supposed to be fighting religious nuts?
Bin Laden is crazy, but only a uniquely American combination of deranged religion and capitalism could come up with THIS.
I'm very tempted to buy it.
And now, a sobering dose of reality
Read Matt Welch's description of the forthcoming PATRIOT II act. Matt's reasonably progressive, but hardly a bleeding heart. This new act should scare everyone.
On a tangent, what I don't get is that the 2nd Amendment freaks who say we need guns to protect against a possible fascist government are exactly the people who go along with the fascist government and threaten to shoot anyone who doesn't.
"Fascist" is usually excessive hyperbole when used to describe Republicans. But read Welch's piece, and tell me it doesn't apply here.
Posted by LYT at 6:09 PM | Comments (0)
April 2, 2003
Stupid controversy of the week
I held off on writing about this yesterday in case it was an April Fool. It isn't.
First, check out THIS POSTER for the movie "What a Girl Wants."
Now, word comes that it's being digitally altered, because the notion that Amanda Bynes is flashing a peace sign is considered too controversial in these times.
Jesus.
Not that the poster was a great idea in the first place, because it's about an American girl going to England, and, uh, that finger gesture means something a little different there, especially to the guard who's standing right behind her.
Strangely growing on me
That bucktooth puppet on Crank Yankers whose schtick consists solely of yelling "Yaaay!" over and over. Bugged the living shit out of me the first time I heard it, but somehow it works now. I think it's like Beavis and Butt-Head's headbanging: such a pure expression of spontaneous joy that it's hard to deny, and even possible to envy.
In memory of Michael Jeter
You may not think you know him, but he's been almost as ubiquitous a character actor as John C. Reilly. CLICK HERE for a filmography. I didn't even know he had HIV, but apprently he's had it for a while, and it's assumed that AIDS brought him down. I also didn't know he was on Sesame Street as a regular. He looked like an actual clown without even trying, and he looked very old for a guy in his 50s in "Welcome to Collinwood." He was never a leading man, and he knew it, but he will be missed.
Posted by LYT at 12:24 PM | Comments (0)
April 1, 2003
This is just scary, but you knew it was coming...
from the wires...
BEST FILM EVER TO GET EVEN BETTER
“Kane” to re-bow in theaters with longer, remastered “Best Version Ever Made.”
HOLLYWOOD, CA – In the wake of such money-making and critically hailed new releases as “The Exorcist: The Version You’ve Never Seen,” “Star Wars: Special Edition, “ “Apocalypse Now Redux” and the longer versions of "Cinema Paradiso" and “Amadeus,” it should come as little surprise that “Citizen Kane,” long hailed by critics as perhaps the greatest movie of all time, is getting a makeover in a brand-new definitive version. Entitled “Citizen Kane: The Best Version Ever Made,” this new “Kane” will restore several deleted scenes, add newly-created footage, and boast a remastered sound mix in Dolby Digital 5.1.
“Orson [Welles] may be dead, but I know this is what he’d want” said director Henry Jaglom, who will be supervising the new project. “I was good friends with him before he died, you know. That’s how come I’m so brilliant.”
One of the key scenes restored will be one in which Charles Foster Kane (Orson Welles) stumbles upon an underground meeting of the American Communist Party. This scene, initially deleted for political reasons, is as relevant now as it was then, according to Jaglom. “The movie’s really about bringing down oppressive capitalists, which wasn’t always entirely clear in the original version,” he says. “But Orson’s ghost told me that he wanted the scene put back in, since many people are too dumb to ‘get it’ nowadays.”
At least one film critic is enthused by the project. “Moriarty,” a regular poster at the website Ain’t It Cool News, recently filed a report saying “Wait until you check this one out, folks…I’ve got a good feeling about it.” Webmaster Harry Knowles, meanwhile, who has seen some of the remastered footage at a special advance tour provided to him free of charge by the studio, posted his own “review,” saying “Hi folks, Harry here, and ya know…this coulda been bad… but it wasn’t…I liked it…It’s not for purists who bitch and moan about every little thing, but screw them.” Though he added that he would have preferred an all-out remake of “Kane,” to be directed by “Lord of the Rings” helmer Peter Jackson and starring Bruce Campbell and Edward Norton, he still insists “this ‘Kane’ will rock your world…it isn’t a big steaming turd.”
George Lucas, whose Industrial Light and Magic helped with the restoration, agrees. “When you see the new footage of [Jaglom’s wife] Victoria Foyt that we digitally inserted into the film, you’ll wonder how you could have envisioned it any other way.” But Lucas was quick to add “This isn’t about technology. If adding Victoria into the film didn’t serve the story, we wouldn’t have done it. Personally, I think he should have added a clumsy black man as well. Those Negroes are comical.”
Francis Ford Coppola, who recently restored almost an hour of footage into “Apocalypse Now,” is more wary. “I think directors have the right to revisit their creations,” said the rotund has-been, “But changing the negative and destroying all previous copies after the director has died…I just don’t know.” When confronted with the fact that Coppola himself had gone back and changed his own negative, he simply added “That’s different!” and slammed the door.
But Jaglom insists he’s only following the wishes of the film’s original auteur. “I would never simply drop Orson’s name for purely financial or self-promotional reasons,” he said, while wearing that stupid little black hat he wears to make himself look eccentric. “Orson’s spirit is in me, and I know he would have wanted this. The film didn’t even make any money the first time, for God’s sake. Now everyone can enjoy it on the big screen again, and hopefully we’ll reap some financial success from it to fund four more movies with Victoria in them.”
Posted by LYT at 12:18 PM | Comments (0)