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June 28, 2003
Beck and Cool
My colleague GW often seems to go to big concerts on a whim, somehow able to find tickets or people who have them at the last minute. This week, it was my turn. Webmaster Matt (good rap name, that, if he ever goes in that direction) scored free Beck tickets. Saying yes was a no-brainer.
The show was set for 7, but Matt had no interest in opening acts the Black Keys (not familiar with them myself; hipper readers, tell me if I should be) and Dashboard Confessional (know the name, not that familiar with the tunes). Good thing too, because the traffic was slow, and Matt had sucked down most of a bottle of Diet Coke purchased at a gas station, with the delectable carbonated beverage rather quickly making the rounds toward the nether regions. This necessitated a stop at some random mall somewhere.
Bless Matt's bladder for that, because I scored some really cool toys. The Kay-Bee was mostly picked clean, but just as I thought the trip would be fruitless, I scored the last Warrior Lilith figure -- R-rated version sans painted-on bra -- for $10.
The Electronics Boutique was one of the newer ones which has phased out toys, but fortunately Gamestop had plenty, and at competitive prices too. Here was found the ALIEN QUEEN PLAYSET and the MATRIX CHATEAU DIORAMA. Man, these things are huge! The Queen, when standing fully upright, is about a foot tall. I'd have liked more articulation on her neck, so she could stand upright and lunge jaws downward, but I buy these mostly for display anyway, so not that big a deal.
The Matrix diorama is like a giant coldcast bookend, but much cheaper. Basically a statue, but again, cheaper than any similar item. Theoretically, one can even remove the figures and use the base as a playset for other figures -- it could be the X-mansion for Wolverine and co., or even the Playboy mansion with porn-star toys, or the McMahon mansion in a wrestling figure storyline. Consider the old staircase base Clayburn Moore tried to sell for his figures at about $100 a pop -- by contrast, this thing is a sweet deal.
Dinner was at a cheesteak place in the foodcourt. Matt's on the Atkins diet, so meat and cheese and Baco-bits (dubiously quantifiable as meat, I suppose) are his staples. It was getting close to 8 p.m., so we hurried out.
We arrived in our seats at the Verizon Amphitheatre literally right as Beck started, at 8:50 p.m. Dashboard Confessional had no-showed, so he may have started early to compensate.
This marks my third time seeing Beck. First was at Lollapalooza 1995, when he was still doing the slacker goof bit, lotsa improvizing and noise/experimentation. Second time was in 1998 sometime, when I worked at the Sunset 5. Beck's friend was screening a movie, the one from which the soundbites in "Loser" originate -- "I'm a driver, I'm a winner"; "Things are gonna change, I can feel it" -- and Beck played an acoustic show after the screening, in Theater 1. Most of his set then was drawn from my fave CD of his, Stereopathetic Soul Manure, and included "Rowboat," right around the time Johnny Cash, at Rick Rubin's insistence, had recorded a cover version.
This third time, Beck was a rock star, dancing Elvis-like and slickly blending genres, with huge backdrop projections by artist Jeremy Blake. People joked about him being the "New Dylan" way back when, but he may yet live up to that name. And his singing voice is better. In today's fragmented, niche-oriented market, no-one ever will be exactly another Dylan, or Elvis, or Michael Jackson for a long time, but I think within the middle-class whiteboy demographic, Beck could be the next best thing popularity-wise.
The audience? 99% white, mostly looked to be around my age, all apparently shop at the same thrift stores or ersatz mall-based thrift stores. Not my style -- I prefer to look like a rock star than a grunge star -- but it's totally Matt's scene. Beck's merchandise likewise looks like thrift store stuff, so why pay $20 for it?
One girl two seats down kept smoking, and the prevailing winds gave me a heavy dose of it, which sucked, but Matt put my complaints in perspective, having recently seen the Strokes play a club in Nashville where everyone chain-smoked -- it was too much for even him, a big-time nicotine addict. I still don't get why hipsters who think they're smarter than everyone smoke, though. Drinking I get, and I indulge in, but imbibing liquids through the mouth is a natural instinct. Wrapping dried leaves in paper, burning them, and sucking in the fumes -- what inspires anyone to do that? You have to force yourself to like it, and by then you're hooked. And the buzz can't be that great, or there'd be laws against driving while smoking.
Smoking bans. One more reason to love Cali.
A good night out, all told -- as good friends as Matt and I have been, I think we may be even better ones for it. Got my Lollapalooza tickets this morning, and I'll be really interested to see how that scene has changed since its heyday (the big question -- Lollapalooza as an event was unabashedly Left-leaning politically in its original incarnation. Is it suicidal to be that way now? Will they even try? Based on some of the organizations invited, like Axis of Justice, they probably will try. Wonder if today's kids will dig that. Hope so).
More people dragged kicking and screaming into the 21st century
I'm a day or so late on this, but wanted to take the time to celebrate the final elimination of archaic anti-sodomy laws that still existed in some parts of the U.S. (I'm sure there are still more archaic laws that could stand a striking down, such as the "common scold" law, which I heard about from a colleague, still on the books in some states, which allows for argumentative women to be publicly dunked in cold water).
I am a little shocked at how brazenly partisan some people can make an issue that should be one of fundamental liberty. Republican Supreme Court appointee Antonin Scalia accused his colleagues of having "largely signed on to the homosexual agenda, by which I mean the agenda promoted by some homosexual activists aimed at eliminating the moral opprobrium that has traditionally attached to homosexual conduct." Then he claims he has nothing against homosexuals. Just their right to fuck, apparently. He might as well have just grinned, pointed his finger, and exclaimed "You're fags! Heeh heeh heeh!"
Judge Scalia may not be aware that by the most traditional religious definitions, if he has ever had sex for reasons other than procreation, he too is guilty of "sodomy."
As for this paving the way to gay marriage, I think some people are mixing things up. Marriage, as the U.S. government recognizes it, is a civil institution, not necessarily a religious one. If the government wants to make any kind of civil marriage legal, your church is still free to oppose it and not perform any such ceremonies.
I guess I still don't get why people are mad that someone, somewhere is having gay sex. Like Louis C.K. says, it's one thing if they do it on your front lawn -- makes it difficult to mow. But in their own homes? Say, I don't like that you smoke in your own home, but I'm sure you'd rather I not pass laws against it, even if your scriptures do condemn narcotics of any kind.
Proselytizing is supposed to make sure people know about the "Good News," not forcing them to accept it regardless of whether they find it meaningful or not. Think gay people don't know that parts of the Scriptures condemn homosexuality? Trust me, they know. You don't have to remind them, all day every day.
Incidentally, the proscription of death to gays in Leviticus is followed by one proscribing death to anyone who picks up sticks on the Sabbath. Where's the outrage over stick picker-uppers? (huh-huh!)
I'm amazed at the conservative gays who still think the political right has their best interests at heart. Or, come to think of it, those who claim that right-wingers are actually more "tolerant" due to their embrace of those who spout homophobic nonsense.
Posted by LYT at 9:31 PM | Comments (0)
June 27, 2003
Green around the gills
Interesting the new marketing tactic Universal's taking with the Hulk. New TV spots claim "Everyone's talking about it. Everyone's arguing about it." Like there's some real controversial subject matter in there. It's not that Universal's telling untruths, exactly, but I'll wager that most of the "arguing" goes something like this:
"Man, that Hulk movie sucked, yo."
"No way! It was cool! You're just stupid."
"I'm not stupid, the movie was stupid."
"You just didn't get it.
"Nothing there to get!"
"I'm gonna kill you!"
This isn't much different from every other movie, frankly. Except if you go to a major multiplex, you'll actually hear conversations like this during the movie rather than afterward.
In other Green stuff, I've been watching Tom Green's new talk show. I've always liked Tom; one reader once said I was a moron and should not be writing professionally because I said Tom was occasionally brilliant. I stand by that. The very first time I saw him on TV, he snuck one of his own paintings into an art gallery, then went back the next day and casually defaced it while old ladies watched. That was genius.
I think the new show should not be an hour long. The ersatz monologue actually made Tom look uncomfortable on TV, which is a big deal for a guy who televised his cancer surgery. On the Tuesday show, though, things picked up, as all the guests seemed to know each other, and joked around in obscene fashion -- well, what do you expect when you put Tom, Andy Dick, and Marilyn Manson together? Andy wrestled with sidekick Glen Humplik (good to see Glen back -- Freddy Got Fingered was all the more lacking for his absence), and the next night, we learned that Andy broke Glen's wrist. He offered to lend Glen his ex-girlfriend for a week as penance.
Then last night, Tom had his parents on. This was great TV. Like the best wrestling angles, it was impossible to tell how much of the interview was planned and how much was real familial issues coming to the fore spontaneously. And I don't know many people who would put Ahmet Zappa on the air, but that guy's funny. I love that they can say whatever they want, albeit bleeped -- it's not like any viewer doesn't know what the real words are.
At times, Tom's a bit too similar to Letterman -- both take immense joy from repeating things over and over again, past unfunny and back to funny again, then once again into unfunny, and on rare occasions into funny a third time.
Anyway, I'm watching. And I guess I'm part of the target demographic. I haven't regularly watched an MTV show since Tough Enough (which may get a new season on TNN, I'm told -- can't wait to see what it'll look like without MTV insisting on photogenic wrestlers).
Posted by LYT at 9:29 PM | Comments (0)
June 26, 2003
You just never know
All the things I've done in my life, from being a published poet at age 10 to selling a screenplay to Roger Corman, and I get the most media notice just for showing up at a party?
To quote Shatner in Airplane II, "I guess irony can be pretty ironic sometimes."
In addition to Messrs. Ford and Simberg, and Mme Richard, linked in some of the posts below, I get mentioned on mattwelch.com (Matt kindly salutes my dress sense, even as Ford writes that dyed hair is for gays and women only) and laexaminer.com. Maybe more that I don't know about.
Those of you who're regulars on the message board, now is your time to shine. Take some actual advantage of the "Announcements" area to promote yourselves.
"A big hard-drinking social anarchist"
Such is Luke Ford's description of me. I'll go for that. Maybe I'll even have to add it to the main page.
Not sure if he means my politics or lack of decorum.
The thing about getting readers is, they correct you sometimes
If you don't wanna scroll way down to see yet another thing I apprently mischaraterized, here's the short version: the "astronomy guy" at the party is actually a "space policy" guy by the name of Rand Simberg. Here's his take, which is likely to be more accurate than mine if I'm correct in assessing that he was more sober:
"I should add that I talked for a little while to Luke Thompson, who utterly misunderstood me and thought that I was interested in astronomy. I'm not, any more than in any other natural science. I'm a space policy guy, trying to figure out how to get you (and me) up there. Stars are not that fascinating to me, frankly.
And actually, I didn't need rescuing from Luke Ford--I like debating religion and teleology, as long as my debater does as well."
One thing I am curious about, though -- why is it that many of the blog folk don't like to use my middle initial when mentioning me? It's "Y." Y? 'Cuz I rawk!
Ch-ch-changes
I've noticed some other results of this "new and improved" blogger. One is that anyone, if they so desire, may link to individual posts on the blog now. You can do that by clicking on the time of posting (previously, clicking on these led nowhere), then copying the link that appears in your browser window. Emmanuelle Richard figured this out, and has already utilized this feature.
That makes two confirmed readers of this blog (Her and Luke Ford). Double-yay!
Another "new feature" is that the archives for June appear to be temporarily inaccessible. I can get to them, but you can't. Tech Guy is working on the problem.
Those of you new to this site but used to other blogs, please note that blogger DOES NOT let you post responses under individual blog posts. You may certainly talk back and offer conflicting opinions, but you have to do so on the message board, linked at the top of this page. It'll ask that you please log in or register, but you don't have to do either to post a message.
Correction
Luke Ford writes "Hey Luke, I know I've mentioned you before in my reports..."
The important thing to note here is that this proves at least one person reads my site. Yay!
New; improved?
This is the "new and improved" blog. What that means to me is that the screen where I enter this stuff looks different. What does it mean to you? I don't know yet.
OK, just checked. Online journal page on my site looks exactly the same.
Minor triumph tonight: went to one of the press club drink-a-thon/promote-a-book parties, and Luke Ford actually mentioned my attendance on his site. First time, I think.
Met Tony Pierce for the first time. He seemed genuinely excited to meet me, until it became clear that he thought I wrote for laobserved.com. As soon as I clarified that my site is actually lytrules.com, he seemed to lose interest, and split.
I decided to let the bartender make up drinks for me. So, in order, I had concoctions dubbed neo-nympho (blue curacao, cream, and other stuff), lava lamp (vodkas and fruit juices), creamy pussy (pina colada type thing) and mojito (bartenders run out of imagination eventually). Then the bartender CUT ME OFF! This has never happened to me before. Those four drinks were consumed over the course of four hours, people. Alone among the drinkers I know, I will cut myself off when I know I've reached a limit. That limit was not reached. Many thanks to Amy Alkon for buying me a drink afterwards. And the bartender was German! You'd think he'd know an actual drunk from a drinker with a high tolerance. I gave Amy a set of magnets from the Legally Blonde sequel, which allow you to play dress up doll with Reese Witherspoon's little dog. Amy also has a little dog she dresses in clothes, so this suits her perfectly.
It's possible my T-shirt is what got me cut off. It was a WWE Steve Austin shirt bearing the phrase "Alcohol fueled whoopass machine." I got a lot of positive feedback on it, mostly from homeless people.
Matt Welch tripped at one point and nearly knocked me into a cactus. But I forgave him because he was wearing an LYT-shirt, albeit tied around his neck in a yuppie kinda way. Matt now owes me a link.
Hollywood entertainment writer Tiffany Stone was in the house, as usual fun to talk to and, shall we say, easy on the eyes as well. Naturally, taken. My one and only ex was in the house as well, looking fantastic. No single ladies as far as I could tell, but definitely more than one lonely guy.
Met some other folks as well whose names I will endeavor to remember at some point, including some guy who blogs about astronomy, and thinks most sci-fi isn't accurate enough -- I rescued him from a God debate with Ford; don't think the guy quite realized what he'd be getting into. I think some links are due to be traded.
[Updated: That man above was Rand Simberg, and I think I done him wrong. Here's Rand: "I should add that I talked for a little while to Luke Thompson, who utterly misunderstood me and thought that I was interested in astronomy. I'm not, any more than in any other natural science. I'm a space policy guy, trying to figure out how to get you (and me) up there. Stars are not that fascinating to me, frankly.
And actually, I didn't need rescuing from Luke Ford--I like debating religion and teleology, as long as my debater does as well."
Welch is clearly the man of the hour, with more people gathered around him than anyone else.
Jill Stewart's man Norm was finally satisfied now that I've changed from the hair colors he hates to a natural hue. Little does he know my follicular master plan...
Posted by LYT at 9:26 PM | Comments (0)
June 24, 2003
I've always said smokers are stupid. Here's more proof.
From the American Journal of Public Health:
Cigarette smokers more likely to suffer memory loss in middle age
Smoking more than 20 cigarettes a day can cause memory loss and other cognitive problems in middle age, according to a study of almost 2,000 British adults. The study participants were tested on verbal memory, speed and concentration at age 43 and again at age 53. Researchers found that heavy smokers suffered the largest decline in these cognitive functions. All smokers were susceptible to memory loss regardless of sex, race or socioeconomic status. And while heavy smokers often die younger than non-smokers from such illnesses as cancer and heart disease, those who do survive into old age are more likely to suffer from memory loss and dementia, or what the study's authors called "clinically significant cognitive decline."
[From: "Cigarette Smoking and Cognitive Decline in Midlife: Evidence From a Prospective Birth Cohort Study." Contact: Marcus Richards, PhD, MRC, Department of Epidemiology and Public Health, University College London, m.richards@ucl.ac.uk.]
Posted by LYT at 9:25 PM | Comments (0)
June 22, 2003
Another great mystery cleared up...
For about a year now, wrestling fans have been wondering why Brock Lesnar's finishing move is called the F-5. WWE never bothered to explain until now: F-5 is the technical designation for the most powerful type of tornado.
I guess they figured rural fans would automatically know that.
Pressing Issues
I didn't have time to go off on the press club awards when the nominations were announced, so since they were given last night, allow me to go off on them now. A clue to where the judges' mindset was was that they called L.A. Times columnist Steve Lopez "almost too cynical." This before giving him journalist of the year. Geez, if Lopez is too cynical, New Times has no hope. And indeed, the New Times crew managed only some honorable mentions (for the very worthy Jack Cheevers, Susan Goldsmith, Tony Ortega, and Jill Stewart -- sadly none for Marnye, though the evening was dedicated to her). Erin "I'm black, and I'm a woman, and it's tough being black and a woman" Aubrey-Kaplan placed higher than Jill for columnist of the year, which is a travesty -- did anyone even read that column Erin wrote about going on a cruise and being shocked, just shocked, that there were pro-war Republicans on board?
For Erin's next column, she goes to a tractor pull and is surprised to find rednecks there. Just kidding.
Taking top prize for entertainment reviews was Ella "The Boring Brit" Taylor of the LA Weekly, who has never once written anything I consider memorable. Even Kevin Thomas has his "bravura picture" catchphrase. Affirmative action is really big in film criticism circles right now, which might be appropriate on some level, as the field is filled with complacent old white guys. The problem is most people don't use affirmative action properly. What it should mean is that if you have two equally or similalrly qualified people, and one is black, you hire the black guy, or the woman, or whoever's more different than what you already have. What it actually ends up meaning is some boring woman with a British accent shows up, and the lazy employer says "Wow, that's different. You're hired."
I doubt Elvis Mitchell would have his job at the NYT if he weren't black, named Elvis, and covered in dreadlocks. I'm in no place to make fun of his individuality, but before you cry hypocrisy, note that I changed my look to the abnormality it is now AFTER being hired at New Times, settling in, and realizing that if Marnye could wear whatever she wanted, I probably could too. Oh, wait; I just remembered Elvis is also pretentious, which probably helped -- the guy drops references to the Medici family and so forth in his reviews to prove he's well read. He also says things like "The Dancer Upstairs resonates with the emotional intelligence of Graham Greene" when what he means is "It's a rip-off of The Quiet American."
Anyway, back to the Press Club awards. They got a few things right -- Matt Welch swept the online categories unopposed, and he deserves to. Veteran Times columnist Al Martinez broke up the monotony with a funny speech. Most every award for TV and radio, when they played a clip it sounded like Kent Brockman on The Simpsons.
(Think I'm being bitchy? You should've heard Amy Alkon's commentary, which made up for the evening.)
The LA Examiner (Riordan's paper) still appears to be going ahead -- they took out a full-page ad in the program congratulating Jill and Matt (also in the program: that photo of me and Marnye currently on this site's front page -- if you came here via a link to either the main page or the blog directly, type in www.lytrules.com to see it). I didn't see anyone from Citybeat, unless you count folks who've just written individual pieces for them, like Michael Collins (another one of the very few worthy winners) and Cathy Seipp. If I were one of the top brass at Citybeat, I'd have paid for a presence at the show, even though the paper's by definition too new to be up for anything. There's a reason I go to these things even when not nominated -- you have to make people aware of you.
In one of the strangest celebrity meetings I've ever had, I had a long conversation with an elderly lady named Edith, who, it turns out, was the nurse in that famous WWII "kiss" photo with the sailor. She said she never made any money off it, but got immeasurable rewards in terms of meeting people because of it.
Finally got to meet Ken Layne -- he's about as tall as I am, and looks like a younger version of my uncle Kip.
Gift bags this year included a DVD of The Pianist, which is a much better choice than last year's "A Beuatiful Mind." I'd like to thank Miramax for not putting out the Chicago DVD yet, otherwise I'm sure it would've been included, and I'd much rather have Mr. Polanski's flick.
It was sad not to have the old NTLA crew to drink with afterwards, but the future Examiner crew seem to be ready to fill the drinking void, so I went with them (Welch, Layne, Alkon, Seipp, and Emmanuelle Richard) to a party at Heather Havrilesky's place. I'd never met her before, but apparently her blog is called tinylittlepenis.com. She seems very much together -- a TV critic with Jennifer Garner looks, a reformed bad-boy fiancee, and remarkably coherent speech given the copious amounts of margaritas flowing.
Matt Welch has a voice that strangely resembles my friend Ben Boyer's even though they look nothing alike. I don't know what it is -- Harry Knowles also sounds like Ben, though he has a Texan accent. But Harry also talks like Ben, about similar things. And no, Harry wasn't there last night, I just somehow got on this tangent because of Ben Boyer. That happens often.
I need to add more links -- every person mentioned in this post has a website, I think. Am hoping they'll reciprocate, of course.
Posted by LYT at 9:22 PM | Comments (0)
June 21, 2003
The Bare Trap
Queen Latifah, in the current issue of Entertainment Weekly: "Anytime someone told me I had to take my clothes off to do something, that's bulls---. Maybe I'll show a little cleavage, but I'm not getting naked..."
Hmm. So this happened often?
Serious question here: Why is it that virtually every fat woman (not overweight, mind you, but fat) I've ever known somehow thinks that every male on the planet sees them as a sex object?
To put it another way: How many guys do you know who would go and see a movie because they heard Queen Latifah gets naked in it? For perspective, how many folks do you know that saw About Schmidt and didn't emerge with some sort of mean-spirited comment about Kathy Bates' nude scene?
Having lost 150 pounds as a result of a stomach stapling, Carnie Wilson will appear in Playboy. Think that issue would be financially viable if she had done it prior to the operation?
Guys don't think this way. Of the friends I have who could be considered fat (hell, my mother thinks I'm fat -- you can check out the shirtless pics on this site and judge for yourself), a majority don't even try to enter the dating scene, because they feel like they have to lose weight first. Harry Knowles makes jokes about how no-one will ever want to see him naked.
Latifah says "I look like real people." True, but real people in this country, by a margin of just over 50%, are overweight. To people in any other country, you look really fat.
I'm happy for her that she has no self-esteem issues. But might it be better to maintain a healthy body fat percentage than a healthy ego?
Posted by LYT at 9:21 PM | Comments (0)
June 19, 2003
Green Machines
If you'd like to know more about the most probable Green Party candidate for president in 2004 (no, it's not Nader), CLICK HERE.
Also there's some movie out tomorrow about a big angry green guy, and it isn't Nader either (nice segue, huh?). I saw it last night, and suppose I should post my thoughts.
First of all, does the Hulk look fake? You have to define fake. He's a 15-foot tall green guy in purple pants, and doesn't look like anything that would occur in reality. But does he look like a solid object interacting with the environment? Mostly.
If you hated the exposition in the Matrix movies, you'll despise Hulk. About an hour's worth of screen time is devoted to explaining that Bruce Banner has childhood issues, a deranged father, and a propensity to get large and green when he's angry. We know.
Visually, the movie's cool. Ang Lee uses comic book style frame in frame, weird dissolves, morphing scene transitions, and all sorts of neat tricks you won't see in most big summer movies. I think the DP also did Eraserhead and Blue Velvet (read that on some other site), and there are some truly haunting images. Plus a mutant French poodle, which is always fun.
The climactic fight, though, is weak -- confusingly shot and confusing from a narrative point of view as well. And not in a deliberately ambiguous, "good confusing" way.
Also, they don't get into the notion of the Hulk as superhero at all. Even though he does one significant heroic act, the film never makes a point of the fact that despite massive property damages, Hulk's basically a good guy. Ang Lee's Greek tragedy analogy is bullshit -- the Greeks did not invent father-son spats. And the movie isn't all that tragic, really.
All told, an interesting failure.
Posted by LYT at 9:19 PM | Comments (0)
June 18, 2003
Gold-berg! Gold-berg!
No, not wrestler Bill Goldberg, but author Danny Goldberg. This article is a must-read for anyone who wants to understand the thought processes of people like me.
You have to watch a quick ad for Microsoft first if you wanna read the whole thing, but it's worth it. From Gore vs. Nader, to Kurt Cobain vs. Axl Rose, I seldom find articles that I so wholeheartedly agree with in every way. I want Goldberg's book now.
Birthday shout-out
Adam Holden Walker Thompson, born one year ago today.
A year from today, Shrek 2 opens. Dreamworks has already bought a full-page ad in today's L.A. Times.
Fan feedback
This is the best fan letter I've ever received (I assume it's someone who just recently discovered my review of The Eyes of Tammy Faye):
"HI,LUKE.
I am in a tare to find the episodes that were shown in 1996 of jim j and tammy faye massner
called the jim j and tammy faye show. i cannot nivagate to find who owned .bought and have the hopeflly tapes vhs of this short livd seriese.loved your article luke
Tammy Faye forever and she proves it. I say the show would have gon on and succesfully with Tammy Faye an that dull ann abberthny was the closure of a HIT in the process. Tammy love it but ealth reasons caused Her to leave. CAN YOU HELP LUKE,Love your tuff."
Mild Nights
June gloom is lifting, and my noisy next-door nieghbors have moved out. Remains to be seen how loud the new people are, but I think they have a kid, which at least means quiet nights, albeit early mornings.
What is L.A.'s deal with having no cheap restaurants open after 9:30? I guess it's because this isn't a town for pedestrians, and it's assumed that you can just jet across town to find a drive-thru that is open. I often get out of screenings at around 10 looking for food, and there's often none to be had. Especially retarded is Century City, where the theater stays open for 10 pm shows, but the food court does not. Oh, unless you count Johnny Rockets, where they laughed at me and said "We only have sodas and fries." Smug bastards wouldn't even tell me any place else I could go to.
The new Metallica album is reminding me why I liked them again. I was skeptical, but this goes a long way toward erasing at least some of their awful mid-to-late '90s track record (I do love the black album, incidentally, but releasing virtually every song on it as a single and a video was a mistake).
Budweiser has a new pseudo-international beer they're putting out. Tried it tonight, and it basically tastes like Rolling Rock. Rolling Rock is, however, cheaper.
Sorry there are no deeper insights in tonight's post. I'm tired.
Posted by LYT at 9:17 PM | Comments (3)
June 13, 2003
Uncolor Me Bad
The rainbow hair is gone. Temporarily only, but it's weird seing the follicles all black. Makes me look both younger and less crazy. Ironically, it's for a role where I have to be more crazy, so I'm gonna have to really unload emotion-wise.
It won't last long, I don't think. Depends how soon the next project starts up, I suppose. I oughta shave the facial hair for complete lack of recognition, but both roles call for it to stay intact.
Bits N' Pieces
The LA Film Festival is in full swing, which is always fun. I'll keep you guys apprised of some of the good stuff I see there. I could severely kick myself for missing "Thirteen" yesterday -- was too wrapped up in work related stuff, like reviewing Claire Denis' "Vendredi Soir (Friday Night)."
On the other hand, I managed to crash the launch party for the new weekly paper Citybeat. Free sushi was excellent, though it required a long wait because it was all freshly prepared by a chef. Open bar also good, except it ended early and suddenly without notice, so my last Jack and Coke cost a whopping $8. A lot of the old New Times advertising guys are on board, and some good writers/good people like Michael Collins and Andy Klein. I briefly got to meet the editor in chief, who seemed kinda distant and cold, but he could just have been intoxicated (by, uh, the atmosphere...yeah, that's it). Maybe he was mad I got in despite not being invited. The paper itself looks pretty good -- a lot like the old New Times before its last style change. Luke Ford was also there, as he is at every single press-related party that occurs in Los Angeles ever (except the upcoming press club awards -- he doesn't want to pay the hefty admission fee).
And at the LAFF opening night party Wednesday, I got offered an acting role! My lips are contractually sealed on the details, but it shoots very soon. There are at least two other film projects I'm involved with right now in on- and off-camera roles, so stay tuned -- you may be able to see a whole lot of me if everything comes to fruition.
Moviegoing dilemma tonight: I have to get up early tomorrow, but there are two apparently great flicks showing at midnight tonight. Takashi Miike's "Ichi the Killer," and Eli Roth's "Cabin Fever." What to do? Ichi also plays tomorrow, so I could see it then if I'm not exhausted.
Word to Ya (grand)Mother
Courtesy of offpat, here's a link to video of me delivering my toast at the grandparents' birthday celebration in England
http://www.costar-cwmbran.co.uk/video/video/
Feedback
A friend emails me about lapdance-banning Dennis Zine:
"I got to know Dennis before he ran for city council. I have met few more salacious middle-aged dudes. He was banging a chick in her 20s, and practically salivated telling me about how he was taking her out on weekend trips on his Harley.
I guess old Dennis turns out to be just another typical Republican hypocrite."
Meanwhile, Dr. Thampy, father of one of the kids in the movie Spellbound, writes me: "Your article is a disgrace."
Here's what offended him: "Late in the game, we meet another Indian kid (and St. Louisan), George Thampy. Turns out he was originally supposed to be one of the film's main subjects, until his school district's strict regulations restricted filming and gave his parents cold feet. It's just as well: With his obnoxious evangelical Christian proselytizing, he'd make for an annoying protagonist. "
Good thing the doc read the edited version. In other versions of the review, I cited his son's painful-to-listen-to speech impediment. Doesn't make him any less of a person, but it would make a movie full of him tough to sit through. I stand by that.
Instead of wasting his time emailing me, I think Dr. Thampy should take a trip to New Zealand and convert some pagan Maoris.
Posted by LYT at 9:13 PM | Comments (0)
June 12, 2003
"I liked the characters, and the directing was good, but most of all I liked how it helps me convert the pagans..."
Movieguide on the hot indie hit of the summer Whale Rider:
"The focus of WHALE RIDER is, of course, on Pai’s relationship with her stubborn grandfather, Koro. Pai’s very existence challenges Koro’s masculine understanding of the way things are supposed to be. Pai is not coming from a radical feminist point of view, however. She just wants to fulfill her destiny as part of the pagan traditions of her people. Thus, the primary goal of WHALE RIDER is not to use left-wing radical politics to completely attack and transform the traditions of a particular society, but to bend those traditions to accommodate a few modern sensibilities.
The movie implies, however, that the ancestors, the mystical whales, or a divine being has chosen Pai to carry on the tribe’s traditions. Thus, the end result is to affirm false pagan ideas, even though a minor character says at an important point near the end that she will pray to God for a positive miracle to occur, and the miracle actually seems to occur. Thus, Pai has a mystical relationship with the whales swimming off the shore. Her relationship with the whales plays an important role in the resolution of the conflict with her grandfather.
Still, WHALE RIDER provides a unique look into a society that only a few people know anything about. That, and the positive pro-family themes in the movie, may also furnish some insights for Christians who have a heart for leading the Maori and other tribes of Polynesian descent to Jesus Christ, who is the Way, the Truth and the Life (John 14: 17). "
Posted by LYT at 9:12 PM | Comments (0)
June 11, 2003
Horrible, horrible human being of the week
That'd be L.A. city councilman Dennis Zine, who wants to pass an ordnance banning strippers from getting within six feet of customers. That'd mean no tips and no lap dances, folks.
There's no "morality" to decisions like this at all. When you're a politician and can get pussy up the wazoo because of your clout, you have no comprehension how hard it can be for the rest of us, and what a fine service porn and sex-workers (including strippers) provide. Without such outlets, there are many lonely people who would lose it completely.
The argument that porn brings drugs and crime into a neighborhood is no excuse. So do bars. Prosecute the crime, not the service that criminals happen to be among the many to enjoy.
Whoa me down
From imdb:"The official Egyptian censorship body on Monday banned the release of Warner Bros.' The Matrix Reloaded on the grounds that it presents ideas about existence and creation that are at odds with the three major religions (presumably Islam, Christianity and Judaism). The Australian newspaper The Age quoted Madkour Thabit, head of the censorship body as saying, 'There is no specific scene to which the committee objected but it is about the movie as a whole.' "
Wouldn't want all those impressionable Egyptian kids to start believing that our world is a construct made by sentient machines. Lord knows that's become such a problem everywhere else.
Why don't you guys worry about your citizens who believe in flying planes into buildings in order to score with 71 virgins, and we'll make sure none of your --or our -- kids ever creates an anti-religious intelligent machine which enslaves the race. Sound good?
What was that about cheese-eating surrender-monkeys?
Under the auspices of the U.N., France has sent troops to the Congo to end the massacres there. I thought the French were supposed to be cowards. So, all you freedom-loving conservatives who wanted to liberate the Iraqi people from terror, I imagine you'll be apologizing to France and supporting their troops in pursuit of a similar goal, right? Right?
Oh, I forgot. No-one in the Congo tried to kill Bush's dad.
Posted by LYT at 9:10 PM | Comments (0)
June 10, 2003
Don't Know Jack
For everyone who saw the new episode of the Osbournes tonight, I have one question: does anyone anywhere think Christina Aguilera would exchange a single word with Jack Osbourne if he were not famous, er, I mean, the son of a famous person?
The old double-standard, there, folks. But at least Kelly and Jack don't look like the otherwise bland model types who populate the rest of MTV's schedules. Next to Jack, I look like the epitome of "what a girl wants."
Gloom and Gloomerer
In a follow-up to the post below, I see that the Daily News, not featuring much in the way of actual journalism ('cept you, Gougis!), has on its cover a piece on the June gloom, which it says will last into July this year and some years to come.
I thought stuff was supposed to be getting warmer? Maybe it's time to reconsider moving to Phoenix.
Gloomy Guses
In today's LA Times Calendar section, columnist Mary McNamara writes about "June Gloom," the period right about now when LA is overcast and not as warm as we think it should be. She claims no one ever remembers that this is an annual event, much like the rainy season. I know it was gloomy last year, and so was July and most of August, and every other month, by California standards. But I can definitely remember some summery Junes. The year Batman Forever came out, for one. And the Press Club Awards two years ago.
Here's what I love about McNamara's article, though: her description of those who enjoy the gloom. "Natives of the various British Isles suddenly feel quite at home, and all the creative types who pine for the leaky, consumption-provoking garret and blame the cheerful weather for their failure to become the next Kafka or even Fay Weldon, can hunker down over their anise-flavored decaf and talk about how great it would be if Los Angeles were like this year-round...It's always amusing to watch those restless and irritable friends who threaten, year in and year out, to leave this wretched, soulless land for the cultural bounty of, say, San Francisco or Seattle. Four straight days with barely two hours of sun later and they're kissing the sweet ground at the 405-101 interchange and making plans to buy something in the North Hollywood area ' just as soon as the real estate market cools off.'"
Apart from the house-buying bit, Mary just summed up everyone I know in this town. And she got you guys pretty good.
Universal Soul-dier
For whatever reason, Universal continue to keep their movies from most of the press until two days before opening, thus ensuring that no weekly will have a timely review. What's frustrating is that they don't need to. I was at a major theater tonight, and they were holding a screening of HULK. Two very famous critics were allowed in, as were some select VIPs. None of the rest of us peons were, nor had we even been told this screening existed.
Universal does this for virtually every film -- even E.T. last year, a film that, minus a few new tweaks, has been seen by virtually everyone on the planet. The only exception to the rule is dramas, good or bad -- The Emperor's Club, Life of David Gale, and a Beautiful Mind are the only Universal movies I ever recall seeing in a timely fashion.
Actually, that's not true. They'll show you the movie in time if you come to the junket (as seen in the deadly dull non-Universal flick "America's Sweethearts"), wherein you're plied with free food, merchandise, and access to the stars, in return for which you write a "feature" story that helps publicize their film. At that point, you're more likely to look on it favorably (though I was at the Blue Crush junket, and it entrenched virtually everything I disliked about the film, which was a lot. Though I did like Michelle Rodriguez, mainly because she refused to B.S. and was the only cast member who didn't speak in pre-rehearsed speeches. The "feature" I ended up doing was pretty sarcastic).
It seems like a smart, if cynical, strategy. But it isn't, really. Last year, the most successful studio was Sony, and I don't think it's a coincidence that they always worked well with us, and other critics, showing all their big-ticket stuff in timely fashion. In the case of HULK, a work-print has been leaked online and can be downloaded on some illegal site. Advance word on it is not good. You'd think the studio might want to counteract the buzz by showing a polished, finished print.
Now, they probably think weekly critics are irrelevant to the HULK. And they're probably right. However, I think it looks worse when a publication runs a blurb saying that the film wasn't available to see at press time; it makes it look like the studio's hiding something. I remember Universal being furious back when New Times LA ran an early review of the original Fast & Furious, because they'd tried to shut us out. A writer had seen it in Phoenix, liked it, and written a review, but Universal didn't even want us to run this POSITIVE review. We did anyway. They have no sense of the fact that there are younger critics out there like me who actually like genre films, so they hide them from all but the biggest of the big shots, fearing condescension, I guess.
I don't get it. And maybe this just looks like sour grapes to any non-critics out there.
Posted by LYT at 9:07 PM | Comments (0)
June 9, 2003
Don't be ATE-in'
Our friend Jaye Barnes-Luckett gets interviewed extensively over at JoBlo.com.
Talk about your bad business ideas...
An online dating service for toy collectors. Would it surprise you greatly to learn that it turned up no females in the entire state of California?
What next, an online dating service for wrestling fans? What poor female would subject herself to being on that kind of service? They could make it free for women (they should) and you'd still get a wildly uneven gender ratio.
Props for the idealism, but in practice this'll turn out to be so far from reality it ain't funny. Ironically, I wrote a play back in high school called "Plastic Soul." Had nothing to do with toys.
Wanna see my new haircut?
(that photo's the property of another site, so it won't be posted here)
Lavigne in Oblivion
Two questions for Avril Lavigne, who most likely will never read them, so consider this rhetorical:
1. I get why "Sk8r" is cooler to write than "Skater." Why is "Boi" cooler than "Boy," though? It's the same number of letters, and a "y" makes the pronunciation less ambiguous.
2. If it's such a "damn cold night," why don't you put a few more clothes on? I'm just askin'.
Posted by LYT at 9:04 PM | Comments (0)
June 6, 2003
WMD -- Whatsa Matta, Dumbass?
"One thing is certain. No terrorist network will gain weapons of mass destruction from the Iraq regime, because the Iraqi regime is no more". -- GWB
If that comforts you, I've got even better news:
Terrorist networks are also never ever going to get weapons of mass destruction from the Kingdom of Prussia, the Nation of Yugoslavia, the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics, the Island of Atlantis, the Aztec Empire, or ancient Babylon.
Feel better?
The M is for Mad Props
MTV's been a dud channel for a while now, but if you didn't see last night's MTV movie awards, be sure to catch the rerun. So much good stuff! To recap some highlights, briefly:
-- Will Ferrell as The Architect in a Matrix parody
-- Pink's scantily clad, bi-curious performance of her new single from the Charlie's Angels 2 soundtrack. Just one question -- I thought Pink had gotten some full-body tattoos, but looks like now that wasn't the case. Were they henna? As always, she came off as either stoned or dumb in interviews afterwards, but her job is to look pretty and sing the shit out of a song, both of which she does very well.
-- tATu's badly lip-synched performance with around 100 "schoolgirls" stripping down to their underwear and making out with each other.
-- Yoda's acceptance speech, which included backward Ebonics (idea borrowed from Dave Chappelle, but this was the real, official CG Yoda -- George Lucas was there in attendance). Note to MTV: Let Chappelle host next year.
-- Gollum's profanity laced argument with actor Andy Serkis
-- Vince Vaughn as the "ass wrangler" on the Charlie's Angels sequel
-- Eminem saying he was afraid to show up because of "that puppet," then later doing a spot-on impersonation of a Crank Yanker.
-- Preview of Tom Green's new talk show; his old one had talk show elements anyway, but subverted them, so it seems dull to give him a proper one, but it's good to see him back on TV, especially with Glen Humplik by his side.
-- Seann William Scott in feminine Justin Timberlake Underoos
-- Chris Kattan acting like a belligerent asshole; ostensibly an act, but now the world sees the side of him that I've always known about firsthand.
There was no "new filmmaker" award this year -- usually this is one of the few that feels real, as honorees have included Doug Liman and Sofia Coppola. Shame. But I guess they've discarded all vestiges of seriousness.
DUE TO SPAM, THIS ENTRY IS NOW CLOSED TO COMMENTS
Posted by LYT at 9:03 PM
June 4, 2003
Oil's well that ends well
A friend sent me this, apparently from the UK Guardian:
Wolfowitz: Iraq war was about oil
George Wright
Wednesday June 4, 2003
Oil was the main reason for military action against Iraq, a leading White House hawk has claimed, confirming the worst fears of those opposed to the US-led war.
The US deputy defence secretary, Paul Wolfowitz - who has already undermined Tony Blair's position over weapons of mass destruction (WMD) by describing them as a "bureaucratic" excuse for war - has now gone further by claiming the real motive was that Iraq is "swimming" in oil.
The latest comments were made by Mr Wolfowitz in an address to delegates at an Asian security summit in Singapore at the weekend, and reported today by German newspapers Der Tagesspiegel and Die Welt.
Asked why a nuclear power such as North Korea was being treated differently from Iraq, where hardly any weapons of mass destruction had been found, the deputy defence minister said: "Let's look at it simply. The most important difference between North Korea and Iraq is that economically, we just had no choice in Iraq. The country swims on a sea of oil."
Mr Wolfowitz went on to tell journalists at the conference that the US was set on a path of negotiation to help defuse tensions between North Korea and its neighbours - in contrast to the more belligerent attitude the Bush administration displayed in its dealings with Iraq.
His latest comments follow his widely reported statement from an interview in Vanity Fair last month, in which he said that "for reasons that have a lot to do with the US government bureaucracy, we settled on the one issue that everyone could agree on: weapons of mass destruction."
Prior to that, his boss, defence secretary Donald Rumsfeld, had already undermined the British government's position by saying Saddam Hussein may have destroyed his banned weapons before the war.
Mr Wolfowitz's frank assessment of the importance of oil could not come at a worse time for the US and UK governments, which are both facing fierce criticism at home and abroad over allegations that they exaggerated the threat posed by Saddam Hussein in order to justify the war.
Amid growing calls from all parties for a public inquiry, the foreign affairs select committee announced last night it would investigate claims that the UK government misled the country over its evidence of Iraq's WMD.
The move is a major setback for Tony Blair, who had hoped to contain any inquiry within the intelligence and security committee, which meets in secret and reports to the prime minister.
In the US, the failure to find solid proof of chemical, biological and nuclear arms in Iraq has raised similar concerns over Mr Bush's justification for the war and prompted calls for congressional investigations.
Mr Wolfowitz is viewed as one of the most hawkish members of the Bush administration. The 57-year old expert in international relations was a strong advocate of military action against Afghanistan and Iraq.
Following the September 11 terror attacks on the World Trade Centre and Pentagon, Mr Wolfowitz pledged that the US would pursue terrorists and "end" states' harbouring or sponsoring of militants.
Prior to his appointment to the Bush cabinet in February 2001, Mr Wolfowitz was dean and professor of international relations at the Paul H Nitze School of Advanced International Studies (SAIS), of the Johns Hopkins University.
FOLLOWUP, courtesy of Tom Tomorrow -- possibly a misquote above:
I initially took this at face value. But this is what Wolfowitz actually said:
"Look, the primarily difference -- to put it a little too simply -- between North Korea and Iraq is that we had virtually no economic options with Iraq because the country floats on a sea of oil. In the case of North Korea, the country is teetering on the edge of economic collapse and that I believe is a major point of leverage whereas the military picture with North Korea is very different from that with Iraq. The problems in both cases have some similarities but the solutions have got to be tailored to the circumstances which are very different."
This space is no friend of Paul Wolfowitz, but bad information really annoys me. These guys do enough, it's not like anyone has to make up stuff about them to make them seem worse.
Afterthought: not meaning to indicate that Wolfowitz's argument is defensible, or even particularly plausible--i.e., we simply had to attack Iraq because their vast wealth made them otherwise invulnerable, unlike North Korea, which has a weaker economy, and um, nukes, not that that plays into our decision in any way...
Now I know how conservatives feel when they read Alterman
Eric Altar-Boy, at msnbc.com, often a smart leftist social critic, puts his foot in it with the dumbest criticism yet of Matrix Reloaded:
"I just got back from what the guy who introduced it said was the first-ever showing of the IMAX version this afternoon. Since I am pretty sure I was the first person to leave the theater, having made it through just about 45 minutes, and live only six blocks away, here’s what has to be its first review:
Peter Traversque-pull quote to be used in full-page ad: “MOVE OVER, NUCLEAR WAR. THE IMAX “MATRIX RELOADED” IS A R0CK-EM, SOCK-EM, THRILLRIDE; A MIND-BENDING, EAR-SPLITTING, CONSCIOUSNESS-ALTERING EXPERIENCE… [OK, guys, you can cut there] for anybody who wants to spend an afternoon counting the little holes on Laurence Fishburne’s face at 16 times their usual screen size. Personally, I stopped at a million. Otherwise, it was one of the dumbest things I ever saw; portentous dialogue, senseless violence, atrocious “acting” and lots of ‘naturalistic’ black people dancing as if they were in one of those “Tarzan” movies. Really, what is the world coming to when anyone at all can take this crap seriously? I’m insulted even to live on the same planet that produced it. "
OK, so basically Eric goes to see a movie on an IMAX screen, and doesn't like the fact that the image is so big that he can see one of the lead actors' pores. He goes to an action movie, and is shocked, shocked I tell you, to hear loud noises and see "senseless" violence (actually, the violence in The Matrix movies serves the story more than in most, but you'd have to sit through more than 45 minutes to know that).
Atrocious "acting"? To each his own, but I can't imagine how the performances could be delivered any other way to truly suit the film. Love that or leave it, I guess. I'll stand by Hugo Weaving's performance as an all-time classic.
But the subtle insinuation of racism is troublesome. Of all the big franchises out there, you pick on Matrix, which has just about the most diverse cast of any major action blockbuster (see any black people in Lord of the Rings, Eric?). I'm not sure what he means by "naturalistic" except maybe "scantily clad," though there were folks of all races matching that description, and in that scene, which most people incidentally describe as a "rave," which, for older gentlemen like yourself, Eric, I should probably explain is a type of dance event pioneered by white people on drugs.
"Insulted even to live on the same planet that produced it"? Here you really disappoint me. Eric, I had you figured as one of the few liberals who didn't look down on contemporary popular culture. You're entitled not to like it, of course, but that kind of condescending hyperbole only makes YOU look bad -- and old. I don't like the Rush Limbaugh show, but I'm not embarassed to come from the same country as Rush, let alone the same planet.
I guess Eric's taste for contemporary culture begins and ends with Bruce Springsteen after all.
Posted by LYT at 8:39 PM | Comments (0)
June 3, 2003
Wined, dined...alas, not 69'ed
Screenwriter/author Roger L. Simon had a book signing the other night, with the big incentive being free wine (that, and the knowledge that many bloggers would be there and probably all write about each other, like last Wednesday).
Roger seems like a cool guy. I didn't talk to him all that much -- one never can to the star of the show -- but it was he who invited me in the first place. I should get some tips on finding a screenwriting agent from him, if indeed he has one at the moment.
During Roger's reading, Luke Ford was poking around the book racks outside looking somewhat suspicious. I told him he looked like a shoplifter. He seemed mildly stung by that assessment, responding, "I'm a pious Jew!" Dude, it's always possible to look like something you ain't -- I'm a master of that. Ford says this must be my kind of event, because I can knock back drinks quickly. Not exactly -- they don't really fill your glass at these things, as it's a "tasting." Besides, wine has never been my drink. I'm more of a beer and/or liquor person. I will take what I can get, though.
Emmanuelle was overjoyed that TV's Starsky was in the house. He's big in France, apparently. I wonder if my Francophile stepmom's a fan. Probably not -- high art's more her thing. Ford had not heard of Starsky and Hutch, but he'll know by next year, when the movie with Owen Wilson and Ben Stiller comes out.
Rand Simberg was in the house, so I made sure to apologize for confusing astronomy with space travel last time around. He was gracious about the error.
Amy Alkon was there too, repeatedly telling me she was drunk. I think in general when someone says they're drunk, they often aren't. True drunks deny it. Like the woman reeking of liquor the other day who wanted me to buy vodka for her. Or the bum on the bus en route to Roger's party -- he had a medical-type cane, but his only "condition" seemed to be extreme drunkenness (unles some "syndrome" exists that makes one stagger around reeking of liquor). I wondered if his HMO covered that cane purchase.
Also at the party: Corey Levitan, a cute publicist named Jen, director Paul Mazursky, Tiffany Stone, The Patio Pundit, Cathy Seipp, Matt Welch, and some others I'm likely forgetting (not Eric Almendral, though, and it isn't quite a party without him).
At party's end, people kind of drifted away and I found myself alone. Walked to the drugstore, and lo and behold, they had the rare Brock Lesnar action figure, along with two others I wanted, at cheaper-than-ToysRus prices. Scored Brock (who needs a better figure down the line, but hey, Brock rules, so any toy is good), John Cena, and Eric Bischoff, and they all rang up at a buck less than priced. This gave me bragging rights later when people started trying to prove their geek credentials. (I hate the word geek, but I like outdoing people, and the latter trumped the former on this occasion)
Then on the way out, I see Welch, Patio Pundit, and a third fellow who's name I'm blanking on right now, leaning against the newspaper vending machines. They invited me to dinner with 'em, so I closed the evening by dining on some fancy Italian seafood, and listening to Cathy Seipp hold her own on the issue of gay marriage (con) against about seven other people. I don't agree with her position, but it was impressive to see her taking on all comers without getting in any way hostile.
Lastly, I bummed a ride home. Woulda taken me a good 2 hours by bus from Brentwood at that hour.
Taking the liberal test
Thanks to Luke Ford, I took a look at Dennis Prager's 22-question test as to whether those who call themselves liberals really are. Let's see how I score. It seems clear that Dennis thinks your average American would answer "no" to all. (All questions copyright Dennis Prager -- all answers are my own)
Do you believe the following?
1. Standards for admissions to universities, fire departments, etc. should be lowered for people of color.
No. However, I do believe that someone's entire background should be looked into. If they overcame a lot of life obstacles and scored only slightly less than someone with none, they might be worth hiring.
2. Bilingual education for children of immigrants, rather than immersion in English, is good for them and for America.
Not just children of immigrants -- I think children of non-immigrants in states like California should get bilingual ed. I'd certainly like to know more Spanish.
3. Murderers should never be put to death.
Agree. Punishing killers by killing seems moronic to me, not to mention it brings society down to their level.
4. During the Cold War, America should have adopted a nuclear arms freeze.
Yep. Once you have enough to destory all life on Earth, I really don't think you need more.
5. Colleges should not allow ROTC programs.
They can if they want.
5. It was wrong to wage war against Saddam Hussein in the Gulf War.
Possibly. Kuwait hardly had moral high ground. At the very least, we should have tied human rights reforms to protecting the monarchy. And it was certainly wrong for U.S. ambassador April Glaspie to tell Saddam that we had "no opinion" on his border dispute with Kuwait.
6. Poor parents should not be allowed to have vouchers to send their children to private schools.
Damn skippy. I don't want my tax money to go toward religious education. Fix the public schools instead.
7. It is good that trial lawyers and teachers unions are the two biggest contributors to the Democratic Party.
I'd rather no-one contributed, but hey, better lawyers and teachers than Enron.
8. Marriage should be redefined from male-female to any two people.
Hell yeah. As a civil statute, anyway. Churches and synagogues can still define it however they want.
9. A married couple should not have more of a right to adopt a child than two men or two women.
Until you let those couples marry legally, I'll say yes.
10. The Boy Scouts should not be allowed to use parks or any other public places and should be prohibited from using churches and synagogues for their meetings.
No public places, yep. Churches and synagogues, seems fine to me. So that's 1/2.
11. The present high tax rates are good.
On rich people, sure. On me -- I'm doing OK.
12. Speech codes on college campuses are good and American values.
NO. But conservatives like speech codes too, just against different groups.
13. The Israelis and Palestinians are morally equivalent.
People in general, yes. Pro-Palestinian terrorists, no. But the Israeli army is not morally pure either.
14. The United Nations is a moral force for good in the world, and therefore America should be subservient to it and such international institutions as a world court.
Yes. We get into a lot of trouble by ignoring this one.
15. It is good that colleges have dropped hundreds of men's sports teams in order to meet gender-based quotas.
Who the fuck cares? Their call.
16. No abortions can be labeled immoral.
No. Some can.
17. Restaurants should be prohibited by law from allowing customers to choose between a smoking and a non-smoking section.
I'm all for that.
18. High schools should make condoms available to students and teach them how to use them.
Not necessarily, but I have no problem with that.
19. Racial profiling for terrorists is wrong -- a white American grandmother should as likely be searched as a Saudi young male.
Depends on the case, but as a general rule, a Saudi young male would be the more suspicious of the two.
20. Racism and poverty -- not a lack of fathers and a crisis of values -- are the primary causes of violent crime in the inner city.
Poverty for sure. Dunno about racism. Poor white rednecks can be as violent as any race.
21. It is wrong and unconstitutional for students to be told, "God bless you" at their graduation.
In high school, yes. In college, no.
22. No culture is morally superior to any other.
In the grand cosmic scheme of things, yes. In my personal opinion, no.
I get about 14 out of 22, with a few additional "maybes." I think I could have some fun coming up with a similar "conservative" test, but I'm too tired to do so right now.
[LATER...]
22 Questions -- the liberal version
Just for fun here. My purpose is different than Prager's, whose premise was that some people who call themselves liberals would actually be horrified by the true liberal agenda. I think most conservatives know what they stand for -- if they don't wholeheartedly buy the right wing line, they call themselves libertarians or moderates or somesuch. So I don't expect to horrify anybody. The statements I've selected, while not necessarily representing conservatives as a whole, are shared by many mainstream conservatives, and definitely by the right wing of the Republican party.
Mainly, though, they make a decent synopsis of why I'm not a conservative. If you think I'm strongly mischaracterizing any of these positions, let me know and I'll post your reactions.
OK, so are you? Do you believe the following:
1. There are large numbers of highly skilled white males in America who are currently unemployed because unskilled minorities took all the available slots.
2. The founding fathers were strong Christians, and that fact should be reflected in the laws of the land
3. While some criminals may be victims of circumstance, a majority are simply bad people who need to be punished, and most attempts to understand or rehabilitate them will be futile.
4. Nuclear weapons, which by their very nature inflict massive civilian casualties and harm the environment for years to come, can be used in a good and moral way.
5. Opposing a war when U.S. soldiers are deployed is a vile abuse of patriotism, unless the president who deployed them got a blow job and lied about it.
5 again. Just noticed that Prager has two number 5s, so I shall follow suit: Saddam Hussein (and anyone like him) is such a bad man that anything we do to deal with him is inherently good.
6. Children (and society at large) are more damaged by images of sex than of violence. Children should know as little as possible about sex, in fact, because that knowledge would destroy their innocence.
7. The fact that virtually every vocal member of the lunatic fringe of the Religious Right votes Republican is of no concern, and says nothing about Republicans in general. Statements like this one, meanwhile, represent anti-religious bigotry.
8. Homosexuality is not part of the natural order -- it is an aberration primarily resulting from people choosing to live a particular lifestyle.
9. Marriage with children is the ideal state of being, and the majority of people not in that situation are not happy people.
10. Morality is absolute and unchanging. Except for slavery. Similarly, the U.S. constitution should only be interpreted as it was when it was written. Except for the part about blacks being lesser human beings.
11. Rich people pay more taxes, so they should get bigger tax cuts.
12. Speech and entertainment product that could be offensive to children is undesirable, and should be made difficult to hear/obtain.
13. The United States should back Israel's policies no matter what, because they are the only democracy in the Middle East.
14. The United States is almost always a force for good in the world, and if other countries disagree there's no sense in compromising with them.
15. Tax revenue collected by the government should fund police, fire departments, the military -- and almost nothing else.
16. Non-religious people do not have any morals, nor can they be as patriotic as people of faith.
17. Smoking is a fundamental right.
18. Children should not be taught about safe sex, because that would make them want to have it.
19. It is a myth that many police consider black people to be inherently more suspicious than white people.
20. A lot of criminals and immoral people in this world would be better people if they knew that the Bible condemned their actions.
21. Sunday services and personal principles are insufficient expressions of religion -- public venues like schools should assist people in actively promoting their faith.
22. Big corporations should not be subject to any kind of regulation -- they will inherently respect the environment and their employees, because to do so is good for competition.
Agree with all? Agree with some? Don't worry, we can still be friends. I do not hold these beliefs, and that's why I'm not a conservative.
Posted by LYT at 9:39 PM | Comments (0)
The O'Reilly Factor
I never would have thought I'd hear word again from any of my classmates in my very first primary school, Ireland's Tigh na nOg in County Wicklow. Imagine my surprise to hear from Myles O'Reilly, aspiring rock star, via email today. The internet is a beautiful thing. What's strange is the passage of time and what it does. Myles knew me when I was an outspoken, nonconformist kid. He never saw the phase when I was all repressed, conformist, and introverted. But now I'm back to being outspoken and nonconformist again. funny how things come around.
Myles was always an artistically gifted and damn smart kid. He also had rich parents and more toys than me (I think he was the only kid I knew who owned those 3ft tall Shogun Warrriors). The last time I saw him, we were both in secondary school, and he lived in a strange house with an elevator. We watched Police Academy 2 on video.
Myles sent me an incredibly old photo of us, which I'll post soon, as will I do with a link to his site. In the meantime, here's some recent wisdom from Myles:
"(1) Pretending to be superman was (and still is) 10 times more fun than playing soccer (2) Playing soccer was for kids who played with toy cars (3) The kids who played with cars were (and still are) generally far too competitive for my liking."
The kids who played with Star Wars toys, of course, ruled. And that was me and Myles.
Hail and farewell to the king
Classy Freddie Blassie, "King of Men," and coiner of the phrase "pencil neck geek," passed away earlier this evening. Only weeks ago, he finally published his memoirs, which sound like they're well worth the read (hint hint birthday present hint hint).
The wrestling world mourns his loss, but at least he got to live a full life, unlike some of the recent untimely deaths in the sport.
Well, it's about time
At last, another movie critic who actually defends the much-maligned "rave scene" in The Matrix Reloaded.
I often have virulent disagreements with this guy, but we're on the same page here.
Posted by LYT at 8:36 PM | Comments (0)
June 1, 2003
Gimme Gimme Gimmick
I don't know if anyone likes or reads what I have to say about wrestling, but if Ken Layne can write long posts about basketball and Eric Alterman can rhapsodize about Bruce Springsteen, I can and will indulge my peculiar obsession on my blog.
All over the internet, self-appointed pundits are griping about why the WWE sucks and what could be done to save it. Most blame HHH for every single problem in the wrestling business. I'm tired of the guy myself, but I want to address an issue I haven't seen brought up anywhere else:
Lack of gimmicks.
One of the reasons I stopped watching WCW approximately two years before it died was their lack of interesting characters. When a new guy came in, he'd use his real name, and wear generic tights. I could not keep track of Mike Sanders, Mark Jindrak, Sean O'Haire, Jamie Noble etc because they were all just guys using their real names. When WCW would get really clever they'd be even more annoying by using only a last name: Kidman, Goldberg, Kanyon. (Really, how much better does "Brutal" Bill Goldberg sound than just "Goldberg"? A lot better, methinks).
Vince McMahon should not have this problem. Time was that every once in a while, you'd have a WWF wrestler whose gimmick was "no gimmick," but there'd only be one at a time. Ron Garvin, say, or the latter years Bob Backlund. Admittedly, gimmicking could get overboard: established stars like Barry Windham and Tony Atlas should not have been turned into "The Stalker" and "Saba Simba," respectively, but would "Ravishing" Rick Rude have been better as "Richard Rood"? Would Paul Bearer have been a better character under his real name, William Moody? Would anyone buy "Mark Callaway" T-shirts? Surely not as many as buy those for his alter-ego The Undertaker.
But now WWE is making the same mistake as WCW. I know "smart" fans think it's cool to bash gimmicks and just watch pure wrestling, and sure, ECW brought things back to basics. But that is what killed them; watching ECW at the end of its run was boring as hell -- all the stars had left and the show was just a bunch of generic guys with real names, save maybe Kid Kash, and some guy named The Musketeer who was hilarious because he actually had a gimmick.
If this were the 80s, Sean O'Haire's current persona would simply be called something like "The Guru." For the first week or two, he'd be called "The Guru Sean O'Haire," but then the real name would be phased out. I think that would be better. If he's getting a self-help guru gimmick anyway, RUN WITH IT. An Irish name has nothing to do with that persona one way or the other.
Most of the popular stars in the WWE do not use their real names. Not Triple H (Paul Levesque). Not the Rock (Dwayne Johnson). Not Undertaker. Not the Hurricane (Gregory Shane Helms -- OK, he kinda does, but as a "secret identity" joke), Kane (Glen Jacobs), Rob Van Dam (Rob Zachowski), Rikishi Phatu (Solofatu Anoai), Hulk Hogan (Terry Bollea), Roddy Piper (Roderick Toombs), Big Show (Paul Wight), etc. Kurt Angle and Brock Lesnar do, but their names sound made up even though they're not.
Worse, WWE is actually now stripping incoming wrestlers of their gimmicks. The man known in the minor leagues only as "Leviathan" (great wrestling name!) is now simply Dave Batista. "The Prototype" has become John Cena. "Damaja" is Danny Basham (not actually his real name, just a way to work him and Doug Basham as brothers). "Tenacious Z" is merely Zach Gowen now.
I do think "Edge" would be better as Adam Copeland, but only because there's already a very successful musician named Edge.
Wrestling is larger-than-life theater. I know there are backstage skits and all that, but I'd like to see some real larger-than-life characters, not just generic humans. I think the majority of the fans would respond.
Da da da da da, da dah duh
A friend emails me about Marnye:
"I do have a loved one that I feel has never left me. It still does hurt, the
physical absence, but there is also a presence which often takes it away, when I
accept it for what it is. Anyway, all I'm saying is she may come to you,
sometime. You may not even know what it is if it should happen, but if you're
open to it when she's trying to reach you, you might have all kinds of insight"
I figured Marnye would probably have about 100 other folks to reach before me, but I was buying her favorite beverage tonight at Pavilions, and the coupon printer spits out two coupons for more tequila blanco.
You're not supposed to give coupons, or any other kind of promotional giveaways of alcohol. Yet here they are.
Thanks, Marn. If you're open to further requests, how about finding me a woman?
Ah, you do what you like. And I'll periodically drink beer out of the side of my mouth just to keep your spirit a little riled up. I doubt you'd have it any other way.
Posted by LYT at 8:33 PM | Comments (3)