« September 2003 | Main | November 2003 »
October 31, 2003
Eau Canada
It's raining a lot here. But when it isn't, there are beautiful blue skies.
Sorry 'bout the lack of posts. I've been very busy here up north, and am constrained to a certain degree regarding what I can and can't talk about. That rascally "Pierre" still goes undetected, however. After my last post and picture from him, they tried to determine his identity by handing out free wine at the studio. Unfortunately for them, it was cheap wine and Pierre's a gourmet. So his identity is still a secret, for now...
Speaking of gourmets, Canadian McDonalds has a new sandwich advertised called the "McGourmet," which may be the biggest oxymoron I've ever heard.
Flew up through Chicago on Sunday. Got into Montreal Monday morning, and took a cab to the McKee pad, which of course is on the top floor of a building with no elevator. The apartment has some strange paintings on the wall, but other than that, it has that McKee feel to it -- many videotapes, plenty of beer and the scent of cigs. I quickly realize that I will likewise smell of secondhand smoke in no time. Not complaining here, just making an adjustment.
Lucky's dad Mike is in the house, which is always a good thing. Whenever Mike's around, phonies flee, so everyone on the set keeps it real. He's shooting some documentary footage of the whole process, and doing a very good job from what I've seen.
Monday was a day off, and Lucky and Mike wanted to see Kill Bill again. I didn't, but when we got to the theater there was nothing else starting at the same time, so I went with them. It was a great theater -- each row of seats had a massive vibrating box attached to the back so you'd "feel" every sound. I was still tired, having gotten maybe 2 hours sleep max, and actually fell asleep during my favorite scenes, the ones with Sonny Chiba. I don't hate the movie as much as I may have put across, but I'm still not convinced there's much substance to it.
Quebec has the best of all possible worlds when it comes to junk food. Not only are all the good English candy bars here -- Aero, Crunchie, Cadbury's, etc. -- but they also have MELLO YELLO! Yes, the golden elixir of the American South. There's also a Tropical flavor 7up, which is a lot better then our Tropical Sprite Remix.
After Kill Bill, we ate at a diner type place which also served cocktails, not that we indulged. Booze and smoking laws seem very relaxed here -- Lucky's favorite breakfast place has a full-on bar in the corner, with barstools, taps, and everything. Smoking doesn't seem to be banned anywhere, though the cigarette packs have pictures of people coughing on them, and according to the McKees, the tobacco's kinda weak.
Back at the pad, I was happy to find out that the couch folds out. Watched some of the Woods footage, and mind was blown. You guys will dig this movie hardcore. Lucky has a unique talent for making horror films that will draw in teen girls as well as the usual male crowd. Those of you who frequent toy company message boards may want to start petitioning for a figure of the main character. Trust me. You'll be doing so anyway in a few months.
Tried some Canadian beer with a picture of a polar bear on the bottle. A tad bitter.
Hope to post some pics when I can.
Posted by LYT at 2:19 AM | Comments (0)
October 26, 2003
Party Man
Two parties in one night! Good thing I gots da wheels deez daze.
Cathy Seipp's party had an interesting premise: A teen and blogger party. I was curious to see which group would be more petulant and egomaniacal. (Answer: Bloggers. Duh)
Cathy had sent out directions, but I simply mapquested. En route, I realized this may have been a mistake. Mapquest directions are not specific enough. I remembered part of her invite mentioning something about people getting lost easily, and cursed myself for not remembering the specifics. At this point I figured I'd way overshot the mark, and I knew the traffic behind me was PO'ed. Figured I'd turn in at the next left, but since I was circling THE silver lake, there were no lefts.
Finally I find one. Turn. Get ready to U-turn, but whaddaya know, this turns out to be Cathy's street. Fortune favors the foolish.
It was a semi-costume party, and I had a hideous, cheap Jar Jar Binks mask, but nowadays it's a bad idea to walk around with a mask on. What if I came to the wrong house? So I enter sans mask.
Turned out the teens and bloggers remained fairly segregated. Dunno why, exactly. The teens were a more diverse group. Cathy's daughter "Cecile" got me quickly involved in a game of Spoons, a fast-paced card game that nonetheless takes a long time to play in a large group, because it's a game of attrition, slowly weeding out losers rather than allowing for a winner upfront. My Graham family instincts kicked in after a while and I got into the swing of things. Phantom Planet played on the boom box. At one point Cecile suggested it might be too loud, to which I responded, "If it's too loud, you're too old." As a guy on the verge of 30 in a room full of teens, I figured that might get a decent laugh.
Luke Ford briefly stuck his head in to make wild accusations of marijuana usage and other immoral innuendo. Cecile (who seems much happier in person than some of her blog entries might indicate -- then again, anger is a powerful motivator for writing, and we all probably come off angrier than we are) would introduce each new guest to the teen room, noting that she was doing so because "This is your future." I noted the connection with that South Park episode where the parents hire some actors to play the role of their childrens' drug-enfeebled "future selves" in order to scare them straight. Hey, a fair disclaimer -- some may not want to end up as me.
I bowed out of the next game once the first ended, not because I particularly wanted to be amongst adults, but more because I didn't want to exert any kind of concentration over cards in my hand. It was an interesting age dialectic -- no-one there was my age, so I could pass in between the worlds.
Cathy has a a cool family -- I spent most of the evening with either her daughter, sister, or father, and liked them all. Cecile reminds me a lot of my own younger sisters -- must remember to make that introduction if the siblings are ever in town.
Slate blogger Mickey Kaus showed up in an Al Gore mask which he would not remove, until such time as his thirst for limeade became too great.
As the evening wore on, one of Cecile's Korean friends introduced some spicy Korean food to the mix. Basically, it tasetd a lot like kimchee mixed with squid. Very good stuff. In eating the unkosher calamari, Cecile claimed she had lost her purity. Man, if that's all it takes, I lost mine a lot sooner than I thought. Luke Ford made dire pronouncements of doom, naturally. Personally, I could never keep kosher because I can't see worshipping a god who would deny us the pleasure of one of the most divine creations on earth, the cheeseburger.
I bowed outta there at about 10:30 to head to Eric Almendral's housewarming bash. Good to see that the party animal can throw every bit as well as he attends. Eric and Brill have a damn cool house. As nice as Cathy's is, I have to say Eric and Brill's is even nicer. Eric learned the hard way that floating candles in the pool don't really work, but just having floating candles and a pool is a big achievement.
Jill Stewart also made it over from Cathy's, as did Moxie and friend, though they didn't stick around long enough for me to attempt any kind of shameless come-on.
Broos and Sharan were in the house, as well as Elana and still-current New Times employee Brian Bullen. Broos seemed kinda down, most likely because the long drive home compelled him to drink Sprite, which is a damn shame when there's whiskey to be had.
I talked to Scott Timberg about the death of Elliott Smith. He was taking it hard, though we both acknowledged that stabbing oneself in the chest is pretty ballsy.
Most people went home shortly after I got there. Eric seemed a tad disappointed that his guests didn't share his party longevity. I was a little disappointed too, but not entirely surprised. I understand people with kids leaving early, but no-one else has a good excuse, especially on the night the clocks go back.
Now that I have a car, staying somewhat sober is a necessity, so I hung out until I was. Eric let me take home two bottles of cheap champagne. Probably won't drink 'em till I get back from Canada.
I bought thermal underwear and a fur hat in preparation. "Pierre" has been calling me several times this week to emphasize how cold it is in Montreal. I hate cold, but I can't wait nonetheless.
LYT "represent[s] the decay of Western Civilization with his obscene t-shirts, obscene chatter and polymorphous sexual perversity"
So sayeth Luke Ford. I suspect he's more familiar with sexual perversity than I, however.
Not for any lack of trying on my part.
Posted by LYT at 2:16 AM | Comments (1)
October 22, 2003
An open letter to the Los Angeles Film Critics' Association
Dear LAFCA members,
Hi! Remember me? It's LYT, the guy whose membership you turned down three years in a row, and who you won't even consider for membership any more because I'm not published in L.A. No hard feelings, guys. You don't want me around, so I'll find people who do. The Press Club is quite happy with my membership, and I don't see any of you at those meetings (one or two of you at the parties sometimes).
Anyway, water under the bridge. I'm here to talk about the following statement:
"Whereas, the members of the Los Angeles Film Critics Association are committed in our annual awards process to a fair and unbiased evaluation of all films theatrically screened in Los Angeles during the year, whatever their budget or production source;
Whereas, the ban on screeners seriously inhibits our ability to work as professionals and compromises the integrity and fairness of the evaluative process;
Therefore, be it resolved that unless there is a timely rescinding of the ban on screeners, LAFCA, with great reluctance, is compelled to cancel this year's voting on awards."
OK, so initially it seemed like you were doing this to stand in solidarity with the Academy. That isn't what you say in the statement, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. Once you guys made the statement, the MPAA compromised, and agreed to send VHS tapes to Academy members only.
Now, if, having succeeded to that degree, you back off and hold your awards again, you may ignore everything else I am about to say. But if not...
GROW UP!
You heard me. You're acting like spoiled children. A majority of critics in America are not part of your club, or any other, and you know what? The rest of us don't get screeners from the studios. Miramax has offered me screeners in the past on request (I asked for a whopping two: Amelie and With a Friend Like Harry, both of which I could have seen in theaters if I absolutely had to), and one year I got a Waking Life and Sexy Beast DVD from Fox Searchlight, but I had seen both already -- nice to have, but not a necesssity by any means. Last year, there was a significant indie film I had missed, so I made some calls to try to get a copy. I never got one. I lived with it.
Somehow, some way, in the past three years, I have made a concerted effort to see every significant film released, starting in January. I make notes throughout the whole year for use at year's end. Somehow, I manage to see every movie that ends up being Oscar nominated, with the possible exception of docs and shorts. Somehow, I've generally seen every movie you guys pick for your awards also.
Academy voters have day jobs, so they can't get out as often. Seeing films IS our day job. I do office stuff as well. I frequently spend my weekends in a theater-heavy area of town watching multiple movies. Them's the breaks, guys. If that's too hard for you, let me give you a reality check:
Not one year before I was a film critic, I was mopping up piss in a movie theater restroom for $7.50 an hour. Boy, you know, it would've been real nice to say, "Hey boss, guess what? Unless you rescind the rule that says I have to mop up urine, I'm not going to do the rest of my job properly!"
Something else fyi: Last year, in the middle of December, when one is rushing from screening to screening, my car died. Unfixable. I've used public transportation, and rides from generous friends, since then until my recent vehicle was obtained. And yet, somehow, I manged to see every movie that got Oscar nominated (again, minus docs and shorts, and foreign contenders that had not yet opened).
Look, if you guys can't do your jobs without paid perks from the studios (which is what screeners are), I have no sympathy. There are plenty of other people who can. Work is sometimes an effort. That's why it's called "work."
Now get to it.
Posted by LYT at 2:15 AM | Comments (0)
October 21, 2003
Final anniversary post (of this year, anyway, or until I have a party)
As I recover from the delirium of sickness, I've gone back and read every single blog post on this site. That's right, a year's worth. And what a year it's been.
I conceived of this site during my first ever romantic tryst last September. Observation: When sex suddenly becomes available, it frees up your brain to think about other things. I came up with the LYT-shirts first, then figured I should have a site to promote as well. I figured since I was a man about town, I'd get more readers that way.
Well, right before the site went up, New Times LA folded, and my brief tryst was ended by the other party. The site became primarily a source for readers to find out where my stuff was being seen on the web. Then after some months, my weblog actually got some notice, and became an end in and of itself.
What a year it's been since then. I lost one very dear friend, reconnected with some I never thought I'd see again, and made some excellent new ones. I've done commentary on three DVDs, been quoted in Newsweek, appeared in my first feature film, very nearly (but not quite) broken my Valentine's Day solo streak, been linked on several major LA media sites, inspired at least one other person to take up a blog, broken an exclusive about an upcoming film, secured a regular radio gig, and more.
I'd like to thank everyone who has linked to this site on their own, in approximate temporal order: Jaye Barnes-Luckett, sean (connery), John Daily, Amy Alkon, Zach Passero, Kevin Roderick, Corey Levitan, Emmanuelle Richard, Max Mohr, Roger L. Simon, Luke Ford, Kevin Ford (no relation), and Cathy Seipp.
If you're on my links page and I'm not on yours, I hope you'll reconsider.
Now, for new readers and forgetful old ones, I've culled my favorite nuggets of alleged wisdom from a year's worth of blogging. Many of these quotes are entirely out of context, especially the ones that offend you.
So then, here's LYT on...
...POLITICS
"I don't believe health care should be a for-profit system, just as you shouldn't have to pay police a fee to catch the guy who mugged you, except out of general tax money. It fundamentally seems wrong to me that we live in a country where someone can die not because we couldn't cure them, but because they couldn't pony up the dough to get that cure. If I have to be taxed so hard that I can't buy food for a week, it's still worth it to save a life."
"God damn, conservatives can even have cool tattoos and long hair these days. I bet when they hit 35 they disavow it all and put on a stupid blue suit with a ton of hair gel."
"You know that apocryphal Chruchill quote conservatives love:" If you're not a radical in your 20s, you've got no heart. If you're still a radical in your 40s, you've got no brains"? I always wanna add the LYT corollary: "If you sell out your youthful idealism just because you got older, you've got no balls.""
"I do get the sense that the Dems are finally, slowly lumbering into motion, like big dinosaurs waking from a long hibernation to try and crush a rodent. Unfortunately, with regards to evolution, the rodents won. But thankfully, GW doesn't believe in evolution."
"According to a survey in today's LA Times, 68% of Americans believe in the Devil. Most of those, some 75% I think, are Republicans. Don't stop me here; I'm gonna go on a roll --
Of course Republicans believe in the Devil. It only makes sense to keep track of who you sold your soul to.
Of course Republicans believe in the Devil. After all, they got him elected president last time around.
Of course Republicans believe in the Devil. Unlike liberals, they're rational people with real-world solutions to America's problems, all of which are caused by a red supernatural figure with horns and a tail.
Of course Republicans believe in the Devil. They also believe in the Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus, and an alliance between Saddam Hussein and Osama Bin Laden.
Of course Republicans believe in the Devil. Unfortunately, they've never managed to convince any sane person that his name is Bill Clinton.
Of course Republicans believe in the Devil. Why, if they didn't, Jerry Falwell would be nothing but an unscrupulous, conniving shyster who preys on the prejudices and miseries of others...Oh, waitaminute!"
"So if you're praying for the soldiers, spare a thought for the journalists too. This message brought to you by a proud and underqualified member of the LA Press Club."
"As I recall, the U.S. ultimately gave up fighting North Vietnam. Does that make us hamburger-eating quitter-monkeys?"
"To our brave soldiers on the front line:
Please take care, and come home safely.
Please try not to kill civilians.
Avoid inhaling depleted uranium residue if you can.
And above all, thank you for defending my freedom to call the president a pea-brained fuck-head."
"Since we were in fact developing weapons of mass destruction, did that give Japan the right to pre-emptively attack at Pearl Harbor?"
...FILM CRITICISM
"Tuesday was one of those days when, as a critic, you just have to grin and bear it -- sitting home watching videos all day for an upcoming film festival. Doesn't sound so bad, right? Think about it again. You have no time to leave the house. You must watch videos all day, and pay attention. They are movies you have never seen or heard of before, and most are super-low budget. You have an adequate TV, and a couch into which you sink like quicksand. Trust me, it's work."
"How many film critics does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but only after 50 others have proclaimed the darkness to be "Oscar-worthy!""
"From the LA Times' editorial page -- "Like Queen Latifah, George Bush is bringing down the house." Criminy, you can't come up with a better movie reference than that? How about...
"Like Willard, George Bush's most trusted confidantes are filthy rodents"
"Like Chihiro, George Bush's brain has been Spirited Away"
"Like Johnny Knoxville, George Bush is a jackass"
"Like an extended rape sequence, George Bush's march to war is painful to watch and Irreversible""
"I love Charlton Heston movies, and wouldn't think of boycotting them. Though when it comes to politics, my Microsoft spellchecker is correct -- his name probably should be "charlatan.""
"I stand by my thesis that if something called "Rush Limbaugh: The Movie" had been made in 1992, it would have been a huge box-office hit, even if it had been just an hour and a half of Rush sitting at his desk talking"
...RELIGION
"Scientology Santa's house is being rebuilt again on Hollywood Blvd as we speak. Pity the kids who go to him:
"Ho ho ho! What would you like for Christmas, little boy?"
"A fire engine."
"Purged Engrams? Let's look at daddy's wallet first, shall we?"
"No, a fire engine. A battery operated street one."
"You want to free your Operating Thetan? Oh dear, daddy's wallet looks a little bit light for that. But maybe he could start scrubbing Santa's floors for a dollar an hour."
"No Santa, why are you being so weird?"
"Been Cleared? Yes I have! Only cost Santa $75000 and the loss of Mrs. Claus and all the elves!"
"That's...kinda pathetic."
"Dianetics? Why, sure, Santa can give you that. It's a good book, too. Santa might even give you some extra copies for your friends!"
"But that's not what I want! And I've been a good boy!"
"Yes! Johnnie Goodboy Tyler! He's the hero of Battlefield Earth, which is a best-seller! Santa's got lots of unsold toys from that movie -- how about a talking Terl action figure?"
"Daaaaaaaad!""
"I too fear death, but as a believer in evolution I also wonder why we'd evolve the capability to imagine the soul and an afterlife if such a thing could not be."
"the first thing he said in his acceptance speech was "In Christ, all things are possible." Yeah, Matt. A guy who's been dead almost 2000 years gives a rat's ass whether you become a pro-wrestler or not."
"Pat Robertson has prostate cancer. It's all the abortionists' fault."
"If the late pro-segregation Senator Strom Thurmond wakes up in Hell, to find the afterlife strictly segregated into that place and Heaven, does it qualify as irony?"
...LIFE
"It's usually a safe bet that whatever L.A.'s weather is, the rest of the state is experiencing ten times that and people are dying of it. Windy? Trees fall over, people die. Raining? Mudslides send houses into the ocean? Hot? Brush fires, of course."
"Talk about political correctness gone amuck. I was just at the grocery store, in the produce section, observing their selection of the large citrus fruit known as the Ugli. Did I say Ugli? Apparently, I meant "Uniq." As in "You are a beautiful, uniq snowflake." They changed the freakin' name of the fruit to make it sound more positive. Wouldn't want to hurt the feelings of a piece of produce."
"Latifah says "I look like real people." True, but real people in this country, by a margin of just over 50%, are overweight. To people in any other country, you look really fat."
"Taking the #4 to Echo Park, I was engaged in conversation by a loud individual in a Pretenders shirt who was either drunk, stupid, or retarded. Well-meaning fellow, but practically shouted every line of dialogue, and ended everything he said with "Yeah." Example: "DO YOU KNOW IF CELL PHONES ACCEPT COLLECT CALLS? BECAUSE I NEED TO GET A CELL PHONE. YEAH." Then he'd scratch his arms using his teeth."
"Is there something embedded in human DNA that kicks in once you become a parent and makes you unable to grasp the concept of time zones?"
"Random related question: Does anyone actually really like wasabi? It seems like we just put it on our sushi because it's there, then go, "Ow, goddamn, that kinda hurts.""
"Anyhow, one thing I learned by going to a wrestling show in Asheville is that "fag" is no longer the epithet of choice for rednecks. It has been supplanted by "bitch.""
...MEDIA
"Now, I've nothing against Justin other than his stupid hairdo, his career in one of the most annoying bands ever, and the fact that he laid his hands on parts of Britney Spears' body I've never even seen"
"I come out, and J-Lo's the only one in the room, doing singing exercises. So I tell her something like "God, it's so much warmer in here!" She responds: "Than outside? Definitely!" That was my celeb interaction."
"It's unfortunate that Franti has become a standard-bearer for progressive music, because quite frankly, his music sucks."
"He opines that more educated folks tend to have computers, and folks with higher education skew left. What he doesn't state is a counterpoint that seems to me more obvious: computers are owned by people with money, and people with lots of money skew right."
"And to all you audience members who clap for the lowly set painter in the ad -- when was the last time you sat all the way through the end credits as these lower-tier folks get their brief, well-earned moment of glory on the big screen? I'll answer that: for most of you, it's never. How do I know? Because I do sit all the way through 90% of the time, and I don't see many of you when the lights come up. Hypocrites."
...LYT
"I forgot to mention, I actually came up with a new drink at the Colonial party: The LYT.
Here's what you need:
Red soda (Safeway red twist, in this case, which tastes like Red Vines...mmmmm!)
vanilla Stoli
Blue soda (Safeway Razzberry Blast)
Lotsa ice cubes.
Fill glass with cubes. Fill about 1/3 of remaining space with blue soda. Next third with vodka. Next red soda. If there's enough ice, the red and blue should stay separated by a white mass of ice. Thus the drink looks like my hair. Hey, you come up with a drink that looks like you! Betcha can't."
"I want to say this about Christmas. When I was a kid, in 1970s Ireland, we had white Christmases. We were proud of them. And if California had followed our lead back then, we wouldn't have had all these problems either!"
"when I was at the mall on Xmas eve, at least two different parents tried to quiet their crying toddlers by pointing out my pretty hair. In yer face, naysayers."
"There's a big desk in the middle of my living room. I suppose I should create a work area with it."
"when I first met him, I was bald, wearing a dress, and had black paint on my face. He took it totally in stride, and I’ve never forgotten that"
"It's OK to go walking around as a Stormtrooper, or Jango Fett, or be an underage girl in anime fetish outfit, or a beautiful breasted chick wearing nothing above the waist but two vertical strips of black tape. However, if you are a rainbow-haired film critic waiting in line for a Keldor action figure raffle ticket, and someone hands you a free "got milk?" sticker, and you paste it to your forehead because that seems like the thing to do at the time, then wear it there for the rest of the day...people will give you strange looks."
"Me: Doesn't the smoked turkey come with lettuce?
Employee dude: I dunno, dude, I didn't make that sandwich.
Me: I mean in general, doesn't it usually have lettuce on it.
Employee: yeah.
Me: Can I get some lettuce on mine?
Employee: You mean the Sierra smoked turkey?
Me: No, the regular smoked turkey
[blank stare]
Me: This is my sandwich. It has no lettuce. Can you put lettuce on it?
Employee: OK."
"There's nothing heroic about seeking fame and fortune the way I am. It's what I am, and it's what I do. But what's truly heroic is working a back-breaking job day in and day out because it's necessary for society. Sewer worker, say. Or coal miner (a job that virtually guarantees crippling repiratory illness in your later years). Manual laborer. Janitor. Farmer. These are people we can't live without, but they'll never be put on pedestals. Special-Ed teachers, like my friends Dave Roche and Bryan Thornton. Hell, any public school teachers. People who do what they do knowing full well that the greatest glory they're likely to earn from it is the satisfaction of a job well done."
...ROMANCE
"that seems to be true of a lot of successful couples -- both parties do tend to share a "look." And maybe that's why I have had trouble in the quest -- ain't nobody looks a damn thing like me."
"Good to see Broos and Sharan, though (yes, people with weirdly spelled first names are indeed meant for each other)."
"Couples who want to trade partners for a night can go to these clubs and be GUARANTEED sex if they want it. Yes, couples. People who in theory are having sex with each other as often as at least one of them wants. Where are these clubs for singles? Gay men have the bath houses, I guess, but single straight people have no such venue. Don't say clubs or bars, because those tend to be filled with couples out on dates who AREN'T looking for more. Here's an idea: any woman out there who isn't attracted to me but wants to get laid, let's pretend to be a couple, go to one of these clubs, and swap. Whaddaya say?"
"When you're a politician and can get pussy up the wazoo because of your clout, you have no comprehension how hard it can be for the rest of us, and what a fine service porn and sex-workers (including strippers) provide. Without such outlets, there are many lonely people who would lose it completely."
"An online dating service for toy collectors. Would it surprise you greatly to learn that it turned up no females in the entire state of California?"
...OTHER BLOGGERS/JOURNOS
"Met Tony Pierce for the first time. He seemed genuinely excited to meet me, until it became clear that he thought I wrote for laobserved.com."
"Amy Alkon was there too, repeatedly telling me she was drunk. I think in general when someone says they're drunk, they often aren't. True drunks deny it."
"Max didn't actually have a birthday party last year, as I recall. He feigned illness instead, probably so he wouldn't have to buy cookies."
"Funny, though, that on Luke Ford's site he often complains about meeting women who are too liberal. Maybe he should go to more bars and I should go to synagogues. I have the perfect pick-up line: "Hey baby, wanna sin, agog?""
"Michael's not a big guy, so he's doing what I used to do back when I was skinny, which is to make people think you're nuts."
Posted by LYT at 2:13 AM | Comments (0)
October 19, 2003
Whar Ah Dun Bin
Just for those of you wondering why I've been busy...many blasts from the past this week, coupled with mild illness. Justin Stone and Zach Passero (director of that Super-Transient film on the main page of this site) were in town from El Paso, finishing up the indie feature they're working on. Partied with them a few times this week. Friday night, we all got into a jam session, which was pretty amazing. Initially, my "instrument" was a maracas egg which I beat against a beer can for some interesting noises, but later in the night I tried a li'l vocal freestyle. Among the musicians were members of the bands ATE 13, W.C. Voodoo, The Mash Notes, His Wife Bruce and more.
Kevin used the occasion to shoot some film, using the real situation but creating a new storyline surrounding the actual events. And people got seriously fucked up. Ben seemed unable even to sit up by the time I left at around 4 a.m., and Justin, having puked on cue for Kevin's camera, seemed not to have sobered up in any way, but he was also playing to the camera method-style, so who knows. Chris has such a poker face it's impossible to tell how he's doing until one hears regurgitating sounds in the background. I had gotten a little buzzed, but was also in the process of developing a cold that was making me a tad delirious. Kevin's footage will show us all the true extent -- memory lies so much.
Got to bed around 4:30. Woke up at 9 a.m. to go see the press screening of Disney's Brother Bear. Got back home, slept until 5pm. A few hours later, headed to John Daily's birthday party, at which I stayed quite sober, save for a bit of rum in my orange juice. Many old faces from the Colonial House past were there whom I hadn't seen in a while, including fabulous ladies Dianne Martinez, Allison Fish, and Marty (OK, so he's only a fabulous lady half the time). I feel fairly certain I was a terrible conversationalist -- I was zoning out quite a bit, and when I would actually sit down I felt like Christopher Reeve, only able to move my head. Somewhere in there I watched VH-1's new "illustrated" show, which features hilarious cartoon parodies of celebs. Really funny stuff -- I recommend it.
I hear that later on there was some naked hot tub action. Colonial parties generally hit their stride at some insanely late hour. I left around 11:30 and went to sleep fairly quickly once I got home.
Thursday I went to a theatrical screening of the Jane's Addiction docu Three Days, co-directed by Kevin. Hard to know how to assess it -- Kevin clearly wanted to make a warts-and-all documentary, but the product is being sold as a long-form music video, necessitating extended song sequences, and naturally anything that could get the band in any trouble has been edited out.
Kevin also did some cinematography on the new political doc The Party's Over, and gets at least one scene-stealing appearance in it.
I didn't bother going to the Three Days after-party, opting to hang with Stone and Passero instead. Apparently Angela tried to mimic the strippers Jane's usually have onstage, and ended up falling backwards with a speaker on top of her. She was unharmed. And I got to meet Will Keenan, star of many great Troma movies, who was cool. He's having a new movie open at the Sunset 5 this weekend.
I think I'll be over this sickness by the time I go to Canada. Sleep and Gatorade is my remedy combo of choice, and Benadryl to help me sleep at night without coughing fits.
The Lonely Road
Pro-wrestler Hawk, one-half of the Road Warriors, is dead at age 45. Anyone who was a wrestling fan in the 80s or 90s has to remember this team. They were the first guys to enter the ring with heavy-metal music, wearing chains and spikes, and were face-painted musclemen before that became the norm. At one time, few wrestling observers would argue that they were the greatest team of all time. Nowadays, perhaps only the Dudley Boys have come close to surpassing that legacy.
The Warriors didn't adapt to the 90s "Attitude" era very well, which was surprising. The WWF tried to make them over as "LOD 2000" (LOD=Legion of Doom) with a sci-fi theme, but that was ill-advised. Rumors persisted that the team refused to cleanly lose a match to any other team. Hawk became a known substance abuser, and messed up a couple of matches. Infamously, the WWF tried to turn this into a storyline, with a "drunken" Hawk climbing the Titantron and threatening to jump to his death.
I can only assume at this point that Hawk's death was either the substance abuse catching up to him, or an enlarged heart from steroids. I wish I could be less cynical, but most wrestlers who die young meet their fate for one of those two reasons, which should not take away from them as human beings -- we all have our failings -- but should be looked upon as a shame.
My condolences to his family and his partner Animal.
Semite Automatic
I'll get to more blog anniversary stuff soon. But first, I feel like doing one of those pundit-type things wherein I opine on stuff that I probably don't know enough about, in this case the Israel-Palestine thing.
I want to respond to two recent things, first the Malaysian Prime Minister's comments about Jews controlling the world agenda, and some comments made about Joe Lieberman as he recently spoke before an Arab-American group, and made them mad by defending Israel. Onlookers said things like, "He's such a Jew!" (Well, duh. Did you somehow imagine he had converted to Christianity recently?)
One of the big problems that I don't really see talked about much is the equating of national governments with ethnic groups of people. The Malaysian PM tried to defend his comments by saying something about, well, the government of Israel does this and that and other bad stuff.
Yeah, but..."government of Israel" doe not equal "The Jews." I think too many people genuinely think those phrases are interchangeable. I belive there are more Jews in the world who don't live in Israel than that do; even among those who do, are we seriously to assume there's no political debate? If Israel is anything like America, probably about half of the people who bother to vote disagree with Ariel Sharon.
I'm not even sure "Zionist" is a term being used correctly. As I understand it, Zionist means a supporter of Israel's right to exist, NOT "someone who agrees with every decision the government of Israel makes no matter what," which is how a lot of people tend to use it.
And on the other side of the equation, "Palestinian" does not equal "terrorist." Arafat may well be a terrorist sympathizer. I don't think Abbas was. The thinking that equates all Palestinians with those who commit acts of terror is part of the reason you have a wartime situation. Treat the suicide bombings as murders, which they are, and put all living accomplices you can find on trial. But treat it like a war, and you end up simply lobbing missiles into someone's backyard. Vengeance is a natural human instinct, but it's also one I hope thinking people can agree we should get beyond, in favor of justice.
Here's my perspective: I lived in the Republic of Ireland for 12 years. Many people there were sympathetic to the IRA, but would never commit any crimes themselves. If the UK government had decided to punish the Irish government every time the IRA did something, things would have been 10 times worse. There were many abuses of power as it was, but the thing never turned into a war of nations.
I imagine many Palestinians don't shed tears when a Palestinian suicide bomb goes off, but that doesn't make them the guilty party. Likewise, I know there are Israelis who don't feel bad when another Palestinian building is bulldozed. Lashing out blindly on either side will not stop those bad feelings. But I do think that in the long run, a commitment to justice rather than vengeance might.
Go ahead, call me naive. But I do think Ireland's a better place now than it used to be.
Rush 'n roulette
Eriq over at the Go Little Records message board found something too good not to share here. Some impressive sound engineering work, and it's hilarious, though maybe not if you're a Republican.
Posted by LYT at 2:11 AM | Comments (0)
October 16, 2003
Blog-a-versary
Friday will mark one year to the day since Tech Guy and I registered the domain name "lytrules.com" (woulda been lyt.com but that was taken).
On Friday I'll have something special, but as part of the lead-up, I want to thank all those who have made the Cutting Board what it is, keeping it going despite the fact that our community there is kinda small. For those who don't read the message board but do read the blog, below are some examples of what you've been missing. All quotes are 100% out of context.
Big thank yous go out to regulars offpat, Tech Guy, kingme, vivaknievel, ReJeKt, ghostboy, and all the rest. If you don't see any of your quotes down there...post more often!
And now, the greatest Cutting Board quotes from...
vivaknievel:
"I'm getting ready to go see "Jackass" and fine-ass Johnny Knoxville!!! And then I'm going to get myself shot out of a cannon and into a vat of hot sauce, after I've given myself multiple paper cuts."
"Even though he got lucky, in that “agreeance” turned out to be an actual word, he’s still a dumb sucker for saying "I just hope we are in agreeance that this war should go away as soon as possible.", because he had no idea that it was an actual, yet obsolete word. "
"Looks like you have to get yourself some boobies (erm, Hooters!), Luke."
"Jack Osbourne is one of those boys that *I* might have had a brief crush on when I was 11 years old. He would have been the perfect candidate: He's annoying as fugg, but on the contrary, he's very nerdy looking (which can sometimes awaken carnality in some girls)"
"South American Indians are said to have actually popularized calling the herb itself "potaguaya". I think some stoned, lazy hippie in San Fran was introduced to it and found himself incapable of pronouncing it and thus shortened it to 'pot'."
Myself, posting as LYT_tha_Boss:
"I'm amazed anything can fit in Jennifer's ass crack, let alone your gaze."
"J-Lo and I were both leaning against the same heatlamp at one time -- woo-hoo! And her ass is not huge. Just that the rest of her's a dang toothpick."
"A role like Death or Satan or Robert Blake (in Lost Highway, or killing his wife, whichever) has always been appealing to me"
"I'm counting on the fact that even America-hating terrorists love movies and wouldn't want to wipe out all their favorite stars."
"If we were to celebrate our "heritage" the same way some African-Americans do, by tracing it way back to the previous continent, we'd all have to concede to being from the Anglo-Saxon tribe, the most devious, backstabbing, conquering motherfuckers of a race ever put upon this earth."
"Have they ever made a movie about a retarded Negro who knows kung-fu? That would be the best ever, especially if he were a ventriloquist as well."
"You say Usama, I say Osama;
You say Al Qaeda, I say Al Qaida;
Usama!
Osama!
Al Qaeda!
Al Qaida!
Let's call the whole thing off!
Cuz if you say Saddam, then I say we bomb
And if you think we're wrong, then go suck a schlong
Iraq a wreck! The UN is dreck!
Let's blow the whole thing up!"
"So, anyone think corpse-fucking on national TV is a GOOD idea? Let's hear it!"
"Look at some of the crap I write about -- burning my hand on a TV dinner?"
Ben Boyer:
"Just saw "Love Liza." Thought it was amazing. Now, I will look and see if they have any "pornography" on this "internet.""
ReJeKt:
"Under a system of government supported by LYT, roving packs of the criminally insane dispense random vigilante justice to any person not wearing a BANDANA."
"Funny how you go through the trouble to keep this site uncluttered while you live in a self-contained landfill!"
"Granded, sometimes I confuse "liberals" with "dirty, filthy hippies," and as far as I can tell, the only difference is the clothing."
"Before things get too crazy, the people of America will remember how little we actually care for the people who killed Jesus, and pull our support at the last minute, forcing Israel to concede and stop acting like douche bags. "
"There is no such thing as an innocent old person; they have made a conscious decision to stray from the ideal age of the average American. "
kingme:
"I think Luke should be a Raelian and his clone kills him in the end"
"What the fuck happened to this dumb ass cuntry. I need a drink.... New Weblog's up! Maybe that's the only good thing today.
Oh yeah, fuck Arnold too... He's a stoopid dick republican't too"
""Sick" unfortunately does mean "cool"... And it bugs the fuckin' shit out of me!.... More for the "jive" way most have to say it,
"Penis and Vagina are stupid words too. "Insert Penis into Vagina, you silly-willy jelly-belly, and have a picnic" perhaps is the worst sentence ever."
"I was once a big supporter of smokers' rights, etc. But that was also in my "kill all retards, Reagan rules" phase."
offpat:
"If you did happen to be a disabled black Jewish Bisexual which aspect do you think you would have most trouble with in relating to wider society and each minority group?
- sounds like a poll to me!"
"Lent = Ramadan, Bible = good, Koran = similarly good ...the similarities are like those of two brothers who had a falling out over some girl one married."
"hello?... this aint watergate or Monica's favourite cigar, its all out there in plain sight, like a paedophile stripping a child in the playground"
"Haitians are the only one of the ancient peoples who saw total eclipses of the sun as a good thing - everyone else was always running for cover shouting doom and disaster, they say, "Hey the sun and the moon are making love... cool!""
"I bet the real reason the Egyptians banned the Matrix is that it looks so slick they worry about what happens when the kids go out onto the dusty street outside the cinema..."
"hearing the Conservative elite criticisng and mocking the UN is like Caesar mocking the Christians for not being able to strangle the lions."
"I am an evil boss, and we love thinking of you in all those fast cars averaging 5 miles a rush hour."
"'People of Rohan! do you wish to be the best at making dull coloured camping clothes with multiple hidden pockets?'"
"Jewish mouthpieces complaining that Mel Gibson's movie made it look like Jews were the ones responsible for putting Jesus to death was like Water complaining that "Titanic" made it look like an iceberg was responsible for sinking that ship.
except water has a calm acceptance of its relative importance to the planet and wouldn't dream of making itself look that stupid."
and of course, because it isn't a party without him, who could forget this classic quote from Eric Almendral:
"The presence of so many bloggers in one place has set off a massive blog circle jerk with everyone citing and linking to the same bits of info from one another. (Of course, it would be different if I had been mentioned, hah. Maybe I need to become louder, or more friendly, or something...)"
See what some o' you folk been missin'? Truly, these guys are the best.
John Grisham movie isn't just bad, it's worthy of Hitler
Once again from the folks at Movieguide, horrified by a movie (Runaway Jury) that advocates gun control:
"Unhappily, there are many people who will fall for such superficial cinematic techniques. This is exactly what happened in Germany when Adolph Hitler and his National Socialist demagogues used movies like TRIUMPH OF THE WILL to convince the German people that murdering Jews, handicapped people, sickly senior citizens, and unborn children was a good idea. The pro-abortion, pro-gun control leftists in Hollywood are the rightful heirs of these socialist monsters."
I don't even need to add any comments on that one, I don't think. Wow.
Posted by LYT at 2:03 AM | Comments (0)
October 7, 2003
WORLD EXCLUSIVE! FIRST IMAGE OF BRUCE CAMPBELL IN LUCKY MCKEE'S "THE WOODS"!/also Wally George passes on
"Pierre the P.A.," a friend of mine working on the set in Montreal, recently sent the following message:
"Bonjour LYT,
Greetings from the frozen North! It is not quite frozen yet, but even still is tres “chilly”! Anyway, I’ve been working on the new movie of Lucky McKee called “The Woods,” with Bruce Campbell. I know you like Lucky, and reading your site I think you said you have a wife named Bruce, no? Or I am confused, because that does not make a lot of sense.
Lucky is a cool guy -- I think he must be about eight feet tall, and he could be a movie monstre himself! But perhaps that is because I am so not tall. He smokes like a Frenchman, so I have the respect for him, but I cannot persuade him that wine is better than beer. I will just have to live hyper longtemps to show that I am right.
We’ve been filming near McGill college, which is not that famous but maybe you know this place? On the first night Bruce showed up, it started to rain for the first time in weeks! Makes for the drama, no? We filmed anyway, and while the action was happening I took a photo of Bruce in action. I do not know the script, but it looks like he is planning to cut something into many pieces. Perhaps he is upset because he is cold, and needs firewood. Or maybe he is hungry, and seeks some…meat. He appears frustrated.
Hope you like. I’ll write back with more of the news if I can!
-Pierre"
He's Outta Here
An American original is gone. Known to most simply as "Rebecca DeMornay's dad," Wally George has burned his last hot seat.
Wally started on TV in the '80s, a successor of the late Joe Pyne's angry right-wing talk style, and a progenitor of the format Morton Downey Jr. would make famous. Yet Wally stayed on TV longer than Downey, and outlasted Rush Limbaugh's brief TV stint.
I became familiar with Wally via my friend Dave Roche, and it took me along time to figure out whether or not the show was all an elaborate put-on. Wally's trademark routine would be to have a stripper on the show, tell her what she did for a living was sick and perverted, then demand to see an example of it just so he could "expose" this awful corruption.
The rest of the time, he'd engage in "debate," often with perpetual foil Jim Myers, who would espouse a different liberal viewpoint each week. Wally's debating technique consisted mainly of appealing to his sunglasses-wearing audience, pounding on the desk, and uttering such tried and true crwod-pleasers as "I say THAT'S SICK!", "Hey, he looks like Pee-wee Herman, whaddaya think?", and best of all, "How's your wife...BRUCE?" (My band HWB were named for that one)
Wally also had the worst hairpiece known to man.
Among the views I heard espoused by Wally over the years: Concentration camps for homeless people, war on the Soviet Union, war on any country that allows abortion, criminalization of witchcraft, and the deportation of rapper Ice-T.
As Ben Boyer writes on the cutting board, one of the higlights of my college career was going down to Anaheim with him, Ed, and Jaye to see Wally live in concert at the steelhead brewery. Wally burgers and Wally pizza were on the menu, and Wally, clad in his trademark toupee, blue suit, and flag tie, got up there and belted out some tunes Elvis-style. He made sure afterwards to meet and greet everyone in attendance, so we all took photographs with him and got autographed pictures.
Later I would compose a Wally George drinking game.
I hope he and Rebecca reconciled. According to Wally's autobiography (Wally George: The Father of Combat TV), they became estranged after the birth of Wally's youngest child Holly (now in her teens, I believe). Wally also has a son about Rebecca's age, who carries on the Reagan revolution much as his dad the "fearless leader" did (ironic that Wally would don the nickname of a tyrannical fascist from Bullwinkle cartoons, but that's Wally).
Wally made his movie debut as himself in Grunt! The Wrestling Movie, and also appeared in Repossessed and A Nightmare on Elm Street 4.
Despite his mockery of guys with wives named Bruce, the last time I heard Wally he was calling into the Al Rantel show. Rantel is a gay conservative, and Wally told him he listened every day. Wally was calling to say that he knew Tom Cruise from the years Cruise had dated Rebecca, and no way was Cruise gay, but then Wally added, in apparent sincerity, "...not that there's anything wrong with that!"
Wally's CNN obit can be found HERE. I'm glad they could find the space.
Beyond that, I see no need to recap everything in Wally's book. I hope Rhino Records may consider someday rereleasing the album "Wally George Sings the Rock Hits." HWB's first album, if we ever made one, was always going to be called "Wally Wants a Crack Whore."
I guess the best tribute I can and did pay him was the HWB pseudo-cover of Nirvana's "Polly," retitled "Wally." Those of you who heard it live may not have caught all the lyrics; well, here they are:
Wally's got a hot seat
You should get on there soon
He's got an audience
They're a bunch of redneck goons
He's right-wing
That's his thing
Makes no sense
You've no defense
He'll always deride
Liberal views
He'll ask "How's
Your wife Bruce?"
Wally's got a hairpiece
Wants us to think it's real
He likes to talk to strippers
Always trying to cop a feel
Angelyne
Is his queen
Hot young girls
Just turned 18
1-900-SEX
Sponsors him
His married life,
Pretty grim
(Wally said)
Wally said "You're outta here!"
Last guest was boring me
Jim Myer's is up next
He's a real lib...ral loony
"I say that's
Truly sick
Bill Clinton
Is a prick
Santa Monica
Boulevard
Is where you live
You gay retard!"
God bless you, Wally...and GOD BLESS A-MERICA!
Reminders for today
1. Vote
2. Buy Randy "Macho Man" Savage's new CD
3. Buy Michael Moore's new book
4. Heads up -- pretty soon now I'm gonna be posting something pretty neat and exclusive. At that point, blogging will be on hold to keep said exclusive at the top of the page for a while. I'll be hitting up the message board more often in the meantime.
[Update: The exclusive is up -- the Bruce Campbell pic, above. And my friend Kevin Ford's rockumentary film "Three Days," about Jane's Addiction, comes out in stores today too.]
Hahahahahahahaha
Read in the paper today that Saddam tried to buy missile parts from North Korea, but Kim Jong-Il took his money ($10 million), then stalled for time until the U.S. invaded. Iraq never saw a scrap from that sale.
Poor Saddam. How could he have possibly suspected that a tyrannical dictator with a god complex might not be an honorable man?
Oh, wait...
Yo-ho, Yo-ho
I really think the pre-movie antipiracy ad currently running in most theaters is counterproductive (much like the LA Times and KCRW ads). Mainly because I'm so sick of that red-bearded asshead and his "Alls I want to do is do the best job I can" routine that I want to go out and pirate something right now just so he'll be out of a job.
Posted by LYT at 1:58 AM | Comments (0)
October 2, 2003
Credence
Warren Brown over at Salon has come up with a fairly nice and concise Liberal Creed:
"The American Liberal Creed
Liberals recognize the value and rights of all people;
Liberals recognize that we share the world with others;
Liberals support the U.S. Constitution and the Bill of Rights
and champion their equal application to all citizens;
Liberals champion knowledge above ignorance, learning above dogma;
Liberals recognize that the concept of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness is futile without education, healthcare and employment;
Liberals recognize that government of the people, by the people, and
for the people is for the service and protection of all, regardless of economic status;
Liberals recognize that public works and institutions serve the public interest, and taxes support those works and institutions;
Liberals recognize that "every person for themselves" leads not to a diverse, enlightened and viable society, but only to jungle-like "survival of the fittest";
Liberals recognize that an individual, not government, controls their own body;
Liberals recognize that neither government nor commerce is suitable to meet all of our nation's challenges, that there is a place for both;
Liberals propagate this message, defend it, and vote for and support those who do."
I think that's a pretty good one, though it's arguable to what degree we support the constitution (Second Amendment, anyone?). Literalist, to-the-letter original intent interpretations tend to lead to libertarian conservatism rather than liberalism. I believe the constitution to be fairly sound, but don't necessarily agree with treating every word as holy writ.
(thanks to Religious Left for the heads-up)
Posted by LYT at 1:56 AM | Comments (1)
October 1, 2003
Having difficulty recalling?
Arianna's out of the governor's race. This was a shrewd political move that allows her to run again sometime in the future. She knows that if she stays in the race and a Republican wins, progressives will turn on her like they did Ralph Nader for "helping get the guy elected" (Lordy, if you can't vote your conscience in a race with 135 candidates, when can you?). Nader will never be a viable candidate again because of 2000. I don't blame him, but lots do, and still won't let it go.
Arianna is also advocating a no vote on the recall, saying that a vote for the recall is a vote for the Schwarz. Shades of "A vote for Nader is a vote for Bush." I was leaning towards a yes on the recall, but I'm not so sure now.
Camejo would be a great governor, and he's my pick for replacement candidate no matter what. McClintock's too far right to win. Bustamante might not be that good, but I think he'd be better than Gray. As for Arnold, it's really hard to tell. The Pete Wilson factor is a bad sign -- Wilson was far worse than Davis. On the other hand, if a Republican gets in office here, I bet you'll see lots of federal money get miraculously freed up for our state.
Dennis Prager apparently endorsed Schwarzenegger, which is a big warning sign right there. On the other hand, if Schwarzie's consistent, maybe he'll get rid of that horrible lapdance ban that just got passed.
Before Bush got elected, I never thought he'd be as bad as he turned out. Same could be true for Arnold, who doesn't seem so bad now, but might when he has to actually take a stand.
So I dunno if yes or no on the recall. Anyone wanna help me make my mind up?
HBK -- Heretical Brand Kid
"Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels is a wrestler, formerly a hard-partying type who found Jesus during retirement. God apparently told him to make a comeback, and he did.
Now he's peddling his religion for a buck. Check out THIS and THIS
I know firsthand that Southerners often like to express their faith with Jesus T-shirts. But these are wrestling shirts masquerading as Jesus T-shirts, with all profits going to Vince McMahon, an individual who may or may not be Christian, but certainly doesn't act in accordance with any traditional definition of religious behavior.
The shirts also subtly equate Shawn Michaels with God, in a potentially blasphemous fashion (I'm not against blasphemy, just hypocrisy). What does the slogan on shirt one, "All Things Are Possible," mean? It references the religious saying that all things are possible in God, but it's not God who's named on the shirt -- it's Shawn Michaels, a.k.a. "HBK" (for Heart Break Kid) whose name is inscribed on a cross.
"The legend lives on" on the second shirt refers to the unsuccessful attempts by the bad guys to retire Shawn. So why the Jesus fish, again with HBK in it? OK, it's not exactly the Jesus fish -- the tail is closed off. But the insinuation is clear.
Do we have any Christians in the house? What do you guys think?
(Matthew 6:4-6) And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
Talk back on this highly important and not-irrelevant-in-the-slightest topic HERE
Slam!
For fans of WWE and Metallica, a song parody. Sing to the tune of "St. Anger."
Kurt Angle's got my leg
Kurt Angle's got my leg
His head looks like an egg
Kurt Angle's got my leg
(He's twisting joints!)
Kurt Angle's got my leg
(He's breaking bones!)
His head looks like an egg
(My knee is numb!)
Kurt Angle's got my leg
(Might make me tap!)
He wants to make me beg
Kick him off, not beaten yet
I grab the ropes so he can't get
to hook my arms, and Angle slam
and Angle slam on me
He hooks my arms and lifts me up
Breaks my balls, I need a cup
Grab the ref, he breaks the count
Kurt Angle's on my head
Feel my leg break
This just ain't fake
I punch at his ears
Confirming my fears
He's mad and he's Angle, it's true
He's mad and he's Angle, it's true
He's mad and he's Angle, it's true
He's mad and he's Angle, it's true
And I don't want, Kurt Angle to stay healthy
And I don't want, Kurt Angle now to win
I don't need, Kurt Angle makin' me tap out
I don't want, Kurt Angle get the pin
Get the pin!
Buck him off, not knocked out yet
I grab the ropes so he can't get
to hook my legs, and ankle lock
and ankle lock for free
Suplex me and lift me high
Two more times, the end is nigh
Tie him up, into the ropes
Kurt Angle's arms ain't free
Hear the ref shout
Kurt has got out
There's much left to fear
He's kicking my rear
He's mad and he's Angle, it's true
He's mad and he's Angle, it's true
He's mad and he's Angle, it's true
He's mad and he's Angle, it's true
[indulge me. I briefly found it amusing.]
Posted by LYT at 1:52 AM | Comments (1)