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February 28, 2004
F*ckin' the fear
WWE.com is conducting a marketing survey right now about the beer-drinking habits of its fans. From the gist of the questions, it sounds like they're intending to market a beer of their own (you have to register to take the survey; I did under a false name and address). Note that they've even registered the URL "beer.wwe.com"
If they do it, they should name the beer "Fock." That way, anyone who gets in trouble for wearing the "F*ck fear, drink beer" shirt has a ready-made excuse -- "It's the name of the beer, officer!"
Posted by LYT at 7:36 PM | Comments (2)
My one-and-only Oscar prediction/bitching post
Hate to even dignify these things with a response, but since I am a film critic, and presumably some portion of you guys come here to learn what my opinions are on such things, here goes.
I'm gonna list the nominees, my prediction for winner (PR), personal fave (LYT), and deserving movies that weren't even nominated (MIA). Got it? OK. Remember, my predictions tend to run about 60%.
WRITING (ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY)
THE BARBARIAN INVASIONS
DIRTY PRETTY THINGS
FINDING NEMO
IN AMERICA
LOST IN TRANSLATION
PR: Lost in Translation, though it doesn't deserve it, and here's why -- aside from "Lip my stockings!" name me your favorite line from the movie right now. I liked the movie, and I can't.
LYT: Finding Nemo. Now this, on the other hand, has more great lines than I can count on my hands. "P.Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney, Australia"; "Fish are friends, not food"; "I speak whale!", "Mine! Mine! Mine!" etc.
MIA: The Matrix Reloaded, Northfork, School of Rock (sounds frivolous, but think about it -- didyou not love the movie?), Triplets of Belleville
WRITING (ADAPTED SCREENPLAY)
AMERICAN SPLENDOR
CITY OF GOD
THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING
MYSTIC RIVER
SEABISCUIT
PR: American Splendor (I thought this too patchy and non-committal), with an outside chance for Mystic River (solid, but nothing special).
LYT: City of God, far and away the best film of the bunch.
MIA: Buffalo Soldiers, which was better than the book; Neil LaBute's The Shape of Things; Big Fish
FILM EDITING
CITY OF GOD
COLD MOUNTAIN
THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING
MASTER AND COMMANDER: THE FAR SIDE OF THE WORLD
SEABISCUIT
PR: Tough call, but I think City of God might actually pull it off
LYT: City of God. Not only is it the best movie, it's also the only one with any kind of unconventional, nonlinear editing. Master & Commander would be my second choice.
MIA: Spun, Irreversible, Buffalo Soldiers
VISUAL EFFECTS
THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING
MASTER AND COMMANDER: THE FAR SIDE OF THE WORLD
PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: THE CURSE OF THE BLACK PEARL
PR/LYT: Return of the King. Master and Commander suffers because the special effects are in the service of such realism that you don't know they're effects most of the time.
MIA: Terminator 3, Matrix Revolutions
DOCUMENTARY FEATURE
BALSEROS
CAPTURING THE FRIEDMANS
THE FOG OF WAR
MY ARCHITECT
THE WEATHER UNDERGROUND
I haven't seen Balseros or My Architect, but that said...
PR:The Fog of War. Like Michael Moore last year, Errol Morris will win as an apology of sorts for not having been recognized earlier.
LYT: The Weather Underground is the only one I liked, and even it was a bit lacking.
MIA: OT - Our Town wuz ROBBED! I'd also go to bat for The Backyard.
HAVEN'T SEEN ANY OF THE SHORTS...but the Disney/Dali collaboration recently unearthed will win best animated short for sure.
SOUND MIXING
THE LAST SAMURAI
THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING
MASTER AND COMMANDER: THE FAR SIDE OF THE WORLD
PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: THE CURSE OF THE BLACK PEARL
SEABISCUIT
PR: Return of the King
LYT: Master and Commander
MIA: Spun, again. Irreversible, which uses the sound mix as a weapon.
DIRECTING
CITY OF GOD - Fernando Mereilles
THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING - Peter Jackson
LOST IN TRANSLATION - Sofia Coppola
MASTER AND COMMANDER: THE FAR SIDE OF THE WORLD - Peter Weir
MYSTIC RIVER - Clint Eastwood
PR: Peter Jackson. He worked the hardest.
LYT: All pretty good choices this year (bless the Academy for dissing Gary Ross!), but I'll go with Jackson also, for the same reason.
MIA: Jonas Akerlund (Spun), Wachowski Brothers (Matrix Reloaded), Gregor Jordan (Buffalo Soldiers), Michael (or is it Mark?) Polish (Northfork), PJ Hogan (Peter Pan)
SOUND EDITING
FINDING NEMO
MASTER AND COMMANDER: THE FAR SIDE OF THE WORLD
PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: THE CURSE OF THE BLACK PEARL
PR: Master & Commander
LYT: What? No Tolkien? Doesn't matter, Master & Commander had better sound editing anyway.
MIA: All the same films that were MIA for the sound mixing category
COSTUME DESIGN
GIRL WITH A PEARL EARRING
THE LAST SAMURAI
THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING
MASTER AND COMMANDER: THE FAR SIDE OF THE WORLD
SEABISCUIT
PR: The Last Samurai
LYT: The Last Samurai. The samurai outfits were severly badass. I want toys.
MIA: Bubba Ho-Tep, Pieces of April (deserves some kind of award for putting Katie Holmes in goth-punk), X2, and for god's sake, Pirates of the Caribbean!
CINEMATOGRAPHY
CITY OF GOD
COLD MOUNTAIN
GIRL WITH A PEARL EARRING
MASTER AND COMMANDER: THE FAR SIDE OF THE WORLD
SEABISCUIT
PR/LYT: Master and Commander
MIA: Spun, Matrix Reloaded (the freeway chase, c'mon), Terminator 3, Irreversible (induced motion sickness in me, which even Blair Witch couldn't do)
ART DIRECTION
GIRL WITH A PEARL EARRING
THE LAST SAMURAI
THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING
MASTER AND COMMANDER: THE FAR SIDE OF THE WORLD
SEABISCUIT
PR: Girl With a Pearl Earring has its best shot in this category. What the hell, I'll make it my prediction too.
LYT: Return of the King -- honestly, it's as if the entire art direction budget for the LOTR trilogy was used on film 3, which soundly whoops its predecessors' asses in my book.
MIA: broken record time here -- Matrix Reloaded, Spun, Irreversible, Peter Pan, Northfork...at the risk of total ostracism, I'd even say Cat in the Hat had good art direction
MUSIC (SONG)
"Belleville Rendez-vous" - THE TRIPLETS OF BELLEVILLE
"Into the West" - THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING
"A Kiss at the End of the Rainbow" - A MIGHTY WIND
"Scarlet Tide" - COLD MOUNTAIN
"You Will Be My Ain True Love" - COLD MOUNTAIN
PR: If I knew for a fact that every voting member had seen Triplets of Bellville, there'd be no doubt -- Belleville Rendez-vous is the most insanely catchy film song this year. Alas, I fear "A Kiss at the End of the Rainbow" is the likeliest pick (if my animation geek friend Brian hasn't even seen Triplets, what hope is there for Oscar voters?)
LYT: Belleville Rendez-vous. I hate and love the way it sticks with you.
MIA: "Everybody says I'm fine" (from movie of the same name), any Jack Black number from School of Rock, any of the ATE 13 songs in May
ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Shohreh Aghdashloo - HOUSE OF SAND AND FOG
Patricia Clarkson - PIECES OF APRIL
Marcia Gay Harden - MYSTIC RIVER
Holly Hunter - THIRTEEN
Renée Zellweger - COLD MOUNTAIN
Zellweger's performance is the single worst thing in Cold Mountain, and her nomination is a joke. Just had to get that out there.
PR: I'm looking for Shohreh Aghdashloo to surprise. Also, some voters may pick her just because they think voting for an Iranian will piss off George Bush.
LYT: Patricia Clarkson's performance in Pieces of April, was one of the best things this always-reliable actress has done. Accuse me of bias if you must.
MIA: It's always a long shot to imagine that a voice-over performance could get nominated, but if any deserved it, Ellen DeGeneres did. THe LOTR cast seem to have been blacklisted, but I'd consider Miranda Otto worthy. As for Holly Hunter, was she better than the actual 13-year-olds in Thirteen?
ANIMATED FEATURE
BROTHER BEAR
FINDING NEMO
TRIPLETS OF BELLEVILLE
My friend Brian is the only person over the age of 6 to have seen Brother Bear twice, I think. That boy ain't right.
Nemo will and should win, but Belleville is damn good.
MIA: Tokyo Godfathers
MUSIC (SCORE)
BIG FISH
COLD MOUNTAIN
FINDING NEMO
HOUSE OF SAND AND FOG
THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING
PR: Return of the King
LYT: Do I have to like any of them? All right, I pick Nemo.
MIA: Spun, Irreversible, Matrix Reloaded, Lost in Translation
ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE
Keisha Castle-Hughes - WHALE RIDER
Diane Keaton - SOMETHING'S GOTTA GIVE
Samantha Morton - IN AMERICA
Charlize Theron - MONSTER
Naomi Watts - 21 GRAMS
PR: I think there's an outside chance Keisha Castle-Hughes might surprise, but Charlize is kind of inevitable.
LYT: Keisha or Charlize would satisfy me. Any of the others would be a misguided choice, at least for the films in question.
MIA: Angela Bettis gave one of the best performances ever in May, and she didn't need half as many prosthetics as Charlize, just one really fucked-up contact lens.
BEST PICTURE
THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING
LOST IN TRANSLATION
MASTER AND COMMANDER: THE FAR SIDE OF THE WORLD
MYSTIC RIVER
SEABISCUIT
PR: Sorry fanboys, I really think you'll get disappointed a third time. Mystic River will take it.
LYT: Ironically, though, I actually did enjoy Return of the King the most, and far more than Fellowship or Two Towers.
MIA: All the same frickin' movies I said were MIA in every other category
MAKEUP
THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING
MASTER AND COMMANDER: THE FAR SIDE OF THE WORLD
PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: THE CURSE OF THE BLACK PEARL
PR/LYT: Shouldn't be any contest, unless the voters get confused about the distinction between CGI and make-up in Pirates. LOTR should and will take it.
MIA: Beyond Re-animator. Old-school gore effects and a mouse fighting a severed penis -- enuff said.
ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Alec Baldwin - THE COOLER
Benicio Del Toro - 21 GRAMS
Djimon Hounsou - IN AMERICA
Tim Robbins - MYSTIC RIVER
Ken Watanabe - THE LAST SAMURAI
Two utter travesties in this category -- Alec Baldwin as Over-the-top Generic Mobster Caricature, and Djimon Hounsou as (let's be honest, Jim Sheridan) Negro Christ.
PR: Tim Robbins
LYT: Del Toro won it before, but he deserves it again, as the MVP of the slightly overdone 21 Grams. Watanabe was good too.
MIA: Ed Harris in Buffalo Soldiers and Mickey Rourke in Spun really do deliver some outstanding performances, and should have easily nudged aside Baldwin and Hounsou. Jason Isaacs was a great Captain Hook/Mr. Darling in Peter Pan.
FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
THE BARBARIAN INVASIONS
EVIL
THE TWILIGHT SAMURAI
TWIN SISTERS
ŽELARY
The only one I've seen is The Barbarian Invasions, and it was good. I pick that. Unless any of the other films turns out to involve the Holocaust in some way.
MIA: Divine Intervention (but can a Palestinian film ever get any love in Hollywood?) and Irreversible. Maybe Triplets of Belleville too.
ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE
Johnny Depp - PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: THE CURSE OF THE BLACK PEARL
Ben Kingsley - HOUSE OF SAND AND FOG
Jude Law - COLD MOUNTAIN
Bill Murray - LOST IN TRANSLATION
Sean Penn - MYSTIC RIVER
PR: Sean Penn
LYT: Wow, tough call. Bill Murray moved me the most, but it didn't seem like a stretch for him at all. Oh well, I guess I'd go for him.
MIA: Joaquin Phoenix in Buffalo Soldiers, and, at the risk of sounding uber-nerdy, Bruce Campbell and Ossie Davis in Bubba Ho-Tep, and Crispin Glover in Willard.
Posted by LYT at 4:35 PM | Comments (0)
Karaoke is hell, boy
Sometimes my righteousness slips. Not having purchased a new wall calendar yet, I forgot that I was supposed to go to a party tonight. Fortunately the birthday girl was not so modest as to keep her mouth shut, and called to chew out my answering machine. I was able to make it to the event, late but in one piece.
It was at Brass Monkey, a small karaoke joint in Koreatown. John Daily was in the house, so we proceeded to make gay come-on gestures to one another until he decided we should duet on a rap song. "U Can't Touch This" was the choice, but John bailed before our number came up. I had to do it solo, and since I didn't have a birthday present for Corinda yet, I decided the performance had to be damn good. And I put a lot of energy into it, anyway. Not having heard the song in a while, I didn't always get the right flow, but close enough. Just for good measure, I even thre in a Dave Chappelle-style "I'm Rick James, bitch!"
The DJ, also named Luke, insisted that everyone had to wait their turn, but he made one exception -- RON PERLMAN. Yes, Hellboy was in the house -- he's at least half a foot shorter than me, ha ha! --and he did a Sinatra song. Much of the crowd wasn't into it seeing as how it was a low-key number, but Ron's got a good voice, and when a new expanded Hellboy movie trailer screened on the monitors, the crowd popped huge.
Some of the ladies in the bar seemed to be giving me some come-on vibes, but too bad for them I'm pretty much taken at the moment. Don't ask by whom -- save for the person who introduced us, most of you do not know her yet. She's neither journalist nor aspiring showbiz type.
Anyway, a happy birthday to CH, whom I intend to get a gift for as soon as I find one.
Zach's leaving town in the morning, but at least I got to see him once. And Matt King's going to spend a week on a battleship -- should be interesting.
Posted by LYT at 1:29 AM | Comments (0)
February 27, 2004
Discuss
"If the American mainstream media had given Ralph Nader the coverage throughout 2000 that they gave him this past weekend, we would today have a strong, federally funded Green Party and President Gore would be seeking re-election this November.
The widespread belief that those who voted Green in 2000 were mostly registered Democrats is a myth. Only 38% of the 2.7 million votes that Ralph Nader garnered in 2000 were from Democrats; 25% were from Republicans; the rest were from Independents and others who would not have voted at all."
Oscar picks coming tomorrow
Posted by LYT at 7:13 PM | Comments (0)
Da na na na na na na na...ZACH MAN!
Big, weird, abnormal El Paso pal Zach Passero is in town, and despite the fact that I didn't find out from him, I made a few calls, determined his whereabouts, and then drank some whiskey in his presence while he and Shelli did some watercolors.
Zach's been doing music video work as of late (I linked to some of his work not long ago), and some of the stuff he's done with animation and live action made me think that perhaps "Dogsauce Bros." should be done that way too, if we could shoot it as a regular movie but avoid the whole permit issue by dropping out the backgrounds and using pictures instead -- some abstract, some representational. It would definitely give the film a unique look. I don't know if it's a feasible thing to do, but Dogsauce is on the back burner anyway because of another project. And Al DiMarco finally gave in to a certain costume demand I was making on his character so...should be something to see.
In a mild travesty of justice, it has apparently been determined that Jaye will not be doing the full-on score for THE WOODS. The good news is that so long as there's a soundtrack album (a real one, rather than a bunch of Nickelback and Foo Fighters B-sides "inspired by" the film), you will be able to own at least two really cool compositions by her bad self. Maybe she'll get some residuals, even.
Because of all the "Passionate Jesus who Bleeds" stuff recently, I forgot to mention before that on Tuesday I went down to Venice beach to shoot a DVD extra for THE MONSTER CLUB, the disc GW and I recently recorded commentary for. It's tough to find anyone associated with the 1980 Brit-horror-camp cult flick who isn't dead, but DVD producer Greg H. found one: Sean Barry Weske, who taught the ghouls in the movie how to use old fashioned slingshots (no elastic like contemporary ones -- we're talking the kind you twirl round and round to give momentum).
I interviewed Sean for around half an hour, covering such diverse topics as his website, his friendships with many notable names of British cinema, the feasibility of David taking down Goliath, and more. Then we went out to the beach to do some slinging.
There weren't any stones, so we used large lollipops. Sean was a master; I was offered the chance and probably looked like an idiot, but got the projectile vaguely in the right direction. My idiocy will be immortalized on disc for all to see, and I hope you dig it. It's a weird extra, but I think it'll be a fun one.
Posted by LYT at 4:44 PM | Comments (0)
February 26, 2004
Vote Jepublican!
Forget Bush and Kerry. Vote for a real candidate in 2004.
Posted by LYT at 1:52 PM | Comments (0)
February 25, 2004
Back to your regularly scheduled reviews
A brief paragraaph on Eurotrip
UPDATED: The Super Troopers boys strike back in Club Dread
Posted by LYT at 11:27 AM | Comments (7)
February 24, 2004
Passion Play
I arrive at the Sony lot at approximately 1:30, for the 2pm Monday screening of “The Passion of the one-and-only Jesus Christ.” There has been a 10 a.m. show, but only aging early risers like Kevin Thomas actually enjoy seeing a movie at that hour. A security guard asks if I’m there to audition: Noting my hair, he says he saw an actor on the lot in flag-colored pants and jacket. I tell him no, I’m here to see the Jesus movie. “Don’t go rooting for the Romans, now!” he says. I say that I heard they’re actually the good guys in the movie, and it’s the Jews who are villains. He utters some noncommittal response.
Entering the screening room, I head for the front, and sit beside a distinguished-looking couple. There’s an earring on the floor in front of me, so I ask the couple if it’s theirs. They take it, and seem to know who it belongs to. The man asks me if I work for the studio. I say no, I’m a movie reviewer. He seems pleased by that, and asks who I write for. I tell him the New Times chain, and he asks if the Village Voice is part of that. It isn’t, but at least he’s got the right concept, which is more than most people comprehend. He asks when my review will run, and I tell him we already have a New Times review by another writer, but I may do something for my own site. I tell him the URL, and he repeats it, then asks what the L stands for. I say Luke. He offers his hand.
“Luke, pleased to meet you. I’m Bob Dornan, and this is my wife Sally.”
Now, those of you not from California may need a bit of context here. Bob Dornan is a former Republican congressman from Orange County, a firebrand conservative in a similar camp to Wally George and Dr. Ted Baehr, known as “B-1 Bob” for his gung-ho military views. In Michael Moore’s book “Downsize This,” there’s a whole chapter in which Moore analyzes Dornan’s occasionally erratic behavior and then tries to have him committed. Needless to say, Bob and I are the sort of folks who you might not expect to see having a cordial conversation. Yet we were, and we were about to see a movie about loving your enemies, so why dwell on the disagreements? He’s certainly the last person I’d expect to see at a press screening, though “The Lonely Passion of Jesus H. Christ” is a special case, obviously.
Instead of politics, we discuss the merits of sitting in the front row of a theater. Bob and Sally and I agree that people who sit at the back are lame. Sally theorizes that it may be so they can watch the audience reaction (not a bad theory; I agree with Bob that the critic is supposed to go with one’s own reaction, but certainly if one dislikes a film and the audience loves it, that’s something to mention). I offer a theory of my own -- that one reason many critics don’t like action movies is that they sit way back at a distance, and don’t get immersed in the thing.
Bob says one of the museums in Europe has the nameplate from the original cross of Jesus, and it’s so frail looking you’d think it would turn to dust if you touched it. Sally asks what I thought of “Jesus of Nazareth.” I told her I remember liking it, but haven’t seen it since I was a kid. This leads to some discussion on the current whereabouts of actor Robert Powell.
Manohla Dargis and David Poland both mock my front-row stance. Jeff Wells simply waves hello.
So, onto the movie itself:
First of all, I’m not going to go into the background of whether or not the New Testament is anti-Semitic. Newsweek has a good piece on that you can read HERE.
As to whether or not “the Jews” killed Christ, I don’t think even fundamentalism really supports that. John 3:16, the favorite Bible verse of many a devotee, clearly states that God Himself sent his son to die, because he so loved the world.
As to historical accuracy, Jeff Wells did a good piece on that some months ago. Nails through the palms = unrealistic for supporting a man’s weight, despite what Audioslave songs might have you believe (and Aramaic and Latin might not be the correct languages, historically; even Movieguide says so). The ersatz-Catholic thriller “Stigmata” explained this. Still, Mel Gibson’s a devout Catholic, and most crucifixes show nails through the palms. Also indicating the Catholic perspective is the use of all the Stations of the Cross.
And those are...? Basically, Catholics have blocked out the entire march to the cross scene-by-scene, and each scene is a “station,” expanding on things mentioned merely in passing in one gospel or another. Among other things, the stations spell out exactly how many times Jesus fell down.
In general, I’m going to assume that “plot spoilers” are irrelevant to the bestest story ever known. Mel adds a few things that aren’t in the Gospels, though. Among other things, after Jesus is captured, en route to the Sanhedrin, he is wrapped in chains and thrown off the side of a bridge bungee-jump style, probably cracking his ribs. Judas (Luca Lionello) is at the foot of the bridge, and he shudders to see this. Then a CGI wolf-demon briefly materializes behind Judas. Not making this up.
As to anti-Semitism: Well, I guess it goes without saying that I’m not Jewish. I can’t experience this movie as a Jew. David Poland, who is Jewish, finds it anti-Semitic. I don’t (in contrast, David doesn’t find “In America” racist, while I do). First of all, even though Jesus is played by lilywhite Jim Caviezel (albeit with brown contacts and darkened skin), there are a mix of Jews with traditionally “Semitic” facial features and those without on both sides. As to the Jewish priesthood, Mel makes it clear that they don’t all agree about executing Jesus, and after the execution, when God fucks up their shit in the Temple, they all seem to regret it. Many people will take from this movie whatever baggage they brought in. I could make a case that the film’s point is that religious nutbags are insensitive fuckheads who support the inhumane death penalty even when it’s clearly wrong.
Gays and transgenders should be more offended than Jews. King Herod is depicted as an obese mincing queen, while Satan (Rosalinda Celentano) appears as an androgynous, bald woman with a man’s voice. If Satan looked like Dustin Hoffman, we could talk serious anti-Semitism, but this devil seems like a butch lesbian to me.
I am concerned that fundamentalist parents will take their children to this and give them nightmares for the rest of their lives. Not only is the film brutal in its torture of Christ -- at one point, a cat o’nine tails sinks into his flesh and sends little chunks of Jesus-meat flying into the face of a Roman torturer -- it’s also scary: Satan has an army of demon-children, whose faces occasionally morph into those of hairy old men. One of the kids bites a chunk out of Judas’ arm. There’s a dead donkey consumed by maggots. A crow pecks out the eye of a man who’s still alive. I once joked about Spawn creator Todd McFarlane doing gruesome Jesus toys, but this movie would be no stretch at all. Movieguide hypocritically considers this film acceptable to all ages, but it is most definitely not, no more so than “When the Wind Blows” (a cartoon about old people dying from nuclear war) was for me at age 6.
Gibson’s a bombastic director -- we know this. I know the dove is the symbol of the Holy Ghost, but cinematically, a slo-motion dove is the symbol of past-his-prime John Woo. Slo-mo is excessive here. The ancient language is a nice touch, way better than Shakespearean English or Marty Scorsese’s Brooklyn street talk. I do applaud the subtitles, though. The most subtle touch is when the woman, I think named Veronica, wipes Jesus’ face en route to Calvary, and an imprint of his face appears on her cloth. Gibson doesn’t hammer that image home, but lets us catch it if we can.
I may sound like I’m dogging the movie, but overall, I think it’s a good one. It packs a helluva punch, and you feel every ounce of the brutality. In dealing with just the last day of Jesus’ life, the movie basically depicts the pacifist Jesus, the one who preaches love, as opposed to the intolerant, genocidal bastard who appears in John’s dream in Revelation. The flick shows Jesus as a man, humanizing him rather than making him an abstract holier-than-thou symbol. There’s a flashback scene showing him working as a carpenter that adds much-needed humanity -- that he’s impudent to his mother, even in jest, during that scene implies that he may not have been so sinless after all. The most brutal moment in the film is when Jesus falls in front of his mother’s eyes, and we flash back to toddler Jesus falling on the hard ground in front of younger mom. Any kid can relate.
Gibson also gives some good moments to the supporting cast. Relatively obscure players like Barabbas (closest thing to comic relief we get) and Simon of Cyrene get some of the best moments.
Scripturally, I have one or two issues -- the film opens with a quote from Isaiah, and many serious scholars believe Isaiah was predicting a Messiah for his day, NOT Jesus, as was retroactively proclaimed. Also, Mary Magdalene (Monica Bellucci, showing up solely to look pained) is depicted as the prostitute from the “He who is without sin, cast the first stone” story; as far as I remember, the Bible never says that was her -- it was just assumed later.
Hey Mel, I have to ask, what’s up with your nose fetish? Satan has a maggot crawl out of her nose and back in again, while Judas, during the first Sanhedrin trial, scratches his nose against the temple wall repeatedly. Does he have allergies? Is he drunk? Whassupwitdat? Is it a Semitic thing?
Major kudos, though, on the handling of Peter’s (not-related-to-Danny Francesco De Vito’s) threefold denial: I’ve seen it done before, but this is the first time I’ve believed and understood why he’d be that way.
Also cool is the way the resurrection is handled. Some may find it too Terminator-like, but I found it a welcome understatement within the sermon.
So what if you don’t believe? Hey, I don’t believe it literally, but it is a movie, after all -- it’s a great story, too, certainly as compelling as “Dead Man Walking.” Think of it as sci-fi: A being with near-endless power (Galactus, maybe?) is disappointed in his creation, but to preserve it, makes himself vulnerable on the same level so that his creations may torture and kill him, and he can share in their weaknesses in order to provide redemption. If you didn’t know that was a Bible story, you’d go see it. C’mon.
Have to admit, though, I am curious as to how my more vehemently atheistic friends will react.
Bob’s wife Sally was in shock afterwards, I just nodded and said, “I know.” It’s a strong film, and I imagine many Christians who consciously shield themselves from graphic violence may never have experienced anything like it.
Manohla Dargis, meanwhile...well, I guess I shouldn’t spill the beans, since she’s working on her own piece. But the hate mail should be interesting.
Posted by LYT at 11:59 PM | Comments (24)
February 23, 2004
The Sounds of Silence
With my recent houseguest now gone (he had the TV on most of the time), things are very quiet here. Cleaner, too (not because he left, but because he did some serious cleaning work for me while here). I've almost raised my standard of living from "landfill" to "untidy bachelor pad."
Today, Jesus brought me and a conservative Republican ex-congressman together. Don't believe me? Stay tuned for details on Wednesday.
Meanwhile, Ralph Nader's running for president again, this time as an independent. I most likely won't vote for him this year -- if I go third-party, as I usually do, I'd feel better supporting Peter Camejo or Leonard Peltier [UPDATE: Peltier's presidential website IS HERE] -- but it blows my mind that people can take such offense at his run. It's a free country! EVERYONE is supposed to have the right to run! If you think Nader's siphoning voters away from your cause, talk to those voters. Take issue with those voters. Figure out if you can address their concerns any better. But blaming someone for offering an alternative voice is, as far as I'm concerned, anti-American, and I don't use that term very often.
Most amusing, though, is that Al Sharpton accused Nader of being on an ego-trip.
Yes, Al Sharpton.
Posted by LYT at 7:09 PM | Comments (2)
Dave Rocks
If you're not watching Chappelle's Show on Comedy Central, check out these clips and you will wonder what took you so long.
Note: If you get an "unexpected error" from any link on this site, try just hitting "refresh."
Posted by LYT at 12:32 PM | Comments (2)
February 21, 2004
God Help Us
Movieguide just published a bunch of new articles proclaiming, among other things, that John Kerry is evil and that almost half the pastors in America do not have a "biblical" worldview.
Posted by LYT at 4:02 PM | Comments (5)
February 20, 2004
Jeezus Christ!
Been hanging out lately with a certain Mr. Jacobson, who's helping me make my apartment presentable (sort of like "even straighter eye for the straight guy"). Also I'll soon be seeing some Mel Gibson movie or other, "The Passion of the Jesus Christ whut's in that thur Bible" or something. Am not reviewing for New Times, but will probably write my thoughts on it here once the movie's opened.
Flashes of last night's party are coming back to me. It took place in a production studio, which was odd. No bar, except a coffe/juice bar with supplies safely locked away. Food and beverages were en route, we were told. Meanwhile, someone has one bottle of Ketel One. Some generous soul. I don't remember who. Ketel One impairs memory.
The food was kinda lame, proving that one can't have everything. We got free books, free beers once they arrived, and free food -- but not good food. Many single guys in attendance were drawn to the female servers, though. I think Corey "Hobbit" Levitan scored a phone number. Usually the free food is good and the drinks freakin' pricey. I think this way around, all-in-all, is better.
The book is entitled Hollywood Interrupted. Haven't read it yet, but I just noticed the top blurb on the back cover is by Ann Coulter, which isn't the greatest of omens.
Jack seemed to hit it off good with Norm Jensen. Arianna Huffington was in the house, though I wasn't sure it was her -- she seemed too tall! I guess when one is lying drunkenly on the floor, people do appear that way.
Part of the lame food was gray chunks of beef in Jack Daniel's sauce. A desecration of a good beverage.
Cathy Seipp thinks I need a "Queer Eye" makeover. I tell her the lowbrow thing is part of my appeal. She says I only think it is.
Having told me several parties ago that hair dye is for women and homos, a certain Jewish blogger publicly admits now that he dyes his hair. He gets many compliments on it nonetheless.
More than one person asked me when Rick Barrs is coming to visit. I have no idea.
Pat Saperstein, in an eye-catching red coat, reconnects with a woman she hasn't seen since junior high. Also Michael Collins, whom she went to high school with. Michael claims he's going to write about me in every issue of 8-Ball from now on. I will respond by endlessly repeating the "happy drunk" line he once castigated me for.
Michael doesn't drink. But if he did, he'd be a happy happy HAPPY DRUNK.
Jack, having decried Budweiser a few nights previous, drinks Coors at first, which is way worse. Eventually Heineken shows up.
David Poland and Jeff Wells took turns more-or-less trashing Eurotrip. My brief paragraph review will appear in NT publications on Thursday, but suffice it to say that both I and my date liked it a lot. Wells is correct that the fake CG backdrops of European landmarks look pretty bad, but I found it to be almost a part of the joke after a while. And Vinnie Jones behaves like my friend Steve "Facking Tossah!" Davy when drunk.
Posted by LYT at 4:19 PM | Comments (3)
UPDATE, BECAUSE SOME DUMBASS ASKED
To VIEW the comments, once one has been posted, the thing at the end of each post that says "1 Back-talkers" or whatever number it is...you click on that.
Posted by LYT at 12:53 AM | Comments (8)
February 19, 2004
NEW BLOG! NEW BLOG! NEW BLOG! YEEEAHHHHH!
It looks the same, but it ain't. Those of you who link to me and have chosen to link directly to this blog may want to update your links, though I think the old ones should still work.
Here's what's changed:
1. YOU CAN LINK TO INDIVIDUAL POSTS. This was a pain in my ass for a while. Blogger could do it briefly, then not. But now, you can link individual posts by clicking on the "link" button under each post, then cutting and pasting the URL.
2. YOU CAN SEARCH THE BLOG. So if you're looking for the Bruce Campbell photos, just type "Bruce Campbell" into the search box.
3. YOU CAN ADD COMMENTS. Click on "Talk Back!" at the bottom of each post. I'm expecting all my closet right-wing readers to come out of the woodwork and berate me now. Rules for comments are like those of the message board: No personal attacks against other posters, and if you get too off topic, I'll ask you to take it to the message board. Comments should be related to the post only. The message board is for everything else.
4. MOST OF THE ARCHIVES ARE STILL ONLINE. Old broken links didn't get transferred, and some posts have been amalgamated into different days. But most anything worth a damn that I wrote on this blog since Oct 2002 is still accessible in the archives.
Also there was a press club party tonight. I brought my itinerant friend Jack, and got blitzed. Don't remember much, except Michael Collins denying that he was drunk.
Posted by LYT at 11:03 PM | Comments (3)
February 18, 2004
Howard's End
from Counterpunch:
Cattle in a Pen
(Goodbye Howard Dean)
By STAN COX
with apologies to Bernie Taupin and Elton John
Goodbye Howard Dean.
Though I never backed you at all,
You could glimpse reality,
And make those around you bawl.
You said Don't take sides with Israel,
And they made you feel the pain.
You questioned 9/11,
And they made you slink in shame.
And it seems to me we live our lives
Like some cattle in a pen,
Never knowing who to vote for
Till the returns are in.
Our eyes are on November
Where the treasure's hid.
The ideas burned out long before
The losers ever did.
As the dentist checked Saddam,
You said We are no more secure.
And your fellow Democrats?
They buried you in deep manure.
Even as you faded,
Oh the press still hounded you.
All the papers had to say
Was that Howard always flubs his cue.
And it seems to me we live our lives
Like some cattle in a pen,
Never chewing what's not fed us
By the suited men.
From now until November
They're keeping on the lid.
The ideas burned out long before
The losers ever did.
Posted by LYT at 2:02 AM | Comments (0)
February 17, 2004
I'm melting...I'm melting!
Get your plush Ebola Virus toy now!
(link courtesy of Tom Tomorrow)
Posted by LYT at 2:02 AM | Comments (0)
February 15, 2004
News from the 2004 New York Toy Fair, part one
Not a whole lot of new stuff to report this year, but here's something:
Thoughts: Looks like Jakks finally created a new torso type for slightly fat wrestlers. Studd, Slaughter, and Flair look great. Ditto Mankind, though I hope his mask is nonremovable (the removable one seldom stays on). Love the new headscan on Flair.
George Steele needs a thorough body-hair paint job like the A-Train figure. A hairless George is pointless.
and Dude Love? What about him is "classic"? Surely Cactus Jack would have been a better choice.
Predictions of future Classics:
Rocky Maivia and Mr. Perfect -- they've already been sculpted, and were set for release a couple years back, then canned.
Diesel and Razor Ramon -- a few tweaks to existing Scott Hall and Kevin Nash figures, and you've got it.
'80s Hulk Hogan -- ditto.
Shawn Michaels in the Rockers -- ditto
longshot, but possible -- Rowdy Roddy Piper. He left the WWE on bad terms, but he maybe could use the money.
Jake the Snake Roberts -- needs cash to buy crack, probably
Legion of Doom -- Animal's brother still works for WWE
Brooklyn Brawler -- arguably not a classic, but he's been with the company longer than any other active wrestler
blue-suited Vince McMahon -- dunno if it would sell, but I'd buy one, especially if Jesse Ventura also gets made
Yokozuna -- he's dead, and his family is tight with Vince
Posted by LYT at 2:01 AM | Comments (0)
Dogtown, Z-boy
Zach Passero, director of the Super Transient film on this site's main page, has just completed two music videos for the band Preston School of Industry.
UPDATE: Justin Stone writes --
"wow. and thanks for the link. i just checked out lytrules...
but again my annoying vain side (you know this side of people!) has to say WE DIRECTED CAUGHT IN THE RAIN TOGETHER!!! WITH CHRIS HEINRICH!!!
i ain't got much in this world, but i like what i got.
thanks for the link!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "
Deserter-in-chief
Kevin Drum has a piece on the Bush-National Guard issue that everyone needs to read.
Posted by LYT at 2:00 AM | Comments (0)
February 13, 2004
Clips 'n' Cuts
LOVINDAPOCALYPSE III
If any of you have ever wanted to see LYT, Angela Bettis, Justin Stone, Al DiMarco, Kevin Ford and others all in the same movie, CLICK HERE and scroll down to the Lovindapocalypse III clips.
of course, Dogsauce Brothers will likely have all of them as well, if they say yes...
Ripper me this
McFarlane isn't the only one with an upcoming Jack the Ripper toy. Mezco has unveiled their stupid-looking version.
NEW "UNTIL THE NIGHT" TRAILER
And the very last shot's a killer.
If you have Quicktime and a high-speed connection, CLICK HERE NOW
Otherwise, CLICK HERE, select trailer #1, and choose your player and speed.
Also, blink and you'll miss acting genius Douglas Dunning getting glass broken over his head.
Posted by LYT at 1:58 AM | Comments (0)
February 11, 2004
Topics du jour
So why haven't I said anything about Janet Jackson showing hooter during halftime?
Mainly because I don't really care. Janet Jackson bores me, and I'm not attracted to her.
A day long-awaited for some
Figures.com is reporting that NECA, in its long tradition of grabbing figure licenses McFarlane never bothered to get despite popular demand, will be making action figures based on Pirates of the Caribbean and Pulp Fiction.
The surprise here is that I thought Hasbro had an exclusive deal to make toys based on Disney movies (of which Pirates is one). Maybe their deal only covers cartoons.
There's too much crap on my TV
Here in L.A., the last half hour of the Saturday Night Live rerun was pre-empted by a 30-minute Joe Lieberman infomercial. Anyone else?
I thought Lieberman was opposed to offensive TV programming.
That Looney Louie
Good news from Louis C.K.
"CBS has decided, officially to pick up my sitcom pilot, which means we are definitely shooting it this April."
Louis, if you read this, and your show is one of those taped in front of a live audience deals, I want to be there. I'll even wear a disguise if you don't want to see any familiar faces in the crowd.
Posted by LYT at 1:51 AM | Comments (0)
February 10, 2004
One year ago, today...
Forgive this bit of nostalgia, but since I'm in the midst of transferring every fucking blog entry ever (OK, not quite -- some are too trivial) to a new system, I thought it'd be fun to see what I did a year ago at this time.
The answer? I was at Ben Affleck's house.
"Now, I'm fully aware I may come off as a bitchy would-be starfucker here, but bear with me. It was severly cold in Ben's garden, where the whole shindig took place. Folks gathered round the heatlamps. The one I chose was in fact soon swamped with celebs: Ben, J-Lo, and Matt Damon. They didn't talk to me. Surprise."
What a difference a year makes.
Other general thoughts: I do believe my blogging style has evolved. And why did I have to write so damn much?
In other news, The newest LYT/GW DVD commentary track was recorded this afternoon, and I think you'll enjoy it.
Posted by LYT at 1:57 AM | Comments (0)
February 7, 2004
Of Corset
Friday night. Time for a bondage show.
Bondage, burlesque, whatever. Just something to get me out of the house. Been having a guest over lately -- the legendary J.F. Jacobson, star of Neil LaBute's Nurse Betty -- and he made me a damn good meal tonight, but I felt the need to flee to alternate havens and head in the direction of the OC.
The lovely Corinda, having somehow failed to find suitable accompaniment to the Dita Von Teese burlesque show, had invited me along. We were scheduled to meet at the venue at around 8:45, so I left at about 7:15. Poor, foolish me.
I should have studied the mapquest directions more precisely, or gotten directions elsewhere. Apparently, I didn't turn left at exactly the right time, and missed the precise 101-605-405 transition. Went to the exit I was supposed to, and exited at the right street, but followed it for a while and got nowhere. Turned around and headed back to the freeway, hoping to at least end up in the right town.
Sorta got it, but overshot the mark and ended up in Newport Beach. Turned around again. Found the 405. Followed mapquest again. Found the theater on the wrong side of the road (numerically speaking), in a damn strip mall, barely visible from the road. No parking. Went to the lot across the road, where they were charging $5. By this time I was 2 hours late.
Gave up hope of ever finding Corinda, but thankfully I'm conspicuous as hell even at a fetish show, so she found me. She had bought me a ticket that I had not picked up, and I ahd paid also, so we were kinda out by $15, which sucks, but I'll buy her a ticket next time. Was relieved that I had made it there at all. I'd rather be thought of as a piss-poor navigator than a flake.
Though much of the show was over, I was privy to one more set by Dita, whose corset gives her a freakish hourglass figure. Part of her shtick is to spin around in a giant greased martini glass. Corinda, a huge fan otherwise, isn't keen on the breast implants. I think they work, but am more disturbed by the squished ribcage on the gal.
Having lectured me on proper dress for such a show, I'm surprised to see Corinda dressed so normally, in librarian gear (ironically more of a turn-on to me than burlesque dealies, but it's long been established that we're platonic). I wear a metallic red shirt with skulls, over a "F*ck Fear, drink beer" shirt.
We didn't win the raffle, dammit. All five of the people at one table seemed to win everything, suggesting a fix was on.
Bar didn't take credit cards either, They said the waitresses did, which would've been worth a damn if any such mythical creatures had materialized in our vicinity.
Not that I'm complaining -- this was a change of scenery, with good company. But after 2 straight hours driving, a few drinks woulda hit the spot.
Posted by LYT at 1:55 AM | Comments (0)
February 6, 2004
Wouldn't you believe it, it's just my luck...
When will schools, and American employers, learn the lesson of The Shining -- All work and no play makes Jack a dull (and ultimately, less productive) boy.
Chasing Amy
Just in case you haven't seen it linked elsewhere, a profile of party grrrl Amy Alkon.
Doggystyle
RiShawn Biddle on dog-raping.
Posted by LYT at 1:54 AM | Comments (0)
February 5, 2004
Dammit, Janet
Louis C.K. has the best reaction to the Janet Jackson breast incident:
(click on the quote to read the rest)
UPDATE: The worst reaction so far is from the L.A. Weekly's Nikki Finke:
Did you actually watch it, Nikki? Justin and Janet were bumping and grinding before the nip-slip, and she didn't look in any way shocked to me, nor did she scramble to cover it up. Haven't we retired the whole extremist-feminist notion that any kind of public heterosexual eroticism = rape? Janet admitted that she planned it -- is she somehow naively incapable of giving consent?
Click the quote above for more overreaction, including the assertion that, as far as TV content goes, misogyny equals profanity equals Republican bias:
"When it comes to Slime TV, it’s genuinely hard to say if NBC, ABC and Fox have cleaner hands than CBS. But even The New York Times this week suggested they do (even though Friends, in the previously sacrosanct 8 p.m. family hour, uses bitch in its dialogue, and NYPD Blue shows ass and talks about “assholes,” and Fox News continues to sneer at the Democratic presidential candidates). "
It's stuff like this that unjustly smears liberals as being on the side of repression and political correctness, allowing Republicans to claim they're the real party of free speech (a claim that can only be made by someone who's never lived in the South). Stop it. Try turning off your TV if you dislike it that much. Or, heaven forbid, try not owning a TV.
Posted by LYT at 1:53 AM | Comments (0)