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March 31, 2004
Rock n' Roll
My interview with The Rock is HERE.
I also took the picture that runs with it.
Posted by LYT at 10:21 PM | Comments (0)
Batting an Eyelid
As many of you have undoubtedly noticed, the new-look Batmobile for the upcoming prequel (yeah, yeah, but this one actually looks good) has been revealed.
On a totally unrelated note, since my full-time job ends this week, I went out for one last night of sushi, and decided I wanted to try live sweet shrimp. You don't eat 'em live; they cut off the heads and serve them.
I've had fresh raw shrimp before, but wanted to try eating something that was literally as freshly killed as can be. It wasn't as good as I expected, possibly because these were a bigger kind than I'd had before.
But here's the kicker: as a bonus, because I'm a regular there, they offered me one extra plate when I was done. On it were the deep-fried heads of my two executed shrimp. It is unbelievable how good these tasted. You deep fry anything long enough, it becomes good n' crunchy.
Raw scallops are still da bomb though.
Posted by LYT at 12:25 AM | Comments (6)
March 29, 2004
Just so everyone knows this is no April Fool...
...here's one of those BIG ANNOUNCEMENTS I may have hinted at in the past.
As of April 1, I am stepping down as film section editor for the New Times chain. The volume of reviews from me will be the same, but will be on a freelance basis.
The decision to step down was mine, in order to free up some time for my other film-related activities. Readers of this site know about The Dogsauce Brothers, and about Rainbowhead. More pressing is a project that could potentially be pretty major, but any public comment would be premature at this point.
Anyway, I've been inspired my many of my closest friends who have made similar leaps of faith with their careers. Not all of them are yet on financially stable ground, but they strike me as happy, and I'm always happier when I'm around them in that creative atmosphere.
In the meantime, if anyone would like to put me on TV, or the radio, or in a movie or something, I'm open.
New Times has always been very good to me, and I'm proud to be associated with them.
Posted by LYT at 3:17 PM | Comments (11)
March 27, 2004
Rockin' My World
I'm delirious right now. I just went ONE...on ONE...with the GREAT ONE.
20 minute interview with The Rock, that is. Am writing it up for New Times.
After that, any tidbits that don't make it into the paper, I may or may not share here, or on the message board where only the site faithful will find them.
I don't usually get star-struck, but this was amazing.
Posted by LYT at 10:23 PM | Comments (9)
March 26, 2004
Head...hurts...Brain...missing...
Cathy Seipp, a conservative who's surprisingly non-evil, is celebrating her one-year blog-a-versary, and writes:
"Luke Y. Thompson is not only such a witty commenter on other people's blogs, and has such a knack for cleverly defusing other commenters' nasty remarks while always remaining serenely unhostile himself, that when he asked me to put him on my blogroll off to the right, I did. I suppose I also cut him some sentimental, "Flowers For Algernon" slack because, look, the boy walks around town in a F**K BUSH t-shirt. Obviously part of his brain is missing. "
Posted by LYT at 6:20 PM | Comments (1)
Does wrestling reflect society?
Sometimes. So I wonder what to make of this past week's Smackdown, in which John "Bradshaw" Layfield, previously a fan-favorite beer-drinking redneck, got an image makeover as an evil filthy rich Republican complete with a new George W. Bush smirk (in real life, Bradshaw is often a financial consultant on Fox News. Yes, really -- he wrote a book about finances. This new image is closer to who he really is, possibly minus the "evil" part).
Bradshaw has been a big vocal Bush supporter in the past, but that used to be played up as a positive; now it's a negative. Interesting. I'm not saying it necessarily points to larger trends, but I'll feel more comfortable being able to boo Bradshaw with ease.
Posted by LYT at 4:56 PM | Comments (0)
Calling all who've had major car mishaps
If you've ever had your vehicle trashed by an incompetent driver ramming into it, or had to sue somebody for same, Jaye could probably use your advice right about now.
Posted by LYT at 4:15 PM | Comments (1)
March 25, 2004
Review Update
Donald Goines gets adapted for the big screen with DMX in Never Die Alone.
Quick take: It's another Shaggy dog story in Scooby-Doo 2.
Posted by LYT at 12:07 AM | Comments (0)
March 22, 2004
King of the Ocean
As promised, and kinda-sorta in commemoration of the 1-year anniversary of Operation Iraqi Freedom, LYTrules.com is proud to present webmaster Matt King's account of his trip aboard the USS Ogden. What follows is all Matt and a bag of chips, with only minor editing for clarity. -- LYT
I just recently participated in, what the Military calls a “Tiger Cruise”, where relatives of Servicemen can board a military ship fresh back from war. My cousin, LCpl. Erik Instinski just finished a 7 month tour on the U.S.S Ogden and asked me if I could join him for the week long journey from Pearl Harbor to Southern California.
Here’s a brief summary of my week long trip aboard the oldest ship in the Pacific Fleet.
First look.
I arrived in Pearl Harbor and stared into the harbor at the U.S.S Ogden. Holy shit this thing is huge. Huge guns on top, huge guns on the sides, huge flight deck and a huge rickety ladder I saw dangling off the side... Oh crap I’ve got to climb that thing to get aboard.
My “bedroom”.
Once aboard we go down one flight of stairs, walk down a hall, open and close two hatches, go down one more flight of stairs and into our “berthing”, my home away from home. I could not believe how small of an area it was… 4 racks (beds), from the floor to the ceiling, 4 times over, a picnic table and a couple of lockers. 16 marines sharing a space no bigger than my current bedroom. I was shocked. But we had it good, some berthings has 30 marines.
Well Deck.
The well deck (the entire center of the ship) is where all the amphibious crafts were kept; TRACS (amphibious tanks), Humvee’s, rubber boats, and a giant LCU (Landing Craft Unit, like the ones that stormed the beach at Normandy, but a whole lot bigger). This explains the lack of space in the berthings. To accommodate all the vehicles in the well deck, all the berthings are squeezed to the sides of the ship. I’m told the soldiers are secondary as this is an “attack ship”.
(Offloading Marines in the LCU, notice the Marine in the right corner giving the peace sign)
Smoke Deck & Flight Deck.
I immediately needed a smoke after seeing the berthings. From the berthing: Up one flight of stairs, through two hatches, up another flight of stairs to the Mess Deck, up another flight of stairs to the Flight Deck (only helicopters can land, although a Harrier jet tried once and burned a hole in the million dollar deck.), up another flight of stairs to Flight Deck 2, and up one final flight of stairs to the “Smoke Deck”. (I lost 10 pounds). The smoke deck is marked off with lines you must stay inside, 12 ft. by 12ft I’d say. (Hard to do when there’s 10-12 foot seas, 30 mph winds and 50 people trying to stay dry, warm and on two feet).
The Week.
I finally got settled in my berthing and tried to figure out how to get in my rack. You have to roll into it, avoiding hooks poking you in the back and the step handles, for the higher racks, from scraping your legs. The hooks are for latching a safety net from underneath your rack to the top to keep you from falling out during high seas. (I used it the first 2 nights) Once in, you better get comfortable. If you lift your head it’ll hit the rack above you, lift your feet and it’ll scrape against a metal box that houses an emergency breathing unit, move around too much and you’ll fall out.
The racks are 6 ft long exactly. I’m 5’ 11 ½ -- I was barely able to stretch out completely, many marines aren’t so lucky. The ship needs constant attention 24 hours a day. There’s always someone up, banging on pipes, going from here to there, checking levels, etc. It’s never quiet. Hatches are extremely loud to un-latch and you must always re-latch them as a safety measure. There were two in my berthing.
The “head” or bathroom was down the hall through 3 hatches. More than 30 marines shared 2 toilets, 1 shower and 1 urinal. What? No trough? The shower rarely had hot water and worked by pressing a button on a sprayer you held in your hand. “Wet down, soap up, rinse off” read the sign. Not many Marines took showers everyday, there wasn’t enough fresh water. The “heads” were cleaned everyday, but always smelled and looked like a sewer.
The 3rd night aboard the ship they took all the sheets, pillows, blankets and curtains from the Marines. I have no idea why. Most slept fully clothed and placed towels over their eyes to keep the light out. I felt guilty that they left my rack alone.
I spent only a week aboard; these guys have been aboard for 7 months. The conditions they were living in was nearly inhumane. And no I’m not a wuss. Many joked that criminals have it way better. I wouldn’t know, but I can imagine.
The first 2 days/nights was spent trying not to throw-up during the unusually high seas. Some others did, I felt proud I didn’t. To stay on two feet during high seas with nothing to hold on to is tougher than I thought. If you slipped or slid down the deck, there’s a “life-line” (a thin piece of wire) to catch you from going overboard. Trust me it wouldn’t have worked. And if you fall overboard you don’t have a chance to survive. The ship would run you over, you’d drown or you’d freeze to death. Even more difficult was going down stairs during the storm, while the wind and pitching was trying to launch you into the ocean. They closed the smoke deck many times. I slipped down stairs twice and hit my head numerous times, but got used it after awhile. The Mess Deck was hilarious during this time. Trays, bottles, some tables, anything that wasn’t tied down was sliding everywhere. (Think of some scenes from Titanic, no joke) – Only a few people fell but everyone always laughed.
The people.
600 men, 3 women (all officers) and lots of porno. Pick a jock, any jock. Now clone him 500 hundred times, put them on a shitty ship and expect them to behave. Conversation aboard the ship was minimal. Mostly, and not surprisingly, it was about chicks, getting laid and masturbating. I was 14 again and a jock this time! To pass the time, many Marines often dry-humped each other and called each other fags. I got propositioned for a hand-job, a butt raping and a “fuck-orgy”, but declined nicely. The ones in charge were no better: “I need all swinging dicks down here now! I need a blow!” or “Admit it Private, you like dick.” Not all were like this of course, some were married, and some had kids, but most were kids themselves. Most were below 25.
Activities.
Most of time aboard was spent in your rack, reading, sleeping or listening to music. “Sleep till you’re hungry, eat until your tired”. But they did have some special shows and tours for us civilians onboard. One day spent on showing us the weapons, one day spent shooting them, (no they wouldn’t let us shoot) – the ships guns were the most impressive and truly frightening. “Twin Mike-Mike’s” (two giant machine guns) were strapped to a sailor (did I mention there were Navy dudes [“squids”] on board?), he’d blast a couple rounds out at the ocean, probably killing some terrorist fish… no not really, but I heard stories of dolphins getting shot down. Surprisingly his guns jammed twice during the fire play. I was told that the guns on the ships deck jam a lot due to the salt water. Scary thought if you really need them. I heard a lot about the M-16A’s the Marines use (similar to the ones used in Vietnam) jamming up all the time (I witnessed this also). Many have taken a liking to the AK-47’s that the Iraqis use. They don’t jam and are fully automatic.
One day spent in and out of the Tanks and Humvee’s. By the way if you are thinking about joining the military, don’t be in a tank… There is no escape. I sat in the cockpit and asked if there’s was an escape hatch or something. Of course not. I asked what happens if you need to get out quickly. “Once your strapped in you have to accept your fate.” It took me 5 minutes to get into the gun turret; once in, I couldn’t move. It took me twice as long to get out. My cousin told me just two weeks before I boarded the ship, a Sergeant was driving the amphibious tank off the well deck and into the ocean for a mission and something went wrong. His tank started to sink. He spent two minutes sinking before he died, talking with his Captain the whole way down.
The last days were spent preparing the boat and gear for un-load. On the last day, 3 separate groups of Marines and civilians loaded the LCU’s and took off for shore. As each LCU left the Well Deck, Marines hooted and hollered back at the Ogden, glad to be going home. Once on the Camp Pendleton beach, some kissed the ground and others knelt in prayer. And once back at the barracks; family and friends greeted them with hugs and kisses of their own. Some Marines hugged their newborns for the first time and others called home. It was an amazing site to see.
Politics:
For those that know me, know that I’m a pretty strong liberal. With that said, I did not engage in politics aboard the ship. The last thing these Marines needed after spending 7 months in war was some stupid civilian up in their face. Most of what they went through they weren’t aloud to divulge, but I do know that this tour was a one-of-a-kind mission, teamed up with the Navy, they searched Asia, Africa and the Middle East for those “terrorist cells” we keep hearing about. Mostly recon missions: boat crews would float up to fishing boats and through rivers, confiscating oil, guns and money. Some Marines vocalized their disappointment with searching for oil, but most of them were glad to be, as they say, protecting our freedoms.
Conclusion:
Many people have asked me why, being such a liberal, I decided to board a military ship in support of a war for oil. I’ve responded like this: I do not support the effort in Iraq and I do not support war, but I would be a fool not to show respect for every one of the men and women aboard the Ogden and elsewhere, risking their lives for what they believe in. If all Americans had an ounce of their determination and courage, there wouldn’t be a need for a war.
(from inside the LCU, leaving the Ogden behind)
Posted by LYT at 10:51 PM | Comments (7)
Living on Video
So I went and saw The Dreamers, finally, on Saturday night. Woulda done a double feature but the Sunset 5 has stopped doing midnight shows except on special occasions (a couple of upcoming grade-Z horror spoofs with names like FROG-G-G and RECTUMA look to change that in a couple weeks). Prior to The Dreamers, projectionist Nick told me to get in the theater early to see a preview of the new Jim Jarmusch film COFFEE AND CIGARETTES. It's in black and white, and seems to consist mostly of two-person conversations -- Tom Waits and Iggy Pop, Steve Coogan and Alfred Molina, Jack White and Meg White, Bill Murray and RZA and GZA....but I was surprised to see the name of Cinque Lee in there with all those greats. I've never personally met Cinque, but he's a good friend and regular creative partner with Kevin Ford, so I feel like "one of our own" has hit it big. We're all on our way.
I liked The Dreamers quite a bit, not so much for its filmic references (many of which expose my own ignorance in certain areas), but its openness in dealing with sexuality. This could never have been anything less than an NC-17, and certainly most real-life people will not have sex partners of either gender who are as beautiful as the leads, but just the fact that it was naked and messy and awkward and emotionally confusing all at once resonated so much more than either Hollywood stylization or the grotesque mechanical nature of a lot of porn. I have to think some of the sex was real -- if not, good job faking it, Bernardo.
But speaking of friends on their way, I got to see a cut of my friend Shelli Merrill's film SATURN RETURNS, shot mostly during a train-hopping/hitch-hiking jag and featuring a mix of staged scenes and documentary-style looks at the people who do this all the time. Much of it is very compelling; the mix of fact and fiction is a little disconcerting sometimes, notably when an actress I happen to know shows up in the midst of a real hippie-style camp pretending to be one of them. As I told Shelli, it may only be an issue for me because I know the actress. It's a distinct film with a definite voice, and feels more confident than any film she's directed before. I think she'll keep getting better, and that's an awesome prospect.
I thought back to my own student film project, a short entitled Dumpster Poet, which was intended as documentary but also ended up featuring staged scenes (neither it nor Saturn Returns are presented as documentary, so we're not being dishonest as far as I'm concerned) I wonder if there's something about our generation that's bringing this about as a new art form? Kevin Ford's films often follow a similar philosophy. And why is it that people our age like this form -- my intial thought is that perhaps it's because we're the first generation who fully experienced camcorder-based home movies, and as adults have subconsciously decided to twist that form.
Before and after the movie, we listened to the Doug Ramsey show, part of Kevin's latest project Freek Radio. This Ramsey guy has great radio patter; I hope he can make an even bigger career of it. On the down-low, I hear he has some major guests lined up...
Then, on the way out, I peered in Lucky's window and saw John R. Leonetti, the fantastic D.P. from THE WOODS. It's impossible not to be in a good mood hanging around "Leo." He's headed back to Canada pretty soon to shoot something else. Hope for his sake that it's starting to get warmer there.
I drank some white wine that I shouldn't have -- woke up with a headache. White wine never treats me well, even when I'm moderate with it.
Also, I apparently now have the reputation of being the guy who likes unflattering photos of Angela Bettis. As if such a thing has ever existed...
Posted by LYT at 5:40 PM | Comments (3)
March 21, 2004
More Merchandise
New DVDs have been added to the merchandise page, including pre-orders for FRESHMEN (featuring Sandra Tsing Loh's dad) and THE MONSTER CLUB (starring Vincent Price, John Carradine, Donald Pleasance, and the guy who played Bob Geldof's father in THE WALL).
Please, if you're gonna buy them at Amazon, click over there via the links on my merch page. It makes me look like a good affiliate, and costs you nothing extra.
Posted by LYT at 9:51 AM | Comments (1)
March 20, 2004
Weird mixed messages in my junk e-mail
The following email comes from "avouch@ripped-off-my-tits.com":
"Good evening.
It never occurs to some politicians that Lincoln is worth imitating as well as quoting.
Lyt, looking for a place to order medicatiWIon?
Cheap ViagMjra and CialRMis.
Fast weight (cannabine basiarachnitis) loss and anti depressant medicatiwcon!
Best offers on ValiuBhm and XanaGXx.
Super deals, 80 prencet off!
We are able to ship woldrwide
Your easy solution is here:
http://www.w3e4ds.com/
You are absolutely anonymous!
It is books that teach us to refine our pleasures when young, and to recall them with satisfaction when we are old.
Curiosity is one of the permanent and certain characteristics of a vigorous mind."
Philosophy and Viagra? What more does one need?
Posted by LYT at 7:04 PM | Comments (2)
Obligatory Observational Post
Didn't want to let the day pass without observing that it's been a year to the day that the Iraq invasion began. Nothing much to say that hasn't been said, except that I really do hope Iraq becomes a great democracy, and that the war hasn't stretched us too thin to fight the real terrorists. But forgive me if I often fear otherwise.
It's not exactly timed to today, but as many of you know, my good friend Matt recently spent some time aboard a battleship with marines en route home from fighting the war on terror in various fronts. His account was so entertaining to me that I've asked him if he'd consider writing about it for this blog, and maybe supplying some photos. He sounded amenable. I think it'll be fun if he can find the time to write.
Posted by LYT at 6:43 PM | Comments (1)
Heads-up for Hollywood Alcoholics
That new mall at La Brea and Santa Monica, the one with the Target, just opened a phenomenally huge liquor store called "Beverages and More." There's a coupon in the LA Times today that gives you $10 off a $30 purchase, for this weekend only. Also, they have their own frequent shopper card that marks things down even more.
This place is astonishing. In addition to wine, beer, cider, whole kegs, etc., they also have an aisle of obscure sodas (no Mello Yello, though I put in a request -- 3 types of Jolt, though, including a blue kind I never saw before), imported candy and cookies (any British expats need McVitty's digestives? Over here), fancy salsas and mustards, cigars, and massive size bottles you won't find at your grocery store.
A certain McKee family favorite is available in a size bigger than any I've ever seen before. That's all I'm sayin'.
Also in store: Belgian lambics, European fruit liqueurs like framboise, and....wine-flavored vodka. Talk about overkill.
Check out their website at www.bevmo.com
Posted by LYT at 5:15 PM | Comments (1)
March 19, 2004
"Dumbest thing we've ever done"
The Passion incites one couple to violence...but not against Jews.
Posted by LYT at 12:43 PM | Comments (3)
Plenty o' room at the Hotel Figueroa...
...room enough to accomodate some large dinner party of doctors as well as the press club folks, at least.
I took the subway to downtown, because I could. As there was some sort of athletic contest at Staples Center, parking probably would have been hell anyhow. At the Hollywood/Vine station, I'm coerced into buying M&Ms from a guy who works for some Christian ministry that helps people kick booze, drugs, and depression by hooking them on Jesus instead.
En route to the hotel, a homeless guy compliments my shirt. It's the Steve Austin football jersey, with "F*ck fear" on the front, and "#1 beer drinker" on the back. He tells me he needs a beer. I give him a buck.
The hotel courtyard is full of people I don't recognize. I try to sit at the bar and get a drink, and some busybody chick acting on behalf of the dinner party keeps flitting from side to side of my position, demanding more free drinks for her party. I hate these people already.
Eventually Cathy shows up with daughter "Cecile DuBois" and Emmanuelle. They set up an amplifier. We are here to listen to Sandra Tsing Loh go off on her dumbass ex-employers at KCRW [in case you don't follow L.A. media, the deal is this: Sandra pre-recorded a bit with the f-word in it. Her engineer was supposed to beep it out before it aired, and didn't. Sandra was promptly fired]. Given that the last couple of press club parties have been in celebration of right wingers, I'm happy to support a free speech issue.
Luke Ford shows up early and feigns righteous indignation at my jersey, which he alleges will corrupt Cecile (she high-fives me in response). I tell him I'm proud to see him coming out to support profanity. He claims he's here to protest it, and since he doesn't drink, or eat the free hors d'oeuvres, he has plausible deniability, though I suspect he's just scoping for chicks. I might be too, if I were any good at it.
The whole Sandra situation has been slightly overkilled in the L.A. blogosphere, but I have to say she seems pretty kickass (shame she's married!). My odd connection to her is that I just did commentary for the movie FRESHMEN, which features her dad, a nonactor, as the grandfather of the lead character, played by writer/director Tom Huang. Cathy hands out "No Loh, no dough" stickers, and I tell Emmanuelle to put one on my forehead. Moxie will later ask me if such a thing is worth it even if I get a rash. Silly question. Shameless conspicuousness is ALWAYS worth it. Cecile places one just above her cleavage, which I tell her will attract inappropriate glances. She asks who will care; I suggest a certain individual with the same first name as me.
Kate Coe, who incorrectly "corrected" me on two different sites about the word gauauauauntlet, introduces herself, expressing the possibility that I could have hit her (I never hit women unless they hit first). She seems nice, though I can't quite get her to admit I was right. She mentions that she knows a girl who might be right for me -- said girl's major qualities are that she's right wing and a drug addict, apparently. Why this would suit me, I have no idea.
Several people ask me for my exact cross-street in Hollywood. I hope a lynch mob is not being planned. I suspect it's because they can't believe anyone in his right mind would use the subway who didn't live right by it. Rand Simberg lives near a green line station with a sci-fi theme, which is perfect for him.
Matt Welch has now agreed to be in Dogsauce Brothers. Can't tell you in what capacity, but it will be genius.
Sandra delivers a profane speech that kicks ass (Marnye would be proud) and is all off the record, name-checking me at the end for my f-word fashion sense. Note to any and all employees at the office of High School Dublin: Eat a big fat c***. Oops, did I just say something inappropriate for your beloved pupils?
It's embarassing how many people I meet at these things that I forget by the next one. Gonna try to remember Travis, a.k.a "nep," next time out.
The spotlights at Staples stood out against the sky like giant Q-tips being waved at God's ear.
Food variety not great -- spanakopita, potato puffs, quiche, and mushroom pastry (basically everything was salty pastry with a little bit of equally salty filling of some variety). Disappeared too quickly too. At least the drinks were reasonably priced.
On the way out, I run into the same homeless guy, still wanting beer money. I remind him I gave him a buck. "Yeah, for a can," he says, "Nigga needs a forty."
He had me there. Two bucks for a forty.
At the subway, I wait what feels like 45 minutes for the last train. I guess the time delay sobers me up some. Gotta be up at 7:45 to be on KFNX radio in Phoenix, by phone. Little do Phoenix listeners know I'm in my undies when they hear my voice.
UPDATED: Photo of me and Cathy
Posted by LYT at 1:39 AM | Comments (9)
March 18, 2004
Mucho Madness
Those action figures based on historical maniacs have all been revealed now.
Clearly, historical accuracy is not an issue. Jack the Ripper's "cybernetic" wooden leg, Rasputin with hooks in his back, Vlad with a bat-winged sword?
This stuff is too silly for me to sustain any serious objection to it. Attila and Elizabeth look worth having, Rasputin maybe (I like the set-up, but the figure itself looks a little goofy).
Billy's a boring cowboy toy, Jack is a highly uninteresting interpretation (would rather have a "From Hell" ripper), and Vlad is iffy.
Posted by LYT at 12:36 PM | Comments (2)
The inappropriate alumnus
"Dear Mr Thompson
When the school lists a website, it is for the purpose of present pupils
gaining an understanding of the work area in which a past pupil is engaged,
within the concepts explained in the introduction to our registry. The
websites listed are screened and yours was removed from the listing some
time ago. This may have to do with bad language, inappropriate content for
the age group, inappropriate links, etc. We do not enter into
correspondence with regard to the reasons and we do not imply any criticism
of your work or your website. We have responsibilities with regard to what
we list for the attention of juveniles from the age of 12 upwards.
Thank you for registering with highschooldublin.com We suggest that if you
wish to publicise your website to your peer past pupils, you e-mail the
address to them directly."
LYT adds: Ironically, I'm probably their best known alumnus since W.B. Yeats. Watch them try to embrace me in a couple of years.
If you think they made a mistake, feel free to email office@highschooldublin.com
UPDATED: I doubt it would do any good to write to them, but here's what my response would have been --
Dear “office,”
Ireland has changed a great deal in the years since I left it, but it appears some things remain the same. While a pupil at the High School, I was more than once made the object of ridicule by careers guidance counselor Robin Miller for expressing an interest in the entertainment industry. Now that I actually have made inroads into such a career, you deem the website promoting such to be inappropriate viewing for students who might wish for a similar career path (and you only tell me this after repeated requests on my part to update my profile). There is no sex or violence on my site; thus I can only assume that you may have seen some profanity, which I imagine your students will encounter at some point if they study literature in any serious fashion -- The Canterbury Tales, for example, are bawdier than anything I could ever write.
My written criticism is read by upwards of a million people each week, my commentary is featured on several best-selling DVDs, I have an L.A. Press Club award, I was a published author at the age of 10, and I have upcoming roles in more than one feature film. How many other alumni can say the same? How many current students would like to have a similar career, do you think?
I’m sorry my career as an entertainer is so offensive and inappropriate in your eyes. Sorrier still that those lonely pupils who might actually benefit from contacting me have been denied a significant outlet to do so.
Posted by LYT at 10:21 AM | Comments (7)
March 17, 2004
Battle of the Pundits
Liberal author Al Franken and conservative author Rich Lowry critique one another's books, and have their critiques fact-checked by the (moderately liberal) hosts, at Spinsanity.org.
There's a lot to read, but it's well worth it. Not only is it entertaining, but it's mostly substantive debate.
Posted by LYT at 3:14 PM | Comments (0)
Items of varying interest
Ben Affleck tries for a tough guy makeover. Ugh.
American conservatives seem unduly upset and surprised that, following a terrorist attack, the government of Spain is acting unilaterally, nationalistically, and inconsistently with past alliances and/or obligations. How dare they? Only we get to do that!
And one for St. Paddy's day, or "La 'le Padraig": There's a street in Hollywood near where I live called La Brea. It's derived from Spanish, and I don't know what it means. In Irish, however, "La Brea," pronounced "law braw," means "great day." Uncharacteristically, I have no plans for massive drunkenness tonight, but enjoy yours, and if you ask a Dogsauce Brother to make you a drink, don't expect to drive home for at least the next six hours.
Posted by LYT at 1:46 PM | Comments (4)
Review Update
Hooters! Angelina Jolie chases some dude who's Taking Lives.
Posted by LYT at 11:57 AM | Comments (0)
March 16, 2004
I just whupped your ass! What?
Happy 3:16, everybody!
Posted by LYT at 2:58 PM | Comments (0)
March 15, 2004
Adventures in Inebriation
Who’s afraid of the big bad wolf, the big bad wolf, the big bad wolf...
One of the bad things about working at home in an urban neighborhood (and no, “urban” is not a euphemism for “black”) is that ice cream trucks show up. A lot. And the latest motherfucker plays a bastardized music box version of that big bad wolf song. If life hadn’t driven me to drink a long time ago, the ice cream truck would be the instigator.
Funny how Friday night culminated with Jaye and I surmising that nothing was going on. That changed.
Dunno if you heard us on killradio Friday -- I’m guessing not, based on the live statistics I checked as we were on -- but it was fun. Jaye played some songs and promoted some projects, and I barraged John Daily with homosexual come-ons, which appeared to make him indignant, but during the music breaks he told me to do it more.
Then Saturday night, Lucky McKee decided to have an honest-to-goodness invite-only party, with food and wine and stuff. Jaye’s been giving his apartment a makeover, which involved (among other things) putting the bed into the designated bedroom. Funny, even at college Lucky’s pads often had the bed in the wrong room somehow.
The goal for this party was to have more females than males, and that was definitely achieved at certain times. At one point, there seemed to be a whole bevy of beautiful black women, but they seemed to disappear very quickly. Well, except one.
Al DiMarco may have made a tactical error in asking me to fix him a screwdriver. Some advice for all of you: Be very careful when asking a Dogsauce brother to bartend. Al’s a big guy, but my tolerance level can be humbling, and I mix drinks in my own proportions, which are proportions I learned from Rick “The Finger” Barrs. Al ended up slouched outside against the wall for a time, unable to rise, where I joined him briefly after the heavy amounts of beer mixed with raw vegetables made swallowing difficult for me (does that happen to anyone else in similar combos?). I literally was not able to swallow beer for a while, and had to cough it back up. So I appropriated Al’s 7up, lubed up my throat again and got back to it. Al later went inside and slept for about an hour, during which time his unconsciousness was duly mocked.
Most of the usual gang was there: Shelli (who just finished editing her new film), Chris (unusually spry -- generally the guy has a poker face that makes mine look like Richard Simmons or Drew Casper, but on this occasion, he got rowdy and actually managed to suavely limbo-slide under the table), K-Fo, Angela, Steeples...but I was also glad to finally talk to two other acquaintances in the circle who were somewhat new to me: Leslie (production designer for MAY) and Jenny (actress who played Jill in MAY’s film-within-a-film “Jack and Jill”). Both lovely and charming, and probably irritated by my inability to comprehend much -- the beers took action quicker than usual that night, so I vaguely remember saying “What?” a lot, like Steve Austin on morphine.
Major-movie-star-to-be Lauren Birkell apparently reads this site every day, yet has never posted. For shame! Some people can be such a wuss sometimes...
I really, really love it when I leave at 4:30 a.m. and the party is still going strong. That’s a fuckin’ party, people.
And yes, I too did the limbo under the table bit, exposing my non-6-packed stomach to the world. I’ll do anything a cute chick tells me to, just about.
It just occurred to me that I actually do have a 6-pack stomach, provided one uses the original meaning of the term 6-pack.
This was only the first epic party of the weekend. The second was WrestleMania, at the apartment of a New Line development exec named Jeff Katz. Jeff’s pad is decorated with Freddy vs. Jason paraphernalia (he helped get it made), a replica WWE/NWA-style championship belt with Ric Flair nameplate, and Bruce Campbell posters. When I described this place to a colleague, he responded, “So when are you two getting married?”
In all likelihood, Jeff’s party is a good prognosticator of the parties Lucky will be throwing after a few more movies. Similar vibe, but with more stuff, like turkey wraps, shrimp, and jello shots, in addition to McDonalds hamburgers, donuts, and Budweiser. (upon further reflection, maybe not -- now that I think about it, I don’t remember any smokers, which seems odd for a party that size. Maybe they were exiled outside or something.)
I spent most of my time talking to Jeff’s friend Todd, a serious wrestling fan who knew his stuff at least as well as I do; and Liz, a cute lady who sat on the couch beside us. The three of us seemed the most interested in watching the entire card; many of the attendees seemed uninterested in wrestling. Jeff clearly wanted to watch it all, but was so busy being a good host that he sacrificed some of his own viewing pleasure in order to greet and hang with everyone.
I was there with my new bud Geza, producer of Paul Hough’s film THE BACKYARD. Geza was running a bit late, but being a hardcore NASCAR fan, he channeled the Earnhardt dynasty to get us there pretty much on time. Paul had felt the need to call me at 8:30 a.m. (from Texas) to confirm that we were going. I told him not to do that. He responds that I shouldn’t have picked up the phone.
Reflecting the dual nature of the party (wrestling viewers vs. others), the stereo played music over the audio of the show, which made it difficult to hear crowd reaction or interviews. I found the music kind of irritating in that context, but hey, host’s prerogative. Good show nonetheless.
Thought I overheard some of the studio people in attendance discussing a potential project based on a very popular toy line, but maybe it was the booze making me imagine things...
Former WCW world champion Diamond Dallas Page showed up as a special surprise, and watched the Lesnar-Goldberg match intently, leaving shortly thereafter. I didn’t get to formally meet him, but I was the only one there who threw up the “diamond cutter” sign to greet his entrance.
My man Brock basically got a kick in the ass on his way out the door -- having been made to look weak by Steve Austin on Smackdown, he gets cleanly pinned by Goldberg after an unimpressive match. Had I been younger, and this been the ‘80s, I would have liked the match better, because I would have believed it as a clash of the titans. Knowing the behind-the-scenes stuff can kill the appeal, though. Brock got resoundly jeered by the fans, and is now off to try out for the NFL. Good luck to him.
Someone greeted Goldberg’s win by loudly proclaiming “The Jews win! Fuck you, Mel Gibson!”
The whole room, or at least those of us left in it, popped hard when Chris Benoit made Triple H tap out clean. Everyone hates Hunter. I never used to like Benoit or Eddie Guerrero in their old WCW days, but Benoit has won me over, and Eddie’s “Latino Heat” persona plays to all his strengths. The newest Eddie G. T-shirt depicts him as Scarface, and plays on his battles with drug addiction with the slogan “addicted to the heat.” Tasteless? Maybe. But presumably Eddie approved it.
So the Undertaker comes back as the "Dead Man" by...keeping the biker look, adding only a cowboy hat and black hair dye? Laaaaaame.
Good to see Bobby the Brain Heenan again. Even if he’s not up to a full-time schedule, I hope they’ll use him more often.
Anyway, my tolerance appeared to be up for this event, but it could be that I just paced myself better, because if I got up, I knew my spot on the couch would be taken. As I bonded more with Todd and Liz, they would very kindly save my space, so I had my buzz on by the end. Got home and went to bed before midnight.
Next year, WrestleMania will be in L.A.
Posted by LYT at 5:46 PM | Comments (3)
March 14, 2004
Partyin' ain't easy
this weekend proves that. More details later -- I'm plum tuckered right now. Wow.
Posted by LYT at 11:58 PM | Comments (0)
March 13, 2004
Choose Sanity
I don't normally post much (hell, ever) about abortion/choice-related issues. I don't really feel qualified to tell any pregnant woman what to do on that score, though the idea of abortion is extremely unpleasant. Unlike many liberals, I don't make abortion a litmus-test issue for every candidate.
Still, granted that abortion is still legal, the following troubles me:
Now, you may say abortion was never part of the argument here. But "choice" is. If a woman has a right to choose abortion, she also, as far as I can see, has the right to choose to refuse a c-section. That may be a good or bad thing, but it does seem to me to be a definite corollary.
Posted by LYT at 7:45 PM | Comments (4)
Another review quick take
NASCAR 3-D. You know you're curious.
Posted by LYT at 12:48 AM | Comments (1)
March 12, 2004
Another '80s WWF star dies
The Mighty Hercules. He was never all that good a wrestler, and his punches were notoriously fake (you could tell they weren't connecting and he was just stomping his foot to make the sound); nonetheless, it's sad to see him go. I think my favorite period for Herc was when he teamed with Paul Roma as Power & Glory -- their finisher, a superplex by Herc followed by a superfly by Roma, was pretty cool. Me and my cousin Arthur used to do it all the time to his Ultimate Warrior "wrestling buddy" (kind of a plush pillow in a human shape).
Posted by LYT at 5:48 PM | Comments (1)
Reminder...
Jaye Luckett makes a rare media appearance tonight on John Daily's show on killradio (listen online at www.killradio.org) at around 8 p.m. (trust me, "around" is the operative word -- if you just hear music or someone unfamiliar, it probably means someone's stuck in traffic).
I'll be on as well, as I usually am, trying to hog as much mic time as possible.
Posted by LYT at 3:46 PM | Comments (0)
Grievous Cinematic Harm
The newest Star Wars villain is revealed!
Posted by LYT at 12:21 AM | Comments (7)
March 11, 2004
Long Time Vince
Interesting Vince McMahon interview in The Hollywood Reporter, for those who've wondered about the business side of running a wrestling company.
Posted by LYT at 12:35 PM | Comments (0)
Review Update
David Mamet hits back with Spartan
Quick take: B-movies get spoofed in The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra
Posted by LYT at 2:02 AM | Comments (4)
The Liberal Media
That long-promised left-leaning talk radio station is becoming a reality, it seems. But in my opinion, they need a bit of younger blood. Janeane Garofalo, Al Franken, and Chuck D are all well and good, but I think we all know who they really need.
ME. The lowbrow lefty his bad self.
Go HERE and tell them they need LYT. Be polite. Send 'em this way.
If you know any book publishers, do the same. I'm dyign to write onea them diatribe type things.
I'm not actually kidding here. Help me out.
If I get a show of my own, I'm gonna ask J.D. Stone to co-host. You know you want that.
Posted by LYT at 1:58 AM | Comments (3)
March 10, 2004
The Baehr Facts
Surprise, surprise...Dr. Ted Baehr isn't being entirely upfront!
Posted by LYT at 4:22 PM | Comments (3)
SITE UPDATE
Here's the "edge" I was alluding to yesterday -- the KnifEdge, my original self-published zines. All four issues have been scanned and added to this site's "Comix" section.
Those of you who want to know what I did before New Times, this is it.
Many thanks to hard-working webmaster Brian.
Note: Original copies of these zines are still available in limited copies. If anyone's interested in obtaining any at cost, let me know and I may add them to the merchandise page.
Posted by LYT at 3:59 PM | Comments (0)
There goes my hero
It's a sad day today for fans of quality sports entertainment. Reasonably reliable sources are indicating that WWE superstar Brock Lesnar is retiring from the ring, possibly to pursue a career in the NFL (a somewhat delusional possibility since he isn't a football player, but that might be BS).
Brock captured my imagination as a fan in a way that very few wrestlers have. I'm not sure there's ever been another that combined a massive muscular physique with top-notch technical credentials to the same degree, and certainly no-one who did all that plus had a huge demon skull and meathooks tattooed on his back.
If Brock truly is miserable in the business, no true fan should want him to stick around. Look at Bill Goldberg for an example of a big guy who's just in it for the money. Or Triple H as an example of a guy going through the motions just because he can.
Still, it's tough not to be disappointed. Brock's iron-man match with Kurt Angle last year was one of the greatest matches ever, period, better than the overrated Shawn Michaels-Bret Hart marathon at WrestleMania XII (I was there live for that one, so I speak with some authority). Brock's shooting star press at last year's WrestleMania was initially spectacular, then terrifying when he landed badly. He finished the match with his trademark F5 maneuver, and now says he can't remember any of it after he landed on his head. Brock's match with Hulk Hogan, in which he wiped Hogan's blood across his chest, was unforgettable. Brock versus Rock at Summerslam two years ago was fantastic in buildup and execution. He's also had some great matches with Undertaker and Eddie Guerrero.
It got me thinking about the other great stars who have captured my imagination over the years. It's an elite club -- while I've always been a fan of the show itself, very few of the athletes inspired the kind of loyalty in me that fans of competitive sports have for their teams.
Big Daddy. The first time I ever watched wrestling was because of this man, a middle-aged, overweight Englishman with silver hair, sort of the English Dusty Rhodes. I knew him as a comic strip character, so when I actually found out it was a real guy, it was literally like seeing a superhero come to life. UK wrestling back then was slow-paced, divided into rounds like boxing, and featured commentators who sounded half-asleep, but I had nothing to compare it to. Until the WWF came on cable.
Hulk Hogan. I think I first became aware of Hogan from The A-Team, and if Big Daddy was a comic character come to life, Hulk Hogan was He-Man in the flesh. What kid didn't love him at some point? When cable TV came to Ireland, the WWF came too, and this was just a whole new level. WrestleMania III aired live, with only a couple of hardy souls staying up on a school night to inform the rest of us on Monday that Hogan had bodyslammed Andre the Giant.
I stayed a Hogan fan for about a year after that, at which point I started to ask myself why. The Honky Tonk Man is a bad guy, but he thanks his fans; Hogan never does, just cups his hand to his ear, demanding more cheers. Also, Hogan's basic persona is that of a Christian conservative xenophobe, and it seemed to me he broke the rules at least as much as his opponents. I began to hate him and root for the villains, but Hogan infuriated me more by never losing.
Ric Flair. By contrast, I was surprised to discover that in the U.S., there was another major wrestling company, the NWA, and its main attraction was a bad guy, the rule-breaking Flair. This was more of an old-school philosophy -- make the champ so hated that fans will pay good money hoping that this night will finally be the night the cocky bastard gets dethroned. Have the good guy humiliate him the whole match, only to have the villain pull out a dirty trick at the end and steal the victory. Let a good guy hold the strap occasionally, but not for too long -- America loves underdogs, after all. The McMahon family had a different philosophy -- build up the good guy as an indestructible superhero, a la the Harlem Globetrotters, and people will pay to see him crush all in his path (often evil foreigners).
Flair, unlike Hogan, was a great technical wrestler who could wrestle long matches and seemingly get better as they went on. He was also a great showman, the quintessential asshole celebrity with an entourage -- the Four Horsemen -- who ambushed opponents out in the parking lot. He had his share of Hogan-esque family values-embodying opponents, but they tended to get their asses handed to them (ironically, in real life Flair was a big supporter of reactionary senator Jesse Helms).
I never became super-obsessed with Flair T-shirts or anything, but to this day I think he's the greatest of all time.
The Ultimate Warrior. Warrior couldn't wrestle worth a damn, but he did what no-one else could -- convincingly crushed Hulk Hogan for the WWF title. Back then, wins and losses meant a lot more (there were very few "smart fans"), and simply by turning on Hogan and beating him, Warrior became my man. He didn't know many moves, but he had an energy and intensity that electrified a crowd. As a stage actor, I would often pump myself up backstage by getting into character as the warrior. In later years, he would also prove to be totally insane, and he nowadays makes appearances as a motivational speaker who combines far-right wing paranoia with a strange invented spiritual philosophy he calls "Destrucity."
After Hogan disappeared, Flair briefly came to the WWF, Warrior quit (again) and I went to college, wrestling went through a dark period. Clowns, garbagemen, plumbers, and men in turkey suits were the norm, and NWA/WCW wasn't available on TV in Cali. I tried hard to get inspired by Shawn Michaels and Bret Hart, but while I respected both men as athletes, neither was truly inspirational to me. Diesel (Kevin Nash) soared briefly, but too briefly. Undertaker was fun, but when he turned good-guy and started doing anti-drunk driving PSAs, he killed his mystique. Roddy Piper and the Warrior made lackluster comebacks. Then, finally, along came...
Steve Austin. Steve's career had been one to watch from square one -- initially he seemed like a more muscular and powerful Ric Flair -- but I don't think anyone could've guessed how it would end up. In World Class Championship Wrestling, which I watched on ESPN, Austin's gimmick was that of blonde surfer-boy, and he formed a good tag team with "California Stud" Rod Price. The "California" label would stick for a while, as later in WCW he was in the Hollywood Blonds with Brian Pillman (of Cincinatti, Ohio). When WCW picked him up, I knew he would thrive. When Eric Bischoff took over, and ran out of ideas for him, a move to the WWF was a natural. However, this was still the era of bad gimmicks, so Vince McMahon decided Austin would wrestle as... The Ringmaster.
Posterity will record that such a terrible idea thankfully failed to take root. Austin shaved his head, patterned himself on a serial killer, embraced his Texas roots and became "Stone Cold." When he coined the "Austin 3:16" catchphrase (no, I'm not going to explain it -- read his goddamn book if you don't know), it also launched a new era of creative T-shirt design at Titan Towers. When he flipped people off on TV, we gasped in astonishment. Can he do that? Can he say "son of a bitch?" The timing was right -- at no prior point could a wrestling promotion have gotten away with promoting such a character as their number one hero.
The Rock. Of course, this new breed of hero needed a new breed of villain, and his nemesis came from the most unlikely corner -- a clean-cut, grinning youngster billed as "Rocky Maivia" due to his more famous father and grandfather. McMahon tried to push Rocky as a traditional good-guy, but that didn't wash in the Austin era, and fans roundly booed him. In perhaps the best example ever of making lemonade when life gives you lemons, Rocky gave the hatred back in spades, re-christening himself "The People's Champion, The Rock." Thing was, his obnoxious put-downs became so funny and entertaining that the fans couldn't keep hating him. Eventually, the "People's Champion" label stopped being ironic. As he gained in popularity, The Rock unfortunately used less and less of his technical wrestling ability, much as Austin had in the transition from beach boy to brawler.
Steve Blackman and Ken Shamrock. These guys had technical ability in spades, but problems in the personality department. No-one who saw it will likely forget the night Shamrock defeated Jeff Jarrett with both hands tied behind his back. Shamrock was a real shoot-fighter; Blackman a serious martial artist. Their runs were brief, but I enjoyed the hell out of them.
and finally...
Kurt Angle. Before he was the perfect foil for Brock Lesnar, Angle was the first Olympic gold medalist to join the WWF, but more surprisingly he was a natural on the mic. Gleefully deconstructing the traditional Hulk Hogan-type hero, Angle demanded to be cheered, told fans to drink their milk, and replaced Hulk Hogan's "three demandments" (training, prayers, vitamins) with the "three i's" (intensity, integrity, and intelligence). Fans yelled back "You suck!" Yet they knew he didn't -- Angle worked a match every bit as effecively as he worked the crowd. Nagging injuries seem like they may force Angle from the scene in the next couple of years, but he had an amazing run, capturing all the major titles in his first year (yeah, I know it's fixed, but they don't put the titles on guys they have no confidence it).
Brock was in some elite company. I hope he reconsiders. I'll always have my Brock T-shirts -- I love when some hipster thinks he's being really cool in recognizing my shirt, and yells out, "Danzig!" Uh-uh.
Rhetorical question: when a blogger posts about wrestling, does it make a sound?
Posted by LYT at 3:36 PM | Comments (2)
March 9, 2004
Have I lost my "Edge"?
No.
A significant addition to the site is coming soon, with a few prime "cuts" for long-time readers...
Posted by LYT at 5:04 PM | Comments (1)
Snoopin' Dogged
So, I went to asksnoop.com.
Sent me into this strange parallel universe, where things looked familiar, and yet not
UPDATED: While in the parallel dimension, click the link a couple posts below to Tiffany's site. Trust me.
Posted by LYT at 12:24 PM | Comments (2)
Trailed Blazer
Looks like Marvel comics may have had a thing or two to say about WWE's "Johnny Blaze." I was flipping back and forth between Raw and the Judas movie on ABC last night, but I could've sworn that John Hennigan's new persona has swiftly and quietly been renamed "Johnny Spade."
Posted by LYT at 12:07 PM | Comments (0)
March 8, 2004
Wasn't Me
Tonight on WWE Raw, the Rock and Mick Foley beat up on a cipher critic by the name of "Mr. Thompson," who allegedly hated Foley's books and Rock's movies.
It was not me. I'd never do that.
Just so you know.
Posted by LYT at 11:10 PM | Comments (0)
Nips and tucks
You may have noticed a new photo on the site's front page. A sort of self-portrait.
I also had some links fixed. That long overdue link Tiffany asked for is finally in place, and Dave White's link has been updated to his new (and hilarious) site which I read every day.
Posted by LYT at 2:27 PM | Comments (6)
I used to be a sucker for all things goth...
...but come on, this is just silly:
"Lip Embalm, with a suggested retail price of $9.99, is a pewter coffin ring which opens up to entomb lip balm in three scents - Cremated Cotton Candy, Gruesome Grape, and Sinister Strawberry. "
Sorry, guys, but strawberries just aren't that sinister.
Posted by LYT at 1:12 AM | Comments (0)
Speaking of exposing ignorant speech...
It's "Homosexual Urban Legends: The Series"!
Who knew that homosexuality was based on both Hitler and Marxism?
Posted by LYT at 1:06 AM | Comments (1)
March 7, 2004
The heart is aglow...
The weather is glowing. It's a beautiful day. Don't let it get away.
Hope it sticks around. The constant weather shifts play hell with my sinuses. Only last week I was turning on my heater in the morning -- now it'll be the fan at night.
I had a political notion today, so I thought I'd share it with you.
Conservatives often complain about affirmative action, on the grounds that reverse bias is no way to make up for prior bias, when in fact the ideal solution would be a lack of bias, or level playing field.
This is an argument not without merit. However, it suddenly changes when it comes to the media. Most reasonable-minded folks, even conservative ones, will, when pressed, admit that the Fox News channel tilts rightward. However, their corollary to that is the argument that such is okay: a "reverse-bias" is needed because other channels have a liberal bias.
What happened to the level playing field argument?
To put it another way, remember that post I had a month or so back about John Stossel teaching materials in the classroom? I opined that conservatives would be creeped out if, say, Ralph Nader teaching materials were in the classroom. A conservative reader opined that Ralph Nader was already in the classroom, and John Stossel was needed for balance.
See, to me, the solution would be to get Nader AND Stossel out of the classroom, and let the teacher teach. I guess I can be old fashioned in some rare instances.
Posted by LYT at 11:51 PM | Comments (1)
Agreeing to Disagree...
Cathy Seipp asked me last night why I link to Roger L. Simon's blog if I disagree with most of what he says. My response was that I like Roger personally. I note that it seems likely that most people who link to Luke Ford don't necessarily agree with a lot of what he says, but Cathy says he's a special case.
It should be noted that all three of the above individuals also link to me, so I guess agreements to disagree can certainly be had.
Then I see a post on LA Observed today about some article on bloggers that slams Mickey Kaus, a moderate Democrat, for linking to right-wingers Ann Coulter and Lucianne Goldberg.
It's funny, I never thought there ought to be an ideological litmus test for the sites you link to, or even the people you hang out with. Obviously there are exceptions -- I wouldn't want to hang out with someone in the Klan. On the other hand, I do have some friends who harbor prejudicial views, and I think the factor that allows me to keep them as friends is that they don't act on those views, and in most cases realize their prejudices are unacceptable in polite company, or even my impolite company.
Anyway, everyone's prejudiced to some degree. The Museum of Tolerance says so.
My belief in free speech is predicated on the notion that exposing all the ideas people have and talking about them is better than simply telling people to shut up and not engaging their ideas. On the Freshmen DVD, I talk about how many of my college TAs simply wanted to hear one opinion, and weren't interested in trying to engage our thought processes to think for ourselves.
I link here to Movieguide and CAPalert, two sites which embody the far right wing of mainstream discourse in this country. I do so mainly for entertainment purposes, to expose their ignorance, but some would say that by giving them any exposure at all I'm somehow endorsing them.
I don't know how many of you actually follow the links on my links page -- it's there as much for me as anyone, to simplify my daily net-surf -- but I'm interested in your opinions. Does it bother you if you click on one of my links and find a site that expresses opinions vastly different from mine? Are you offended by any of the links? If you are, would you prefer I take them down (ain't gonna happen, by the way, but I'd still like to know in theory)?
Someone at another site posted an Aesop's fable about a man being defined by the company he keeps. Who on my links defines me -- Roger Simon? Todd McFarlane? Vince McMahon? Harry Knowles? Alexander Cockburn?
[note: It's too much effort right now to put all the hyperlinks in this post, but every site mentioned here can be found on the links page]
Posted by LYT at 2:40 PM | Comments (6)
Keeping Things Fresh, Men
On Thursday, I busted out YET ANOTHER DVD commentary, for the movie Freshmen. This time, my partner in conversation was writer-director-producer-star Tom Huang. It's a more subdued commentary than some of my others -- engineer Garrard said afterwards "You were more of an enabler this time" -- but that's appropriate, since fans of the movie want to hear Tom.
Longtime followers of my commentaries will not be too disappointed, however. The usual references to hooters, Douglas, celeb impersonations and so forth are in there, including a surprisingly timely reference to Sandra Tsing Loh, whose father appears in the film.
The disc's due out in early April.
Posted by LYT at 12:03 PM | Comments (0)
March 6, 2004
"I do not like that boy from hell, I do not like him, Sammael"
If you didn't get that the above line is a Hellboy reference, you do now.
Just got a couple fo the Hellboy movie action figures from Mezco. They're not that easy to find, what with so many toy retail stores closing, and other specialty stores cutting down on their selections. We're paying the price now for having so many different toy lines in the past few years, I think.
There are one or two good websites to order from, though. Tower.com is the best if you're into McFarlane toys and other similar lines -- they have free shipping for orders over $20, and reasonable (i.e. not jacked up) prices. Their Hellboy figures have been going fast, but those who are online a lot have occasionally been lucky enough to score one of the "original redskin" himself. I was lucky enough to log in when all the figures were up, and had to make a quick decision about which ones I ahd to have now and which could wait. I chose Hellboy and Abe Sapien.
As it turned out, two days later Sammael (big tentacly monster) was the peripheral character who had sold out, and Abe got marked down by two dollars. Never mind -- Abe's a cool looking and unique character.
I have to say I've never been a huge fan of Mezco Toyz before. They're loved by many collectors, I think primarily because they believe toys are for playing with rather than collecting, but this philosophy, from what I can see, has led to their making figures that look more like toys than like the characters they oughta resemble. The Reservoir Dogs figures looked more like drawings of the actors than the actors themselves, and their Animal House toys are deliberately distorted caricatures. They tried going more movie-accurate with Underworld, and failed.
Hellboy is arguably their first success. These figures are as heavy with articulation as most Mezco figs, and some will say that ruins the sculpt, especially for Abe, who has little clothing to hide the joints. But it works.
Hellboy himself is still just a tad cartoony. When placed side-by-side with the brand new Spawn line (available everywhere, including Toys R Us -- scalpers just don't care about Spawn any more), the sculpt suffers by comparison. But he's well-done enough, and his accessories are cool, notably the rope tied in a full-on actual hangman's noose. No rosary beads, though.
Both available Hellboy figures (trenchcoated and without) come in two variants -- open mouth and hand, closed mouth and hand. Tower doesn't tell you which one you're gonna get. My trenchcoat HB was open mouth. This means I need to get non-coated HB with closed mouth, in an actual store somewhere.
Abe is very cool, with an expresive sculpt and a glossy finish that makes him look amphibious.
The new Spawn figures are kickass too, but not for those who like playable toys. Virtually no useful articulation on any of them. I'm blown away, though, by the Ashley Wood-designed ones, which take the work of a quintessentially 2-D artist who depends on shadows and lighting, and putting them in 3-d. Raven Spawn 2, Hellspawn 2, and Sam & Twitch 2 are works of art. Redeemer also looks nice, but he's got a more traditional look.
It's interesting to note that no-one ever seems to complain (as they do with Batman or He-Man) about the endless Spawn variants. It should be obvious why -- each different Spawn has a unique sculpt, or a totally different pose, or brings to life the work of a different artist. Unlike mass-market Batman toys, where they paint Batman a weird color and give him a new missile and that's that. By contrast, every DC Direct Batman figure seems to do OK -- I'm sure many will buy both Hush Batman and Dark Knight Batman.
Apologies to any non-toy collectors out there if you don't get the lingo in this post!
Posted by LYT at 5:24 PM | Comments (0)
March 5, 2004
Dr. Ted's solution to STDs
We should have guessed. The answer is to give him more money.
Posted by LYT at 6:45 PM | Comments (1)
Review Update
Fathers and the forties are extolled in Red Betsy.
Posted by LYT at 11:45 AM | Comments (0)
March 3, 2004
One more quick hit...
I just want to congratulate WWE on doing something right. I've been complainign previously about the lack of gimmicks, so I say bravo to introducing Tough Enough champ John Hennigan as something other than just...John Hennigan.
Yeah, he's "Johnny Blaze," and yes, that's a pretty obvious crib from Marvel comics. But it's a crapload better as a wrestling name than John Hennigan.
Posted by LYT at 1:45 AM | Comments (0)
Oscar loves a grouch
Catty film critic Dave White on the Oscar show:
MORE
Posted by LYT at 1:35 AM | Comments (0)
God hates a Bush-basher
Yow. You know what's worse than a painful twisted ankle?
Having to drive a manual transmission vehicle with a twisted ankle on your clutch foot.
I think God got mad. It happened right after I bought a t-shirt with a photo of our president on it, along with the word "Satan." Outside, I misstepped, and suddenly could not put any weight on my left ankle any more. My left knee's been giving me grief today too. Shortly afterward it felt better, but then during the movie screening afterward it got worse and worse. The movie didn't help, either (it was "The Cowboy Antics of the Aragorn," or whatever the fuzznuck that new Viggo movie's called). Full of lame cliches and a horribly over-the-top score, it gave my companion a headache. So by the end of the date, we were both in pain, and not in any kind of good way.
Other evidence that God dislikes Bush-haters : John Edwards dropping out. I really can't see myself saying "President Kerry," but who knows.
That Bush-Satan shirt will likely be busted out at the next press club do.
Posted by LYT at 1:30 AM | Comments (3)
March 2, 2004
De-voted
So I voted. How about you?
In my precinct, the whole chad thing has been replaced by an easily-smudged, easily off-centered black-ink-dot-maker. This doesn't strike me as a better idea. It makes voting feel like taking the SAT.
In other political news, I just got my "car tax" refund. Some of you may remember that this was one of the issues that drove Gray Davis out of office. Horror stories abounded that the car tax was tripling (the big change was that it wouldbe based on your car's value rather than being a flat fee), that it was punitive and regressive and would cost taxpayers hundreds more dollars each year. On Arnie's first day, he repealed it and said the difference would be refunded.
Well, I got my refund check...for fifteen dollars.
That was the big deal? I grant my car's not the slickest, but it's no piece of shit. If your car tax went up several hundred dollars, I shed no tears for your alleged money problems, because you've obviously got a swankier ride than I can afford.
$15 can buy a meal, or two meals if you economize. But those whose lives are saved by a $15 check likely won't get one, because chances are they take the bus.
also, THE GROCERY STRIKE IS OVER!
Posted by LYT at 2:34 PM | Comments (0)
Catching a Phrase
When the Rock last made a cameo appearance at his former day job on WWE Raw, he had a new T-shirt with the bizarre catchphrase: "How's your lips...'cause they're gonna get slapped off your face!"
Seems that didn't catch on. Who would have thought? Making another appearance last night to promote his upcoming cameo at WrestleMania, he had on a new shirt with a new catchphrase: "How long's it been...since you had your ass whupped?"
Perhpas not bad as a verbal catchphrase, but speaking as a rabid consumer of WWE shirts, I won't be buying it. A T-shirt that says "How long's it been" on the front isn't interesting to me at all. I even prefer "How's your lips" for sheer weirdness.
Compare to other WWE T's, with slogans on the front like "F*ck Fear," "Blow Me," "Freaks Kick Ass," "B'le Dat," and so on...
Posted by LYT at 12:38 PM | Comments (0)
Reminder again:
VOTE, beeyotch!
Posted by LYT at 12:34 PM | Comments (0)
March 1, 2004
It's not over...
So you thought awards season was over and done with now that the Oscars happened, eh?
(watch the entire intro before checking out the site. hi-larious)
Posted by LYT at 3:42 PM | Comments (2)
Fock the Vote
Californians, don't forget there's an election tomorrow. On many of the minor offices I am clueless, but if you care about my endorsements, read on...
IF YOU'RE REPUBLICAN...
...and anyone else is on the ballot besides Bush, vote for that guy. Alternately, write in John McCain or Colin Powell. If you're a serious right-winger, at least write in someone with integrity like Tom McClintock.
IF YOU'RE A DEMOCRAT...
There are really two options. If you believe, as I generally do, that the world would be a better place if everyone would vote their conscience, and wish to lead by example...vote Kucinich.
If you're a pragmatist who feels the need to vote for one of the Johns...vote Edwards.
If you're planning on voting for LaRouche or Sharpton, I cannot help you. Move along.
IF YOU'RE A GREEN (and I am)...
Vote Camejo. For the party central committee, you get to vote for 6 out of 7 candidates. All I can say there is you'd be a fool not to at least vote for Mike Feinstein, and actual elected Green. The rest are up to you.
IF YOU'RE INDEPENDENT OR PEACE & FREEDOM...
Leonard Peltier all the way.
JUDICIAL - no endorsements as of now.
DISTRICT ATTORNEY - no endorsement. I'm vaguely inclined towards reelecting Steve Cooley.
PROPOSITIONS:
55: No. We're too cash-strapped to be issuing huge bonds right now.
56: Yes. A simple majority vote ought to be enough to enact budget-related bills
57: No. Better big spending cuts now than bigger ones later.
58: No. I don't think mandatory balnced budget amendments are a good idea; they're a rigid, one-size-fits-all approach to solving problems where flexibility is often required.
R: No. Again, too cash-strapped to be issuing huge bonds, for the children or anything else.
UPDATE: The LA Weekly has an analysis of the judicial nominees HERE. Granted, not everyone likes the Weekly's politics, but they're often pretty close to mine. If you're planning to vote for judges, this may be the best resource available (if any moderates or conservatives want to counter with their own endorsements, especially with regard to judges, be my guest).
Posted by LYT at 1:14 PM | Comments (1)
So how'd I do?
Moments before they were announced, I made picks for the short categories. You'll have to trust me on that.
Best Picture - WRONG
Best Actor - RIGHT
Best Actress - RIGHT
Best Supporting actor - RIGHT
Best Supporting actress - WRONG (Renee's nomination was and is bullshit, and her win is also bullshit. Normally I like her work, but not this time.)
Best Foreign Language film - RIGHT
Best Animated film - RIGHT
Best Director - RIGHT
Best Adapted Screenplay - WRONG (ironically, many LOTR geeks are the most upset about the ROTK screenplay, what with the scouring of the Shire and whatnot)
Best original screenplay - RIGHT
art direction - WRONG
Cinematography - RIGHT (Yay Master and Commander!)
costume design - WRONG
editing - WRONG (City of God wuz robbed)
make-up - RIGHT (finally - LOTR really deserves this one)
visual effects - RIGHT
sound - RIGHT
sound editing - RIGHT
documentary - RIGHT
docu short - RIGHT
animated short - WRONG (who knew a long-lost Salvador Dali-Walt Disney collaboration was beatable, not to mention a Pixar short and a Chris Wedge short?)
live action short - RIGHT
score - WRONG
song - WRONG
That's 15/24, or 62.5%. Little better than my usual 60%, but not by much.
Billy Crystal is officially lame.
Posted by LYT at 1:23 AM | Comments (5)