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September 30, 2004
My new haircut
Photo HERE taken by Emmanuelle Richard at the first party last night.
Posted by LYT at 4:59 PM | Comments (0)
Spam Balls
Been barraged with comments spam recently. Because I get email notifications every time someone posts a comment, my hosting site shut down those notifications, because it assumed that since those email notifications were flying out so fast, I must be the spammer! At any rate, I don't use Movable Type like most of you, and have no desire to switch to a new system, but if anyone knows of Greymatter updates that can make mass deletions by pesky commenters easy, lemme know.
In the meantime, as a minor, and possibly futile deterrent, two changes have been made to comments. One is that you cannot post html in them. The other is that certain words are now banned: viagra, cialis, vicodin, and a few others associated with spam. I don't think any legitimate comments will be affected by this.
I'm also kinda-sorta registered at Technorati now, so those of you who want some kind of feed to tell you when this blog updates may or may not be able to get one from them. Not being Movable Type makes me strange and alien to them, and some kinks are still being worked out.
[Due to being a magnet for comments spam, this entry is now closed to comments. Talk back on the message board if you like]
Posted by LYT at 4:28 PM | Comments (3)
ABP - Always Be Partyin'
Two parties in one night is something I have to do occasionally, because very few people in L.A. ever want to have parties on weekends, or even on Fridays, so lots of people do Thursdays.
I guess going to two is an achievement, too, because Andrew Breitbart (self-described as "Matt Drudge's Bitch") says he's never done it. Then he started to talk about how the Left is trying to censor him and Anne Coulter. I expect to see 'em both (Coulter appears in one of the movies, and Andrew's a speaker) if I indeed manage to get my credentials to the right-wing Liberty Film festival this weekend. Should be interesting. Andrew's reaction when he heard I might be covering? "Oh no." He describes the mainstream media as Marxist -- I am therefore off the charts. But if I didn't cover it, I'd be guilty of covering it up, eh?
Andrew also says he refuses to color his hair like mine. Thank goodness for that. None of you should imitate my hair, ever. It owns you.
This was at the first party of the evening, at 345 Maple Drive, held by the Press Club and Reason Magazine. As usual I got there early, and hung out at the restaurant bar, which had an elaborate selection of scotches. I order an Absolut Raspberri, and am charged $10 for it. It isn't very good -- artificial tasting. I ask for an extra shot of cranberry to neutralize the taste. Australian-accented businessmen beside me talk about selling airlines. This is a high-roller type bar, obviously.
Which is why the party was actually held in the building lobby, outside of the actual restaurant, to separate the riff-raff from the airline CEOS. Drink tickets were sold for $5 -- one ticket per beer, two for a cocktail or wine. Ergo, this was the first such party where drinking beer was actually a better deal. Hors d'heuvres consisted of variations of bread and cheese (pizza, quesadillas) and weird-looking meatloaf and/or Spam sandwiches that no-one touched.
Mostly familiar faces here, and a lot of boringly dressed guys in suits. But a few new people show up to find out about Brian Doherty's Burning Man book. Luke Ford surprisingly doesn't seem to be pimping his own books as much as he could, so I try to mention them in conversations to others wherever possible. I liked the one that I was able to afford. He does say something about overhearing Matt Welch singing the socialist Internationale in the shower.
The Reason photgrapher takes a photo of two beautiful black women who provocatively raise their legs to pose. He says he'll take one of me if I can top that.
Note: Daring me to show off for the cameras always works. I mentioned that I have a large tattoo on my back, and would be happy to show it off. Variety's Pat Saperstein, standing with me, says she'll show hers too, but then she doesn't. I do, and Cathy Seipp somehow thinks I'm taking my pants off, even though it's just my shirt. Pat makes a crack about how I always take my clothes off. I say I only do so around her.
At least I'm svelte -- two people this week have said so (Hear that, mom?)
Someone -- Kate Coe, I think -- was going on about John Kerry's orange tan. As a wrestling fan, I've been utterly desensitized to bad tans over the years.
Sadly, I must leave right as the lovely Deborah Vankin and Sharan Street show up. They liven up any gathering, but I'm already late to the next function. I give David Ehrenstein a ride home, then head for Koreatown.
Young Man Kang, director of THE LAST EVE (for which I'll be shooting my scenes Monday) is showing an older film of his, the undistributed DEATH VALLEY DIARIES. I catch the last half hour, and it's good...light years ahead of his first flick CUPID'S MISTAKE. It's a BLAIR WITCH type deal about people lost in Death Valley at night. He started it before BLAIR WITCH, then finished it four years later.
Gregory Hatanaka appears in the film as a car salesman. I missed his scene, but Young tells the entire audience that he had to get Greg drunk to get a good performance out of him. Portrait artist/coin trick magician Bill Dale is very good in it as a scary character. Young himself is convincing playing a film-maker named Young.
Film-maker Donald F. Glut is at the reception -- he proudly has a CD out now, by his Mike Nesmith-produced band that recorded it about 37 years ago! Just came out, on a label that I think is called Sundaze, or something like that.
A documentary crew from Korean TV is also here -- earlier in the day, they interviewed me at the Sunset 5, and gave me a nice hand-crafted pencil box as a thank-you gift. Off-camera, they asked me if it was true that Hollywood was run by Jews, gays, and USC graduates. I said I didn't think it was run by gays, and while some of the top people in the business are Jewish, saying "the Jews" implies there's some sort of unified religious agenda, which I don't believe there is. As for USC grads -- less and less. With the rise of the Internet, Netflix, and cheap cameras, film school is becoming obsolete. You learn more by doing.
Still, if being a USC grad helps me to run Hollywood, I'll take that advantage. Anyway, Universal is run by the French, I think, and Sony by the Japanese. But that could change in a heartbeat nowadays.
Wine, donuts, and cheetos are the sustenance here. I try some red, and then some horrific sweetened and flavored wine that tastes like cherry NyQuil.
Young's having a party at some mansion this weekend. I guess if I don't get to do the conservative film fest, I'll get decadent one way or another.
Here's hoping for a decent night's sleep tonight. Been woken up early several days running by incidents beyond my control. If you call me in the a.m., I ain't answering.
Posted by LYT at 1:14 AM | Comments (0)
September 29, 2004
Sharkingly Good
Shark Tale is a pretty damn cool movie to look at. It’s also quite entertaining. But based on the buzzings of some of my critical colleagues, I can tell that it’s going to be one of those movies that they’ve all decided to dislike.
This really isn’t that shocking when I think about it -- the same has been true of every other Will Smith movie in recent memory. MEN IN BLACK II was not qualitatively much different from its predecessor, yet writers everywhere slammed it, and readers slammed me for liking it. WILD WILD WEST is actually a movie with lots of visual imagination, on a par with Barry Sonnenfeld’s well-liked and thoroughly plotless ADDAMS FAMILY flicks. And I, ROBOT actually gets better as it goes along. But I think people -- critics, especially -- are just sick of Smith.
And honestly, I understand why. When you see Smith in soundbite-sized doses, like movie trailers, all that comes through is his cockiness, the “I’m so fly” attitude that represents all that is least appealing about macho youngsters. But in the vast majority of his performances there’s more than that -- usually there’s at least one moment where it becomes clear that wisecracks won’t save him, or that something’s coming after him that his cocky worldview had never prepared for (the major exception is INDEPENDENCE DAY, which critics were unduly kind to; Roger Ebert famously revised his opinion of it and got caricatured in GODZILLA as a result. It may be that the other critics who weren’t so public in their reassessment are retroactively kicking themselves and punishing Smith for it). Smith also doesn’t help himself by continuing to cling to his ever-less-interesting rap career. Had he not become a movie star by now, the Fresh Prince would undoubtedly be on TV’s THE SURREAL LIFE instead of Flavor Flav. Most of the hatred for WILD WILD WEST, I believe, is a direct result of the Smith-performed theme tune, aptly parodied by Cartman on SOUTH PARK.
In SHARK TALE, Smith voices a small fish named Oscar, and it’s made abundantly clear that his cockiness is ALL show. Most everyone thinks he’s a loser, and he’s certainly no match for the big sharks who patrol the waters.
Oh, wait...sharks, fish, CG...Time for everyone to compare SHARK TALE to FINDING NEMO! Please don’t. Both are CG films about fish, but otherwise have nothing in common. One might as well compare ALIEN to STAR WARS. If you must find an animated fish analogy, at least go for FISH POLICE, the short-lived prime time cartoon-turned-Trivial-Pursuit-question. SHARK TALE’S fish don’t live in any kind of realistic ocean any more than the Flintstones live in the real Paleolithic era. Early in the film, we watch as the “camera” pans down a coral reef, and the coral gradually shifts shape into a big city that looks vaguely like New York but is made over fish style, with lobsters and crabs instead of subway trains, Orca whales with red and blue pilot fish astride them for cop cars, and the standard issue Flintstone-style bad puns (Coral Cola instead of Coca Cola, news anchor Katie Current as voiced by Katie Couric, etc.).
Every color is super-bright, and combined with the vivid amounts of depth the CG allows, this makes for a perfect movie to drop acid to. I actually said that to NY Times critic Manohla Dargis, who responded, “That’s the kind of thing you can say in print and I can’t.” Apparently, the NYT doesn’t like the notion that any writer might know anything about the effects of drugs. So much for their stealth liberal agenda.
[disclaimer: I’ve never dropped acid, so I could be wrong. But it looks really cool nonetheless]
The plot is a parody of mafia movies, with Robert De Niro as shark godfather Don Lino, whose reluctant son and heir Lenny (Jack Black, affecting a fake voice that barely sounds like him) is a closet...vegetarian. In the film’s opening sequence, Lenny saves a worm from the fishing rod wielded by the little boy in the Dreamworks logo, much to the dismay of his more ruthless older brother Frankie (Michael Imperioli). Later in the film, Frankie will be killed by a falling anchor while trying to eat Oscar; Oscar, whose life is being threatened by his own boss (Martin Scorsese) and is desperate for fame, will take credit and become known as the Sharkslayer (the film’s original title, presumably modified because parents might not want their kids to see a movie with “slayer” in the title). Lenny, looking to leave “The Family” for good, will strike up a friendship with Oscar, and the two will hatch a plan to further both their careers.
Barely a weekend goes by when I don’t get yet another person posting comments about my SHREK 2 review, telling me I’m an idiot for not liking it because it’s the funniest movie they’ve ever seen in their lives (to which I reply that either their lives are sad and empty, or so fulfilling that they don’t have time to waste it on seeing lots of movies). But SHARK TALE provides a great example for contrast. Both movies use Flintstone-type puns -- modern brand names turned into medieval references for SHREK, and into ocean-based references for SHARK TALE. Both make references to familiar songs and movies. But unlike SHREK 2, SHARK TALE doesn’t depend upon its references, and could exist without them. The plot does depend upon mafia archetypes, but no-one says “Make him an offer he can’t refuse,” or “I tried to get out, and they keep pulling me back in.” There is a reference to Joe Pesci’s most famous line from GOODFELLAS, but it’s not just a reference -- it adds to it because the shark asking if he’s a clown to you has in fact just been painted to look like a clown. Similarly, a character at one point threatens another that he can “Sleep with the fishes...the ones that are dead.” Taking the obvious reference and then twisting or subverting it is funny -- merely referencing something, as when SHREK 2’s Puss in Boots starts singing “Living La Vida Loca,” is lame. First of all, that song undermines the reality of your world by mentioning New York City, and second, it’s kinda stupid and borderline offensive that just because a character has a Spanish accent, you have him sing the only pop song you can think of that has Spanish words in it.
There are one or two stale references in SHARK TALE. I could do without ever hearing “Car Wash” on a movie soundtrack again, but it’s just about passable here since the lead character actually does work at a car wash, or rather, whale wash. And using “Baby Got Back” as a punchline unto itself officially jumped the shark when it was extensively cited in GIGLI. Come to think of it, it’s surprising that “jump the shark” isn’t a phrase used herein, though I guarantee that many critics will use it in describing the flick. Use of the JAWS theme was inevitable with Spielberg exec-producing, but at least the sharks comment on how it’s become their very own theme music.
But Will Smith doing an impromptu, a cappella rendition of “U Can’t Touch This”...that’s funny. Not just because he does it the way a kid on the street might (“Duh dun-dun duh, da-da, da-da, can’t touch this!”), but also because he and MC Hammer were popular rappers around the same time. Seeing Christina Aguilera rendered as a jellyfish is also amusing, with the tentacles as her anorexic body and the main jellyfish “hood” as oversized hip-hop hat.
Dunno if the kids will dig SHARK TALE as much as their parents might...I doubt they’ll be familiar with the mafia archetypes the movie trades in, or get the joke behind the Rastafarian jellyfish, one of whom is played by Ziggy Marley, singing one of his Dad’s most famous songs. All I can tell you is that I enjoyed the heck out of it. There’s always something new to look at, and come on, the cast includes De Niro, Smith, Black, Scorsese, Angelina Jolie, Renee Zellweger, Peter Falk, Vincent Pastore...hard to go too wrong there. I’d rather a sequel not be made, but then that’s true of most movies.
Be sure to sit all the way through the end credits for some fun stuff.
Posted by LYT at 12:17 AM | Comments (5)
September 28, 2004
Sarah Lassez has a website now
She had a few fansites before -- now there's an official one, simply called sarahlassez.com.
Trust me, once you see UNTIL THE NIGHT, you'll want to sign on. And she's as much of a pleasure to work with as to watch. I'll add the site to my links page at the next update.
Posted by LYT at 11:36 PM | Comments (0)
Lost in the Ambush
How could I forget to mention the crucial public announcement that was made at the UNTIL THE NIGHT screening?
I've known a few things, pieced together a few details, but last night, in front of a public audience, writer-director Gregory Hatanaka confirmed the name, plot, and star of his next movie, previously referred to on this site as UNTITLED GREGORY HATANAKA PROJECT.
Now we can call it AMBUSHES FROM ALL SIDES. Unless he changes his mind later.
GH also summed up the plot more or less thusly: "It's about a woman who becomes a Catholic, so she starts killing people." The woman will be played by UNTIL THE NIGHT star Sarah Lassez. Also confimred for the movie are Douglas Dunning and me.
What's my part? Forget anything I may have told you earlier. I know I told some of you that I play a rapist; to the best of my knowledge, that's no longer the case. Details are still evolving, but the basic deal is that you'll hear my voice through much of the movie, but only see me towards the very end. The rest I'll leave to your imagination for now.
Also, negotiations are ongoing to involve an actor you've most likely heard of, and who at least one of my readers knows personally. Can't confirm a name until it's official, sorry.
This post will be added to the message board for future reference.
Posted by LYT at 2:18 AM | Comments (2)
September 27, 2004
So much for my power
One day, I'll post screening info here for a movie and people will come to it.
My one wordless scene after the end credits appears to be developing a minor following. People actually congratulate me on it now, which is weird.
One day, when you've all realized the greatness of Norman Reedus and Sarah Lassez, I'll simply say, "Hey, you could've hung out with them at almost every screening we ever did of Until the Night."
I'm not upset at anyone, though. I had fun, and we had a bigger turnout than Laura Dern got for her special presentation of CITIZEN RUTH. No Dunning Factor tonight, however -- he was apparently protesting the fact that the festival organizers didn't have their shit together (this is a huge bonus when it comes to obtaining free drinks, though -- the disorder, I mean, not the absence of Douglas).
Someone asked why I don't review the film here on my site. I've written a fair bit about it, and it never occurred to me to review something I'm in, but fair enough -- with my biases upfront, maybe I should.
I'd like to ask the audience, Regis: Do you want me to formally review UNTIL THE NIGHT? And given that I'm good friends with the director, and on very pleasant speaking terms with several of the cast members, would you trust my judgment even if I did?
(Note: I am going to review THE WOODS here on this very site at some point. Also SHARK TALE next week, which I had nothing to do with but just feel like reviewing.)
Posted by LYT at 12:40 AM | Comments (4)
September 25, 2004
Gays Upon This Holy Book
I posted this on Rawkus Caucus also, but it's too important not to share here too.
Check out this actual flier the RNC is mailing out in Arkansas.
Sort of puts a lie to the notion that conservatives are the real champions of tolerance. See, there's this myth California Republicans like to perpetrate that because of PC university speech codes (which I agree are stupid, btw, and they cost my liberal Democrat father a job once) and smoking bans, Republicans are actually the champions of tolerance, because they "tolerate" intolerant people.
Anyone who's ever lived in the South can set them straight. And yeah, I know the popular rhetorical tactic is to say that Democrats were pro-slavery, pro-Jim Crow, etc...Study up on history. That was back when the Republicans were the liberal party and the Democrats the coservative one. All those segregationist Democrats eventually ended up Republicans -- Strom Thurmond, Jesse Helms, Trent Lott, etc. Zell Miller took long enough, but he's finally headed that direction too.
I went to high school in the South. It wasn't liberals who banned the sale of beer and wine in restaurants. It wasn't liberals who passed bills that allow people to be arrested for using profanity in public. It wasn't liberals who beat up my half-black/half-Jewish friend every night he walked home from school alone. It wasn't liberals who addressed anyone who looked different as "Fag." (Yeah, I know I do that sometimes. It's a joke. I've tried to stop doing it around people who don't find it funny, unless they call me a redneck and then all bets are off.)
It wasn't liberals who tried to change my valedictory speech to be more "inspirational," forced us to say the pledge, or invited Christian youth groups and the Navy Band to perform at pep rallies. Nor was it liberals who sealed the old records of a very dubious high school principal of mine so that misdeeds in his past could not be held against him.
And I know of no liberal who wants to ban the Bible ("Freedom of religion" does not mean "Freedom to have your religion dominate public discourse."). I do, however, know of many conservative Christians who would ban any other book that had the same level of sex and violence.
Liberals do want to allow gay marriage. They're right about that. Just wrong that it's any of your damn business who marries who.
Posted by LYT at 2:50 PM | Comments (1)
September 24, 2004
Linky-love
I finally figured out how to update my links page, and did so, removing a few dead ones and adding some I should have added for quite a while.
Friendster is no longer on there -- I've come to see it as too much of a crutch. If you're really a friend of mine, you know how to contact me and shouldn't need that site. I'm not going to delete my profile, but nor do I ever expect to log in again.
RiShawn Biddle's blog seems to be dead, so I've changed that link to point to his homepage instead. sean (connery)'s new URL replaces his old. ReJeKt's old blog no longer works, so that link's gone, but if he ever gets a new one and tells me where it's at, he'll be back.
Several new favorite sites have been added in the toys and politics sections.
If I forgot you, as always, let me know.
Posted by LYT at 8:08 PM | Comments (1)
Splenda in the Glass
Been dying to use that headline all week.
Anyway, it's come about because the artificial sweetener Splenda, chemically known as sucralose, is now finding its way into mainstream sodas instead of Nutrasweet. Hansen's drinks have been using it for a while, but now the big guns have caught on.
First, there's Pepsi Edge. Sort of an answer to Coke's "lo-carb" C2, it isn't the same. C2 is basically a mix of Coke and Diet Coke. Pepsi Edge is Pepsi sweetened with sugar and Splenda, to similar effect but a different taste.
Then, there's a really odd new spin-off, 7UP PLUS. This is a berry-flavored 7up that conatins 5% fruit juice, added calcium and vitamin C, and Splenda. Not quite as tasty as berry Sprite Remix, or the Tropical 7up I had in Canada.
All artificial sweeteners are acquired tastes. Saccharin was one I never acquired, thanks to its nasty bitter aftertaste; Nutrasweet, I acquired the taste for working at a movie theater with all-u-can-drink sodas. Splenda -- we'll see.
Splenda is kind of the reverse of saccharin -- it's a little sour at first, but with a sweet aftertaste. It's a new kind of sweetness for sodas, and isn't entirely unpleasant, though not as sweet as either sugar or Nutrasweet. Pepsi Edge, which contains sugar as well, is a useful device for gradually introducing the taste of Splenda, since it's more subtly hidden. 7up Plus doesn't really taste like a typical soda at all -- more like a juice spritzer, which is fine if you're selling it in the juice aisle, but not the soda aisle -- and I predict it won't do so well in the marketplace.
Posted by LYT at 4:58 PM | Comments (0)
Hard Times
Another '80s wrestling star dies young. The Big Boss Man, also known as Big Bubba Rogers, The Boss, The Guardian Angel, and his real name Ray Traylor, is dead at 42 of a "massive heart attack."
(another may be on the way out: John "Earthquake" Tenta is battling serious cancer)
Often times, wrestler deaths like this are caused by a combination of enlarged heart from steroid abuse, plus other drugs. Unlike Davey Boy Smith or Curt Hennig, Traylor never looked like a steroid-user. It could have been drugs.
Traylor's most successful stint was during the late '80s, when he used his past as a prison guard to create the character of Big Boss Man, who would handcuff his opponents to the ropes and beat them with a billy club. He played a significant role in the break-up of Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage, and feuded with Hogan before and after Hulk won the title back from the Macho Man. In their most memorable match, on Saturday Night's Main Event, Hogan superplexed the Boss Man off the top of a steel cage. My uncle Mike called me five minutes later and said "That's what I'm gonna do to you."
Other great Boss Man feuds included his battle with The Mountie, culminating in a match where the loser had to spend the night in a New York City jail; and Nailz, supposedly a former convict out for revenge. Back when the L.A. Sports Arena still hosted the WWF, I got to see Nailz beat the Boss Man in a steel cage.
It's really sad that all these guys are dying young. The older generation of wrestlers, who had it much tougher, are still with us -- Harley Race, Terry Funk, Bruno Sammartino, and so on. Maybe it has something to do with the way the stakes and the fame got so much higher in the 80s than ever before. It's astonishing how many of the '80s stars are gone now: Rick Rude, British Bulldog, Mr. Perfect, Road Warrior Hawk, Brian Pillman, Big Boss Man, Texas Tornado Kerry Von Erich, Junkyard Dog, Adrian Adonis, Andre the Giant, Owen Hart, Yokozuna...not all these deaths were preventable, but many were.
Posted by LYT at 4:17 PM | Comments (1)
New Team America clip shown at Comicon
Is now available online, featuring Kim Jong-Il, Hans Blix, and language that may not be appropriate for the kids.
Posted by LYT at 9:23 AM | Comments (0)
September 23, 2004
Reminder: UNTIL THE NIGHT SCREENING AT SILVER LAKE FILM FEST
I falsely told some people it was tonight, but noooooo.
Sunday, 7:45, at the arclight. Buy tix now. Come see.
Posted by LYT at 11:11 AM | Comments (1)
Review Update
Neve Campbell takes off her clothes (yes, really) in When Will I Be Loved
England is overrun by zombies in Shaun of the Dead
Quick take on National Lampoon's Gold Diggers
Posted by LYT at 1:17 AM | Comments (1)
September 22, 2004
Things that really piss me off and aren't named George Bush
Plastic soda bottles.
Not the 2 liter supermarket kind. Those are fine, stick 'em in the fridge. I refer to single-serving size plastic bottles. They do not keep the soda cold. Now I can drink warm beer (English blood, ya know), but warm soda sucks.
This becomes an issue, when you're out and about, and it's hot, and you're not fully awake and need Diet Coke or something. And by "you're," I clearly mean "I am."
All that's near is a gas station. If this were the south, there'd be a soda fountain, and you could fill a cup of ice, maybe mix a couple flavors. But no. All damn plastic bottles.
Except Coke and Diet Coke. I would have liked a Mountain Dew, but nothing beyond the Coke varieties comes in aluminum cans. Is aluminum scarce or something? They charged me a dollar for one can too.
Plastic's made from petroleum. Petroleum is scarce. Aluminum is recycled, by homeless guys who comb the trash if not by folks who go to the recycling places themselves.
I scratch my head. And down my Diet Coke.
Every once in a while, it's the little things that make me pine for the south. I'd be drinking Mello Yello there.
Posted by LYT at 2:53 AM | Comments (2)
In Memory of Russ Meyer
HOOOOOTERS!
Posted by LYT at 2:46 AM | Comments (1)
September 20, 2004
Kirikirikirikirikiri!
A little bit about my audition:
I have to be somewhat cagey, for reasons similar to those described in my last post. But I'll give you the general gist.
The film I aduitioned for is a work-in-progress called The Last Eve (you can look it up on imdb -- a good portion of it has already been completed). The director is Young Man Kang, whom you may remember from my U.S. birthday party photos.
Although Young initially mentioned to me the idea of playing a biker, the fact that I've never ridden a motorbike was a bit of a problem. So he invited me to try out for the role of a TV reporter. I saturated myself in Fox News broadcasts to get the cadences down.
Then I tried on my one and only suit (as seen in the Wally George Halloween costume on my photos page). It no longer fits me. So I put on regular black pants, a white shirt and tie, and a sport jacket that has a small stain on it. I guess I should buy a new suit, but it's a low priority right now.
Then I shaved off my extended mustache. I was going to go totally smooth, but when it got down to John Stossel levels, I thought it looked vaguely telegenic and conservative. Had I gone all out and dyed my hair black, I might have looked like a genuine Republican.
The audition was in an art gallery space above a Korean department store in mid-Wilshire, the same place where Young held the opening night party for his last film, "First Testament: CIA Vengeance" (which featured Douglas Dunning). Very few people were there. In fact, the only two other people who auditioned for the same role seemed like they were also auditioning for crew positions. They were both Asian.
I didn't think I'd be nervous -- I know Young, and the part's a relatively small one, so it isn't really something to worry about. But I found my hands shaking, and another guy dominated the audition process -- I guess he was the casting director. Buff, tan, outspoken type guy with a crewcut. He did his best to put me at ease with some casual banter, but it was still auditioning for a stranger, which is different from auditioning for a friend.
I brought some props to spice things up a bit -- the script suggested some visual aids -- but the casting guy said I either needed to make that aspect much bigger or lose it, so I decided to lose it. On the third reading, he suggested I play it slightly gay, which was fun. I enjoy improv challenges.
I was probably too nervous to be as good as I could have been, but it was fun and a learning experience. I'm not counting on getting it, but nor do I think I'm utterly out of the running.
Posted by LYT at 5:14 PM | Comments (0)
September 19, 2004
Naming the Unnameds
Hariet writes "I am so curious to know the name of the 'unnamed' project - how long before we get to know?"
She probably speaks for many of you. So here is my answer, which I will also add to the message board in the "LYT film projects" section.
I could tell you the name of the project. I could tell you the plot. At this point in time, I'm under no contract to do otherwise.
However, I'm not going to.
The reason for this is simple: We are trying to get a studio on board. You don't talk about details in this business until a deal is signed. When a deal is signed, I will spill a little more on the project. Studios are happy to have hype and fan interest on the Internet, but they don't want spoilers.
I will tell you this much -- it's a suspense thriller with supernatural elements. It's inspired by a script I wrote about five years ago. My collaborator, who will direct, read that script and liked the idea but wanted to take it in a different direction. I agreed. I haven't named him in this public forum because I don't think he wants the attention just yet. I will say only that it isn't Lucky McKee or anyone else I went to school with.
As soon as he's happy with the script, we start shopping it. It is my hope that a deal might emerge soon after. Time frames are tough to predict, and I can only assess my own contributions. The first draft is the longest, so I imagine it won't take a whole lot longer to polish the script.
I hope to share the experience of this whole project from start to finish with all of you who may wonder what it's like. But I have to do so without spilling information that's too sensitive. I hope you guys understand.
Posted by LYT at 3:34 PM | Comments (1)
September 18, 2004
The Most Important News You'll Ever Read On This Site (Or Anywhere Else)
Shatner
Shatner
SHAAAAAAT-NEEERRRRRRRRRR!
Not only has the god-man with the indestructible fake hair recently won his first Emmy, but something even greater has occurred...
HE HAS A NEW ALBUM COMING OUT!
This is not distant speculation. It's coming out in a couple of weeks. You can pre-order it.
If this news means nothing to you, you should be aware that I now loathe you.
(thanks to my cyber-pal Max Mercury for the news)
Posted by LYT at 1:36 AM | Comments (2)
September 16, 2004
Utter Cinematic Genius
I talked about SEED OF CHUCKY before, btu now that I found out Britney Spears is in it...Wow. This will be the best film ever.
(Tell yourself I'm kidding if that comforts you)
The new trailer, a must-watch, is HERE
Posted by LYT at 10:54 PM | Comments (1)
Triumph
No, not the dog puppet. A few reasons have arrived to feel a real sense of achievment right now.
Most significantly, the first draft of The Unnamed Project is done. Okay, technically it's not exactly the first draft. Draft one pre-dates it being any kind of realistic project -- my original script written back in 1998 or 1999. Draft two made it as far as approximately 70 pages before being turned down by the director. Draft three only made it to 40-some pages. Then we spent a week ironing out a scene-by-scene treatment. Then I started again on a whole new draft, emailing each new installment to the director as I did it to ensure things were going in a reasonable direction. That is the draft I just finished.
Collaboration on this level is new to me -- the only time I've done anything like it before was when I cowrote a one-act play with my mother back in high school. The collaboration I have with this director isn't like your standard screenwriting partner deal -- I've accepted from the very beginning that this is his movie, and I'm writing it for him. Therefore, there are no fights over details; I may at times argue a case that something doesn't makes sense or isn't logical, but I always give him the final say. Only one scene remains pretty much exactly as it was from my original original.
There will, of course, be re-writes (the less the better, so here's hoping), but those will be minor compared to the task I've just put behind me.
There's more good news, unrelated to the screenplay.
LOST IN THE BUSH is now available to purchase online. Or rather, you can get a copy of it with a donation to Mo-Freek Filmworks. Due to certain technicalities, it isn't strictly possible to sell the DVD, but it can be given in exchange for a donation. LOST IN THE BUSH features me in a small role (unlike UNTIL THE NIGHT, however, I have dialogue and scenes prior to the end credits).
But there's better news associated with that. It may not be long now until you can own a film directed by LYT.
Believe it or not, that's almost as much a surprise to me as it is to any of you. Last December, when we shot LOST IN THE BUSH, Kevin handed me a camera and said "This is yours for the weekend. Shoot some B-roll." One of my shots actually ended up in the movie, but the rest went onto a series of tapes, and includes all manner of behind-the-scenes chicanery.
Now Kevin is editing those tapes together into a documentary featurette that I've entitled "Lost Weekend: Three Days Getting Bushed." I have no doubt that if needed, one or more of our musical friends can come up with something to score the piece. And Kevin plans to make this available on a separate disc along with two other Bush-related featurettes -- one which features Jane's Addiction drummer Stephen Perkins creating the score, and another that I don't remember the details of right now.
Kevin has many projects on his slate, so I don't expect him to edit the thing right away. But when he does, you can own it. Having a film directed and shot by me and edited by Kevin is a real thrill, especially since it'll be available online for all of you to obtain (may not play in all countries though).
In yet other news, I have my first ever acting audition on Saturday. And don't forget UNTIL THE NIGHT is playing at the Arclight next week as part of the Silver Lake Film Fest!
Posted by LYT at 5:07 PM | Comments (4)
Reviews Galore
Lots to read today. Some of these were run in paragraph form before, but these are all fuill-length unless otherwise noted.
South Korea produces a top-notch war flick in Tae Guk Gi
Mamoru Oshii gets robotic with Ghost in the Shell 2: Innocence
Takashi Miike gets mad cow disease in the mindfuck that is Gozu
Sins of the father affect the son in The Inheritance
And some quick takes on Cellular and Resident Evil: Apocalypse
Posted by LYT at 12:14 AM | Comments (2)
September 14, 2004
Northern Exposure
I've just cut a deal to have reviews printed in Alaska's Anchorage Press. Generally, they'll be pretty similar to my CityBeat reviews, though there may be an occasional new one here and there.
Posted by LYT at 4:48 PM | Comments (1)
Star Wars: The extra-special edition
It has been confirmed that the Star Wars trilogy DVDs due out in two weeks do indeed have new CGI changes, though perhaps not as many as first thought (note also that this will probably not be the last time they're changed)
The key differences:
-CGI Jabba fixed, made to look more like Phantom Menace Jabba
-Greedo still fires first, but Han fires at almost the same time now, and Greedo only barely misses
-Boba Fett's voice re-dubbed by Temuera Morrison (notably, the Stormtroopers have not been redubbed -- maybe they're not clones after all)
-Clive Revill replaced as the Emperor with Ian McDiarmid. Vader's dialogue with the Emperor hologram altered slightly (here's hoping they actually got James Earl Jones to do it this time, unlike when they "fixed" his dialogue in Empire the first time)
-Luke's girly death scream in Cloud City deleted (good move)
-Naboo added to the celebration scenes at the end of Jedi
-eyebrows digitally erased on unmasked Vader
-Hayden Christensen's ghost appears at the end, replacing Sebastian Shaw. Hayden is wearing the standard brown/beige Jedi outfit rather than the black tunic combo he wore in AOTC.
Discuss
Posted by LYT at 4:46 PM | Comments (4)
DVD review: KAENA - THE PROPHECY
I wrote this long review for New Times, but the film did so poorly that this piece never ran. Now it's out on DVD, so I figure it never will. If you're thinking about renting it, read on:
The Dork Crystal
Kaena: The Prophecy looks great, but comes up short in other areas.
BY LUKE Y. THOMPSON
There are moments of Kaena: The Prophecy that will blow your mind, from the opening sequence, in which we are taken through the heart of a massive spaceship that’s in the midst of a slow explosion, to the film’s villains, a couple of “sap monsters” who look like H.R. Giger sculptures made of flowing liquid. The aerial predators called sharkens and the worms that wear full-body robot suits in order to fly aren’t bad either. So it’s a shame that this all-CG movie had to go and spoil things by making the main characters a bunch of humans. People are tough to render in computer animation, and the makers of Kaena aren’t entirely up to the task.
Except, perhaps, when it comes to the female lead, Kaena (rhymes with “hyena”), who has been created in full babe-a-licious detail clad in a buckskin bikini and what appear to be cotton undies one size too small, exposing buttcrack throughout. This is a French movie, after all, and they’re none too shy about showing skin over there. That Kaena is voiced in the English dub by Kirsten Dunst only adds to the drool factor, and also plays like a knowing in-joke, given the way the character swings through the air from platform to platform like some kind of arachnid superhero.
Kaena’s a bit of a loner and a troublemaker, which is understandable when you’re the only supermodel in a village full of cartoon characters (all the other humans look like their counterparts in Ice Age). The village exists somewhere in a gigantic tree trunk called Axis, surrounded by clouds above and below. Like many less-than-modern societies, these humans are kept in line by nutty, fanatical religious beliefs, though it is soon revealed, to the viewer at least, that the “gods” are in fact Selenites -- the aforementioned sap monsters -- who are the last of the inhabitants of the world at the roots of Axis, and are using the humans to provide them with free food.
The Selenite queen, voiced by Anjelica Huston, is like a stereotypical bad housewife. All she does is eat and yell -- eating keeps her strength up for yelling, and her yell functions as a sonic weapon, with which she is constantly trying to destroy a glowing blue orb called Vecanoi, which is the energy core of the crashed spaceship, something the queen believes to be killing her world. Meanwhile, henpecked hubby Voxem (Keith David) just wants the queen to put out already (“fusioning,” he calls it). Her reluctance is understandable, though: the Selenites are insects, and the female always dies in childbirth.
There’s also an ancient alien scientist who survived the original crash as a child, voiced by the late Richard Harris, who wants Vecanoi for himself, as it contains a repository of all the knowledge accumulated by his people, or something.
The story of primitive religious mystics pitted against ugly, craggy insectoids for control of a great glowing object also sought by a free-spirited independent protagonist is reminiscent of The Dark Crystal, but it isn’t the only thing that is. Kaena resembles the Jim Henson fantasy in many ways, from its visual imagination and creature design to the hideousness of its more humanoid characters and the general mediocrity of the voice acting. Dunst and David are experienced at this sort of thing and do fine (she was the lead in the English dub of Kiki’s Delivery Service, and David is the guy everyone calls for voiceovers when James Earl Jones isn’t available), but the rest of the cast just don’t really fit. Particularly miscast is comedian Greg Proops as one of the flying worms; you may remember him as the voice of the similarly annoying podrace announcer in The Phantom Menace (“I don’t care what universe you’re from, that’s gotta hurt!”). The original French cast features the likes of Cecile de France (Around the World in 80 Days, the upcoming slasher High Tension) and Victoria Abril (Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down!), but unfortunately it looks like we’ll have to wait for the DVD release to hear the movie as the film-makers intended.
Kaena was originally created as a demo for a video game, but along the way became a full-fledged feature with two officially credited screenwriters, one additional dialogue writer, and five folks credited with “additional screenplay contribution” (what happened to WGA rules limiting this stuff?). To everyone’s credit, what’s left doesn’t feel like a mindless game, certainly not to the same extent Van Helsing did. But it is a strange mix, perhaps reflecting the sheer number of writers. On the surface it seems like a kid’s movie, but Kaena’s fetishistic wardrobe changes (including at least one blink-and-you’ll-miss-it fully nude shot) and the innuendo-laden Selenite mating scene are such that the film’s PG-13 rating comes as a surprise. French parents tend to be less bothered by this sort of thing.
Here in the U.S.A., such elements tend to suggest a film for older audiences, but if that’s the case, why not give us more mature moviegoers the original French dialogue? It’s not like people will be paying much attention to the story anyhow -- the visuals are what make this movie, and they are often unforgettable.
Posted by LYT at 4:36 PM | Comments (1)
September 13, 2004
Sin Agog
Remember all my gushing about the promo reel for the SIN CITY movie shown at Comicon?
It's online at last. HERE
P.S. A very happy birthday to LOUIS C.K.!
Posted by LYT at 1:19 AM | Comments (1)
September 12, 2004
In case you haven't already read it elsewhere...
The top ten censored news stories of 2003-2004. As always, edifying and depressing.
Funny how it's the "liberal" media that's apparently failing to report on stories that could only help liberal causes.
Meanwhile, North Korean nutbag Kim Jong Il finally tested a nuclear weapon. Three days ago, a mushroom cloud 2 miles wide was detected by satellites in North Korea. The news was only reported yesterday.
Gee, wasn't Bush supposed to make us safer?
"But you liberals would have opposed war anyway!"
The major reason I oppose war on North Korea is that they have nukes that can reach the west coast. Even one successfully detonating on U.S. soil is an unacceptable loss. North Korea knows if they did that pre-emptively, they'd be wiped off the map. But if we invade, they have nothing to lose and would probably try to hurt us as badly as possible.
Problem is, Bush has done nothing except publicly insult Kim (whether he deserves it or not is beside the point) and renege on promises made by the Clinton administration.
Even if one posits that Clinton got it wrong, Bush has had four years to get it right (and Clinton told him, ahead of time, that North Korea would likely be his biggest problem). Instead, he went after the guy who had no such weapons.
Given that some of the warhawks in the Bush administration are the same people who were advocating a pre-emptive strike on the USSR during the Cold War, this whole thing makes me very afraid. You should be too.
Even if you don't live on the west coast.
Posted by LYT at 11:22 PM | Comments (0)
Ugliest damn toy I've seen in a while
It's called the Albino Squid.
Albinos and squids should sue.
Posted by LYT at 10:29 PM | Comments (0)
September 11, 2004
This is what a moment of silence looks like
...
Posted by LYT at 12:19 AM | Comments (1)
September 10, 2004
S.O.S.
A good friend is in SERIOUS NEED OF A JOB. She'll do anything, but if it's minimum wage, it must be at least 40 hrs/week. If not minimum wage, at least the paycheck equivalent of 40 hrs/wk at min. wage. It must be within the L.A. area, or within a reasonable driving distance away.
She's very skilled, but also humble and will not consider any honest job to be beneath her. Has experience in customer service, office administrative work, food service, music business and performance, radio, publicity, tech support, cinema/TV production and post-production work, film and video scoring, writing first-person perspective articles and reviews, website creation, artistic design...probably more that I'm not thinking of.
If you know of a job, but think, "Ahh, it's too boring or mundane for someone with those skills," CANCEL THAT THOUGHT. She will do that mundane job better than you can imagine.
email me if you know of anything. It will be much appreciated.
Posted by LYT at 6:07 PM | Comments (0)
More Night Moves
Writer-director Gregory Hatanaka has sent out an announcement regarding future screenings of UNTIL THE NIGHT:
"Thanks to all who made it out to the American Cinematheque screening last month. And for those of you who missed it (and want to see it), the film will be screening at 5 festivals & one special screening during this month and October. Please check each festival's website for more information. Thanks for your support! -- Greg
- Loyola Marymount University, Film Studies screening, Tuesday, September 14, 7:15pm - (Admission is free)
- Silverlake Film Festival @ The Arclight Cinemas on Sunday, September 26th @ 7:45pm (www.silverlakefilmfestival.org)
- San Diego Film Festival on Thursday, September 30th @ 10pm
(www.sdff.org)
- Idaho Film Festival on Friday & Sunday, October 1 & October 3
(www.idahofilmfestival.com)
- Starz Denver International Film Festival, October 14-24
(www.denverfilm.org)
- Hamptons International Film Festival, October 20-24
(www.hamptonsfilmfest.org)
See the film's website at: www.untilthenightmovie.com"
Posted by LYT at 5:58 PM | Comments (0)
September 9, 2004
Reviews Galore
Eastern lore meets western-style movie in Warriors of Heaven and Earth
Quick takes on:
The Inheritance (long review may see print someday soon)
Posted by LYT at 6:47 PM | Comments (2)
Beyond Spinal Tap
Here's an article by me in the latest issue of CityBeat, about the portrayal of heavy metal in movies.
Posted by LYT at 1:58 PM | Comments (2)
Awwwww Yeeeeeeeeah
Lifelong Goal # 356 now achieved: Yelling chorus to "Ice Ice Baby" directly into Vanilla Ice's microphone.
Yep, I saw him live tonight. Several friends had expressed interest in the weeks leading up to the show, but all dropped out for various reasons. That's okay, though -- I made a new one. Fellow named Matt, who likes much of the same kind of music I do. We bought each other beers, and he made out like a bandit with giveaways thrown from the stage -- T-shirt, setlist, drumstick... he was kind enough to give me the camouflage baseball cap he caught. It's too small for my head, but it's advertising Vanilla freakin' Ice's motocross company, yo! Matt even got to go backstage to get V-Ice's signature on all the items, though as soon as he went home, the man himself emerged into the lobby to hang out.
I had seen Vanilla before, but this was a taping for VH-1 -- Surreal Life castmate Ron Jeremy intro'ed the show, with his usual shtick about how he's living proof anyone can get laid (actually, I think I'm that proof, but never mind). So we got the full lyrics to Ice Ice Baby this time out (the rap-metal version only does verse 1), and the pothead single "Roll 'em Up" from the out-of-print CD "Mind Blowin'."
I was up at the very front, getting soaked with Vanilla's water bottles, and tapping knuckles with him several times. I damn well better be on the show.
The only downer is that Vanilla seems to be a Republican -- he praised Bush and dissed Kerry a bit before admitting that it didn't matter too much to him, as he's a felon and can't vote. Then he said he should run for president. He could -- Leonard Peltier is running from prison.
The webmaster of Vanillaiceunderground.com, recognized the lytrules url on the back of my shirt, because I linked to their "Rob for President" page about a week ago. He had a shirt that read "Yes, I am a Vanilla Ice fan." I owe him an email cuz I need one of those.
Posted by LYT at 3:24 AM | Comments (1)
LYT in the (inside) news
Scroll down enough times on this Press Club newsletter to see a charming photo of me with Cathy Seipp and Cecile DuBois.
Posted by LYT at 1:33 AM | Comments (0)
September 8, 2004
Odd new trends in the rasslin' world
It seems the WWE is turning to self-parody in their new line of T-shirts. But does it work?
You decide.
Here, The Undertaker parodies Quaker Oats.
Hilarious, right?
But that has nothing on what they did to Triple-H
So what's next? Levi's 501 Eu-jeans? Candy Kanes? JBL loudspeakers?
There'll be more, I'm sure.
Posted by LYT at 5:50 PM | Comments (0)
Heavy Company
Jeff Wells' latest online column has a photo of me side-by-side with Roger Ebert and Andrew Sarris. It's because Ebert and I were among the few cheking our email over the holiday weekend, and therefore we actually responded to a survey by deadline time.
Anyway, we're quoted about films we've changed our minds on over the years.
Posted by LYT at 12:05 PM | Comments (0)
September 7, 2004
News You Can Use
How to best avoid a DUI.
note that Phoenix laws may vary from those of other states.
I know many people who think DUI laws are needlessly punitive and harsh, but are afraid to say so. My somewhat libertarian viewpoint on the issue is that dangerous driving is dangerous driving, whatever the cause. Likewise, safe is safe. If someone can handle their liquor, let 'em. If they can't, should they be treated worse than people who drive equally badly because of a cell phone conversation? The victims won't be safe either way.
Posted by LYT at 2:20 AM | Comments (1)
The Tale of the Fierce Bad Rabbit
The Brown Bunny, that is. Finally saw it today.
I was a little mixed on it until the ending, when it utterly floored me. And no, I'm not talking about the infamous blowjob. The BJ is sleight-of-hand, a warm-up to the real suckerpunch.
I don't know how many people other than me and Kevin Thomas saw Vincent Gallo in TROUBLE EVERY DAY, the Claire Denis vampire film. Gallo has clearly learned a lot from Denis, especially copping her understated, minimlaist style. But in addition -- and I think it's OK to "spoil" TROUBLE EVERY DAY at this point, since it's been out a while -- the climax of that film involved a vampire Gallo having sex, going down on a chick, and then very literally and graphically eating her pussy, with blood everywhere. Clearly he thought someone should return the favor.
THE BROWN BUNNY is a slow-moving mood piece. You should know that going in. To synopsize -- there's a motorbike race. Gallo's character takes his bike and packs it into his van. Then he drives across country, pining for lost love Daisy (Chloe Sevigny) and periodically stopping to make out with other women who have flower-inspired names, only to dump them harshly when he figures out it just isn't the same. Finally he makes it to L.A., and his past is revealed. Also he gets a real blowjob. That's pretty much it.
It's interesting, because I saw MEAN CREEK earlier in the day, and thought it was good up to a point. You know something bad's gonna happen, and you have a pretty good idea what, and once it does, the movie gets predictable and dull. I thought to myself that it might be a better flick if they showed the aftermath first, didn't tell us what had happened, then backtracked. THE BROWN BUNNY does just that.
I must admit I really don't like the opening of BROWN BUNNY -- it's a poorly shot motorbike race, and feels like Gallo couldn't get his camera close, so he half-assed it. It's the only part of the film that feels like a compromise (thank you, Vince, for cutting 4.5 minutes of it). The rest I admit I can somewhat relate to, having driven cross-country by myself. I don't entirely buy the character's skill at getting strange women to make out with him -- especially since Gallo himself thinks that he's ugly -- but later developments imply that the women may be all a delusion anyway.
BROWN BUNNY will aggravate some with its length. Many will say the story could have been told in 10 minutes or so. I think not. The drawing out of mundane details makes absolute sense once you know what's going on.
I think friends of mine will like this quite a bit. Kevin Ford, for one, has made similar things, though he's never shown himself get blown on camera and don't know if he would. Justin and Zach, if you guys read this, I think you'll get it. I don't know about everyone else. This is a film that requires a bit of patience, and the ability to connect with the director/star/cinematographer/editor/etc (the sheer number of credits Gallo gives himself get laughs).
I say it's art. Imperfect art, but power to him nonetheless.
Posted by LYT at 12:33 AM | Comments (5)
September 6, 2004
Happy Labor Day!
Those who labor at thankless jobs day in and day out are the real heroes.
Posted by LYT at 2:17 PM | Comments (0)
just for the helluvit
Which Evil Criminal are You?
A Rum and Monkey crime.
Posted by LYT at 3:52 AM | Comments (2)
Nut Rider
A video THAT MUST BE SEEN
I hear they can't get enough of it in Germany.
Posted by LYT at 2:43 AM | Comments (2)
MUST-SEE MOVIE
Tae Guk Gi: The Brotherhood of War.
If you're in L.A., it's palying at the Laemmle Fairfax, and every Korean in L.A. is coming to see it.
This is South Korea's version of Private Ryan, only it's better. It's epic and huge and massive budget yet intimate and very human. It's action packed, but shows that war is hell. It questions war even as it presentes us with a better enemy than the Nazis for today's times -- the North Koreans.
This is not just one of the best fiolms of the year -- I believe it will join the list of great war movies of all time that includes Wings, Gone With the Wind, Full Metal Jacket, and Apocalypse Now.
Jerry Bruckheimer could learn a thing or two from it. So could you. Go now.
Posted by LYT at 12:21 AM | Comments (0)
September 4, 2004
The Russians Love Their Children Too
What a hideous, hideous thing in Russia. The images in the Times were heart-rending. I guess the Chechnyan separtists don't want any sympathy any more, because they'll certainly never get it again.
I feel kinda stupid saying my heart goes out to those affected, because I don't know any of them, and the odds are very much against their knowing or caring what I have to say. But the world mourns with them.
What appalls me is those pundits on these shores who couldn't wait until the bodies were cold to use this heinous act as "evidence" that we need to re-elect George Bush. Aside from the lack of logic on that connection, have they no shame?
If there's one thing I personally learned from 9-11, it's that using tragedy to further your political point before the grieving's even been done comes off as both pompous and pathetic. That goes for both the Susan Sontags and the Jerry Falwells of the world.
Let them bury their dead. The last thing they care about right now is what you think of John Kerry.
Posted by LYT at 7:30 PM | Comments (1)
Beside the Seaside
This is the final UK post. I've been so busy with other writing work that it's taken a while. There are no more cute kids to show from here on out. These parting shots of my dad and family are the closest.
This one's been photoshopped a bit for maximum clarity, as you can likely tell
If you're keeping tabs, this means that the only family now left in the small Dorset town of Buckland-Newton were me, my mother, and my grandparents.
Observation: My grandparents bicker at each other more now than they've ever done before. They also say they're happier than ever before.
Here's the great Reverend in action picking tomatoes...
...and digging for parsnips...
Success!
Anyway, there's not a lot to do in Buckland-Newton. This is literally the only shop:
And this is a typical view:
So we went to the coast instead. Here you see a bit of it, with an island dead ahead that, if I recall correctly, is called Portland.
English beaches get pretty crowded, because when the sun comes out, everyone gets the same idea.
So I didn't swim. But I did get in the spirit of things.
The big difference I noticed between this seaside, and, say, Venice Beach here in CA, is that this was a total family-oriented (or "orientated" as they say in England) environment, full of bright colors, candy stores, and carnival rides. Venice is all dope-smokers, tattoo and piercing studios, performance artists, and political literature.
Even the buildings are appropriately cheery.
I went into a local toy store to see if I could find anything rare. No such luck, but I did buy the stylin' Union Jack tank top you currently see on this site's front page.
And it provoked interesting reactions. If you think American liberals are reluctant to embrace the flag, well, that's nothing compared to the way English liberals (liberals, mind, not radical revolutionaries) see their flag. I was told I looked like a member of the National Front, a fascist/racist fringe group. The fact that I have tattoos sealed the comparison. I tried an American political tactic of arguing via pithy soundbite -- "I thought this was the UNITED kingdom, not the DIVIDED kingdom" -- but the retort I got was "That's what the National Front would say!"
Sad that the flag of a nation is so easily ceded to hate groups.
On a minor political tangent, I was asked by someone if I was embarassed to have George Bush as president. I'm not sure how to answer that. I don't like having him as president, but embarassed? I didn't vote for him, and the majority of Americans didn't vote for him. But frankly -- what world leaders out there are really great people? Putin? Blair? Berlusconi? Hu Jintao? Standards are pretty low all around. And frankly, after Reagan, there shouldn't be anything that could surprise anyone.
You could make a case that Bush is the worst when it comes to current leaders of free democracies, but still, I'm not sure how that personally reflects on me. So embarassed isn't the word. More like "resigned."
We now rejoin our story already in progress, at a pub lunch (pub lunches are da bomb).
After lunch, and a few pints of "Fursty Ferret" ale, we walked along the upper coastline. There's an old military fort there, but they (over)charge admission, so I just took this photo instead.
After the walk, my mom and I went to the King Tut museum in Dorchester. Why a King Tut museum in Dorchester, you may ask. Not sure why Dorchester, but as I understand it the original relics don't do any travelling these days, so this museum was allowed to make exact replicas of everything. So it's all copies, but done well, and with some educational backstory well presented.
No photos -- like the nuclear bunker, they ban 'em in hopes that you'll buy their badly photographed postcards.
I'm not sure if it was that day or the next, but my mom and I went on a walk through the fields to pick blackberries. I thought I was in pretty good cardio condition, but she totally schooled my ass. There were some mitigating factors -- lots of annoying buzzing things around my head, my inappropriate attire (shorts), and the fact that on the steepest hill there was an electric fence to my left and stinging nettles to my right (NOT GOOD with bare legs!). She makes fun of me for being out of shape, which I'm not, really. Just ill-prepared in that case.
Before bidding the grandparents farewell, there was one final stop.
The ground beneath my grandparents' feet you see here is their recently purchased burial plot. It's in a relatively new funeral home, and eco-friendly one where they grow trees between plots, and presumably the decomposition feeds the plants. I seriously doubt they'll be needing this for quite a while yet.
And that's the trip, folks. If you're ever headed for the UK, holler and I might hook you up with some of these characters.
Posted by LYT at 1:44 AM | Comments (4)
September 2, 2004
My CityBeat review for today
Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2
So many things about this movie are so, so wrong that it’s almost right. “Anaconda” fans upset at Jon Voight’s absence from that film’s sequel may be glad to know that he did this one instead, playing an evil Nazi who plans to take over the world using subliminal messages hidden in a kiddie TV series about a large dancing frog. His arch-enemy is Kahuna (triplets Gerry, Leo, and Myles Fitzgerald), a 70-year-old superspy who lives under the Hollywood sign and never ages; thus he’s forever stuck in the body of a preschooler, able to communicate with both babies and adults. Kahuna is a master of wire-fu moves, and he also has a green serum that temporarily makes his muscles grow like Popeye’s. Aiding Kahuna are a bunch of toddlers (not really babies, but oh well) who, in the film’s climax, gain the super-powers alluded to in the movie’s title.
No-one can really make a case that this is a good movie, especially since it has some of the worst audio looping to ever make it to the big screen. Still, it’s worthy of note simply because it consistently delivers images that you just can’t believe you’re watching. Director Bob Clark used to have the semblance of talent -- “A Christmas Story” is one of the all-time classics of children’s cinema -- but he’s slipping; his last movie before this was called “The Karate Dog”, also starring Voight alongside an ass-kicking canine and Pat Morita.
Bottom line: Connoisseurs of bad cinema simply must see “Superbabies”, preferably while under the influence of something or other.
Posted by LYT at 5:20 PM | Comments (1)
September 1, 2004
Ripping consumers off -- the Christian thing to do?
The Passion of the Christ comes out on DVD this week. As you may recall by looking in the archives, I thought it was an impressive, if over-bombastic film, and I bonded with Bob Dornan over it.
It'll probably set a sales record. Churches and Christian groups will buy it in bulk.
Here's the problem: It's a "bare-bones" DVD, i.e. just the film, no extras.
So what? Why does every DVD need extras? Fair point. Not every DVD does.
Except according to the LA Times, there are extras in existence, and they'll appear on a new "special edition" Passion dvd due out next Easter.
Regular consumers are savvy to this kind of marketing ploy -- I have many friends who refuse to buy KILL BILL on dvd until the combined set comes out. But given that the Holy Spirit is co-director of The Passion (according to sole-credited director Mel Gibson), do you think that the third part of the Holy Trinity approves of fleecing the flock for two different versions of the disc?
The second part of that Trinity, i.e. Mr. Christ Himself, is pretty clear on the subject of theft.
[I strongly advise readers to check out the comments on this post, which raise more good points, pro and con, on the subject]
Posted by LYT at 2:05 AM | Comments (15)