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January 31, 2005
As for Iraq's elections...
Marc Cooper pretty much says it better than I could.
Posted by LYT at 3:32 PM | Comments (2)
My Magnet Tar-Pit Trap
Some new stuff came in the mail today. I ordered some new business cards, by an American company this time (one of the right-wingers at the Liberty Film Fest gave me their info -- who says conservatives are good for nothing?). They're cheaper, smaller, and slightly lower quality than the UK ones I had before, but I like the security of having a company that's in country so I can contact them easily if things go wrong.
Anyway, they also made me some fridge magnets based on my card. These are not like the Cafepress metal magnets -- these are the flat, bendy kind of magnets. Same image as THIS CAFEPRESS STICKER.
For a limited time only, if you'd like one ABSOLUTELY FREE, send me a self-addressed stamped envelope and I will give you one. They weigh about the same as an average letter, so postage should be normal.
These will eventually be added to the merchandise page here at the site for a buck, so get yours now while I'm still being generous.
I'm not about to make my address public on this site, though. You have to email me for it.
Unfortunately, this offer is only good for those who can get their hands on U.S. postage, which I'm afraid rules out most of my international readers. Sorry, but I can't spare the time to wait endlessly in line at the post office to buy UK or France postage for a tiny magnet. If you're family, you'll probably get one eventually anyway.
Posted by LYT at 3:06 PM | Comments (0)
January 30, 2005
New Trailer Trash column, at long last
You know where
Posted by LYT at 11:20 PM | Comments (1)
So wrong on so many levels
You'd have to be barking mad...
Posted by LYT at 1:40 PM | Comments (5)
January 28, 2005
Don't wanna buy Guitar World?
You can see the Fozzy video online HERE (click on "Enemy")
Posted by LYT at 3:50 PM | Comments (2)
January 27, 2005
Guess what came in the mail today?
The calendar is un-fucking-believable. They do good work. Bumper sticker and license plate holder are also very nice.
The pillow's not that soft on the photo side, but that's part of the process, I guess. Shirts are light and sizes run a little larger than, say, WWE Shopzone.
I gotta get more of these things...
Posted by LYT at 3:36 PM | Comments (4)
Review Update
"In fact, what's notable about the religion on display here is its emphasis on forgiveness and turning the other cheek -- a notion that seems to have been forgotten in the current climate of warmongering fundamentalists. Try this for martyrdom: When confronted with angry, violent warriors, the American missionaries refused to fight back, on the grounds that they believed they were ready to go to heaven but that their adversaries weren't."
Read the rest HERE
Posted by LYT at 1:30 AM | Comments (5)
January 25, 2005
LYT in GUITAR WORLD magazine!
The current issue of Guitar World, dated March and featuring the late Dimebag Darrell on the cover, comes with a CD-ROM (plays on Mac and PC) that includes the Fozzy video "Enemy," directed by Paul Hough and featuring me.
I have no idea if this magazine is available internationally (maybe my UK readers could check?), but certainly nationally.
Posted by LYT at 10:22 PM | Comments (0)
Only a few left
Yes, there are only a few more items I can add to the Cafepress store -- basically white t-shirts, longsleeves, and women-shaped shirts.
I'm not a fan of white shirts. But I'll add some if any of you want them. Tell me if you do, and if so, what do you want to see on them?
Some possibilities:
- anti-LYT shirts ("LYT sucks," etc., maybe with a little ReJeKt head on them)
- political parody ("LYT for president," or even our left-wing slogan winner from a year ago, "Republicans Hate Porn")
- movie-related ("Dogsauce Brothers Crew," or something)
- original artwork, by me or (preferably) my more artistically gifted friends.
- Tattoo replica logos (dreamcatcher back designs, etc.)
- more smart-ass slogans
- more photos, or even the same ones
- His Wife Bruce, KnifEdge, Robby the Redneck logos or images (Note: It is HIGHLY unlikely that they'll let me sell a shirt that says "You're a fag! Heeh heeh heeh!" so don't ask)
In the comments section, tell me if you'd buy any of those, and if so, which you'd prefer.
Posted by LYT at 2:14 AM | Comments (5)
January 24, 2005
This could be my best shirt yet
Old school wrestling fans will appreciate my newest cafepress creation.
Posted by LYT at 5:22 PM | Comments (0)
January 23, 2005
Lost Review: Stephen King's Riding the Bullet
Every once in a while, I'll write a review for another paper that, for one reason or another, is never run. Riding the Bullet died a quick death in theaters, but since it's premiering on cable TV tonight, this seems like a good time to resurrect the review you never saw (I was particularly happy with this review too).
Bullet in the Head
Mick Garris and Stephen King’s latest ride is like a bad dream on a low budget.
Does anyone out there think David Arquette is frightening? Not “It’s a scary world we live in when people keep hiring David Arquette” frightening; really, really terrifying, as in “Run! David Arquette’s coming to kill you!” No? What about if he had a little bit of Halloween make-up on his face, and dark circles around his eyes to make him look dead -- still nothing?
Right. Well, that’s just one of the problems with Stephen King’s Riding the Bullet, the latest collaboration between the prolific Maine author and his favorite adapter, director Mick Garris (Sleepwalkers, TV’s The Stand and The Shining). David Arquette is supposed to be the scariest guy in the movie. There’s also some older guy in a black robe with dark gray monster make-up on his face, but good luck keeping the smile off of yours when he starts chanting for protagonist Alan Parker (Jonathan Jackson) to kill himself. Yes, the lead character’s name really is Alan Parker, presumably a homage to the director of Angel Heart, one of many movies that clearly inspired this tale.
But we’re getting ahead of ourselves. The movie begins with typical Wonder Years-style faux home movies that go on way too long, then grabs our attention by showing a gratuitously naked girl modeling for art students (we never see this girl again, but without her we might not know that this isn’t a made-for-TV movie). It’s 1969, and our Alan keeps drawing scary pictures that resemble those of Swamp Thing creator Berni Wrigthson, and often hallucinates a doppelganger of himself who cracks jokes and gives him obnoxious advice. Alan also hallucinates alternate “scary” takes of things that are about to happen, which leads to numerous “Whoa, that was all just a dream!” fake-outs. An exhausting number of them, in fact.
When his mother (Barbara Hershey) has a stroke on Halloween, Alan gives away his valuable John Lennon concert tickets and instead decides to hitchhike back to his hometown to see mom in the hospital. Along the way, he will get rides from a pot-smoking, draft-dodging soldier disguised as a hippie; an incessantly crotch-grabbing Cliff Robertson; and finally, David Arquette. Imagine a feature-length version of the “Large Marge” sequence from Pee-wee’s Big Adventure and you won’t be too far off, only that was scarier.
Garris may well be a good buddy of King’s, but he’s also very much a TV guy, and it shows -- King may prefer Garris’ TV adaptation of The Shining to Stanley Kubrick’s film, but it’s doubtful many others do. Riding the Bullet doesn’t feel like an actual film; the color scheme, lighting, and framing are all more reminiscent of ‘80s horror anthology shows like Freddy’s Nightmares or Monsters (Garris did in fact direct an episode of the former). Although most of the action is set on country roads at night, everything is brightly lit by what must surely be the biggest, whitest moon ever! Except then a character explicitly mentions that it’s a harvest moon. D’oh!
When it comes to adapting King, sometimes absolute fealty just doesn’t translate. Hearing a crow suddenly say “What the fuck are you lookin’ at?” in a Joe Pesci-like voice, when shown matter-of-factly, doesn’t play as scary or trippy, just stupid. And for sheer absurdity, how about the scene in which Alan is chased by rednecks in a pick-up truck? First of all, he could easily run into the nearby woods, between the trees, but instead he cuts across the wide expanse of grass where the truck has no problem following him. Fortunately, he manages to find a large assortment of rusty old appliances in the middle of a field, and he hides in one. Unfortunately, there’s a tarantula inside with him. You know, one of those wild tarantulas that are so common in Maine.
As for the “Bullet,” it’s a roller coaster that Alan waited in line for as a child, then got scared and refused to ride. In a cloying coda sequence, we are also told that it’s a metaphor for life, because you either get on or you don’t, and then you die, or something. Honestly, if we’re going to get that simplistic, one could make a metaphor out of anything. Did you ever know that life is like writing a film review? You either express yourself well or you don’t, and then it’s over.
See how easy that was?
Film reviews, however, unlike roller coasters, don’t exist in amusement parks, settings beloved by the many hack horror directors who saw Carnival of Souls once upon a time and decided they’d like to crib from it. Gee, there’s a hall of mirrors -- wonder if our hero will see a scary reflection inside? Oh wait, it was just a hallucination. No, wait! It’s now a flashback! Or is it a dream? Do we care? Perhaps in the hands of a surrealist, we might, but Garris isn’t that complex a craftsman, and it’s clear that he’s just going for cheap shocks. Unfortunately he’s none too successful even at that.
Posted by LYT at 5:55 PM | Comments (2)
January 22, 2005
LYT all year long
Just added to the store a 12-month LYT calendar, featuring 12 photos from my personal collection, most of which regular readers have already seen. This is probably of more interest to distant family than anyone else.
Almost all the images are of me and me only -- this is not an ego thing for once, but because due to copyright law, I cannot sell anything that uses a likeness somebody else owns the rights to. Thus, The Rock, for instance, is an obvious red flag. Someone like Sarah Lassez or Agnes Bruckner less so, but still an issue -- actresses' publicists might have a problem even if the talent doesn't.
Posted by LYT at 12:31 PM | Comments (8)
January 21, 2005
Open call for extras
If you're free this Sunday from 10 a.m. to 7p.m. and would like to be in MAD COWGIRL, please contact me ASAP.
Posted by LYT at 7:22 PM | Comments (0)
Happy Happy, Toy Toy
McFarlane Toys just released a whole bunch of new images and plans regarding their toys for the rest of the year. Casual readers may remember McFarlane as the folks behind the historical murderers line, the Twisted Land of Oz, and the recent dominatrix-style Little Red Riding Hood I just posted a few days ago.
Here are the rest of the Twisted Fairy Tales:
Humpty Dumpty (warning: serious risk of losing your lunch when you see this one)
So, what sick, twisted, and depraved toy lines are they going to bless us with this year?
The Simpsons
The Wallace and Gromit movie
and
A more obvious license that they got was Tim Burton's new stop-motion flick THE CORPSE BRIDE. And they're doing some small-scale Alien vs. Predator dioramas.
And they've also got the best Elvis figure made so far.
Can't wait to see what they do with The Simpsons, though.
Posted by LYT at 10:59 AM | Comments (2)
January 20, 2005
As much as I dislike Ms. Rice...
...I have to say this week's Robbie Conal caricature in LA Weekly strikes me as tasteless and offensive. Think they'd dare caricature Maxine Waters the same way?
Discuss.
Posted by LYT at 1:11 PM | Comments (4)
The dream?
Is it appropriate that the week of MLK day, the first black woman is sworn in as Secretary of State?
I think it is. Unfortunately, Condi strikes me as both insufferably corrupt and incompetent (you go, Barbara Boxer!), but still, it's good for society that we're at a point where a black woman can be as awful as any white guy and still get the job. I've always said the one good thing about Bush is that he does believe in diversity (not ideological diversity, mind you, though some of his followers certainly believe they have that market cornered).
Today's re-inauguration day. As a protest, we aren't supposed to spend money. Unfortunately, that won't really be possible for me. I'm going to a screening, and must either pay for parking or pay for public transportation. But I'll wear an anti-Bush shirt.
Posted by LYT at 1:14 AM | Comments (0)
LYTrules.com's Person of the Year 2004
The polls have closed, and by a margin of exactly ONE vote, we have a victor. I have not overruled the people's choice.
So now, starring in his very first online pictorial, please welcome the winnah...
OFFPAT!
He's a man who loves his pussy:
A man about the house:
A master chef:
A man who knows how to order
and a man who can entertain my siblings with his "drunk as fuck" facial expression
How can a man like this still be single, you ask? Well, uh, he isn't. Happily married with kids.
But fantasizing is perfectly legal...
Posted by LYT at 12:36 AM | Comments (5)
January 19, 2005
Review Update
Quick take on Elektra
Posted by LYT at 11:56 AM | Comments (0)
Last Chance...
One more day to vote for LYTrules.com Person of the Year
Posted by LYT at 2:10 AM | Comments (0)
January 18, 2005
New Merchandise
I've been hard on Cafepress in the past because all their T-shirts are white, and I won't do white LYT-shirts, not for grown-ups anyway.
But there's other stuff. So I thought I might give it a try.
CHECK OUT THE CAFEPRESS STORE FOR NEW LYT MERCHANDISE!
Note: This stuff is at absolute rock-bottom prices. Cafepress sets a baseline price, and then those who subscribe add to it whatever profit they want to make. I added no profit whatsoever, because I just want you to own my stuff. Therefore I make no money from any of these products, but they're cheap as hell.
Let me know what you think, or if you want to help me create new images for their products.
Posted by LYT at 8:40 PM | Comments (4)
Heeh heeh heeh!
Proof that Robby the Redneck is apparently in charge of the military.
Posted by LYT at 5:37 PM | Comments (0)
Still looking for sports video-gamers...
extreme sports, hunting, fishing, pro-wrestling, etc. all count.
Come on! Anyone?
Posted by LYT at 2:17 PM | Comments (3)
January 17, 2005
THE WOODS has an MPAA rating
It's been "Rated R for horror violence and language, including sexual references."
Now, just a warning to hardcore horror fans -- it isn't a "hard R." The violence in it isn't hugely bloody, in fact there's less blood than in MAY. I was fairly sure it would be a PG-13, but I think what pushed it over the edge is some of the frank teenage dialogue.
Also, despite the girl's school setting, there is no nudity. Just wanna make sure you don't expect any.
Posted by LYT at 1:25 PM | Comments (3)
Action Figure Art - The Yokozuna Series
Yokozuna visits the old 'hood and realizes that things have changed
(there's more)
The Portrait of Dorian Yokozuna
Yokozuna realizes, only too late, that he forgot to change the batteries in the smoke detector
Posted by LYT at 12:57 AM | Comments (1)
January 16, 2005
More linky-love
Been awhile since I updated the links page, but you'll find a few new faves on there.
Alicublog consistently and hilariously skewers all the right-wing blogs, which saves me from having to actually read them;
Press Club pal Nancy Rommelmann left Los Angeles, and is now blogging from Portland;
and Kim Morgan...well, I hope she doesn't take this the wrong way, but her film criticism at times makes me think of a female version of me.
If any of the three folks above would care to return the favor, cool. If not, you should still read them.
Posted by LYT at 9:27 PM | Comments (0)
LYT's ten best list -- annotated edition
With all the outlets I write for, none wanted this, so you guys get it.
10. ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND
Could've been a dull gimmick movie, but by putting the viewer inside Jim Carrey's mind as memories are being erased, Michel Gondry made Charlie Kaufman's script soar.
Plus I'm a sucker for chicks who dye their hair weird colors.
9. THE POLAR EXPRESS IN 3-D IMAX
With "home theaters" getting state-of-the-art, and mall multiplexes looking more and more TV like, the line between cinema and home viewing has been almost irreversibly blurred, until now. IN 3-D IMAX, THE POLAR EXPRESS offered a groundbreaking new spectacle that simply cannot be experienced at home (unless you're Bill Gates and can afford a personal IMAX, perhaps). Viewing it in this format is a revelation, like seeing color film for the first time. Even when the story sags at the end, there's so much to look at that it doesn't matter.
The 2-D version is okay. But I hope the 3-D version becomes a perennial so I can catch it every year.
8. TAMALA 2010: A PUNK CAT IN SPACE
For sheer weirdness and audacity alone, this demented cartoon by Japanese music collective t.o.l. takes the cake. I really hope it becomes available on Region 1 DVD so you'll have the first clue what I'm talking about.
7. TEAM AMERICA: WORLD POLICE
Fuck Yeah! There's so much to love here, unless you're a totally humorless lefty (funny how my right-wing friends weren't bothered by the jokes at their expense, but many of my liberal buds were). There's the puppet sex scene, which more closely resembles real sex as I know it than most over-glossed movie love scenes. There's the soundtrack, which I haven't stopped playing yet. The skewering of clihes that you didn't even realize were cliches until you saw them parodied ("Why can't they ever do this the easy way?"). The out-of-nowhere Star Wars references. The amazingly detailed set design (an Oscar nom for art direction is a must).
And let's not forget, it's a big studio action movie accomplished entirely without the use of CGI (save the opening credits, which doesn't count).
6. DONNIE DARKO: THE DIRECTOR'S CUT
Every nit-pick I had with the original has been fixed. Now I get it.
5. TAE GUK GI: THE BROTHERHOOD OF WAR
A Korean war epic that's one of the best war films ever made (how many times have I said "ever made" in this feature now? God, I'm lame sometimes). Beats Spielberg at his own game, on his own blockbusting terms.
4. MILLION DOLLAR BABY
The latest installment of Clint Eastwood's ongoing cinematic saga about being a man. You either love this sort of thing, or you're a pussy.
3. HERO
Amazing martial arts, incredible set design, flashbacks upon flashbacks that are never confusing, and a tale of honor and manhood. Some found the message too communist, but patriotism isn't exclusively a totalitarian virtue. My favorite Jet Li film of the ones I've seen.
2. HELLBOY
Did everything a comic book movie should, yet remained very much an idiosyncratic Guillermo del Toro movie at the same time. Had the talented Ron Perlman in the lead role. Made the original comic creator a heavily involved consultant so his vision wouldn't be bastardized. It all sounds so easy, but it rarely ever goes this right.
1. NAPOLEON DYNAMITE
Flippin' sweet! No movie entertained me or obsessed me this much in 2004. I feel like I know every character personally, and they're all insanely quotable -- even my six-year-old brother knows the chapstick routine by heart. Those who dismiss the film as crude mockery might prefer the standard sentimentalized nerd movie in which the hero is really good looking and capable, and none of his problems are ever really his fault, but real nerds aren't like that -- they often are obnoxious, passive-aggressive, and everything else that's abrasive about Napoleon. The thing is, it's possible to love them in spite of that, or even because of it. The soundtrack is the year's best, with cheesy synth doodling and perfectly chosen tunes.
As for the aggressively delivered non-profane profanities, the funny thing is that it's not a deliberate goof, but rather due to the fact that writer-director Jared Hess and star Jon Heder are Mormons, and won't swear or take the Lord's name in vain, hence "Gosh!" and "freakin' idiot!"
Chicks dig guys with great skills, and Napoleon's got 'em. Pass the Tots, and watch out for the chickens' talons.
Posted by LYT at 3:51 PM | Comments (12)
VOTE NOW for LYTrules.com Person
VOTE NOW for LYTrules.com Person of the Year 2004!
(poll closes Wednesday night)
Posted by LYT at 12:37 PM | Comments (0)
LYT's Fave Flicks '04, part three
19. TOKYO GODFATHERS
An animated Christmas movie about a bitter bum, a teenage runaway, and a homeless gay transvestite who find a baby and vow to reunite it with the mother. Once again Satoshi Kon (PERFECT BLUE) pushes the boundaries of the kind of story anime films can tell, with this hybrid Christmas miracle/comedy/drama/action romp that can casually introduce miraculous coincidences without ever once sugar-coating the hardships of homelessness.
18. FAHRENHEIT 9-11
It was tighter and less sloppy than BOWLING FOR COLUMBINE, stoked legitimate outrage, and none of the facts stated in it were ever proven false (the best conservative critics could come up with was that it made misleading insinuations). My right-wing friends would have those of us on the left disown Michael Moore, while they refuse to toss David Horowitz and Ann Coulter overboard; sorry, but Moore entertains me, and he also entertains a whole lot of people who aren't rabid socialists, judging by the national reaction to his film. The soundtrack album was a fave as well, with songs like "Rockin in the Free World" and "Shiny Happy People" side by side with "Believe it or not (Greatest American Hero theme)."
17. GOZU
The first Takashi Miike film that I've unabashedly loved. Insane mobsters, lactating walls, aging breast milk, androgynous cow demons, steam pressed tattoo skins, weird country bumpkins, and a thoroughly unforgettable scene of rebirth make this a must-see for fans of insane Asian cinema. Fuckin' awesome.
16. COLLATERAL
The first movie about L.A. at night that really looks like L.A. at night. Some acquaintances have complained that the ending was predictable, but that's true of most action/suspensers, ain't it? Tom Cruise and Jamie Foxx are both actors I used to hate, but they've won me over. Love the way Mark Ruffalo's character was handled, too -- in any other movie he'd have defied death and saved the day in the end.
15. THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST
On DVD you can finally watch Mel's Jesus movie as he intended, with no subtitles, and it adds a new layer of understanding -- the film is directed like a silent movie, and what seems bombastic when you know the words is less so when it plays like pantomime. Some reviewers have copped out and say you can't possibly judge it from a non-religious perspective, but I call bullshit on that. The story of Jesus is a good story whether you believe it really happened or not, and Mel's brutal interpretation is scary, disturbing, excessive, and arguably even a call for peace and love. Mel Gibson may be batshit insane, but this is his best film as director by far, possibly because he refrained from starring in it this time.
14. HAROLD AND KUMAR GO TO WHITE CASTLE
Those tiny burgers deserve their own movie, and they got the best comedy about an allnighter ever made. Playing like a funnier, raunchier DUDE WHERE'S MY CAR, this was another big surprise. Want more proof that it's worth your time? Right-wingers actually started complaining about the movie, saying it was anti-white. I kid you not; I heard from some directly.
13. OVERNIGHT
Speaking as a comedically arrogant would-be icon, I watched this movie and learned the potential pitfalls of such a path. BOONDOCK SAINTS director Troy Duffy initially seems like a blustery but good-hearted guy, but his egotistical banter ultimately proves deadly serious, and this movie chronicles his transformation into paranoid asshole. Should endlessly amuse those who've managed to sidestep similar pitfalls, but I'll also take it to heart as a warning.
12. SPRING, SUMMER, AUTUMN, WINTER...AND SPRING
Gregory Weinkauf was raving about this one over a year ago, and he was absolutely on the money. Korean director Kim Ki-duk took some of the ideas he used to shocking effect in THE ISLE, and put them to use in the service of a more contemplative tale of four time periods in the life of a monk who lives in the middle of a lake. Slow, yes, but never boring and frequently moving.
11. CONTROL ROOM
My favorite political doc of the year -- a look at Arabic news channel Al-Jazeera from the start of the Iraq war through Bush's "Mission Accomplished" speech. More evenhanded than most of the lefty flicks, the film gives equal time to the U.S. perspective, never mocking the military spokesman (though Rumsfeld effectively skewers himself in retrospect) even when it's clear the film-makers don't necessarily agree.
You've seen my top ten already -- but the annotated version is still coming.
Posted by LYT at 1:24 AM | Comments (0)
January 15, 2005
LYT's fave flicks of '04, part 2
Let the numbers begin.
29. OCEAN'S 12
This one was a big surprise, and one I certainly would not have predicted would be on my list. It's predecessor was a remake with no reason to exist, and seemed to be exhibit A in the case for the complete decline of Steven Soderbergh. Defenders of that film tried to say that it was all a goof, not to be taken seriously, but to me it felt just so labored and predictable that I couldn't buy it. OCEAN'S 12, however, was everything the defenders had claimed for OCEAN'S 11. A light-hearted romp where even the throwaways came back around, full of self-reflexive goofs and genuine surprises (so rare in heist movies). Mostly, though, it was more clearly a Soderbergh film than the first, and that's good news for everyone.
28. SUPER SIZE ME.
As a film, it has plenty of problems. Morgan Spurlock's attempts at investigative journalism are nowhere near as much fun as watching him fuck himself up on the Mickey D diet, for instance. But as a wake-up call to America, it was invaluable, putting the hard truth in our face like never before (who knew cheese was actually chemically addictive?). Just one question: How come Michael Moore's able to survive on pretty much the same diet that nearly killed Spurlock?
27. KILL BILL VOLUME 2.
A surprise on a par with OCEAN'S 12, since I hated its predecessor too. Same deal: Part one was forced and heartless, while part two had a genuine story and real characters. Quentin Tarantino films for me follow a variation of the STAR TREK movie rule -- I like the odd-numbered ones but not the even ones. In PULP FICTION, I felt the fractured narrative structure wasn't helpful, but rather showing off for the sake of showing off; with KILL BILL, however, it actually hurts the movie as a whole, giving you little emotional stake in the Bride's Japanese rampage. Part two also benefitted immensely from Michael Madsen, David Carradine, and Daryl Hannah, all more fun and better actors than Vivica Fox and Lucy Liu. As for Master Pai Mei, well, he rules.
26. I HEART HUCKABEES
Recall some of the most inane and annoying philosophical conversations you had in college with stoned people. Now imagine a movie solely designed to ruthlessly and hilariously eviscerate such people without necessarily disagreeing with them. No need to imagine -- that's what David O. Russell did. Some people took this movie waaaay to seriously.
25. THE LIFE AQUATIC
Harder to love than some of Wes Anderson's other movies, it's nonetheless as unique and idiosyncratic an auteur's vision as we got this year. I'm still not entirely sure how I feel about the whole thing, and yet I think it's the closest thing to a new millennium BUCKAROO BANZAI that we'll ever see. The final scene of them marching to the boat cinches the deal.
24. JU-ON: THE GRUDGE (original Japanese version)
Yes, it's quite repetitive, and more story revelations early on might have pushed it way up there on my list. But it still creeped the piss outta me in the theater, and that's worth something.
23. THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT
Maybe it's because I had such low expectations for an Ashton Kutcher thriller, but whatever the case, this is exactly the sort of movie I like to see. It's smart (though inconsistent a time or two), dark, unflinching, suspenseful, and keeps you watching to see what will happen next. It's also proof that Kutcher is, in fact, good enough to eventually transcend the "Dude" jokes in a way that Keanu Reeves has never been able to do.
22. THE INCREDIBLES
Not much to add here, as this is on most peoples' lists. I always wanted to see a superhero movie with a huge-scale city battle, and Brad Bird finally gave me one. The rest of the movie was damned imaginative too.
21. VAN HELSING
What? Van Helsing? LYT, are you insane? Maybe. I concede that it's tough to defend this film on most objective grounds. The Transylvanian accents are ridiculous, Kate Beckinsale is terrible, and the plot makes no sense at all.
And yet I can't stop watching it. It runs on video game logic. Non-stop CG may look fake, but c'mon, it looks pretty cool too. Think of it as the most expensive GODZILLA/monster-battle movie ever made.
20. A VERY LONG ENGAGEMENT
Hey kids, didja like AMELIE? Do you like the war movies? Here's both in one; go crazy.
(19 more to go)
Posted by LYT at 11:02 AM | Comments (1)
January 14, 2005
Predictable, yes, but I love it nonetheless
Todd McFarlane's Little Red Riding Hood "action" figure.
Posted by LYT at 3:44 PM | Comments (2)
Attention Gamers!
If you play sports video games frequently and would be willing to talk about them on the record, please drop me a line.
Posted by LYT at 2:47 PM | Comments (2)
January 13, 2005
LYT's best films of 2004 - part one
As a freelancer this year, I saw less movies than I did as a staffer. As such, this is a less comprehensive list than last year. It's also in no particular order, save maybe the top two or three which really stood above the rest.
I already did a blurb for New Times about the most overrated flicks of the year; I won't repeat that here. I was going to pick SHREK 2 as worst film of the year, but then I remembered WHITE CHICKS, which has to be the undisputed champion.
A film's lack of inclusion on my best-of list doesn't mean I didn't like it. There are plenty of movies I enjoyed but didn't feel were exceptional -- SPIDER-MAN 2, for instance, while fun and good and true to the source (more or less) blends together with its predecessor in my mind.
Then there's SIDEWAYS, every other critic's favorite. I've long been a fan of Thomas Haden Church, notably in TALES FROM THE CRYPT: DEMON KNIGHT and THE SPECIALS (rent the DVD -- it has a quote from me on the cover). It's great to see him finally get his due, even as Paul Giamatti sucks up all the attention by doing the exact same thing he did in AMERICAN SPLENDOR. I like Alexander Payne a lot too, and the movie's fun, but the year's best?
I suspect that the fact that it's about an insecure middle-aged writer, and most critics are middle-aged insecure writers, is what gets it such glowing reviews. Nothing wrong with that -- we all need movies to relate to. This one just isn't mine. And frankly, that scene in which Giamatti and Virginia Madsen talk about wine and you suddenly figure out -- dum dum dum! -- that they're actually describing themselves, is way too fucking on the nose. People don't talk like that except in movies. Critics who cite that as an example of good writing are blinded by their benevolence.
I liked GARDEN STATE more at first than I did later -- contrast my review on this blog to what I said about it being overrated in New Times. Initially it struck me as original, but the more I thought about it the more pissed off I was about the whole Natalie Portman thing. Her acting was fine, but she looked too good, and was way too perfect for the lead character to be able to win her over, or to be anything less than totally dysfunctional in a relationship with her once he has won her. Plus the notion that fucking a hot chick cures everything. I look at that the same way I look at sex addicts -- jeez, that's kind of a luxury, don't you think? Every male I know is basically a sex addict, but they just can't manage to get any when they need to. Boo hoo.
Oh, and MARIA FULL OF SHIT, er, I mean GRACE, is possibly the biggest fraud pulled over critics eyes that I can think of. Proof that PC ideas can sometimes matter more than plot, character, believability and so on. If you're that easily impressed by scenes of a hot young girl forced to swallow painfully large objects, go rent a porno.
There are 29 films on my best-of list. Why 29? Because I try not to set arbitrary numbers, and just pick however many are good.
And just to taunt you, the list doesn't begin here. Maybe next post. And I virtually guarantee at least one movie you hate will be on it. But not GARFIELD.
Posted by LYT at 11:54 PM | Comments (3)
Later, Vader
Check out THIS EXCLUSIVE FIRST LOOK at the new Sith Lord from Star Wars Episode III (or more precisely, his action figure)
Posted by LYT at 10:31 PM | Comments (0)
Celebrity wrestling fan you might not expect
So I'm waiting in line outside the Nuart theater to see a Wong Kar-Wai movie. I'm wearing a rather unusual WWE T-shirt, a parody of a cereal ad featuring a certain "Deadman" dressed up as a white-wigged "UnderQuaker."
The guy in line in front of me is nudging his date, looking at the shirt. I open my jacket so they can see the whole thing. He's impressed, says he's never seen that shirt before, but "We just saw him last week."
"You met the Undertaker?" I ask
"Well, we went to Smackdown in New York" he says.
"You going to WrestleMania this year?" I ask
"We went last year" he replies. "I know it's here this year. We'll have to see."
His date asks if tickets are on sale. He tells her they sold out. He had hoped they'd be cheaper. However, he thinks he'll be able to score some through teh William Morris agency.
Who was this man?
Wouldn't it be great to have him be a special guest ring announcer or something?
Posted by LYT at 10:20 PM | Comments (0)
Action figure art
I enjoyed doing the last one so much, I'm gonna keep it up.
HELLBOY VS. KROENEN
Posted by LYT at 11:06 AM | Comments (3)
Update on THE WOODS
With Jaye being very busy these days, and MGM mostly silent on the matter, I figured I might as well update you on what I know of the film's status.
The film is pretty much done. Visual FX are complete, sound mix is either done or almost done. No, I haven't seen the final version.
I had previously mentioned a release date of March -- this isn't likely to happen. Official word is September 2, but given that the flick is already completed, it could get bumped up and come out sooner.
The first poster for THE WOODS is almost ready to go, from what I understand. I wouldn't be surprised to see a trailer within the next month or so.
And don't forget I'm sitting on a shitload of spoileriffic set photos that I can't show you until release day. I promise you'll dig 'em.
Posted by LYT at 10:51 AM | Comments (0)
What is MAD COWGIRL?
Some of you may have noticed that I have a new IMDB acting credit, and wonder what the hell it is. No, it's not some new Troma flick. Looking closely at the credits, you may see familiar names.
This is because MAD COWGIRL is just the latest in a series of titles for Gregory Hatanaka's current project, previously known as UNTITLED, NO REGRETS, AMBUSHES FROM 10 SIDES, TOTAL RAIN, etc.
This should be the final title, since it's on IMDB and crew shirts have been printed (pic when I get mine).
In other news, I can formally announce that in addition to Walter Koenig, the cast will include James Duval, best known as "Frank the Bunny" in DONNIE DARKO, but perhaps more familiar to readers of this site as the spiky-haired punker "Blank" in MAY.
Some cast connections: Duval previously appeared with Sarah Lassez in Greg Araki's NOWHERE, and Koenig previously appeared with Douglas Dunning in STAR TREK VI (DD played a Klingon).
Posted by LYT at 10:36 AM | Comments (0)
January 12, 2005
Forbidden Words/Phrases 2005 -- blog edition
(All apologies to Matt Groening, who does this every year in "Life in Hell." But we need a blog version, so here you go
meme
catblogging
Rathergate, Memogate, or any other kind of gate that doesn't involve impeaching a president
Freeping
Fisking
Idiotarian
Anti-Idiotarian
Islamofascist
MSM
SCLM
Commander-in-thief
WMDs
POTUS
Instalanche
Insta-anything
Heh
Indeed
"-- Ed"
warblog
Old Europe
oil-for-food
free elections
WOT
worldview
liberal bias
libertarian
French-looking
"I disagree with Bush on social issues, BUT..."
bloviator
blowhard
propagandist
"according to Drudge"
hooters
Ralph Nader
[add your own in the comments]
Posted by LYT at 8:42 PM | Comments (3)