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July 31, 2005
Reader letter of the week
All quotes 100% true. This comes in response to my review of "Must Love Dogs":
"hello this is mr cole i will like to order for some puppy and i will like to know the prices and i will like to inform you that the money of the puppy will be transfer into ur account if you are ready ok bye and stay bless"
Posted by LYT at 2:16 PM | Comments (3)
July 30, 2005
Hobbies Hoarse
What are your hobbies?
That's a question that gets asked a lot in the dating world, online or otherwise. And I don't have a good answer.
Objectively speaking, or at least attempting to do so, my major hobbies that come to mind are toy collecting and being a wrestling fan. These are also the two things I least want women to focus on when I meet them, for I know that unless I happen to have encountered the most perfect woman for me on the face of the planet, odds are she's into neither of those two thing, and quite likely has several negative caricatures in mind of those who are.
So beyond that...what? What do I do in my spare time? I like to act and make movies and help other people make their movies. But is that a hobby, or a vocation? Same with going to the movies -- theoretically a hobby, but I almost never do it on my own timetable in a non-work-related setting.
So what else? I like to drink alcohol. I sometimes play videogames, but not often and they have to be easy ones. I compulsively surf the net.
I think I have to date someone in the entertainment industry who lives and breathes movie culture like I do. Otherwise, I'm not sure what I can offer in the way of common interests.
Those of you who know me personally -- are there hobbies I have that I'm forgetting? If you were writing a personal ad for me, what would you say my hobbies were?
I'm not fishing for compliments here. I'm just wondering what my interests actually are, from an observer's perspective.
Posted by LYT at 4:49 PM | Comments (20)
Listen to some Matt King music
Click HERE
If it tells you you have to log in, just hit "Refresh" or "Reload" on your browser.
Matt claims he's gonna finally get a CD out this year -- I for one cannot wait.
Posted by LYT at 3:36 AM | Comments (7)
July 29, 2005
Uniters, not dividers
My right-wing friend Pete Peterson offers the following:
"By far the biggest success in this war has been the defeat of John F. (wrong war, wrong place, wrong time) Kerry as the standard bearer of the apologists."
Hmm. Not the overthrow of the Taliban. Not the capture of Saddam Hussein.
No, the biggest success on our war against Al Qaeda and/or Iraq is that a Democrat lost the last presidential election. Well shoot, maybe we should have wars more often.
Discuss.
Posted by LYT at 2:30 AM | Comments (25)
July 28, 2005
Reviews
"Must Love Dogs certainly isn't all that unique. You know more or less how it's gonna go, with man and woman meeting each other, hitting it off, screwing it up, misunderstanding something, being sad, and finally one of them running to try to catch the other in order to loudly say "I love you." But the movie does find fresh ways to tweak the formula, making it more than the sum of its broad strokes."
Read the rest
"But this isn't about the Commander; it's the story of his son, Will Stronghold (Lords of Dogtown's Michael Angarano). Will's mother is also known as the superheroine Jetstream (Kelly Preston), and he is too embarrassed to admit to either parent that he seems to have no powers at all. Unable to manifest any mutant abilities on his first day at the eponymous high school for heroics, he is labeled as a sidekick, or, to use the politically correct term uttered by the more insecure in the group, "hero support." The only other child born of superheroes to never manifest powers is the schoolbus driver, who goes by the moniker, natch, of "Ron Wilson: Bus Driver." And since he is played by Kevin Heffernan, of the excruciatingly unfunny comedy troupe Broken Lizard, you can see why Will might be troubled by the notion of meeting a similar fate. Of course, the other option for would-be heroes with no powers is to go study fear and the ninja arts with Liam Neeson in the Himalayas, but that's another movie."
Read the whole thing
Posted by LYT at 1:08 AM | Comments (8)
July 27, 2005
If you're not reading the Message Board...
Then you missed this article which is worthy of your time.
Posted by LYT at 4:53 PM | Comments (0)
July 25, 2005
New Trailer Trash
Posted by LYT at 5:53 PM | Comments (1)
No, today is not April 1
Variety is reporting that the dialogue in Mel Gibson's next movie, APOCALYPTO, will be entirely in ancient Mayan.
Jesus isn't in the movie, but it is set 3,000 years ago and has R-rated levels of violence, apparently.
So what, did Mel really think it was the subtitles that made PASSION a hit?
Posted by LYT at 11:33 AM | Comments (4)
Adrift
I see that THE ISLAND didn't do so well at the box office this weekend. Michael Bay's name in and of itself doesn't seem to be a draw. The BAD BOYS movies were hits because Will Smith and Martin Lawrence are draws (Lawrence can even sell horrible, horrible movies like BIG MOMMA'S HOUSE). ARMAGEDDON and PEARL HARBOUR had easily sellable concepts, with star power being a secondary but subsidiary boost (Bruce Willis for the former, Ben Affleck for the latter). THE ROCK was sold as a Nic Cage/Sean Connery buddy flick.
But Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson have never opened a movie solely based on their star power. The lack of an easily definable villain in the trailers might have hurt too.
I'm thinking, though, that the big misstep here was to go PG-13. It's conventional wisdom with right-wingers that PG-13 makes more money, but that's only if you have a movie kids want to see. The first 45 minutes or so of THE ISLAND have no action in them, and deal with more conceptual sci-fi. Impatient kids might not deal.
Now, if Bay had allowed Scarlett to flash her hooters like she was totally willing to do, thereby earning an R-rating and thereby also allowing more blood in the action sequences, I bet the film would have done better. Joel Silver understood as much when he paid Halle Berry to show tit in SWORDFISH. I, like many others, bought the DVD. I will not buy THE ISLAND.
Posted by LYT at 12:23 AM | Comments (1)
July 24, 2005
Never a Dahl moment
Just a random subject, really, but with the new Charlie and the Chocolate Factory movie out, I've been hearing people talk a lot about Roald Dahl, and why kids like him.
Recently, at Comicon, I walked in on the tail end of a panel by fantasy author Robert Jordan. I haven't read his books, though they come strongly recommended. But I was very impressed with one thing he said. Asked if the last book in his series would wrap up all the loose ends, he said that the main story arc would be wrapped up, but not everything, because he hates how so many fantasy trilogies conclude with everyone's problems solved, and all being right with the world, in a perfectly preserved bell-jar kind of a way. He wants to leave the readers with the notion of a world in which life goes on, where things could still be happening even though he won't be the one writing about any of those things.
This is one of the things I think Dahl gets right also.
As a child, the sort of thing Jordan is talking about always did bother me. So many books for children involve a child discovering a secret magical friend, or secret magical world. They have fun adventures, and then, at the end of the book, the magic friend has to go away forever, or the magic world is no longer accessible. Books like this include such disparate entries as The Phantom Tollbooth, Where the Wild Things Are, and The Indian in the Cupboard. On film, E.T. does the same thing. Presumably this theme is so common because adult writers are creating an allegory of their own growing up process.
But kids get pissed off by that, just like they get pissed off when Bambi's mother dies. Why do children's books have to teach horrible life lessons about losing innocence -- can't they just be fun?
I'm not going to answer that question, but it does strike me that maybe the reason Dahl is loved by kids and not so much by parents is that he doesn't force the magic to go away at the end. Charlie gets to hang out with Willy Wonka and the Oompa-Loompas for the rest of his life. James makes a fancy house out of the giant peach pit, and lives there still with the giant talking insects.
And while we're on the subject, in the original L. Frank Baum books, Dorothy doesn't just wake up from a dream when she leaves the Land of Oz. A few books later, she gets to live there. Baum ultimately wraps things up a bit too tidily, but has nothing on his self-appointed successor Ruth Plumly Thomson, who essentially reimagined almost every single quirky character as a cursed prince or princess.
Since faithful fantasy adaptations are back in vogue, would anyone care to tackle The Wizard of Oz again and make it truer to the book, without songs? Baum doesn't have a widow to crack the whip like Dahl does, but there are lots of sequels right there for the making.
Posted by LYT at 11:25 PM | Comments (1)
Party Pictures
Many thanks to everyone who came and made it happen.
In this shot, Greg Hatanaka, All Cheerleaders Die costars Julia Carpenter & Matt Shebesta, Dawn Cooper and Matt King watch Matt's short film "Gayman" starring me. (Go to the "films" page of this very site if you'd like to watch it for yourself)
and in this one, Mike Stephan appears to be the only one who notices that the room is now tilted at a sideways angle.
Finally, Matt the King puts on another mighty performance with tunes like "I am a Hooker," "Sensation," and "Theme from Gayman."
Matt was followed up on guitar by James Avallone, whose catchy number about a hitman was also a crowd favorite.
I had a mighty hangover this morning at 9 -- took sleeping pills and then a bath, and slept for another 6 hours or so. What did me in, I think, was switching from beer. I did that because we actually ran out of beer, so then when more came and no-one had touched the harder stuff, I decided to let my guests take the beer while I mixed an apple martini. That fucked me up; I wasn't even really drunk before.
Most of the Mad Cowgirl crew were in the house; of my journalist friends, only GW, Pat S., and Steve A. came. But it was especially good to have a couple of guests I hadn't seen in ages: actress Julia Carpenter, and former USC classmate Beth Sweeney, whom I hadn't seen in 10 years.
No bad or disturbing behavior took place this year, thankfully; no hooters were flashed either. But i think we had the most fun one can have without hooters.
I also got rid of a lot of free junk. Thanks to all the people who took it.
Posted by LYT at 7:45 PM | Comments (2)
July 23, 2005
Older now...
I'm watching Napoleon Dynamite on DVD, and just as I posted this, the scene in which Alphaville's "Forever Young" is played came on.
Napoleon gets more lovin' than LYT...
Posted by LYT at 12:21 AM | Comments (3)
July 22, 2005
Reminder - my party's tomorrow
I'm hoping more people will show up than just the confrimed folks at evite.
Anyway, much prep to do. So I'm turning this accursed distraction off for the day.
Posted by LYT at 11:56 AM | Comments (5)
July 21, 2005
Lord of the Ring
It is with sadness that I read today of the passing of Lord Alfred Hayes, wrestling announcer extraordinaire.
[UPDATE: WWE.com has posted their obituary HERE]
The longtime fans will undoubtedly say it does Hayes a disservice to remember him primarily as the comically English announcer on '80s WWF programming, rather than in his prime. But as a child of the '80s, that is what I recall, and it was no small thing.
At the end of almost every WWF TV show, Hayes would be the one to say "Promotional consideration paid for by the following," and then proceed to read a bunch of commercials out loud. Wait, did I say read? Generally he would yell them bombastically, or even get suggestive. My favorite of all time was "SUGAR DADDY...some things NEVER change...Sugar Daddy has the flavor (dramatic pause) that lasts (longer dramatic pause) a LIFETIME."
When I started making comedy tapes with my cousin Robert, Lord Alfred Hayes was the very first fake interview we did. Naturally, every tape would also end with me as Alfred doing "promotional consideration paid for by the following."
In one of Alfred's standout comedic moments, he got made over as a third member of the Rockers by Shawn Michaels and Marty Jannetty. Michaels and Jannetty had insisted that, with the right attitude, anyone could be a Rocker, so Bobby Heenan challenged them to make Alfred one. At the end of the show, this buffoonish Brit came out decked in neon spandex, and the three "Rockers" showed their teamwork by saying...
Michaels: "Rockin' and Rollin'..."
Jannetty: "Struttin' and Strollin'..."
Hayes: "SLAMMIN' AND JAMMIN'!!!!"
Alfred's in-ring career was before my time. But his role as comedic foil was no small thing.
Posted by LYT at 11:41 AM | Comments (4)
"I'm-an-actor-they-don't-tell-me-shit"
Bruce Campbell still thinks THE WOODS is coming out this fall.
Posted by LYT at 11:08 AM | Comments (0)
A whole mess of reviews
Think Sid Haig's girlfriend will forgive me?
"With the semi-sequel The Devil's Rejects, Zombie has indeed delivered the hard-ass '70s exploitation-style grindhouse flick that he promised the last film would be. This is Zombie's Kill Bill, but the story transcends the references, and there is no irony to distance the viewer from the carnage. Lots of people are going to find it utterly abhorrent. Crazy drunken rednecks, however, will wear out their DVD copies. "
Read the rest.
I hope Craig Brewer's girlfriend doesn't read this next one:
"So yeah, that movie you've been seeing all the ads for that make Hustle & Flow look like the latest installment of Grand Theft Auto ... spends most of its 114 minutes focusing on the making of a demo tape. People in a studio, rapping and recording. If you're going to watch that, wouldn't you rather it actually be Dre, or Lil Jon, or whomever, rather than actors pretending to be their kind? Yes, Ludacris and Isaac Hayes are in it, but not much, and they don't perform. "
There's more
And to make the circle complete, here's a positive review for a guy I normally hate:
"Crónicas' biggest claim to fame ought to be that it was Ecuador's submission for the Best Foreign Language Film Oscar, but what most people tend to notice is that it stars John Leguizamo. Mixed messages ensue: "Oscar submission" makes one think of quality, while John Leguizamo's name inspires visions of horror -- House of Buggin', The Pest, Executive Decision, To Wong Foo .... The man's "comedic" side seems inspired by the manic styles of Jim Carrey and Robin Williams, only twice as loud and a thousand times less funny. What people forget is that he began his career on the stage."
read the whole thing, yo.
Posted by LYT at 12:03 AM | Comments (2)
July 20, 2005
Lucky McKee news...
Lucky has just inked a deal to direct one of the inaugural episodes of Showtime's "Masters of Horror" series, to be lensed in Vancouver shortly for an air-date later this year, and a guaranteed Anchor Bay DVD release afterwards.
He describes the episode's premise as "Sort of a romantic comedy version of The Fly."
No formal casting announcements yet, but stay tuned -- I've heard rumors that should make fans pretty happy.
Posted by LYT at 12:57 PM | Comments (0)
You can't change the laws of physics
James Doohan, dead at 85.
For the record, even though Paramount copyrighted the line, "Beam me up, Scotty" was never uttered on the show. It was always "Scotty, beam me up" or "Scotty, get us out of here."
Posted by LYT at 9:48 AM | Comments (1)
More nutty fun with CAPalert's Rev. Thomas Carder
The insane film-watchin' Reverend has always docked movies points in the "Impudence" field for any character appearing with tattoos. Finally, he justifies this.
"Lev. 19:28 Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the LORD. [This verse is speaking to the practices of the pagans which made tattoos sinful. Other Levitican verses speak to not even cutting the hair on the sides of your head or wearing dissimilar fabrics. I am not wise enough to argue His Word but I suspect that if we put tattoos on our bodies, cut the hair on the sides of our heads or wear dissimilar fabrics for the same reasons the pagans did (to express sexual matters, hate, evil, arrogance, defiance, etc.), then we, too, would sin. I rather doubt that a tattoo that says "Mom" or something similarly innocuous would be sinful but I am not the Final Word. God is. Ask Him about tattoos. I am as much a sinner as everyone else. He will give you a much better answer than I ever could.]"
Hmm. "I am not wise enough to argue His Word"?
Then what the hell is the purpose of your entire website, Reverend?
Posted by LYT at 12:42 AM | Comments (4)
July 19, 2005
Supreme Court justice nominee announced
I should have nailed Brian down to a cash bet -- turns out it's a guy who has always opposed the end ruling in Roe v. Wade.
In other words, not a moderate. I was wrong about him not being a white dude, though.
Posted by LYT at 6:27 PM | Comments (13)
July 18, 2005
My birthday wishlist - UPDATED
My Amazon wishlist is now up-to-date, but most items on it are not in stock, and some of the stuff mentioned below is stuff I want more anyhow.
[NOTE: The main item I asked for has now been purchased, and is en route via mail. Many, many thanks to the buyers, who know who they are.]
Other wants:
McFarlane Twisted Fairy Tales figures: Hansel, Gretel, Humpty Dumpty
NECA Cult Classics figures: The Crow, Jason, Mohawk Gremlin (also at Suncoast)
Masters of the Universe: Hordak, Snout Spout, Clawful (yep, Suncoast again)
Street Fighter: Balrog figure (a boxer; not to be confused with Lord of the Rings demon)
McFarlane Alien vs. Predator mini-playsets (if they're out yet)
The new Gorillaz CD
someone who'll make out with me (I can dream, right?)
[note: Ben Boyer does not count as fulfillment of that last request. Nor does Homo Hobo.]
Posted by LYT at 11:36 PM | Comments (4)
SDCC 2005: Quickpost
I just remembered another detail from the Superman panel that was funny.
One guy came up to the mic to ask Bryan Singer a question (bear in mind Singer is gay). He starts off "There are only two men I've ever been in love with in my life..."
half the audience laughs.
"One is Superman. The other one is my dad, who I always looked up to. Now, my question is this...Why didn't you cast my dad?"
He sounded dead serious. But Bryan had a good answer.
"Your dad wasn't tall enough."
Then he clarified, saying he always wanted an unknown, and that he didn't know how famous this guy's dad was. Celebrities, he felt, had too much baggage, and a fresh face was needed to embody an icon.
Still -- speaks to the weirdness of some comic nerds, eh?
Posted by LYT at 6:55 PM | Comments (1)
SDCC 2005: Doom
First let me note that I should get the Best Weblog award next year based on sheer quantity in a given day.
But beside all that...Doom is a forthcoming movie based on the insanely addictive videogame series of the same name. I have nevcer been as hooked on a game as I was on the first Doom. I got Lucky McKee hooked on Doom, after a few fits and starts in which he assured me that if it were a VR game with real guns, he'd be much better.
For those who haven't played Doom (and I assume those are people who haven't played any game in the last 10 years or so -- not having played Doom is like not having played Pac-man or Space Invaders), it was a game that defined a genre known as first-person shooter, wherein your perspective is through the eyes of a character wielding a weapon. In Doom, you are on the moons of Mars, running around hi-tech dungeons shooting demons that have somehow escaped from Hell. Towards the later stages, you go to Hell and fight them there amid ruined cities.
Early word had this movie being just as unfaithful as other games; it was not going to be on Mars, nor would it involve demons. Well, I can 100% confirm that it DOES take place on Mars. It seems as though the monsters are scientific experiments-gone-bad rather than demons, but they certainly look demonic.
Doom the Movie stars LOTR's Eomer, Karl Urban, as the Hero, with The Rock as the Burly Sergeant. Both were in the house. The Rock, after assuring us that he had been warned by his publicist not to be campy, proceeded to turn everything into a dick joke, especially any query about "weapons" or "guns." Naturally, he was the focus of teh panel; I wish I had transcribed some of his remarks. After one particularly incoherent question he said "The weed's real good here in San Diego, isn't it?" and made smnoking motions.
Somebody asked if the movie was goign to be more dramatic or more action-packed. The Rock said it would be a little of both. Urban jokingly said "But at its core, it's really a love story."
"Between you and the Rock?" asked a fan.
Not missing a beat, Urban put his arm around his costar. Similarly quick on the uptake, Rock responded "He knows why they call me The Rock."
The trailer for the movie isn't great -- has too much voice-over -- but it does reveal one of those eyeball monsters like the one in Big Trouble in Little China. But we got to see another clip that rules.
In the con exclusive clip, we go for an extreme closeup on Karl Urban as he passes out. Zoom in on his eye. Then he wakes up and we see the world from his perspective, which is to say the perspective of someone playing a first-person shooter. The camera is his eyes. He loads his weapon up in the center of the screen just like in the game. Walks around a lab that looks directly translated from the game environment. Shoots zombies. Shoots a monster, then shoots a barrel behind it that ignites and sets the monster on fire. Walks upstairs in a smooth steadicam shot. Doors open in front of him automatically. This is the most literal live-action recreation of any videogame EVER. Period. It is only one sequence in the movie, though.
The movie will be R-rated, which I think makes it the Rock's first R movie. The Rock is a gamer, so he cares about fealty to the source, and didn't want to do it if it would be toned down.
Stan Winston Studios created the creatures, which for the most part are NOT CGI. They look to be more like the creatures in later incarnations of the game; no indication of devils with missile-firing arms so far.
Now, my friend Brian, when he heard this, said that Stan Winston's name means nothing to him, because he knows of occasions where Stan Winston has taken credit for stuff he doesn't deserve. Whether that's true or not, it tells me that Winston's name is attached to good stuff, whether or not he's actually the one who created it.
The most impressive videogame movie thus far has been the first Resident Evil (also R-rated) -- we'll see if Doom can beat it. But what I saw is immensely promising.
Posted by LYT at 6:23 PM | Comments (2)
SDCC 2005: Aeon Flux
What a difference a decade makes.
I remember an L.A. comic convention, during my USC days, where the guest of honor was Peter Chung, creator of the then-super hot MTV cartoon Aeon Flux, a bizarre series of sci-fi shorts involving a near-nude, impossibly thin female assassin who periodically died, only to return the following week with no explanation. Sometimes she seemed heroic, but Chung said he saw her as the villain. Characters spoke in a made-up, unsubtitled language, and the afterlife for Aeon when she died the first time was depicted as a floating chair on a lake where a water-creature with a textured tongue licked her bare feet into in ecstatic state.
Chung was asked at that convention whether there woulod be an Aeon Flux live-action movie. He replied that he didn't want to see one, because the possibilities of animation had not been fully explored. He implied that a live-action film might somehow make the animation seem inferior in the public's mind, and that that needed to be changed.
No doubt he needs some money now. So here he was giving his blessing to the new live-action movie.
Now, the upside to a film adaptation is that Aeon Flux has no "canon." The shorts ran for two years, and the half-hour series for one, and even within that timeframe the continuity was constantly being rewritten. So no-one can nitpick this the way I did Batman, because nothing is constant in the Flux universe -- it's in flux.
Incidentally, the tagline for the new movie is "The future is Flux." I suspect it doesn't say "in flux" because, given that the film stars Charlize Theron, the only thing "in flux" resides between Stuart Townsend's legs.
Early looks at the film had not been promising. Unlike the visually rich style of the toons, the film looks to be going for minimalism in the GATTACA vein. I liked Gattaca, but it was not an action movie.
The main costume Charlize wears doesn't look great, either. I've seen fan-made costumes at the convention that were better. Fortunately, there are several costume changes in the movie, and the one in the tie-in videogame is closer to the cartoon, though not as revealing.
Marton Csokas plays Aeon's love/hate interest Trevor Goodchild, and they didn't even bother to die his hair blond, which pisses me off. David Bowie would have been a better casting choice, save perhaps for the age difference with Charlize. Sophie Okenedo plays Aeon's closest ally.
Now, here's what's good:
-Aeon catching a fly with her eyelashes, just like in the cartoon.
-Charlize has the physicality DOWN. I mean, if it wqeren't for teh fact that they showed us a bahind-the-scenes featurette in which it's clear that Charlize is really doing the stuff, I'd expect to hear people going "Man, those CGI stunts look so cartoony and fake." They are neither. A sequence in which Aeon and Sophie's character are trying to escape across a garden was shown. The garden looks peaceful, but the blades of grass stiffen into sharp spikes if anything lands on them. Sophie does, and her feet get cut; Aeon does a very precarious split to avoid it. In other scenes, Aeon crawls around on all fours using a very wide stance, looking like an insect.
-the cartoon gag of passing secret info via tongue kissing and mouth-borne capsules is inatct.
-the odd gadgets are here, notably a bunch of ball bearings that respond to whistling, then cluster and explode as needed.
Charlize herself seemed very ill-at-ease on the panel. I had to say that, given the way everyone came off, I would much rather bang director Karyn Kusama than Charlize. Karyn may be a little heavier, but she seems more human. Charlize is like a perfect-looking alien that understands little of this puny planet.
Still, I got the poster with Charlize on it and it looks great. I'm sure she'll be okay in the movie, as she usually is. The movie itself I still worry about, but at the very least we should get a definitive collection of the cartoons on DVD as a tie-in.
Posted by LYT at 5:03 PM | Comments (2)
SDCC 2005: Kong and Tenacious D.
First, some general things:
- I am not yet back in Hollywood - still in San Diego. So that's why I'm not returning your phone messages, if you left any.
- I heard and read several stories this year about people who tried to drive down to San Diego on Saturday, and it took them 6 hours. LEARN FROM THIS. If you do not ARRIVE in San Diego before the convention opens each day, you are screwed. To get your money's worth, come the night before. And pre-register - I should have.
Anyway, some King Kong stuff was shown at the con, introduced by Peter Jackson via videotape. It was an unfinished sequence, with animatics, bluescreen, and incomplete effects in many shots, but it still looked cool as hell. This may not be a timeless classic, but as a monster-fight movie, I'm beginning to warm to it.
One of the ways Jackson seems to be trying to somewhat mitigate the inevitable unhappy finale is to portray Kong as an aging warrior, past his prime, given one last reason to keep fighting. He has gray patches in his fur, and numerous big scars.
Anyway, the scene is Kong fighting two T-rexes while trying to hang onto Naomi Watts with hands and feet (Jackson takes advantage of the fact that apes use both interchangeably sometimes). The rexes keep biting Kng hard and making him drop Naomi, but she is usually caught before she can fall from a potentially deadly height.
Anyway, the big critters battle to the edge of a cliff, and then fall off, but between this cliff and the next is a lattice of thick vines. One of the dinos gets caught in it, and Naomi grabs onto one to break her fall, while Kong and the other dino are battling back and forth, generally tearing things apart. Naomi's vine starts swinging from teh momentum, and each swing brings her almost near enough to the tied-up rex to be eaten. Eventually, she is near enough, and finds her way onto the rex's head.
Kong falls with the other dino and kills it, and eventually all of the others land safely. Naomi is caught between Kong and the dino, and realizes her best hope is with Kong. Kong then uses his old-school movies, augmented with a new one -- he rips the rex's tongue out with his teeth. Then, like in 1933, he pulls its jaws apart until they break, then plays puppeteer with its limp, dead head for a couple of seconds.
When the clip ended, Naomi Watts, Adrien Brody, and Jack Black all walked out onstage, to much applause. However, most every question from the audience was something like "Jack, you fuckin' rock! When's the D movie comin' out? Is KG in this movie?" One questioiner actually got Adrien Brody's name totally wrong, which made Adrien fake like he was walking out. But then some other guy went "Dude, that totally rocked when you kissed Halle Berry at the Oscars! I wouldn't have had the balls to do that!"
Yeah, it was that kind of crowd. And Black seemed stoned -- someone asked him what the difference was in difficulty between serious roles and comedic, and he said something like "Well, it's all acting. You're, uh, pretending stuff is happening that isn't happening."
So when that was over, Kevin Smith came out to introduce Tenacious D.
"There are only 9 guys in the world whose dicks I would suck. It used to be 10, but I just topped Affleck off. These guys are numbers 5 and 6."
Naturally, the first thing Kyle Gass did onstage was drop his pants in front of Kevin. No blowing ensued.
Last time I saw Tenacious D. was many years ago, when Black was still "that guy from THE CABLE GUY." And Kyle Gass was the silent guy who stood back and played music. Now Kyle has becomes just as much of a ham and a comedian as Black. But they still do a cover of the Flash Gordon theme. I wondered if they had encountered Sam J. Jones during the con at all. Having him appear onstage for it would have been awesome.
Most of the songs were new ones from the upcoming Tenacious D movie, including one played after they have a spat, entitled "Dude, I totally miss you" and another one called "The government totally sucks." They intro'ed one by saying that all the music was played live during the shooting of the movie, then proceeded to do a glaringly obvious lip-synch, with electric guitar sounds coming from their acoustics, and Black hitting improbably high notes.
The final encore was a cover of The Who's "Pinball Wizard."
If you didn't get into the hall, here's a tip for next time - if a panel is going to be super-popular, go in during a previous panel. Or in this case, since Kong was the previous panel, two panels before. That's what I did, catching the tail-end of the Sony panel, where they revealed the teaser poster for Ghost Rider (he looks like Ghost Rider - no nasty surprises there). Also, as a surprise, Jamie Foxx, Jessica Biel, and Josh Lucas showed up to promote STEALTH. Lucas revealed that he prepped for the role by undergoing flight survival school, wherein you have to escape from an upside-down helicopter blindfolded, and also it's underwater. His costars admitted they hadn't done anything like that.
Posted by LYT at 3:30 PM | Comments (2)
SDCC 2005: Superman Returns
The new Superman is looking good.
To clear up a misperception regarding Bryan Singer: Calling him a "longtime comics fan" is inaccurate. People who knew him years ago can tell you that, and he himself will tell you (and did tell us) that he is a recent comics fans.
Funny thing is he's way more loyal to the comics than some other people who declare themselves longtime fans. At his appearance on Saturday, for which he made the lengthy flight from New Zealand, he said all the right things.
His Superman is going to be a sort-of sequel to Richard Donner's original Superman movie, with some acknowledgement of the events in Superman II, but not to the extent of being canon. Richard Pryor and Nuclear Man did not exist in this reality.
The footage looks amazing...but it does start with an inherent unfair advantage, in that it (and the movie) uses elements of trhe John Williams score, and the voices of Susannah York and Marlon Brando as Superman's parents. Many of the sets look the same -- the Kent farm, Lois' penthouse -- while others, like the more art-deco Metropolis and Daily Planet building, are different.
Brandon Routh (Superman) reminds me of a comic book version of Jason Schwartzman, in the same kind of way that the buff Luke Skywalker on that very first Star Wars poster holding up the lightsaber was the comic book version of Mark Hamill. Kate Bosworth is more convincing as Lois than I expected -- she has the ADD of Margo Kidder's version down pat. Frank Langella is an odd choice as Perry White. Kevin Spacey looks great bald as Luthor.
Among the images and sounds of the clip:
The Kent farm. Supes returning, nearly nude, in a Kryptonian space pod. Clark returning to the Daily Planet to find Lois has another man, and a stepchild. Lois seeking a cab, and Clark whistling for one in such a high pitch that dogs wince. The cab has a conspicuous Mountain Dew ad on top. Lois saying "The world doesn't need a savior, and neither do I." Lois' boyfriend asking if she loved Superman, her saying "Everyone loved him, and BF replying "but did you?" Supes alighting in her penthouse. Supes saying that Krypton was now a graveyard, and he's the only one left. The space pod outside the Kent farm. Some flashbacks to young Clark falling and catching himself in midair. Lois asking why she's nominate for a Pulitzer for a column saying we don't need a Superman, when the main headline of the paper says we do. Luthor holding a Kryptonian crystal.
A little dig at the Donner film, as somebody says of Superman "He can't make the world stop spinning."
And the real money shot, which you may have seen a storyboard for online...
Superman hovering high above the Earth, in space, listening for trouble. Hearing it. Selecting a destination, and shooting downward towards it, leaving a fireball in his wake as he enters the atmosphere.
The only objection I have? The new dark burgundy of Superman's cape is too dark. It doesn't even look red in some shots.
But that's minor. I lost the ticket for the free Superman gift,. so I never found out what it was. But damn, the movie looks tight.
Posted by LYT at 12:43 PM | Comments (6)
Comiucon 2005: Todd McFarlane panel
I've decided that chronological order isn't the best way to do this, so I'll post throughout the day on different things in random order.
If you follow the sites that deal with toys and movies, there may not be much new news here, but I'm counting on the notion that many of you do not, and that even if you do you'd rather read my version of events than Harry Knowles' or whoever.
Todd McFarlane can blather on for hours, and a lot of what he said was not news to anyone who keeps up on stuff, but here are the gems:
-The new Simpsons figures. There will be two box sets out in time for Christmas, and further lines after that. Most will be scene-specific, pre-posed figures (with a particular emphasis on "Treehouse of Horror," of course). They will not be in the same scale as the Playmates line.
There will also be a spin-off "Itchy and Scratchy" line with moving (and removable) parts and blood-spurting action. Probably not sold at Wal-Mart.
-The new Spawn movie. After bouncing around several studios, Todd is going to make it himself with his own money. "It's my Passion of the Anti-Christ." He figures a distriubution deal will happen when he has a completed product. He shot a test reel with McFarlane company employees, and it looks quite good -- lots of Oliver Stone-like mixed film stocks and color schemes, close-ups of worms and bugs, J-horror style video-ghosts and reverse filming movement. The story appears to be a Death Wish type deal, with a cop turning vigilante to avenge the deaths of his family, but inadvertently awakening Spawn in the process. Todd likens the character of Spawn in this movie to the shark in Jaws. "He doesn't talk or have much of an arc, but he's the main character." It will be R-rated material, and not be connected to the previous movie. Spawn will be the only supernatural character in it: No Violator, Urizen, Cy-Gor, or anything of that sort. Think more along the lines of the Ashley Wood Hellspawn.
Todd even said there might not be any toys from it, but I doubt that. If there can be toys from American Psycho, there can be Spawn movie toys.
-The Spawn comic. With a new creative team, it sounds like Spawn will be getting a makeover similar to Swamp Thing under Alan Moore; wherein he realizes and accepts that he isn't really human at all, and he has to let go of those memories.
After about an hour of Todd talking and people walking out, the guest of honor arrived - Jon Heder, a.k.a. Napoleon Dynamite, looking disheveled and wearing a camo hat. He didn't get to say much, as Todd kept hogging the spotlight. But we did learn that he showed up in person to get scanned for the action figures - usually Todd himself is the reference scan for figure bodies (all the Motley Crue figures were based on Todd, with new heads added later).
Todd said he could probably do about 12 good figures from the Napoleon dance scene - no-one asked the obvious question "Why not just do one that has articulation?" Figure-specific accessories will include the wrestling-toy-on-a-string from the opening sequence. The Pedro figure will have a removable wig.
Jon's next movies: a small role in Dreamworks' "Just Like Heaven," and a major role in the comedy "Benchwarmers" with David Spade and Rob Schneider.
At the end, Todd said "Buy all my figures, because Jon gets royalties!"
To which Jon responded, almost in character: "I do? SWEET!"
Posted by LYT at 10:29 AM | Comments (3)
July 17, 2005
Review Update
Too tired for Comicon blogging tonight. More tomorrow. Meantime, a venomous review of a movie many others are sure to love.
"War makes children cry, but you know what else does? Not getting candy. Having to do homework. Any task that's hard. Frankly, it's pretty easy to make a kid cry. Now, if the uprising were to make a grown man cry, then you'd have some impact. If it were to give us a little more information about the lead-up to the struggle, that'd be even better. Granted, that may not be the movie director Andrés Wood wanted to make, but then again, his movie isn't the one I want to see."
Read more on Machuca.
Posted by LYT at 1:35 AM | Comments (0)
July 16, 2005
Citizen Kane
There was only one reason to attend the Lions Gate horror panel - to see WWE's own Kane. I had been frustrated trying to get his autograph earlier in the day, only to find that the line was now for Tom "Dolph Lundgren kicks my ass" Jane.
Lions Gate had a highlight reel of many of their horror products, which did not include May, though it did include Leprechaun, which they picked up from Trimark and so can't reaslly take credit for.
Kane stars as a serial killer in the upcoming film SEE NO EVIL (Formerly EYE SCREAM MAN - because he cuts out his victims' eyes, get it?). We were shown a clip, and it looked like a lot of modern horror movies in the SEVEN mold, though we were assured it would be a hard R, full of gore, and that the sickest stuff in the movie was stuff Vince McMahon came up with. Kane described his character in it as "an extreme version of what I play on TV."
Though he did wear the color contacts still, Kane wasn't exactly in character, posing for pictures with little girls and smiling a lot. He was asked who in the WWE he'd like to have as a victim in the film. Someone yelled out "Vince!" and Kane saqid "No, no because thenm I'd be out of a job." After careful consideration, he added, in character, "LITA!"
And then, out of character, "And maybe Christian, too, because he would die in a really entertaining way."
Someone asked the Lions Gate guy why they did such a horrible job dubhbing High Tension. Taken aback, he said that he really wanted to focus on the movie at hand, but that they were hoping High Tension would be a more accessible mainstream movie by doing that, though it didn't happen. "Here at Lions Gate, we're always trying new things, and some of them work, and some don't." He noted that the DVD will have the option of original French-only audio.
Then there was a brief look at SAW II, a clip whjere a guy has a metal clamp around his head that will snap shut and bury spikes deep into his head unless he finds the key. Writer Leigh Whannell was about to spill more, hinting that the key is surgically implanted inside the guy himself, but the studio dude stopped him. The producer added: "But let's just say the killer wants to know if he has the BALLS to save himself." Another deathrtrap in the film involves a 5 x 5 foot deep pit full of dirty syringes.
In the evning, I got to see a program of "The Worst Cartoons Ever," which included a sci-fi gem called "Rocket Robin Hood," that was set on "Sherwood Asteroid." The plot involved Maid Marian's impending marriage to the Sheriff of Not's Woodyu Allen-like son. Robin saves the day by tricking the guy into marrying a monkey instead, and Little John complains about tightness in his pants. This was a legit kiddie toon from years ago.
Others included the Rankin-Bass King Kong toon, in which Kong is the oversize pet of a small boy; one about a kid and a moronic bear sidekick who do secret government work; one called Captain fathom in which live-action lips were used, and the plot is incomprehensible, and Captain Fathom never even shows up; "Bucky and Pepito," in which a kid cowboy and a kid bandito are tormented by a large rabbit with a big mustache; and "The Big World of Little Adam," a science toon all about how great Intercontinental Ballistic Missiles are.
Posted by LYT at 7:48 AM | Comments (0)
SDCC 2005: Friday
As you can see, there is no bad blood between me and Sid Haig. Moving on...
First panel of the morning - Warner Bros. movies.
V FOR VENDETTA. Natalie Portman was the big attraction here, wearing too much makeup but still hot. Joel Silver was beside her; between the two of them, their average body mass might be normal.
David Lloyd, original artist of teh comics, was also there to say that Alan Moore would probably be impossible to please with any adapatation and that's why he threw a hissy fit. BUt then they showed the trailer.
The good news is that Nattie's English accent sounds fine. The bad news is that V looks like a ninja, throwing knives that fly through the air in bullet-time. And any movie that promotes itself as "uncompromising" is not to be trusted, especially if Joel Silver had his hands on it. The free V masks were cool.
CORPSE BRIDE: we got to see an entire musical number (there are four total in the movie), a Cab Calloway style skeleton dance number. Pretty fun. Basically, it looks a biot like if Beetlejuice had successfully married Winona, but with reverse genders and the marriage portrayed as a positive thing. Does that make sense?
HARRY POTTER 4. Exclusive Comicon trailer looks action-packed and epic. Not much else to say.
THE FOUNTAIN. Darren Aronofsky sounds like Ray Romano when he talks. I am still not convinced that he doesn't suck. We saw some 10 min of the new one, which spans three time periods - medieval, modern, and future. Hugh Jackman stars in all three as a guy looking for the fountain of youth, so he can keep Rachel Weisz alive forever. So far it looks as moody and pointless as Soderbergh's Solaris remake.
Next post: KANE!
Posted by LYT at 1:01 AM | Comments (1)
July 15, 2005
Thursday part two
News on The Woods? Maybe kinda.
I went to the Sony booth and asked a guy there. What follows is an approximation of what was said...
"Hey, I have a question"
"Sure, what can I help you with?"
"Is there any news on a release date for The Woods?"
"Hmmm, good question. You mean the one with Patty Clarkson?" [love his familiarity with the Oscar-nominated Ms. Patricia)
"Yes, that one"
"Well, it was a United Artists film, but now it's ours, so we just have to finish it up and get it out there somehow."
"It IS finished. I saw the finished cut in January."
"You did? How is it?"
"It's awesome...but maybe a tougher sell than Underworld 2. But Lauren Birkell is here, Bruce Campbell is here, and no-one's promoting it."
"Bruce Campbell's in it?"
"Yes."
"Hmmm. Yeeeah, United Artists were the ones who were really behind that movie, but United Artists is no more, so..."
"Is it going to come out at all?"
"Oh yeah, maybe through Sony Classics or something."
"Because I'm friends with the director, and I don't want to see this movie screwed over the way MAY was."
"MAY still plays on cable though!"
So there you have it. I then went to teh Bruce Campbell panel, and while the question was not asked of him directly, I think the answer could be inferred from some oif the things he said.
A common question was "When is ____ coming out?" Bruce's standard response was initially a sarcastic "Why, because it was so good?" but then usually followed by a mantra-like "I-am-an-actor-they-don't-tell-me-shit." Soimeone also asked about a particualr DVD property, and he said something like "MGM was going to do it, but then SAM RAIMI's company Sony bought them out, and when something like that happens it usually takes about a year to figure out who gets which desk."
Asked about the Evil Dead remake, he said "Oh, you mean the one starring Ashton Kutcher?" When everyone booed, he went "Hold on. Don't you wanna see Ashton Kutcher get raped by a tree?" He then did a very convincing impersonation of same. Anyway, the remake is being agreed to as a gfavor to the original Detroit investors on Evil Dead, who wanted to cash in, and both Raimi and Campbell figured since they owed their careers to these guys, t6hey'd say yes and help 'em out. Bruce figures he probably won't be in it. "Who would I play, the old guy at the bait store?"
"Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash" was an idea that came up in a five minute conversation with New Line, but he and Raimi shot it down, mainly because they'd only get a third of the money and a third of the creative control (no guarantee that Ash gets to win, for example).
Asked if he'd be in Spider-Man 3, he said yes, but they wouldn't tell him details. But since he named Spider-Man in the first one, and was "the only villain to ever defeat Spider-Man in the second one" he was probably coming back as someone who annoys Spider-Man somehow.
He really didn't have any news on upcoming projects, except to show a trailer for SKY HIGH, the Disney superhero movie in which he plays a coach with a sonic boom voice. But very enteratining as always. Someone asked if, when you "Make Love the Bruce Campbell way" (his recent book title), the other person calls otu "Hail to the king, baby".
Bruce's response? "You, sir, are a moron. Sit down."
The guy seemed totally honored to be insulted.
Oh, last night I got into the advance screening of RED EYE. But due to an agreement with Dreamworks, I can say nothign about it publicly till it opens.
Posted by LYT at 7:23 AM | Comments (2)
July 14, 2005
Comicon 2005 - Thursday
I really did intend to use public transportation this year. But the freakin' trains don't run at night during the week.
So...Up at 7 a.m. Out of the house at 8. Parked at my uncle's office building using his pass, since he's out of town. I didn't even need it, it turns out because there was a baseball game in town.
I'll explain: Normal guests parking in the structure pay on the way out. People going to baseball games get charged on the way in. As I left with the baseball crowd, assumptions were made by certain parking attendants.
I took an early lunch at the Octopus Garden, a great sushi place that has freshly caught San Diego seafood. The sea urchin was fresh, though not as tasty as usual. Large oysters were great. I think maybe my dad hates oysters (yet forces himself to eat them because he thinks he SHOULD like them; yes, really) because he's under the impression you're supposed to swallow them whole. I savor the flavor.
I was the only customer there. Stereotypical overweight nerds eat badly, so something as good as this, forget it.
First panel of the day was for The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari remake, starring Lauren Birkell (who isn't here yet) and Doug Jones (also not here - but he played Abe Sapien in Hellboy, with voice dubbed in by that Niles Crane guy).
You know the way George Lucas digitally added in Hayden Christensen over top of Sebastian Shaw on the new Return of the Jedi DVD? This version of Caligari is like that, but taking the old film and replacing every single actor (except some extras) with new actors. A fascinating experiment, anyway. And I never before noticed how much Lauren really does look liek a classic silent-era beauty. Too bad that's not what's being looked for by myopic studios. But there is talking in this Caligari.
Next panel was for A Scanner Darkly, the animation-over live action Waking Life-type R-rated sci-fi cartoon from Richard Linklater, starring Keanu, Winona, Woody, and Robert Jr. (really need last names?) None of whom were present.
But the genius thing is that, in addition to the animators who were there, there was a robot mannequin of author Philip K. Dick, which they announced as being actually him. I don't know how many people knew that Dick is actually dead. I figured it was an impersonator - this thing looked real.
It was an INTERACTIVE robot, too. If asked a question, it would respond with a random phrase in Stephen Hawking-ese. Mostly stuff like "You should learn a foreign language," but at one point it went off on a long rambling monologue about Ridley Scott.
I get the sense that Winona may finally get naked in this, but since it's a rotoscoped cartoon that maybe doesn't count. The story is about a narcotics officer who takes drugs and loses himself. The clip they showed was about Robert Downey coming home with a bike he bought for $50, and Woody and Winona and Keanu arguing with him that it isn't really an 18-speed bike like he thinks it is. Downey is totally hyper and insane. Woody has on a Wally George wig.
Most of the questiosn were either about comparing this movie to Waking Life, or making fun of Keanu's acting. Keanu's beard was the toughest part to animate.
More later. I added 7 new pics to buzznet, including B&B above, plus more Kong toys, SOTA horror movie toys, and the Batman exclusives I won via lottery on the first try. If the animated figure had been anyone other than Catwoman I'd have refrained, but I just dig chicks wearing goggles.
Posted by LYT at 11:08 PM | Comments (0)
July 13, 2005
Some Comicon pics...
Click on the buzznet images to the lfet to see 10 new pics of new toys including Napoleon Dynamite, Darkstalkers, and King Kong.
Posted by LYT at 11:56 PM | Comments (2)
July 12, 2005
Mixed Messages at Target
Posted by LYT at 11:42 PM | Comments (0)
How to find me at Comicon, if you so choose
First thing to know is that I don't have a cellphone. If you want to arrange a meeting with me, email me the night before.
You might think I'm easy to spot, but not at Comicon. Trust me.
I'll be there every day, and the events I'm most likely (but not 100% guaranteed) to attend are:
Wednesday, preview night: Hall open from 6-9. Webmaster Brian works the booth for artist William Stout, so I generally leave my stuff there, and/or chill between events. My friend Lauren Birkell, from The Woods, will be working the Highlander Films booth on Saturday, and is worth meeting, but I warn you taht she knows nothing new about that film's status. Ask her about the Dr. Caligari remake instead. Dunno if Lloyd Kaufman will be working the Troma booth this year or not, but I hang with him sometimes too.
Thursday:
12:00-1:00 Action Figure Insider: Spotlight on Toy Biz. I don't collect a whole lot of Toy Biz, but the process is interesting to me.
12:30-1:30 The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari: 2005 Sneak Peek. Lauren won't be there yet, as I said, but you'll get to see some new footage of her.
1:30-2:30 Philip K. Dick’s A Scanner Darkly: The Movie. A new sci-fi flick starring Keanu Reeves that's been animated over live-action footage a la Waking Life.
2:00-3:00 Art Asylum: Clive Barker. Who doesn't love Clive Barker? He'll be presenting his new line of plush toys for kids (!). Seriously.
3:30-4:30 Spotlight on Bruce Campbell: What’s New With Bruce? Please, somebody, ask him about The Woods. You can even ask him if he remembers that faggy rainbow-hair who hung out on the set, but he probably doesn't.
6:00-7:00 Action Figure Times: Toymaker Q&A. Reps from Mezco, McFarlane, Art Asylum, and Sideshow will be there, but best of all, a guy from MATTEL. Dunno if he's prepared for the hatred he's about to receive. Suggested question: If Mattel isn't going to continue Masters of the Universe action figures, why not let NECA have the rights, since they're already doing figure-sized statues?
Thursday night the movie RED-EYE is screening at the AMC downtown.
Friday:
11:00-1:00 Warner Bros. Presents. Natalie Portman will be in the house! She'll be pimping V FOR VENDETTA, a fictional movie about terrorism in London (interesting timing, eh?). Also previewed: Harry Potter 4, Corpse Bride, and Darren Aronofsky's THE FOUNTAIN
12:00-1:00 House of the Dead 2. Uwe Boll is not involved, Sid Haig stars, and everyone swears it'll be way better than the first. Hmmm.
2:00-2:45 Sony Presents: Zathura and The Legend of Zorro. Jon Favreau will be appearing. He's pretty large, so you can't miss him.
4:30-5:30 Lions Gate Films: The Past, Present, and Future of Horror. They fucked up their handling of MAY, but the major reason to go to this panel is the first Con appearance from WWE star KANE! Kane will be starring in a new horror movie for them, and it'll be real interesting to see how he comes off in person since, unlike other major stars, he has NEVER broken character in public. And since that character is a delusional psychotic son of an evil mortician, well, that could get scary.
4:45-6:15 Lucasfilm Presents: Star Wars Spectacular. There's a good chance something about the TV show will be revealed here.
5:30-7:00 The Jim Henson Company’s 50th Anniversary: Retrospective and Sneak Peek at MirrorMask. I've already seen MirrorMask, and trust me, it's worth your time.
5:30-7:00 Action Figure Insider: Under the Knife. A bunch of action figure sculptors in the house!
Friday night there's a screening of The Island, but I'll have seen it by then. Instead, I intend to go to...
10:00-11:00 Jerry Beck’s Worst Cartoons Ever—If Ed Wood were an animator, these are the cartoons he would have made. Animation historian Jerry Beck presents an all-new selection of some of the worst animated films ever made.
Saturday:
10:30-11:30 Warner Bros. Presents: Superman Returns. Bryan Singer will be there, and probably show some footage.
11:45-12:45 Paramount Pictures Presents: Aeon Flux and War of the Worlds. Charlize Theron and Peter Chung!
1:00-2:30 Todd McFarlane Tells All. Todd's special guest will be Napoleon Dynamite himself, Jon Heder, to promote the new action figures. If you want this audience to boo you, ask Todd a question about sports.
2:15-3:15 Universal Presents Serenity and Slither. I don't know about Serenity and don't care, but Slither is the directorial debut of James Gunn, who I'm a big fan of. Sorry James, I think I'll be watching Todd and Jon instead.
2:30-3:30 Rob Zombie: The Devil’s Rejects. You could go to this, but Sid Haig has a booth in the main hall and you can talk to him any time. Incidentally, the movie itself is showing Saturday night. I've seen it, and it's a WHOLE lot better than House of 1000 Corpses.
3:00-4:30 Ray Bradbury, Ray Harryhausen, and Forrest J. Ackerman. No comment needed here, but try asking Bradbury if he's still mad at Michael Moore.
3:30-5:00 Sony Presents....not The Woods? Instead, Underworld 2, The fog remake, and Ghost Rider. I wouldn't be surprised if Nic Cage makes a surprise appearance here.
5:15-6:15 Universal Presents: King Kong. And afterwards, a live set by Tenacious D. This is already the hottest ticket event.
5:30-7:00 Gays in Comics: Infinite Pride. Offered for the benefit of Ben Boyer.
Saturday night the best thing to do is hang out in the sails pavilion and watch the masquerade on a big screen TV while eating free nachos.
Sunday:
10:30-12:00 Christian Comics Meeting. I'd go except they're going to open with a hymn and a prayer. But anyway, if you're tired of the eclectic pagan worldview on display, this is for you.
11:00-11:30 Rogue Pictures Presents Cry Wolf. A new thriller starring Jon Bon Jovi, who won't be showing up.
11:30-12:30 Universal: Doom. Awwww yeeeah...Guess who's gonna "Just Bring It" to this panel? This look at the videogame-based movie should, well, Rock.
12:00-1:00 Nickelodeon: Spongebob Squarepants. New episodes are screening, apparently.
12:30-1:30 Walt Disney Pictures/Walden Media present The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. For those who wanted Lord of the Rings to be more preachy.
3:00-4:30 Starship Smackdown: Finale. This is always a lot of fun -- a bunch of geeks argue about who would win in a space battle between one fictional starship and another. Proof that my brother Reuben may never, ever grow out of such debates.
Posted by LYT at 2:25 PM | Comments (5)
Baying at the moon
I never hated director Michael Bay the way other people seem to.
But now I do. GRRRRR!
(tip-off from the equally frustrated David Poland)
Posted by LYT at 2:07 PM | Comments (2)
Tired but Excited
The best time of year is coming up - the San Diego Comicon is this week. Must pack, and then head down tomorrow. Will liveblog if I can.
Yesterday I spent the day helping Webmaster Matt move out of Hollywood to West L.A. It was fun to get out of the house and get some exercise; less fun actually making the drive.
See, there are really no efficient freeways from Hollywood to the westside; the only straight shot is Santa Monica Blvd., which remains at a paltry two lanes on each side. For two years, not long ago, the stretch through West Hollywood was being rennovated, and everyone hoped it would be wider by the end. It wasn't. They just added more pedestrian crossings and parking spaces, not helping traffic at all.
Now, there's a two-year rennovation process happening on the other end, by the 405 freeway. This one actually does hold the promise of a wider street by the end, but that's a long way off.
On a different note, I'm amazed at hopw much stuff Matt's partner Teresa can carry. She's like an ant -- it looks like she's holding six times her body weight. I wouldn't necessarily count her otu of an arm wrestling contest.
Went to an art supply store near Matt's new place to buy some stencils to make custom design LYT pants (a long overdue item). With the paint I got, you have to iron the reverse side afterwards. I don't know if I still have an iron, and certainly not a board, but...anyone want to loan me their ironing services for a day?
The female clerk at the store was quite attractive, and Matt nobly tried to be my wingman, loudly pointing out how "hot" the picture of me was on my credit card. I suppose that could be read as gay, too. I can't really hit on a stranger though. Never learne dthe knack. Especially since her grungy, dreadlocked boyfriedn looke dto be right there.
Posted by LYT at 11:55 AM | Comments (3)
July 11, 2005
My official words on Dark Water
Imagine if someone decided to remake A Nightmare on Elm Street as a romantic drama about the dating woes of Heather Langenkamp, with a brief side-tangent about a slightly unpleasant but dapper fellow named Fred Krueger who wears velvet gloves and has a perfect complexion. That kind of bastardization is more or less what Disney, director Walter Salles, and screenwriter Rafael Yglesias have done to Hideo Nakata’s masterpiece. Stripped of every major scary moment, and restructured in what feels like a deliberate attempt to remove all suspense, this “horror” movie is now a domestic soap opera, in which goofily named mom and daughter combo Dahlia (Jennifer Connelly) and Ceci (Ariel Gade) move into a run-down apartment and have to deal with custody issues, imaginary friends, and Pete Postlethwaite’s hideously fake Russian accent. We’re supposed to wonder if a ghost (Perla Haney-Jardine) is real or not, but we see her early on, and she isn’t scary. The Pang Brothers’ The Eye and Gore Verbinski’s The Ring were better remakes of Dark Water than this.
Posted by LYT at 9:16 PM | Comments (5)
July 10, 2005
New Trailer Trash column
I'm alternating now with a New York-based writer named Rachel Sear who seems good, and very different from me, natch.
Here's my latest.
Posted by LYT at 11:45 PM | Comments (8)
The horror! Critic likes entertaining movies!
Time Out Chicago recently ran a piece complaining that Roger Ebert (the best-known movie-critic in America, for those of you reading this in other countries) goes too easy on movies.
Funny thing is, in all the examples they cite, I agree with Ebert.
Look, you can't win in this game. If a critic derides a movie like Con Air, we get bashed for allegedly not being able to enjoy something that's just mindless entertainment, and accused of somehow wishing we were instead watching a subtitled Iranian drama about repressed emotions.
If we like the movie, we get called idiots and readers question why anyone would hire a critic with such low standards.
My favorite movie of all time is 2001, which has great special effects AND deep themes. But a close runner up is Flash Gordon, which is just pure fun.
In that Time Out article, Ebert gets bashed for second-guessing himself. Let's get real. Most readers don't think about this, but in the reviewing profession, one very frequently has to write a review overnight, after a sole viewing of the film, occasionally amidst an audience of obnoxious morons. If you've ever in your life used the phrase "seemed like a good idea at the time," you should be able to understand how and why reviewers will second guess themselves constantly, and that an initial review may not be as well considered as something seen several times over the years. This is why most critics sound a lot smarter when they're discussing their favorite movies.
This won't be the first or last time I say this, but here goes: If a movie entertains me and draws me into its world, I will probably miss many of its flaws. If it fails to engage me, I will pass the time by noting the technical and structural aspects, especially those that don't work. I suspect many other critics work the same way.
Ebert is somewhat straitjacketed by the fact that his show requires his reviews to be distilled into a simple "thumbs up" or "thumbs down" (no "thumbs in the middle"). But when I actually read his print reviews, I remember why he's the master. At times he can be insane and wrong, but when you see and write about everything, there will be a misstep or two.
Also, SHREK 2 still sucks.
Posted by LYT at 3:02 PM | Comments (15)
Sigh-fi
I just watched the first episodes I've ever seen of the remake BATTLESTAR GALACTICA TV series. I know everyone is loving this show and all, but man, it could use a little bit of humor, no? People make jokes even in dark circumstances.
Okay, I admit, I'm one of the only people I know who reveres the original GALACTICA 2-hour movie fromk the '70s as not just a fun flick, but a damn good movie, sci-fi or otherwise. The sheer number of well-developed characters: Starbuck, Apollo, Boomer, Athena, Adama, Col. Tigh, Sire Uri, Baltar, Cassiopeia; the storyline that begins with mass genocide and continues into a savage satire of Las Vegas in which casino-goers are ultimately fattened and eaten by large insects; the special effects that hold up pretty well; the design of the Cylons; the "civilain vs. military" political leadership debates; the Adama/Tigh scene that pays homage to 2001...It's good stuff.
Most of the TV episodes that followed got a little cheesy, but the original movie works well. Watch it and you might be surprised.
This new version is soooo dour. There's more sex, but no-one seems to be having any fun, ever. No Dirk Benedicts in this cast, for sure. Edward James Olmos is a good Adama, and the female Starbuck is a good character, but she really should be more of a wiseass if she's to earn that mantle. The Cylons are divided between CG robots and exact copies of humans, which doesn't make much sense, and the old chrome robots looked better than the new digital ones anyway. Their vehicles have been made over to be more threatening, all pointy and stuff, rather than basic flying saucer shapes like in the old show. I don't think there's an Imperious Leader or Lucifer on this show.
There is a new Baltar, and I hate him already. Guy looks like a soap opera star with his goofy Lorenzo Lamas hair and Star Trek Dr. Bashir accent. A lot of the cast look too much like the kind of generic TV stars that are on every show, but it's most jarring with Baltar. John Colicos on the old show was a classic Vincent Price-type villain; the new guy has sex all the time with a chick who seems to exist only in his head, so I guess he has to be good-looking. But Fabio-looking? Not happening.
Oh, and the theme music. Look, you can change the story all you want. I don't care that formerly black sidekick Boomer's now a chick, an Asian, and an undercover Cylon to boot, for example, but you DON'T MESS WITH A CLASSIC THEME! Especially if you're just going to replace it with the by-now cliched Lisa Gerrard style tragedy-chant nonsense that's used on everything nowadays. "Hiiii-ya....yoooooah hey-ya-hahhhhh!" Shut up! Why are you trying to sound Arabian, for fuck's sake? This is outer space! Use the old theme!
The Star Wars TV show had better not pull this shit.
Other than that, hey, it seems all right. The people writing the script seem to know what's up -- Galactica does indeed make more sense as a continuing narrative rather than an episodic series of visits to planets of goofy "rubberheads."
I'd totally bang the new Starbuck, but I'd take the original Athena over her in a parsec micron. Frak!
Posted by LYT at 2:07 AM | Comments (1)
Equal opportunity for nutty critics with agendas
Just so that I don't pick on the right-wing nuts at Movieguide all the time, howzabout some extreme left-wing morons?
I wondered if their site was a parody, but I don't think so. I've seen the free newsletters that these people hand out.
Some samples from their site (which doesn't seem to update much):
Tank Girl? The movie in which Lori Petty has sex with a mutant kangaroo? Yep. But ohhh, it gets better. Check out the Maoist reading of Harry Potter.
Okay, first of all, they're DEMENTORS. And the thought of them having a union is fucking hilarious.
Bet these Leftists will love Michael Moore, right? Well, only sorta:
You may have noticed, fellas, but Moore does love him some fast food cheeseburger at the expense of the proletariat.
Wait! I see dumb people!
There's more, much more.
Posted by LYT at 1:37 AM | Comments (2)
July 9, 2005
I've just seen an early contender for worst movie of the year
Since it didn't screen in timely fashion, my review for New Times will be short and late. So much as I'd love to vent here, it must wait until then.
But I do feel the need to warn you: Stay away from completely incompetent remakes of brilliant Japanese movies, especially if a certain star of Labyrinth is involved. Buy the original on DVD instead.
Movieguide hates it too, but for totally different reasons:
"The movie's occult worldview is abhorrent, however. It assumes the existence of ghosts who can come back and haunt other people, including lure people to their death, or even help and comfort them....All of these pagan, occult beliefs about ghosts contradict God's commandments, which adamantly forbid us in Deut. 18:9-14 and other passages to consult spirits or dead people."
Funny, I thought much of Christianity was about establishing a personal relationship with a dead guy.
Some other gems this week from Movieguide:
On March of the Penguins: "Except for the opening comments about a million years of evolution, the rest of the movie is a classic wildlife documentary about and extraordinary bird, the Emperor Penguin."
On Happy Endings: "HAPPY ENDINGS seems like just an excuse to push a pro-homosexual, politically correct agenda. Regrettably, the attitudes expressed in his movie represent the beliefs of all too many American citizens, including many political and religious leaders and teachers. Don't let your family be brainwashed by these evil attitudes."
And, finally, Land of the Dead: "not only does the movie have an anti-capitalist and anti-American liberal worldview, groups of people in the screening audience often cheered much of the gruesome violence and outrageous acts of cannibalism. The question arises, therefore, does this movie represent a new, atrocious level of liberal blood lust against America that seems to have infected so many people on the left, including many young people?"
I can answer that one: No.
Posted by LYT at 12:01 AM | Comments (5)
July 8, 2005
He's no Darth Vader...
But this is one black-clad action figure that's gonna please a lot of people (me included).
Posted by LYT at 1:45 PM | Comments (4)
July 7, 2005
We are all English (some of us by blood)
P.S. To everyone, left or right, trying to score political points on this before the dead are even buried -- FUCK OFF.
Sincerely.
Posted by LYT at 12:35 PM | Comments (4)
Review Update
Forget Romero's latest (I'm trying to). Undead is the new zombie hit.
"Initially, things progress like [Peter] Jackson's Dead Alive, with mutilations played for laughs and lines of dialogue like one policeman's reaction to the acid rain and teleportation beams: "Well, I'm no weather girl, but I'm sure this kinda thing happens all the time!" Rene manages to make it to the house of a nut-job redneck survivalist (yes, they have those in other countries, too) named Marion, possibly in honor of Marion "John Wayne" Morrison, and played by a chap named Mungo McKay, who isn't a very good actor but is named Mungo, which counts for a lot. "
Read the whole thing [and please note: I did NOT come up with the headline "G'Dead, Mate"]
and
Meet Picasso's rival, Modigliani.
"Modigliani is a tough sell of a movie, because it isn't really scholarly or deep enough for the art-house crowd -- you'd never know, for example, that the artist sculpted as well as painted or that he was strongly influenced by African tribal masks -- but isn't quite the story that the multiplex crowds would go see. It's very mainstream in execution, but it's tough to believably portray painting as though it were a competitive sport."
read the whole thing
Posted by LYT at 2:41 AM | Comments (1)
Mark your calendar
Posted by LYT at 12:56 AM | Comments (0)
July 6, 2005
In honor of the upcoming Comicon, a photoshopped still from last year
Posted by LYT at 6:08 PM | Comments (2)
Four: They’re Jolly Good Fellows
I always dug the Fantastic Four as a kid. They had the color-coded uniforms, their powers were easy to get a handle on, and The Thing was a lot like a big kid himself (what grown man says “It’s clobberin’ time!”?). Eventually, like every other male, I “graduated” to the dark and angst-ridden guys: Batman, Wolverine, Punisher, and the like. So I’m no nitpicker when it comes to the FF, but I do have a fondness for them. We’re also long overdue for a superhero movie in which the superheroes aren’t whiny and upset all the time. Nothing wrong with being a mental case, but we need a few who aren’t for balance (note to president Dubya -- the same goes for the Supreme Court).
The biggest problem with adapting the FF to live action is that they hail from simpler times, and their origin is preposterously stupid. Four astronauts go into space (five in the movie, but we’ll get to that), get hit with THE SAME cosmic rays that just happen to grant them all COMPLETELY DIFFERENT super powers. In past incarnations, there was some attempt to make a case that their mutations somehow literally matched their personalities, but here that’s only half-assed: Reed Richards (Ioan Gruffudd) is described as flexible, and Johnny Storm (Chris Evans) is called a hothead, so of course they end up becoming stretchy and fiery, respectively. But why is Sue (Jessica Alba) made invisible? It’s not like Alba ever could be ignored, by any stretch of the imagination. And Ben Grimm (Michael Chiklis) turning into a pile of orange rocks? Best not to even try to explain that one. So they don’t.
Another thing that’s kinda silly about the powers: Johnny Storm’s Human Torch mutation somehow obeys English commands in the comic, appearing only when he says “Flame on!” This sounds cool when you’re a kid, and makes no sense when analyzed with any grown-up logic. In the movie, sensibly, he’s not bound by words, though he does utter the catchphrase.
Chiklis is perfect as The Thing. I was apprehensive about the latex suit, because it really doesn’t look like rock at all, but it’s for the best that he wasn’t done in CG. The performance carries it, and it’s nice to have some things still done practically. I personally prefer the “unibrow” Thing to the “burn victim” thing, but the comics allow a precedent for both. As a bone for fans, the Marvel Legends action figure of the unibrow Thing makes a cameo. And speaking of bones, there is a reference to Reed Richards being able to stretch any part of his anatomy, but we never do learn whether or not The Thing gets, as Prince might say, “Rock Hard in a Funky Place.” But he does find a blind chick who’s all into orange boulders, so it’s all good.
Gruffudd is similarly good as Reed (a.k.a. “Mr. Fantastic”), though his white sideburns come and go. Evans isn’t blond, but other than that he’s fine as the smart-ass Torch. Jessica Alba...is hot (It’s slobberin’ time). And she’s naked...but only while invisible. Sorry, boys. You’ll never get with her. Nor will I. Unless you happen to be a rock star or a director, perhaps. Yes, I am a director, but of the soon-to-be most annoying movie ever made, which doesn’t count when it comes to boning.
Where the movie screws up is when it comes to Dr. Doom (Julian McMahon), who has been rejiggered to be the fifth astronaut on the spaceship. Doom is the greatest of the Marvel villains in terms of longevity and marketability; he was arguably the primary source of inspiration for Darth Vader. He’s also supposed to be an Eastern European dictator, with an arsenal at his disposal. The movie makes a token nod to this by mentioning that he’s from the fictional nation of Latveria, and he is named Victor von Doom, which leaves him no choice but to become a villain.
But rather than donning freaky armor to hide burns, Doom grows metal skin. Metal skin that comes and goes like Reed’s sideburns -- the continuity people were evidently asleep at the wheel, or the movie’s chronology substantially altered in the editing room. And here’s the real genius move: Even though Doom’s skin is becoming metal anyway, he dons a scary metal facemask long before he has to. And that scary mask? It’s a trophy, an award for humanitarian operations from the people of Latveria, who evidently have some issues. No origin is given for the green cloak -- it just appears. Also he has the powers of Ernest P. Worrell in ERNEST GOES TO JAIL -- he can suck up electricity and fire it back as a weapon. McMahon’s voice, which works as long as he’s a James Bond-type evil tycoon, does not work well with the mask; it makes Dr. Doom sound gay. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that, unless you’re supposed to be the most intimidating guy on the planet)
Doom’s also kind of an idiot. When he sees that super powers make the Fantastic Four into heroes and celebrities, he gets bitter. Does he, ostensibly a smart businessman, ever try to use his own new powers to cash in and save his company? No, he just steals some missiles and freezing gas, and decides to kill Reed, whose death would be significantly more high-profile now, as a celebrity. Doom takes so long to become a supervillain that his first battle with the team is also the last.
Now, some word of warning about the dialogue. Raise your hand if you liked that Halle Berry “one-liner” in X-MEN, you know, “What happens to a toad when it gets struck by lightning?” Anyone? Thought not. This line is more or less reprised THREE times in FANTASTIC FOUR, with Doom and Reed asking one another what happens to rubber/metal when such and such a thing happens. And they never even answer these rhetorical questions, so if you’re a kid, or just a dunce at science, you’ll be left hanging.
So what’s good? It’s just cool to see the Fantastic Four onscreen. They get the group dynamic right, and it’s fun to see their powers in action, because they seem to be having fun too. As I said upfront, I’m not a stickler for accuracy when it comes to the FF -- if you are, you may hate it. Yes, it’s kinda stupid, but it’s basically fun.
Posted by LYT at 4:30 PM | Comments (4)
Great news for WWE fans
And we could use some...
If THIS leads to anything, my waning interest will kick up a notch once again.
Posted by LYT at 11:57 AM | Comments (3)
July 4, 2005
Happy Independence Day!
Posted by LYT at 12:16 AM | Comments (4)
July 2, 2005
Who'll be the next Supreme Court Justice?
I'm psychic, so I can describe this person.
-It isn't a white guy.
-It's someone Bush has worked with before, and who he knows personally.
-It's someone not only right-wing, but also insane, with a track record of proven failure and embittered subordinates.
This person will nonetheless be confirmed. And anyone surprised by any of this has clearly not been paying attention.
Posted by LYT at 5:25 PM | Comments (6)
July 1, 2005
And I think you're so mean, I think we should try...
...I think I could need/this in my life
Posted by LYT at 9:52 PM | Comments (10)
Gregg Araki is now mad at me too
I'm just on a roll when it comes to pissing off cult celebrities (and those who sleep with them). First Sid Haig's girlfriend, now Gregg.
Word has it he's upset that I said Michael Jackson would enjoy his movie about pedophilia.
Hey, let's just bring everything full circle here -- I think Robert Blake might enjoy The Devil's Rejects!
Are there any famous people who like me?
Posted by LYT at 2:17 PM | Comments (2)
Episode III: The Backstroke of the West
Another hilarious link from Steve Davy (who usually just forwards Moveon.org stuff, but seems to be in a good mood lately)
Revenge of the Sith, via China
Posted by LYT at 2:01 PM | Comments (1)