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August 31, 2005
Because my mother asked...
I'm going to survey my readers on a bitingly important issue.
As many of you are aware, I live an a decent-sized one-bedroom apartment. For years, I've ahd a small portable vaccuum cleaner, but when my mom came and visited and tried to use it, she claimed that it wasn't working and she was afraid it was going to explode. Once she had gotten me a new bed, she insisted that my new priority should be to buy a new vaccuum cleaner.
Nearly every subsequent phone conversation invoked this at some point.
So one day I'm in Kmart shopping for new shelving units, and I see a pretty cheap number, good brand, a bit like my old one except cordless, with a charger, and a brush extension. Good deal! So I bought it.
My mother calls on my birthday. I tell her she should be happy; I got a new vacuum cleaner. She asks for the details. Upon finding out it's a portable, she lectures me that this is the wrong kind of vacuum cleaner.
It's been a point of contention ever since. She just recently said, "I just think you're crazy to get another small one, and I think most people would agree with me."
So she suggested I open this up for discussion. Done.
Posted by LYT at 2:32 PM | Comments (37)
Remember the story of how Nero fiddled while Rome burned?
Somehow that came to mind when I saw this photo of what Bush is doing as New Orleans drowns.
(hat tip: Kos)
Posted by LYT at 12:41 PM | Comments (0)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!
i'm usually terrible about forgetting, so i stayed up till midnight just to be sure i didn't this year.
no pictures - at her request and due to stalkerish ex-clients who might be reading.
also a happy b-day to Mike and Yvonne, whom I just stayed with a couple weeks ago.
Richard Gere is the exact same age as my mother. EXACT.
Posted by LYT at 12:01 AM | Comments (3)
August 30, 2005
Alas, New Orleans (UPDATED)
The fact that we knew this was coming doesn't make it any better. I don't quite understand the impulse of people to stay in the path of impending doom when they could leave, but it doesn't make me feel any less for them.
I've only been to New Orelans once, but I loved it. It's an amazing city with a unique vibe that's not like any other town I've ever been to. I truly hope it prevails. I'm not sure if any of the people I met when I was there still live there -- I know at least one does not (and if she's reading, I'm hoping the best for her friends and family. Come to think of it, regardless of whether she's reading or not).
Oh, and the first preacher to call this God's revenge for Mardi Gras should be severely beaten. You know that's coming.
UPDATE: Right-wingers jokingly equate the hurricane with the editor of left-wing paper The Nation.
(hat tip: Martini Republic)
Posted by LYT at 6:17 PM | Comments (13)
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Posted by LYT at 1:14 PM | Comments (2)
August 29, 2005
ReJeKt's autobiography, take 2
Okay, the first cover I showed has since been revised.
Click here for the real one (it's a pop-up)
Posted by LYT at 10:18 PM | Comments (5)
Okay, kids, let's shake hands and make up
Matt Welch and Cathy Seipp have been throwing down in each other's comments sections over Ann Coulter. They're friends, but you might not know it to read the back-and-forth.
After some discusssion of Ann's writing as compared to another conservative book Cathy dislikes because it's not as good as Ann's "far smarter" book SLANDER: LIBERAL LIES ABOUT THE AMERICAN RIGHT, Matt wrote:
"If success = quality, Michael Moore beats Miss Twiggy by a country hamhock. There are other measures of talent, I've heard.
But anyway, yeah, Ann's just hilarious! Like this recent column, where she says:
'the savages have declared war, and it's far preferable to fight them in the streets of Baghdad than in the streets of New York (where the residents would immediately surrender).'
That's so funny! Especially because New York was actually attacked by terrorists, and 3,000 people were incinerated and crushed to death! And many more would have died, if it weren't for the courage of the same New Yorkers she's now calling a bunch of wusses, on account of they don't vote Republican! Ha ha ha, and also ha ha ha!
Cathy responded:
"Matt, Michael Moore is indeed a smart and skilled filmmaker, although dishonest. Ann Coulter is a smart and skilled pundit, although a flamethrower. Moore is handy with a wisecrack, just as Ann Coulter is -- although of course their appeal is limited if you don't agree with their points of view. Can we agree that even people whose ideas offend us may have something going for them?"
Matt replies:
"Cathy, you of all people should be at least faintly aware that among my circle of good friends, and list of favorite writers, are conservatives with whom I disagree strongly about many things.
Just because I think Coulter and Eric Alterman are awful, and that your girlfriend David Horowitz is a lunatic and an embarrassment, doesn't mean I don't "agree that even people whose ideas offend us may have something going for them." I like Mike Davis, even though he's a cranky & inaccurate Marxist; I like Mark Steyn, even though he might even be to the right of you & Tim Blair.
Thing is, it neither "pains me" to disagree with someone whose politics are in the ballpark of mine, nor does it hurt to slam my political polar opposites -- bad writers & thinkers are bad writers & thinkers, period. About which Good People, obviously, will continue to disagree, but for reasons which don't automatically have to do with personal political beliefs."
Matt then posts on that same Coulter column on his own site:
"I really really hope that when that awful woman croaks, God lets Father Mychal Judge give St. Peter the day off."
To which Cathy comments:
"She is rather like a professional wrestler, in that she gets some people all worked up for reasons that are beyond me."
back to Matt:
"Cathy -- Remember how people got worked up when David Ehrenstein made that hypothetical comment on your site about you not caring if Maia was killed by terrorists or something? Now, imagine that instead of a hypothetical, your city *had* been attacked by terrorists, pulverizing the two tallest buildings in town, killing more than 3,000 people, wrecking the lives of thousands more. Imagine, too, that your fellow citizens had shown remarkable, life-saving bravery during that unprecedented attack.
Then along comes a flippant little "flamethrower," calling your entire city a bunch of "appeasers." Gee, why would anyone get "worked up" by that?
I know it "pains you" to find fault with people on your political side, but you might not want to assume that the people who don't appreciate Ann Coulter are knee-jerk anti-conservatives who can't take a joke."
Cathy doesn't back down:
"Matt, actually NY is no more your city than my city -- although it is, as it happens, Ann Coulter's city. So I suppose if you subscribe to the notion that personal proximity gives one extra moral authority (or at least understanding), then maybe she deserves as much extra slack as, say, Cindy Sheehan. (Although, like Sheehan, no immunity from criticism.) And maybe Ann Coulter's opinions about what happened in NY carry more weight than yours and mine -- because she happens to live there. I personally do not think this, but some people do, and your example seems to suggest you sympathize with that point of view. Or were you not trying to suggest that?
9/11 did, of course, happen to our country (if not our city), where we are all free to be offended by whatever we please, and interpret the terrorist attacks of 9/11 however we please. So certainly you're free to be offended by Ann Coulter. But it does seem a little overheated.
Obviously, calling all of NY "appeasers" is ridiculous. But, to address your example here, which I wish you hadn't brought up because David E. is actually not as awful and self-defeating as his worst moments on my blog, I fail to see how a political comment aimed at no one in particular by nutty Ann is comparable to a personal comment aimed at one child in particular by nutty David. Which is why people on his side pointed out he was being distasteful and stupid. And they were right.
Also, I notice that you said in the comments of another post here that you are very fond of Luke Ford, despite everything. By "despite everything" I presume you mean (at least partially) Luke's politics, which I think are actually to the right of Ann Coulter's, if that's possible.
Therefore is it really so infuriating to even consider the possibility that Ann Coulter, like Luke, might also be an actual person with friends who are fond of her, despite everything? Who would not be happy when she "croaks"?
This lashing out by imagining various people's deaths on blogs is, I guess, an effective way to make clear that one is very angry. But I'd say that's all it does, other than undermining any point the angry person hopes to make."
but Matt has the last word...so far:
"Cathy -- I found David's comment to be both uncharacteristic *and* way out of line, personally. But unlike you, I find the notion of Collective Guilt much worse than most individual name-calling. Which is why, I suppose, you enjoy the company of Collective Guilt assholes like Horowitz, and are more annoyed by your commenter "Soupy" than that dunderhead "Mark" creature.
As for Luke Ford, I am reminded that when you "assume" you make an "ass" out of "u" and "me." If you think what makes Luke special is his conservative politics, then ... well I don't know what. My "despite everything," which was a bit of an in-joke for his benefit, has much more to do with his odd personal & reportorial habits, many of which *have* calmed down over the years. (For instance, he no longer automatically types up a "transcript" of his memory from every phone conversation with my wife.)
Therefore is it really so infuriating to even consider the possibility that Ann Coulter, like Luke, might also be an actual person with friends who are fond of her, despite everything?
Not at all. I find her writing infuriating, to the extent I ever pay attention to it, which is (thankfully) extremely rare.
As for imagining her death, I don't recally publicly *wishing* the poor lassie expire any time soon, because in fact I hope she lives just as long as I do, so that there will be a public example of what I hope never to be. I was more imagining Mychal Judge when I read her execrable little bullshit, and so dreamed up a St. Peter's scenario. Heaven's in no hurry, and neither am I....
As for undermining my point, I am more than confident that you are unpersuadable about the awfulness of Coulter & Horowitz, so I'm not really worried about by bedside manner regarding a woman who has accused me, and half your friends, of "treason."
Posted by LYT at 6:27 PM | Comments (9)
Hey, look, ReJeKt's autobiography is available now!
Picture of the cover HERE
Posted by LYT at 1:22 PM | Comments (1)
August 28, 2005
Wrestling totem pole
My old WWF Hasbro and WCW Galoob figures live on as part of the decor of Cuz's Uptown BBQ in Virginia:
Posted by LYT at 9:54 PM | Comments (10)
Answering the rightwing nutjob criticisms of Hollywood (part two in an ongoing series)
Question 2: Why don't any Hollywood films reflect conservative values?
Oh, but many of them do.
Not Michael Moore's films, not Oliver Stone's films...but how about practically every major action film ever made?
Let's look at the standard formula. This doesn't apply to every action film, but it does sum up a damn good percentage:
Rugged individualist heterosexual hero (read: Libertarian) is either retired or kicked off the police/military, because he's fed up with killing (liberal revisionist!) or because he ruffled too many feathers (usually by doing the right thing the wrong way, violating some politically-correct sensibilities).
Circumstances conspire to call him back into action, even though the bureaucracy (Big Government) doesn't like it or at the very least won't admit they like it. Either by himself or with the aid of similar rugged individualists, the hero kicks some ass, ignoring such liberal concerns as police brutality and gun control. Occasionally he even captures the bad guy, but greedy trial lawyers or corrupt special interests conspire to free the villain again.
Finally, the hero tracks down the bad guy, and kills him using a gun (pro-death penalty, pro-second amendment).
Is it any coincidence that most of the major action hero stars -- Willis, Eastwood, Schwarzenegger, Costner -- are politically right-of-center?
I know Christian fundies get upset by "excessive" violence and profanity in these films. But I guarantee you that hardcore liberal feminists are, as a rule, waaay more upset by such things (the fundies don't mind R-rated movies about Jesus being beaten to death, for instance, but feminists don't tend to enjoy R-rated movies about rapists who get beaten to death). My mom was one, so believe me, I know.
Posted by LYT at 4:11 PM | Comments (8)
Con-Junction
I really did want to go to Sunset Junction this year. Instead, it's a work weekend. Hit three movies today, all of very different genres and in very different parts of town, and will spend tomorrow writing about them.
Meanwhile, I really had quite a bit of fun watching FOUR BROTHERS. I think there's more money to be made from remaking westerns in an urban gangster milieu.
And if any of you remember my homeles friend Jack, he left town yesterday, so we had a small send-off party for him Friday night.
There's more I'd like to talk to you about, but a nondisclosure agreement prevents me from doing so for now.
Posted by LYT at 12:52 AM | Comments (1)
August 26, 2005
Answering the rightwing nutjob criticisms of Hollywood (part one in an ongoing series)
With the Liberty Film Festival coming around again (I'm not going - once was enough), it's a sure bet that many of the same tired canards are going to be trotted out again. Despite the fact that most of the people asking don't deserve this level of respect, I'm actually going to try to answer them as honestly as I can without resorting to talking points.
Question 1: If Hollywood isn't just made up of commie-libs, why is it that there are lots of movies about how bad Hitler was, but almost none about how bad Stalin was?
Answer: The answer's actually a lot more obvious than any question of political bias.
If you make a movie in which Hitler is the villain, chances are it takes place during World War II, a war in which we fought him and he lost. Thus, Hitler movies tend to be in the financially viable genre of "war movie," with a clearly defined villain who is defeated at the end.
If you make a movie about Stalin that's set during World War II, you face the uncomfortable issue that he was on our side. If you set it any other time, what you get is a drama about people suffering, with a villain who is not defeated. Such movies work as Oscar-bait, but don't tend to make as much money.
But there are big-studio Oscar-bait movies about bad Nazis like SCHINDLER'S LIST, right, so why not a Stalin equivalent? Probably because those who have the clout to get such things done, like Steven Spielberg, feel more connected to the suffering of the Jewish people than the Russians. There aren't any major Russian executives in Hollywood that I'm aware of. And the Holocaust is given special status as a genocide by society at large, not just leftists, because it specifically targeted a minority for extermination, whereas Stalin's gulags were a bit more indiscriminate. Similar logic is used in making hate-crime laws, which I'm not saying I agree with. Dead is dead.
So what about documentaries? They aren't made for profit so much, and there are way more about the Holocaust than the gulags. I think the answer here is that many Holocaust survivors made it to the U.S., where film equipment is easier to come by (most Holocaust docs are made by people who had family members or ancestors in the camps). Stalin survivors are mostly in Russia, where the film industry is playing catch-up. They may have lots of Stalin docs over there that we've never seen.
A better question is that if Hollywood is so politically-correct, why aren't there more movies about African genocides than there are about the Holocaust?
The answer's the same: More Holocaust survivors and their kin are here in the U.S.
Posted by LYT at 11:43 AM | Comments (3)
August 25, 2005
Review of the week
My take on Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance
(N.B. according to Best Buy, the Oldboy DVD has been delayed by two weeks. I don't know if that's nationwide or just at Best Buy.)
Posted by LYT at 5:25 PM | Comments (1)
Who's who
I've started a new photo gallery here on the site featuring many of the people I write about the most frequently. It's by no means complete right now, but it's a start. Don't take offense if you're not on it yet.
Among other things, you can now see what ReJeKt looks like.
(Note: Some of the pics are HUGE)
Posted by LYT at 2:13 AM | Comments (10)
August 24, 2005
Ann Coulter compares terrorists to Star Trek fans
No sense getting too riled up about this. (a), it's Ann Coulter, and (b), I'm pretty sure this is what passes for a "joke." In the same column, she says that New Yorkers would instantly surrender if another terrorist attack occurred. This from a woman so tough that she has people who ask difficult questions at her public appearances escorted out by security.
But to correct her for a moment -- in the actual Las Vegas, Star Trek is the theme of a popular casino at the Hilton.
And now a question...if you're an ultra-rightie, isn't it a good thing not to get laid? Shouldn't you be encouraging Sci-fi fandom if you really think it means people who don't have sex? I mean, who needs abstinence-only pledges -- I certainly don't.
Posted by LYT at 12:27 PM | Comments (4)
Self-esteem gone too far
Amy Alkon's gonna have a field day with this one. A woman filed a complaint against the state about her doctor, because he told her she needed to lose weight.
Just wait. Somewhere, somehow, there will be someone diagnosed with a terminal disease who miraculously heals by unconventional methods. Then that person will sue the original doctor for pain and suffering (not my movie).
Posted by LYT at 12:09 PM | Comments (2)
Eve of Projection
THE LAST EVE, a movie I briefly appear in (I think, still) as a flamingly gay TV reporter is set to debut at the NY Film and Video Festival here in L.A.
I know, I know -- New York? L.A.? What's the deal? The deal is that it's an annual event here in L.A. at the Laemmle Fairfax, and it's basically a festival with high entry fees that accepts anything you submit. Lucky and Chris' ALL CHEERLEADERS DIE played there some years back, in what may have been its only L.A. public showing.
THE LAST EVE screens Thursday, Sept. 29, at 8 p.m. Buy advance tickets HERE.
I haven't seen it yet myself. Douglas Dunning and Edwin Santos (a.k.a. regular commenter "ED 209") are in it, among others.
Posted by LYT at 12:10 AM | Comments (4)
August 23, 2005
Surprise! No WOODS next month after all
I know you'll be shocked to hear...I spoke to a Screen Gems publicist who confirms that the date is once again "TBD."
Trust me, it's more frustrating to those involved, than to me, or you, the potential fans -- but I do think it will eventually come out.
Posted by LYT at 4:16 PM | Comments (2)
August 22, 2005
???
There's a debate going on on the Message Board right now over whether or not I suck.
I would maintain, C.S. Lewis style, that I'm either a good writer or a great con-man, since people pay me to write every week.
But if you'd like to weigh in, join the debate. (you don't have to register to post)
Posted by LYT at 10:50 PM | Comments (6)
Virgin Cocktail
It has been suggested that the movie THE 40 YEAR-OLD VIRGIN might hit too close to home. But I'm not sure that it does as much as it ought to.
The deck is stacked against this movie virgin, Andy (Steve Carrell). He's a band geek, a nerd, a video-gamer, a wuss, a neat-freak, never learned to drive, and an action figure collector. On this last detail, there's some inconsistency -- he acts like a mint-in-package kinda guy, making a point of the fact that he deliberately kept his childhood Mego Iron Man unopened, but he also has several opened figures on display. One can be into both, of course, but later in the story it's presented as a huge deal when he lets Catherine Keener's kids open some of his figures, one of which is a not-particularly valuable Toy Biz Spider-Man variant. (Am I overthinking this much?)
Nor, if I may harp on this point just a tad longer, is there much logic to WHAT he collects. Most toy collectors are not indiscriminate. The Universal Monster dolls make sense because this is a Universal film, as we are constantly reminded with incessant footage from, and gratuitous references to, other Universal films. But then he has superhero Megos, Spawn figures, a WWE Classic Ric Flair (but no other wrestling figures nor evidence of any wrestling fandom), one or two robots, and classic Six Million Dollar Man dolls.
Hey, whaddaya want me to say? If this were a sports movie, sports fans would be dissecting the reality of the thing. This is my world, even if I did pay to lose my virginity at 26 rather than wait forever like Andy does.
Granted, it's a broad comedy. But I actually relate slightly better to Andy's bearded and tattooed friend who talks about horse-fucking.
Andy doesn't even WANT casual sex. He's had opportunities and blown them. His friends try to help him get laid (which none of you reading this has ever done for me, save Brian).
So when love interest Catherine Keener suggests holding off on sex, he agrees because he's intimdated. Then they end up having an argument where (thank you, Judd Apatow) he lashes out at her for saying that she's helping him "grow up" by selling off his toys on eBay. This is a detail that's right on, the idea that somehow this interest is not acceptable for a grown man, and that "growing up" must somehow mean sacrificing your key characteristics to prove your love. I think Apatow's off-base mocking video games in the same way, though -- those are culturally acceptable now, in large part I think because hip-hop stars openly enjoy them.
Another nice detail -- the way non-stop sexual imagery in advertisements taunts Andy. And the scene where he manages to successfully flirt by ensuring that everything he says is a question works well, because if there's one piece of advice I never stop getting from my mom, it's "ASK QUESTIONS." That, and "eat your vegetables! buy a vaccuum cleaner! No, that's the wrong KIND of vacuum cleaner!"
The interesting thing to me is the way Andy's vrigintiy is presented as entirely being because of him. Movies and TV shows mostly feature this assumption that anyone can go out in any given night, pick someone up, and get laid. I have never found this to be the case in real life. All the women in the movie are totally nice -- none are shallow, superficial bitches or cock-teasing game players. Before you ask, I am not even close to insinuatiing that every woman I meet fits those criteria, but it only takes one or two to mess with your perceptions, and my version of a virginity movie would include some casual cruelty from the female end, rather than just Willing Drunk Chick, Scary Kinky Chick, Hooker, and Soul Mate.
I can speak to the speed-dating scene -- in real life I have not found those to resemble the one in the movie at all. I only wish they were as diverse, and featured participants as willing.
Anyway, a movie that ends in a musical number can't be expected to reflect reality exactly (though I could have wished for a funnier musical number). I found the movie mostly enjoyable, though a woman on her wedding night would GET NAKED for sex, Catherine! It really isn't as raunchy as you might think -- the final message seems to be that saving sex for marriage is desirable, even ideal. Apparently Carrell in real life is a devout Catholic.
It's time to hit the dating sites again.
Posted by LYT at 7:56 PM | Comments (13)
August 20, 2005
Casting news
I'm pleased to announce the addition of Christo Dimassis to the cast of PAIN AND SUFFERING. He will be playing the small but pivotal role of...
Jesus Christ. Jesus CHRIST. JESUS CHRIST!
thank you.
Christo appears in MAD COWGIRL as an unnamed Catholic priest who succumbs to temptations. He has a quiet intensity that makes him well-suited for spiritual characters, and I think he'll be a good Jesus.
In case my religious readers may be wondering, the film does not depict Jesus in a negative way -- He merely appears to correct those who falsely invoke His name.
There is some blasphemy in the movie, though, as the phrase "Jesus Christ" is not always used to refer strictly to the savior.
Previously announced cast members include LYT as "The Actor" and Douglas Dunning as "The Hero." Cinematography is by James Avallone and Spike Hasegawa; the movie is co-written and co-directed by Gregory Hatanaka and LYT.
Posted by LYT at 11:27 AM | Comments (5)
August 19, 2005
RED EYE review
(The published review of this was written hastily before vacation, and I had more to say when I thought about it later, so herewith, a website-exclusive expanded version):
STRANGERS ON A PLANE
Red Eye may not seem, at first glance, to be your typical Wes Craven movie. It’s not really horror, there are no marketable monsters, and unlike Cursed, Scream 3, and other recent Craven duds, it’s actually an enjoyable time at the movies.
However, heroine Lisa Reisert (Rachel McAdams) is very much in the mold of the traditional “Craven girl.” Like Sidney (Neve Campbell) in the Scream saga, or Nancy (Heather Langenkamp) in the Elm Street movies, Lisa has dark hair, big teeth, no time for a boyfriend, the heretofore unknown ability to kick ass when the situation calls for it, and a dangerously intelligent adversary who nonetheless manages to be arrogant enough to underestimate his prey. It probably doesn’t hurt that the script comes from Carl Ellsworth, a former writer for Buffy, Xena, and Cleopatra 2525.
Craven girls are frequently virgins, primarily so that the inevitably male adversary represents an unspoken sexual threat as well as a physical one. In Scream, Sidney won’t put out, and her boyfriend becomes the killer in no small part due to that frustration. Joshua Jackson, the slightly dangerous love interest in Cursed, similarly turned out to be the main werewolf. Elm Street Nancy’s boyfriend was ineffectual and didn’t get any, but a much more twisted male ended up coming to her every night, and sticking his tongue through the phone while saying “I’m your boyfriend NOW, Nancy!”
Lisa may or may not be chaste, but there’s no man in the picture for her, and she’s certainly a workaholic, arranging things to a tee over a cell phone at the hotel she manages. But she’s nice to customer service people, and when she gets in an argument with a rude fellow traveler at the airport, another passenger by the name of Jackson (Cillian Murphy) comes in on her side. Later, she joins Jack for a drink at the bar, making the romance/menace connection of this Craven girl a little more obvious.
Jackson’s full name is “Jackson Rippner,” a joke so obvious it’s deliberately mentioned, as well as a piece of foreshadowing for the benefit of those very few souls who didn’t see Murphy play the Scarecrow in Batman Begins, yet are in the audience for this movie. Soon enough, Jackson and Lisa are sitting side by side on the plane, when that coolness and those icy good looks of his turn from charming to menacing. He reveals that their meeting was no coincidence; that her father (Brian Cox) is under surveillance by an associate ready to shoot him at a moment’s notice, and that in order to prevent this, she must call her hotel and change the reservation for the Deputy Secretary of Homeland Security (Jack Scalia) and his family from his usual suite to another room, where, presumably, an assassination will be arranged.
Craven looks to have been studying his Alfred Hitchcock movies. It is much to the credit of all involved with Red Eye that the bulk of the movie is taut, compelling, and simply consists of two people talking to each other. None of Lisa’s stalling tactics seem excessively unbelievable, and in fact, most of them don’t work. Thankfully, this is not one of those movies where the characters go into the luggage hold and the cockpit and all those other nooks and crannies of the plane; these passengers are as confined as you or I would be in similar circumstances.
Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for what happens when the plane lands. Don’t worry, no spoiling details here -- the trailer seems to have taken care of that -- but the movie becomes more of a traditional actioner at that point, with Lisa and Jackson eventually doing things that regular humans cannot do. The movie’s still fun, but a different kind of fun. At 85 minutes, it’s also too short to really give you time to worry about nitpicks until several hours afterward.
Newcomer Jayma Mays makes an auspicious debut in the role of Cynthia, the assistant manager on the other end of Lisa’s many phone calls. Essentially the comic relief in the movie, she must balance life-or-death situations with more mundane but equally intimidating run-ins with rude patrons capable of getting her fired. It’s a role that could easily turn into a caricature, but Mays keeps it human and funny.
It’s interesting that Murphy came to fame as a horror movie hero (28 Days Later) yet seems to be falling into creepy villainy over here. Maybe it’s because his looks aren’t conventional enough to fit the bland American “good-looking” mold, or that his way of speaking, which comes about as a result of trying to conceal his natural Irish accent, is too mannered. McAdams, on the other hand, has shown she can do pretty much anything, having now excelled in suspense/action (this movie), comedy (Mean Girls) and romance (The Notebook). If she wants an acting challenge from here on out, the only thing that might trip her up is trying to play an ugly person.
Posted by LYT at 12:52 PM | Comments (3)
August 18, 2005
I just checked the MPAA's official website...
Woods, The (2004)
Sony Pictures Releasing
Rated R for horror violence and language, including sexual references.
Previously rated (R) in (2004).
I suppose it's possible this could change, but if it's really coming out in less than a month, I doubt it.
I'm trying to confirm independently whether or not the Screen Gems release version is any different from the "final" MGM version I saw months ago. Will let you know when I find out anything.
Posted by LYT at 12:01 PM | Comments (4)
Official movie site, sorta
Pain and Suffering now has a Myspace page. And as you'll notice on imdb, Douglas Dunning has now officially signed on as a cast member.
Since we're still looking for an actress, please add us to your myspace friends so we can spread the word.
Toplessness and fake bumping and grinding is required (with me, not Douglas), but there is no making out or kissing involved.
Posted by LYT at 11:01 AM | Comments (2)
Silence isn't always golden
Lauren Birkell, whose talents will finally be on display for the world in THE WOODS come Sept. 16 (and by "talents" I mean actual talents, not breasts this time), writes in to say that the official website for the Dr. Caligari remake starring her good self is now up.
(Lauren was offered the role of the nun who sodomizes me in MAD COWGIRL, but turned it down. Can't imagine why.)
Posted by LYT at 10:47 AM | Comments (2)
August 17, 2005
Hail to the King, Baby
Happy Real Birthday to webmaster Matt King!
A sample of your favorite beverage is on the way...
Posted by LYT at 7:51 AM | Comments (6)
August 16, 2005
My best shot at meeting porn stars on Myspace just evaporated
Luke Ford writes:
"Until two weeks ago, I added everybody who wanted to be my friend. Then Cathy's 16-year old daughter Maia found my profile and asked me to add her as a friend. I did so.
Maia pointed out my profile to Cathy who then told me the plain truth about most of my MySpace "friends."
After reflecting on that for a week, I purged my friends list of people connected to unsavory things (ok, I left on Luke Y Thompson but deleted more than ten hedonists).
Now, as I go about my life, I meet nice people who do things I don't have a problem writing about as a journalist to his subject, but who I don't want to be associated with as MySpace friends. I don't want people in my sacred life surfing online on to my acquaintances whose lives are publicly unholy."
I need more connections to unsavory things. Who's gonna help me now?
Posted by LYT at 11:56 AM | Comments (7)
Some Lucky McKee news from Fangoria.com
First, the casting of his Masters of Horror episode SICK GIRL (I had hoped I was gonna break this, but they beat me to it.):
ANGELA BETTIS and ERIN BROWN (The Lost)
Based on what I know of the story and the ladies involved, I think it's perfectly tailored to the two of them.
Second, the "limited release" cities for THE WOODS (as I understand it, however, this may not be the final word):
• New York
• LA
• Chicago
• Detroit
• Houston
• Dallas
• San Diego
• Phoenix
• Orlando
• Denver
No Bay Area? That's disappointing. But this is way better than MAY, anyway, and both LA and NY guarantee it some high-profile reviews.
I won't add any more comment for now.
Posted by LYT at 10:06 AM | Comments (2)
Darth Mall
Still open call for a ride from LAX tomorrow. Please don't post a reply to the last one if you're not available -- only if you are or might be. Note: If you decide on Wednesday morning that you can, that'll be TOO LATE.
Anyway, there's only so many times one can go to teh same Wal-Mart, Kmart, and Roses here in Richlands, VA, so yesterday me and Arthur went to Bluefield, WV, to go to a different Wal-Mart, Kmart, etc.
I don't have photos to show you yet, but I will.
The Mercer Mall in Bluefield was the desired destination of many a trip in my childhood summers. Many of the stores there have closed down -- Hills was replaced by Ames and then by Carolina Pottery. This hasn't dampened the enthusiasm of the mall owners, who have erected a Hollywood-sign style logo on the hill above.
Lunched at Chick-Fil-A in the mall. Arthur had a dubious looking cookie stuffed with marshmallow paste.
The first stop was a kiosk that sold many types of redneck/Confederate/right-wing shirts, plus one design for the band Incubus that features a baby's head amidst a mass of guns. I'm thinking the proprietors don't get that it's ironic. Numerous Confederate designs included such slogans as "Git-R-Done", "These colors don't run" (for the Southern flag, not US), "Southern by the grace of God", etc.
One design featured images of a newspaper, handgun, box of bullets with Osama Bin Laden's face on, and price tags for all of them, concluding "Killing your first terrorist: Priceless!"
It was on a white shirt, though. I bought one that said "Southern Heritage" and depicts a whiskey bottle with the Confederate flag on it, implying, essentially, that all Southerners are drunks.
At Spencer gifts I did buy a white T-shirt, because it was on sale and because it depicted Bush and Cheney as though they were in a recent popular comedy, under the slogan "Meet the Fuckers." Since everyone around here is politically either Republican or apathetic, I guess that's why it was on clearance.
Other shirts sold there could probably get you arrested in this neck of the woods, including one that read "Put your nuts in my mouth" and a cap demanding that you "Put your lipstick on my dipstick."
We went into a Christian store, but I think the proprietor immediately had us pegged as tourists, and I suspect she would not have sold us Jesus T-shirts. The only one I would have considered was one that said "JesUSAves." Others included parodies of things like NASCAR, Nintendo (a picture of Mario getting infinite lives for accepting Jesus), and Abercrombie and Fitch ("Abreadcrumb & Fish"). Many books by Dr. James Dobson were in stock.
K-B toys had some of the Clonetrooper variants I hadn't yet found, as well as Mutilated Anakin from the final duel.
At Wal-Mart, which was once the biggest Wal-Mart on the east coast, I scored a 10" figure of Jessica Alba from Fantastic Four. They sell 26"-tall figures of the Thing, but not Alba, alas. Also got the Beavis and Butt-Head movie for $7.50.
Posted by LYT at 9:37 AM | Comments (1)
August 15, 2005
Seriously, Dudes, Where's My Car?
A cab home from the airport will cost me FORTY DOLLARS or thereabouts.
I'll give a fat twenty to anyone who'll pick me up and drive me home.
Wednesday night, 8:30 p.m.
Please?
Posted by LYT at 3:30 PM | Comments (9)
August 13, 2005
Red State Report
You may have noticed a bunch of new photos on my buzznet site. When I get back to a familiar computer, I'll play around with them a bit more and add explanations.
Climate is nice here -- just the right amount of humidity, and high temperatures. My uncle Mike, however, is an AC junkie, so it's always super-cold in the house.
Lots of people down here in SW Virginia resemble either Jim Varney or Larry the Cable Guy. There are several pretty young women, but the general rule seems to be that once they get married, a super-sizing process begins. Then once they retire, they figure out it's time to lose the weight or die. That's just a theory, anyway.
My half-Chinese cousins Ming and Arthur are both in from college -- Ming's been teaching English to the commies in mainland China, while Arthur, still uncertain of his destiny, has grown some championship sideburns.
There doesn't seem to be anywhere much to just "hang out" -- the only place in town with a full liquor license is a "Mexican" restaurant called El Mariachi (N.B. there are no Mexicans, or any other non-whites as far as I can tell, in this county). My uncle's place, Cuz's Uptown BBQ, is the only other place that has beer and wine. Liquor is only sold at state-run ABC stores, but the upside to that is it's cheap.
As always, Cuz cuisine is spectacular. The crab cakes here are about the only ones I've ever ahd that focus on the crab at the expense of the cake, rather than vice versa. Had some rare filet last night that was basically beef sushi -- thin slices of raw beef seared and cajun-blackened on the outside. Oh my God.
The crab nachos are always a favorite, of course...and now they're doing a creme brulee that's like a diabetic coma in a small bowl. As if the endless Mello Yellos a day weren't getting me wired enough.
(note to Brian -- no Vault here)
Anyway, if you see some wild-looking collectible or architecture in my photoblog, chances are it's part of Cuz's. Mike might vehemently deny this, but he's the only relative of mine with an analagous sense of style to my own. I expected to get killed for my hair, but people seem to like it. Maybe they've been conditioned to expect the unusual from this family. I could probably find someone to sleep with if I stayed here a month or so. My aunt Betsy wants me to move back, suggesting I work at the local paper. I told her I didn't think there was much of a film industry here. She responded, "Oh, is that what you want to do?"
My dad has a house up on a hillside by the woods here -- if I can figure out a simple movie idea, I could shoot something. Some day.
Went shopping for crazy Jesus T-shirts yesterday, but none of the ones I found were quite crazy enough. Good hunting camo pants are in abundance, though, and I purchased my very own Larry the Cable Guy tank top which reads "the right to bare arms." The Blue Collar Comedy guys are huge out here, judging by available merchandise. I just wish their TV show were better.
Wal-Mart has some huge-ass 3-foot tall Batman and Thing action figures that are quit impressive, and larger than my luggage.
Okay, so, this worked once before...Can anyone pick me up from L.A. airport Wednesday night? I'm arriving at 8:30 p.m. I will be happy to buy you a fast-food meal on the way home in payment.
Posted by LYT at 8:58 AM | Comments (6)
August 12, 2005
8-13
Happy birthday to Jaye, who undoubtedly is going to clain that she's doing nothing today, only to be invariably taken out by some friends, struggling all the way, then finally admitting she really enjoyed it after all.
I'd be one of 'em if I wuz in town.
Posted by LYT at 10:40 PM | Comments (2)
RIP Matthew McGrory
Best known as the Giant in Big Fish, and "Tiny" in The Devil's Rejects.
At least he got to see his own action figure in stores before he died. He was 32.
Posted by LYT at 2:25 PM | Comments (1)
New WOODS rumored release date (UPDATED 5:15 pm EST)
Keep in mind I have not heard anything about this on my end. But if true, it at least indicates a release of some kind.
UPDATE: the same tipster pointed me to this Fangoria article that corroborates the Sept. 16th release date. Fango has never printed false stuff about The Woods before...but do bear in mind I have still not heard this info from anyone directly or indirectly involved.
Posted by LYT at 10:33 AM | Comments (0)
August 11, 2005
Not a review, but written by me also...
An article on movie-based videogames, in this week's CityBeat.
Posted by LYT at 11:47 AM | Comments (2)
Reviews
Not much to blog about in Virginia as yet. But here's a lot of new writings:
""I always cannot understand why girls don't wanna be with me for a long time," says Timothy Treadwell, subject of the documentary Grizzly Man. "I have really a nice personality -- I'm fun, I'm very very good in the ... umm, well, you're not supposed to say that when you're a guy, but I know I am, they know I am, and I don't fight with them, I'm so passive, a bit of a patsy. Is that a turnoff to girls, to be a patsy?"
Depends on the girl, Tim. But let's analyze some other possibilities. You sound effeminate, you're scarily hyper sometimes, and -- oh yeah -- you spend your free time hanging out in the wild with bears."
The rest here
""The most daring rescue mission of our time is a story that has never been told," boasts the poster for The Great Raid. The credits of the film, however, reveal that it's based on not one, but two books about the 6th Ranger Battalion, which ventured thirty miles into enemy territory to free more than five hundred men from a Japanese POW camp in 1945. While it's true that a lot of people don't read books anymore, it nonetheless appears that Miramax's definition of "never" is about as fluid as Bill Clinton's definition of "is." "
read the rest
"Those who loved such catchphrases as "he-whore" in the first film will probably start using such newly coined terms as "prosti-dude," "twatsicle," "Sherlock Ho," and "breastices." Familiar with actual odd sex terms like "Dirty Sanchez"? This movie has fun with that type of nomenclature, introducing the "Turkish Snow-cone," "Portuguese Breakfast," "Sneaky Castro," and "Chili Rainbow."
oh yeah, there's more
"Nothing wrong with porn, of course. If it brings new faces to the art-house theater, more power to it. Just keep an eye on the raincoat crowd."
You know you want to read more...
Posted by LYT at 11:28 AM | Comments (1)
August 8, 2005
System of a Downtime
Seems like there's a lot of site traffic today, and I'm not sure why. Doesn't seem like anyone new linked me or anything. Probably a bunch of new spammers. We do seem to have been steadily gaining in unique visitors over the past few months, though, which is nice.
I've been busy cranking out reviews -- you'll see four new ones this week and two next week -- so that I get sufficiently prepared financially for my vacation which starts tomorrow. Don't worry, I'm sure I'll still blog from the red states. They have heard of the Internets.
I went to see System of a Down Thursday, the concert all of you were too lame to accompany me to. Got to Long Beach early enough that I found a parking meter, and thus paid only 85 cents for parking. Ate a decent crab cake at Rock Bottom (though I'll get a better one this week), and got in the arena quickly. I had a general admission ticket, and the palce was only half full until System came on.
The opening band, Bad Acid Trip, turned out to be the best band of the night. The lead singer is really skinny and has the goofiest mohawk I've ever seen, but he knows how to work a big stage, which bodes well for their future. The music seems simialr to System, mixing speed metal with folky stuff, but the vocals are more death metal-esque at times. Hard to make out any words.
The only T-shirt I bought was for Bad Acid Trip -- the shirt lures you in with the slogan "fuck bush," but then you see that it features a drawing of a man (not GWB) actually having sex with a thorn bush. Funny.
Mars Volta were next, and probably accounted for most of the women in attendance. I liked the radio hit "The Widow," but it soon became apparent that it's just about the only song of theirs with verses and a chorus, and one of a very few that even have words. Mostly wankery, like Pink Floyd. If you do drugs, you'll love Mars Volta. If not, well, getting drunk doesn't hurt.
For System I got in really close, and enjoyed some pit action. Unlike at some other metal concerts, I was just about the oldest and tallest person there. So at a certain point it occurred to me that I could just push people out of my way if they caved in too close (don't worry, parents -- this is accepted behavior in the pit). I was tall enough that I could breathe cool air when things let up, but eventually I just got too dehydrated and had to back out. It's a trade-off -- beer makes you more fearless but less hydrated.
As fun as it was, I couldn't help but feel that I had expected more from System. They're normally an outspoken band -- why no stage banter at all? (I like hearing rock stars talk to me, even in cliches) They're normally an experimental band -- why did every song sound like thrash metal? Were there any new songs from the fall's upcoming album -- I couldn't tell. The only thing they did different was an acoustic version of the song on Mesmerize that goes "My cock is much bigger than yours!"
Glad I saw them, but even more glad I saw Bad Acid Trip. Must look for their CD now, if there is one.
Saturday was an early birthday party for Matt King, at his sister Guinevere's house, with some out-of-town family in the house. Lotsa food, nice swimming pool, great view -- and of course some good songs were finally coaxed out of the reluctant birthday boy.
As night fell, some of Guinevere's beautiful friends got totally naked in the pool. At first, this was wonderful. After a while, my thoughts turned from "Whoa, hooters!" to "Damn, I can look but I never get to touch." My mind was working in weird ways anyway, giving me a minor panic attack, which hasn't happened in a while. I can sedate that with alcohol, but I didn't want to do that.
I suppose I should take heart. The guys with these girls were not in quantitatively better physical shape than me, nor were they in any sense more "normal" on the surface. But man, I see a woman that perfect physically, and my brain naturally rules things out. However, those that are taken are easier to talk to, which I think is an aspect of me and them.
Can't afford to date online again yet, but when I can, it's getting another shot.
Hey, I wonder if anyone in rural Virginia is susceptible to the line "Hey, I'm from Hollywood and I act in movies!" without having to ask what kind of movies...
Posted by LYT at 5:32 PM | Comments (10)
August 6, 2005
Guns don't kill people...gun dealers do
This is really, really sad, and yet amusing in a social Darwinist kind of way.
Posted by LYT at 2:51 PM | Comments (3)
60th anniversary of Hiroshima today
Moment of silence...
A lot of people talk about the decision to use the atomic bomb as a calculus of lives -- less lives lost this way versus in an invasion. Looked at that way, using it made sense.
But that isn't the only concern. The other question is whether or not there are any tactics that are simply unacceptable to use in war (or any other time).
If you believe torture, bio-warfare, targeting civilians, and deliberate poisoning of the environment are not acceptable tactics, you must conclude that a nuclear weapon is not either, as its effects create all four of those outcomes.
Then again, these calculations get tricky. Hypothetically, let's say you could save the lives of 100 American soldiers...by ass-raping a baby, peeling its skin off, and injecting it with smallpox. Would you do it? How about to save 1,000 American soldiers?
Think on it. I'm not sure I can answer that question.
Just consider that our current president wants a new generation of "low-yield" nukes that will be "acceptable" for use on the battlefield.
Posted by LYT at 12:27 PM | Comments (33)
August 5, 2005
Wow -- weird as hell
Four of the 9-11 hijackers turn up alive
Posted by LYT at 10:29 PM | Comments (0)
Toy company smackdown gets hotter...
You know, I appreciate that other companies out there are trying to one-up McFarlane Toys, but I wish they'd do that by grabbing licenses he couldn't or wouldn't get, or coming up with brand new ideas (like SOTA's Lovecraft line).
Redoing stuff he's already done just fine seems silly. Sure, SOTA's 18" Darkness figure looks cool, but at a price point of $70, I'm fine with the McFarlane one. Same for Pumpkinhead.
It's on a smaller scale, but here's some news that just made me wonder why. One of McFarlane's more imaginative and controversial toys was Death Row Marv from the Sin City comics -- a figure in an electric chair, with a switch you can flip to make him vibrate and his eyes glow, while he laughs and says "Is that the best you can do, you pansies?" I gave my uncle one of these and he loves it.
But Sin City became a movie, and guess what? NECA is remaking Death Row Marv. Here's there announcement of the details, as seen on their Myspace blog:
"We had an idea of how we wanted to do this and how we could top the Marv that came previously and we sure have. Once it is ready to show we will post an mpeg or mov file but let me explain a little. Marv is strapped in his chair ready to die - you flick the swicth and he says line 1 "Get a move on, I haven't got all night" then he gets the juice he vibrates and shakes and inside his head his skull lights up with a blue light as the electricity coarses into his body. The vibration stops and line 2 is heard 'Is that the best you can do, you pansies?'
I am geeked about this toy and I should also mention he comes with 3 interchangeable heads: Regular, Regular w/ skull inside, and Burned for after you juice him.
We are still in development and making adjustments but we hope to ship this around the release of the Deluxe Director's cut DVD by the end of the year."
I'll probably get this one, but honestly, I never felt the original one was lacking in anwy way.
Posted by LYT at 2:27 PM | Comments (5)
August 4, 2005
Reviews
Two long and two short today.
"It's all in a night's work for The Edukators, who turn out to be two bored young German guys (hence the "k" in their name, apparently, even though a totally different word is used in the German language) who rail against the corporatization of the world, shoplift occasionally, and express the rage of the proletariat by making wealthy people feel insecure in their homes. Beats wearing a mass-produced Che T-shirt."
whole thing here
"So how about those suburbs, eh? Boy, they sure do suck. All full of bored teens, inattentive parents, alcoholic housewives, middle-aged guys who suddenly realize they've been wasting their lives, and lots of mind-numbing psychoactive drugs. Also, people who live there are conformist! Why, someone really oughta make a movie about such things. . . . Oh, wait, lots of people already have. And here's another one, for no apparent reason titled The Chumscrubber."
the rest is here
Short New Times review of Secuestro Express:
Secuestro means kidnapping, and in Venezuela, the express version takes place over the course of one night with an easily attainable ransom sum in the tens of thousands. At the heart of this particular kidnapping are a not-especially-likable couple (Mia Maestro and Jean Paul Leroux) who down plenty of drugs and act obnoxiously, though she at least has the redeeming quality of being a regular charity worker. Driving an expensive SUV makes them the target of a brutal secuestro gang (Latin rap stars Carlos Julio Molina, Pedro Perez, and Carlos Madera), who proceed to capture, beat, and terrorize their newest victims for the remainder of the night. There is no promise of catharsis here, and no Bruce Willis type on their trail to save them -- just the young woman's hapless father (Rubén Blades), who must deliver the money or risk never seeing his daughter again. It's a skillfully made film, but not especially fun to watch, and the apparent thesis that poverty justifies such acts doesn't quite wash.
Short Citybeat review of Stealth:
Boy, that Jessica Biel sure is hot. And, boy, those videogames sure are fun. So, if you like Jessica Biel and videogames, go see Stealth, in which Jessica flies around in a computer-generated stealth fighter alongside two other dudes (Josh Lucas and Jamie Foxx) and an autopilot named EDI, who talks and sounds suspiciously like HAL 9000 from 2001. (He’s voiced by Wentworth Miller, best known as the young Anthony Hopkins in The Human Stain.)
If sounding like HAL weren’t enough of a warning signal, how about the fact that the computer immediately downloads every single MP3 ever posted to the Internet and then opts, out of all these tunes, to play nothing but Incubus? So when it gets struck by lightning while in flight – the first of many, many scientific and narrative implausibilities – no one but the characters in the film is surprised that the machine goes rogue and decides to attack Russia. Meanwhile, Biel gets shot down over North Korea, where she pulls a Rambo number and singlehandedly takes on Kim Jong-Il’s entire army while wounded.
Take this stuff seriously, and you’ll suffer. But think of it as an Xbox game that would be way too hard for you to play and defeat in 121 minutes, and you’ll be fine. This was made before the success of Ray, so Foxx is still playing the token funny black man. Sam Shepard takes on the part of Obligatory Military Asshole as the Rumsfeld-like C.O. who can’t possibly imagine that things won’t go perfectly according to his plans. If you sit through the end credits, you’ll get to see the set-up for a potential sequel.
Posted by LYT at 10:43 AM | Comments (1)
Make love to jury duty! Make love to it in its vagina!
I got a postponement.
But just for fun, let's imagine Max (ReJeKt) doing his civic duty;
Jury foreman: Okay, we've heard the evidence. Let's vote -- guilty or not guilty?
Max: Voting's for queers!
Foreman: But this is how the system works.
Max: Screw the system. The system sucks. David Cross said so. Hee hee...ahhh, boy.
Foreman: These are the judge's directions!
Max: That judge is an ass. Who gave him the right to decide anything?
Foreman: He was appointed after a special election.
Max: Election? Elections are for queers!
et cetera...
Posted by LYT at 10:25 AM | Comments (3)
August 3, 2005
Fuck jury service. Fuck it in the ass.
I've been "on call" all this week. What that means is you have to call in every day to see if you're needed tomorrow. This plays hell with any daytime screenings I might have. But it isn't enough to constitute "extreme financial hardship."
They can only do this for five days. And I'm pretty sure I'll get kicked off if I am picked -- last time, it took two days but I did eventually get dismissed.
So of course, the day they call me in is tomorrow.
The same day as System of a Down.
Remember what happened the last time I had System of a Down tickets? Appendicitis.
Fortunately the show is at night and I'll presumably be out by then. But that's a drive to Long Beach from downton. It had to be this day, of all days. I'm also supposed to go on vacation next week, but if I don't get kicked off right away, that could be in jeopardy too.
Part of the problem here, which is a whole other issue, is the way concert tickets go on sale so far in advance that it can be very hard to anticipate what you'll be doing when the show day comes around. I assume they do this to guarantee a sellout, but it would be nice if all concerts went on sale a maximum of 2-3 weeks before the show.
Posted by LYT at 6:19 PM | Comments (8)
Why I won't be going to the Dukes of Hazzard movie
I never watched the TV show. But that's not why.
I can go to the movie for free. But I won't.
I think that as hard as it is to drop the ball on a project with such low expectations, ball has hit floor.
Jessica Simpson. Seriously, what the fuck?
This woman is not attractive to me. And I'm desperate and a hooters man, so how hard does that have to be? But her stupidity and ugly hairdos are not endearing.
Dumb can be endearing. That one chick on WWE Raw who plays like she's really fuckin' dumb is attractive as hell, and I'd hit that, even if she really were that moronic (though it looks like an act).
The line Jessica says in the trailer about getting something caught in her undercarriage is horribly delivered. Jessica has a natural Southern accent, so why is she faking a broader one? When you can't convincingly play a dumb Southern blonde even though you are one, it's time to go.
I like redneck humor. Jim Varney is a genius, and some of the Ernest movies rank among the greatest movies ever in my book. Jeff Foxworthy makes me laugh (Bill Engvall, however, does not). Billy Bob Thornton's direct-to-DVD "Daddy and Them" made me laugh myself into great pain (Justin Stone was present and can testify to that).
But did they give the Dukes movie to Billy Bob, or Varney pal John Cherry to direct? No. They gave it to the Broken Lizard troupe, of Super Troopers and Club Dread "fame." I will not see another Broken Lizard movie unless I am well paid to do so.
Not rednecks. Not funny. Word is a couple of the Super Troopers cops actually appear in the Dukes movie.
This may sound racist, but so be it: A movie about rednecks should not be directed by someone named "Jay Chandrasekhar." Billy Bob Thornton, yes.
It takes someone who's from the South to do a Southern comedy right. Southerners have no problem getting the piss ripped out of them provided they can tell that someone involved is doing it knowingly and not coming off as a superior outsider. The Ernest movies were always a hit in Sylva, NC.
I'd love to see a movie in which Willie Nelson's two nephews raise hell in the Bible belt by driving fast cars and drinking beer. Just not this one.
Posted by LYT at 1:23 AM | Comments (28)
August 1, 2005
Also a birthday shoutout today...
To Dom DeLuise!
Also, to regular reader/commnenter Justin Stone.
Posted by LYT at 2:42 PM | Comments (9)
Burning WOODS news
[UPDATED: As per one of the comments below, please treat this as RUMOR ONLY. My sources were good, but an even better source now says no]
A couple of readers, including composer Jaye Barnes-Luckett, have tipped me off to a story on Bloody Disgusting about the current status of THE WOODS. I have had it independently confirmed.
I had mentioned before that the movie had always seemed like a PG-13, and that the likely R-rating was probably just for language. This is true, and has apparently become a big hold-up issue.
I didn't want to spoil this particular aspect of the film, but it's out there now -- I had mentioned that there was copious use of an f-word, but not the one you'd think...
That f-word is "Firecrotch," a derisive nickname for the red-headed protagonist. It's apparently the big deal right now, because Screen Gems wants a PG-13. There's also dialogue about drinking from someone's douchebag that might have to go in such an event.
Jaye isn't all that bothered by this. I am. "Firecrotch" not only gets the biggest laughs in the movie, but it's also in several key scenes that can't simply be trimmed. Back when the movie seemed like it might need a name change due to Shyamalan's THE VILLAGE, some of us even said the movie should be called "Firecrotch." That word was the most memorable thing about the script the first time I read it, and when I watched the audition tapes, it was one of the key things prospective actresses had to say. The school bully character Samantha is totally neutered if you take that word away.
What's particularly stupid is that it's a word only a teenager would say, yet it's the word that may shut them out.
Oh well, if they do make the stupid mistake of doing this, I guess that allows them to do an "unrated, uncensored" DVD later that promises nudity and gore but just features the word "firecrotch."
What do you think? Take the POLL
[due to being a heavy spam-magnet, this entry is now closed to comments]
Posted by LYT at 2:05 PM | Comments (10)