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November 30, 2005
In case you were wondering...
Sundance has announced the 2006 line-up.
It does not include MAD COWGIRL, ROMAN, or THE LOST. Alas.
Posted by LYT at 5:43 PM | Comments (4)
A Little Mad-ness
Here's an exclusive still of me in MAD COWGIRL. The scene it comes from isn't really there any more -- about a second of blink-and-you'll-miss-it. But this is the outfit and character that I appear in in a couple of other scenes too.
Don't tell me: I should dress normal with normal-looking hair like this all the time, right?
Posted by LYT at 4:57 PM | Comments (5)
Kevin Thomas' leaving confirmed?
Jeffrey Wells writes: "There's concern out there...concern bordering on distress...about what moves L.A. Times' Calendar Entertainment editor Betsy Sharkey and senior editor Lennie Maguire are planning to make in order to cover independent films after Kevin Thomas, who's been reviewing indie releases for the Times for eons, leaves the paper at the end of the year. Sharkey and Maguire didn't pick up, but the understanding is that the Times won't be hiring a "new Kevin" and will have to depend on a Dave Kehr-like pinch-hitter (or perhaps a freelancer) to review the releases from Magnolia, IFC, Strand, Cowboy, et. al. Sounds like a fairly simple solution, but I wonder who the contenders are? How about staying with Kevin on a freelance basis? It seems inconceivable that the Times would ignore certain lower-profile indie releases..that they would decide to selectively review most of the smaller films but not all of them...but that's what some people in the indie-publicist realm are worried about. "
Okay, let's talk about Kevin. He likes to perpetuate this image that he's a big supporter of the indie film, and that he "made" Laemmle theaters, but my big question is how? By giving indie movies good reviews? He gives EVERYTHING good reviews, including ARMAGEDDON, PEARL HARBOR, and virtually every movie Freddie Prinze Jr. has ever done. Go through your DVD collection right now, or go through Blockbuster Video's clearance rack, and pay attention to how many come complete with Kevin Thomas raves.
I wouldn't have a problem with him so much if he weren't such an arrogant, unpleasant human being in person. I have friends who have seen his good side, but I never have. If he were to use his clout to try and extract generosity, from, say, Universal, I'd be sympathetic, but yelling at indie publicists is pretty bad, since they're usually inclined to help you out as much as possible.
It is thanks to Kev that some of the screenings I've attended have had to be restarted. I've heard that he's the one to "thank" for 10 a.m. screenings on the westside. The first time I ever encountered him ,he was upset that a screening of "A Map of the World" was being held at 11 rather than 10.
No publicist will go on record saying a bad word about him...but I know plenty who've talked smack off-the-record. The Times could use someone more diplomatic as their representative.
As for being selective in their reviews, the Times would be insane to do that. The LA Weekly reviews every L.A. release, and so does the Times. That sort of thing is generally the responsibility of an editor, though, not a critic. I seriously doubt that Kevin got to make his own assignments.
UPDATED: Here's a rare pciture of Kevin Thomas looking happy.
If you have had an unpleasant run-in with this man but can't speak on the record, I'd love to hear about it. Comment or email me anonymously.
Posted by LYT at 2:39 AM | Comments (3)
November 29, 2005
The O'Cartman Factor
Bill O'Reilly, saving us from godless shopping malls: "Every company in America should be on its knees thanking Jesus for being born. Without Christmas, most American businesses would be far less profitable"
Sound familiar?
"Jesus was born, and so I get presents/Thank you Jesus, for being born"
It's from the South Park Christmas special's "O Holy Night" as sung by Cartman.
Posted by LYT at 10:51 AM | Comments (3)
Lucky McKee to remake FIEND WITHOUT A FACE? (UPDATED!)
Fangoria says it's so. I'm hoping the man himself will give me more of a confirmation on it -- I can tell you that I've heard him talk about it in the past as a possibility.
Gotta love how Aint-It-Cool totally links to Fangoria on the subject, yet seems to ignore anything this site ever has to say.
UPDATE: Don't believe everything you read on this one. 'Nuff said.
Posted by LYT at 1:15 AM | Comments (8)
November 28, 2005
The Justice Department says yes
Any time I've expressed optimism about the New Times-Village Voice merger at journalist gatherings in the past month, there's always at least one guy trying to shoot me down by saying "Well, there's no way the justice department will allow this after last time, etc., etc."
We'll have no more of that. The deal was just formally approved.
Posted by LYT at 5:40 PM | Comments (0)
Film Threat has the first review of MAD COWGIRL
Warning: It's filled with major SPOILERS, as Phil Hall basically synopsizes the entire story from beginning to end. If you don't want too much revealed, here are some highlights:
"Gregory Hatanaka’s “Mad Cowgirl” represents the most visceral and explosive cinematic mind fuck since Stanley Kubrick tossed Keir Dullea into the psychedelic vortex. Rarely has an experimental film come along like “Mad Cowgirl” that can take reckless and daring risks and earn a payback on its artistic gambling with a tenfold return. Theaters showing “Mad Cowgirl” should install seatbelts, because audiences are in for the ultimate wild ride.
“Mad Cowgirl” focuses on the life of Therese (Sarah Lassez), a Los Angeles health inspector whose job takes her to the meat-packing plants and slaughterhouses. It may not be much of a profession, but it has more stability than her private life: a failed marriage followed by a doomed affair with a hideous TV preacher (Walter Koenig, light years removed from the deck of the USS Enterprise) left her isolated in her small apartment with little more than an intense fascination with televised martial arts movies.
Yet something is not entirely right with Therese. In fact, nothing is entirely right."
-snip-
"A veteran film distributor, Hatanaka has brought a great knowledge of film history to “Mad Cowgirl” and the production has a surplus of unexpected references to movie classics. Some are easy to spot (the celebrated flying guillotine of Hong Kong martial arts fame gets a spin) and some are so subtle that it is easy to miss (a visit to the Catholic Church is framed with a sliver of the song “Eternally” from Chaplin’s “Limelight”).
Furthermore, Hatanaka has taken a huge risk in presenting a movie which takes originality to unexpected horizons. At a time when too many movies are strictly connect-the-dots simply, “Mad Cowgirls” is a kick in the shins and a scream in the ear to the enervated indie audience. Its experimentalism recalls the glory days of Resnais and Godard and the groundbreaking American underground icons who dared to ignore the conventional rules of filmmaking in favor of shocking the senses with non-linear storytelling, disturbing imagery, and a whirl of flashy style that also contains a high degree of intellectual substance. It actually goes beyond filmmaking into film provocation. “Mad Cowgirl” will force its audience to think about, dissect and debate its content. It is the rare film that stimulates the brain cells to wake up and flex. It is a triumph of avant garde cinema and a true work of cinematic art."
If you want the full spoilers, CLICK HERE
Posted by LYT at 9:02 AM | Comments (4)
November 27, 2005
Same shit, different sizes
I just added to the store the first official LYTrules hoodie, as well as an adult-size Reuben 3:16 shirt, since it's the one people seem to ahve the most interest in.
Both can be seen and boughted here
Posted by LYT at 10:18 PM | Comments (1)
Pick-up Line
Just saw WALK THE LINE yesterday, and find it hard to assess as a movie. I'm a Johnny Cash fan, fortunate enough to have seen him and June live shortly after the first American Recordings disc came out. But I haven't read his autobiography, so I can't and won't speak to what is or isn't true about what is shown onscreen.
However, I will say something about what isn't shown, and I may have to actually agree with Dr. Ted Baehr for once. I remember Johnny, I think on vh-1 Storytellers, saying that people always wanted to write about him singing in prisons, but never wanted to write about him singing in church. The media loved his dark side, but didn't care to publicize his born-again Christian side. The movie is the same -- we see him walking nervously to church with June, but we don't ever see him inside, let alone singing. On the other hand, the Folsom Prison concert is both the beginning and the climax of the film.
Mostly, we see Johnny doing bad stuff and getting messed up, with little inkling of the good, except of course the great music. But here the film lets us down too, by having Joaquin sing the songs himself. I understand, as an acting choice, why that was done, but it robs the music of its resonance. A combination of lip-sync and actor -sing worked for Val Kilmer in THE DOORS, and Jamie Foxx in RAY. I think it would have worked better for Joaquin. Reese Witherspoon, however, has a really beautiful singing voice.
The story, which mainly follows Cash from his time in the air force to his marriage to June Carter, is very non-structural. When it ended, I thought "Huh? But the story was just getting going!" Did they live happily ever after? What about Johnny's later disgust with Nashville? Won't we see him as an old guy getting re-introduced to hipsters via Bono and Rick Rubin? I suppose there could be a sequel in the works. Does Johnny ever truly confront his dad (played here by Robert "T-1000" Patrick)? I guess I could read the book, huh.
Apart from the singing, Joaquin gets the Cash mannerisms down pretty well - there were moments I forgot it was Joaquin. Excpet that sometimes his lip scar is covered up with make-up and sometimes it isn't, which gets distracting.
As for Reese...she does make you believe that she could redeem a man. I was terrified of the idea of her playing June, but it totally works. Johnny and June still seemed very much in love when I saw them live as old people, and Reese makes you believe in that.
Still, the movie doesn't necessarily imply that her love alone will be enough to save Johnny, and I have to think the Christian faith had a lot to do with it (Johnny is one fo the few entertainers who, I think, can make Christianity seem cool). Most marriages I know that have actually lasted are ones where both partners have a strong faith of some kind, and therefore believe that marriage serves a higher purpose than just self-gratification.
To put it in Movieguide terminology: Johnny Cash had a biblical worldview. Director James Mangold has a romantic one.
Posted by LYT at 1:38 PM | Comments (3)
A bravura beatdown picture?
L.A. Observed is reporting that L.A. Times film critic Kevin Thomas may be one of the next writers cut loose due to downsizing and face-lifting. Getting rid of the old guys seems to be the mantra -- they cut lefty columist Robert Scheer and righty cartoonist Michael Ramirez primarily, I think, because they wanted younger blood (it was a bad call, IMO; Scheer and Ramirez were just about the only LAT editorial voices anyone ever talked about).
I'll refrain from further comment until it's confirmed, or denied. But most readers already likely know what I think of Mr. Thomas.
Posted by LYT at 1:05 PM | Comments (1)
November 25, 2005
Gay cowboys eatin' beans (and touchin' wieners)
Ang Lee is no fool. I think he gets that BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN, a gay cowboy movie, is a tough sell to regular guys, so he's made a genius move to hook 'em in...
Anne Hathaway and Michelle Williams topless.
Not for very long, it's true, but long enough to get a good eyeful. And Anne's rack is spectacular. Michelle ain't bad either, though I do find it weird that she used to be this blonde bombshell, and seems to have grown into this mousey, modest kind of nerd girl. It may just be her acting choices.
As for those critics who say something like "Brokeback Mountain isn't a gay cowboy movie, it's just a love story, period," I say to you that there is butt-fucking, and there are cowboy hats and horses, and therefore, yes, it IS a gay cowboy movie. That the sentiments may be universal doesn't mean it somehow isn't gay.
It's a period piece that covers around 20 years, and it's mainly a period piece because Ang Lee wants it clearly noted that being gay was not acceptable for these characters. Ennis (Heath Ledger) saw a gay cowboy's murdered corpse when he was 9, and that's why he won't ever fully come out, even though Jack (Jake Gyllenhaal) wants to. I'm not sure the fear of death bit adds anything to the story except giving an artificial "safety zone" for audiences to say, "Oh, but this couldn't happen today, because we love gay dudes." Well, rednecks don't love 'em. And gay rednecks probably still have major denial issues. On the other hand, it may be a choice to avoid having to talk about AIDS, which wasn't an issue in the '60s. It just becomes really odd when, towards the end, Ennis has a 19 year-old daughter, and Ledger looks like he could be her slightly older brother, but certainly not her dad.
The action starts in the '60s, when Ennis and Jack meet while waiting for a job. Soon enough they're both hired to tend Randy Quaid's flock of sheep on Brokeback Mountain. Gradually, they break the ice, and then one night it's so cold outside that Jack lets Ennis sleep in his tent, and hot anal lovin' follows, though Ennis still maintains that he "ain't queer." The job ultimately gets screwed up, and Randy Quaid figures that the problem was too much man-love, so he doesn't hire them back.
Then both of 'em get married and go their separate ways: Jack with rich cowgirl heiress Hathaway, and Ennis to longtime girlfriend Williams. Every so often, the two men meet up for "fishing trips," but Ennis' wife sees them making out on her front steps, and lives with that knowledge for a few more years before getting divorced.
The rest of the movie just builds on all this stuff. It's beautifully shot, and not as slow-moving as you might think, with good attention to characters and their development. I can't say it involved my emotions that much, but it seems to do so for a lot of other people.
Anna Faris is in it, though I did not recognize her at all -- I honestly thought it was Britney Spears playing the over-talkative friend of Hathaway's.
The dynamics of family dysfunction are nicely delivered, especially in a Thanksgiving dinner scene at Jack's house, that you'll know when you see it.
As for the gay sex -- not that explicit, but you know what's happening. And I think both guys show all in non-sexual contexts, though it isn't anything quite as gratuitous as the tit-shots.
For the prejudiced folks that don't like gays, this movie may reaffirm their beliefs that homosexuality ruins families when people follow their sinful desires. For the saner people, it's a case of "Why can't people in love be together?" There is tragedy, of course, but it isn't overdone or over-telegraphed, just laid out plainly like it so often is in real life.
Because it deals with love so matter-of-factly, and because it looks great while doing so, I'd call this a major Oscar shot (and one likely to ramp up the so-called culture war by flipping off the anti gay marriage crowd). I liked it a lot better than I thought, and might have even without the boobage, though of course that helped.
A scenee of them eatin' puddin' would have been a hilarious thing to stick in, though. Too bad Ang Lee probably doesn't watch South Park.
EDIT: I just know that as soon as I link this to Rotten Tomatoes, I'll get all kinds of remarks on how I'm immature or filthy or bigoted or what have you. So let's be clear: I'm saying what is honestly going on my mind regarding this movie, and bluntly telling people the stuff I wanted to know before seeing it. Your mileage may vary. Gay people should marry. Period. HOOTERS!
Posted by LYT at 2:56 PM | Comments (8)
Off, Pat
Mr. Miyagi has died
He was the only man who could ever make a phrase nearly identical to "whacks off" not sound dirty in the least, but rather profound.
Posted by LYT at 1:27 PM | Comments (2)
November 24, 2005
Tanks a Boonch, like (as they say in Ireland)
What are you thankful for?
More so this year than any other, I know what it means to be thankful for my health. And my life. And all the good people who came together when both were on the line.
I'm thankful for the three director friends who've helped me keep a foothold, however slim, in the entertainment business that I love.
I'm thankful that I have pretty good editors who respect my work in the field of writing.
I'm thankful for new friends made this year as well as the old, and for the fact that, as far as I know, I've made no new enemies.
I'm thankful for all the great movies this year.
I'm thankful that New Times' future in L.A. is looking good.
I'm thankful for this site and all the regular commenters on it, most of whom have stepped up their game this year. Unlike Roger Simon, I won't make the claim that my commenters are smarter than me -- because I'm a genius. But you're on the ball, most of you.
Right now, though, I'm mostly thankful that I will shortly be leaving the house and escaping the godawful racket on the roof above me!
Posted by LYT at 10:14 AM | Comments (2)
November 23, 2005
Jaws 3-D
Something really odd happened today.
For about 20 years, I've had a condition called TMJ, wherein my lower jaw likes to frequently pop out of its socket, especially while chewing. Those of you who've ever eaten with me can attest that I take a long time -- this is a major reason why.
This morning, my jaw clicked into place. And has stayed there.
It's been somewhat alarming. Needless to say, when the jaw leaves its socket, it has a wider range of motion, so clicking into place means less range of motion. It also means permanent overbite (the jaw was flexible before -- hanging loose = no overbite).
But on the plus side, it may mean less headaches, and, if it stays like this and I get used to it, better chewing ability. Also less jaw-ache when the mouth stays open, which is good for the (hypothetical) ladies, don'cha know.
It's very strange, and kind of nerve-wracking. But in theory, it's a really good thing.
Posted by LYT at 6:03 PM | Comments (3)
It's a holiday week, so you get my reviews early
"For those of us who dug Rob McKittrick's recent comedy Waiting . . . , Just Friends offers up some good news: Ryan Reynolds and Anna Faris are together again as a dysfunctional couple. He's a slick music executive named Chris Brander, still traumatized at having gotten the "Let's just be friends" speech from the girl of his dreams when he was younger and fatter; she's an insane model turned singer named Samantha James, a nightmarish hybrid of Paris Hilton and Ashlee Simpson who insists on being taken seriously as an artist and harbors a deranged crush on Chris, who slept with her once and regrets it. But with her first album sure to be a massive hit, Chris is ordered to play nice with Samantha, even though she just might rip his nuts off, or kill them both when she sets fire to her own private plane by vacantly throwing tinfoil-wrapped leftovers into the microwave. "
more HERE
I also wrote a review for PULSE, but doesn't look like it's opened in New Times markets yet. So maybe next week.
Short takes after the jump
The Untold Story of Emmett Louis Till
Commonly referred to as a lynching, that description of the 1955 murder of 14-year-old Emmett Till doesn’t do the crime justice: Young Emmett -- whose crime was whistling at a white woman -- was castrated, shot, chopped with an ax, and had his teeth knocked out and tongue cut off before being tied to a cotton gin and thrown in the river. His killers were acquitted, though years later they confessed without any repercussions to themselves. Till’s death was not in vain -- it helped kick the civil rights movement into high gear, as people realized that even children were not safe. Yet some of those who were accomplices to the crime still live, and go unpunished. Keith Beauchamp’s documentary footage got the case re-opened last year, and now we get to see it too, including (viewer beware) stark photos of Till’s mutilated face. It seems all too easy nowadays to think this stuff is all ancient history, and to dismiss the NAACP; Beauchamp’s bracing wake-up call shows otherwise.
Ozzfest 10th Anniversary (Clear Channel Home Video
The title’s a little misleading -- this isn’t a ten year retrospective, but rather the DVD companion to the 2005 tour, with a few reflections along the way, from Sharon Osbourne congratulating herself for originating this headbanging counter-festival to Lollapalooza, and lesser-known metal bands like Trivium and Gizmachi thanking Sharon for the amazing opportunity. Thankfully, there’s a “Performances Only” feature that allows you to skip the talking and stick with the bands, who mostly give off some high-energy tunes (the accompanying CD features most of these). It’s interesting to see Jada Pinkett-Smith’s band Wicked Wisdom get flipped off and booed; as politely as she brushes it off, the reaction hints that Ozzfest is hardly as diverse as its organizers claim. Rob Zombie’s performances are lackluster (stick to making movies, Rob!), but Black Sabbath’s are irresistible despite Ozzy’s desperate begging for cheers. Bonus features include a typically incoherent interview with the Ozzman, and a hilarious anecdote from Zakk Wylde about Ozzy’s last hospital stay.
Posted by LYT at 12:35 PM | Comments (1)
odds and ends...
If you haven't been reading Pererro this week, go there now and scroll all teh way down, working upward. We've been having a lot of fun at the expense of more self-important folks
Also, if anyone would like to see an adult-size version of the Reuben T-shirt ("If him...and him...if they fighted..."), let me know in comments below
Posted by LYT at 1:21 AM | Comments (4)
November 22, 2005
Weekend wrap-up
Busy busy. Not necessarily with anything constructive, but maybe a little.
Friday night I hung out with the Scotts in hopes of making some new friends with people they knew -- I enjoyed everyone's company, but the conversations were so often about shared pasts that I wasn't a part of that I feel like I probably didn't come off so well. Don't know if I managed to win over any new friends, but seeing the familiar ones was fun. It was the kind of scenario where beer was needed, but David and Julie run a dry household. Good for them - but not always good for ice-breaking.
Saturday, got to shoot some of that movie I'm co-directing. Some of you have asked me about it, and it's nice to feel like a little progress was made. For instance, I can now proudly state that PAIN AND SUFFERING features hooters. Did Lucky McKee's first movie have hooters? Nooooo. Did Tarantino's? I don't think so! But mine does.
This does not negate the ongoing search for a female lead, however.
Our shoot involved imposing ourselves on another shoot, which is how we got the nudity to happen -- the other flick is about nudists. I thought I was going to have to nude scenes in return as a favor...but not so far. Not that there's much demand.
After the shoot, we went for Mongolian barbecue (one of Greg Hatanaka's obsessions at the moment), and shot more PAIN AND SUFFERING with my mouth full of food. I won't say we're anywhere near done, but it's shaping up. I saw the dailies, and amuse myself endlessly.
Sunday was the birthday party of Jeff Milne, the prop-master on MAD COWGIRL. The theme was make-your-own-deli-style-sandwich, and Jeff played some electric guitar for the entertainment. He knows his Iron Maiden.
Greg projected some films in 16mm, starting with National Lampoon's Vacation. I hadn't seen this in a while, and was amazed -- you really couldn't make a comedy like this any more. It's R-rated, but the R isn't attained by excessive gross-outs, just real stuff that real people talk about and do. And its critique/analysis of the image of the "average" American family makes all the same points that inferior wannabes like AMERICAN BEAUTY do, but with less fanfare and self-importance.
The sequels deteriorated into rather obvious pratfalls (much as Chevy Chase did in general), but the original is just perfect at what it does.
Does anyone else here remember that Jane Krakowski played Randy Quaid's daughter? I didn't.
The next movie shown was a dubbed Sonny Chiba movie called KILLING MACHINE that made no sense whatsoever, but involved Chiba being a shell-shocked Japanese WWII vet who opens a Shaolin school and wears reverse-swastikas on his karate suit. Then he fights some crime lords, or something.
Also looked at some old dailies of MAD COWGIRL, including all of the shots featuring Douglas Dunning. They sure do propel the story forward.
Meanwhile, I haven't caught up on all the movies in current release that I'd like, but I have seen the Gay Cowboy movie and the Blood-for-Oil movie, both of which are likely to contend for many awards. Reviews later if I'm up to it.
Lotta good DVDs and CDs lately. I've been enjoying REVENGE OF THE SITH, DEVIL'S REJECTS, BEAVIS AND BUTT-HEAD COLLECTION 1, AEON FLUX COLLECTION, and the music of SYSTEM OF A DOWN (Hypnotize) and DESTINY'S CHILD (Number Ones).
What, me listen to Destiny's Child? I'm always amazed when people think they have my taste pegged. At a recent party, I was told that the Edward Murrow biopic GOOD NIGHT AND GOOD LUCK was not my kind of movie. I suspect it will be, but I know it's simpler to imagine that I just like heavy metal and horror.
I'd love it if more people could wrap their heads around that notion. Especially female people.
I'll probably be in San Diego for Thanksgiving, and possibly the weekend. Any readers in the vicinity?
Posted by LYT at 11:56 PM | Comments (5)
Roofies
There are a bunch of guys on my roof right now, tearing it apart with sledgehammers.
This is expected to continue for the next five days.
May be time to leave town for a while.
Posted by LYT at 11:17 AM | Comments (2)
November 21, 2005
Controversy at Closed Source Media
It seems they dismissed one of their more controversial writers shortly after hiring him.
Hypocrites.
Posted by LYT at 1:40 AM | Comments (0)
November 19, 2005
In honor of OSM...
A slightly rewritten Cypress Hill song:
So you wanna be a blog superstar, and live large
a big site, open bars, you're in charge
comin' up in the world, don't trust no media
gotta fisk all of your sources constantly
I remember the days when I was a young blogger growin up
looking on the TV, seeing Twin Towers blowin up
the blog crowd, make money, link to the honeys
post pro-war or whatever the people want from me
it's funny how impossible dreams manifest
and the fame that be comin with it
nevertheless
you got to go for the gusto but you dont know
about the code, site and tears
and hyping terrorist fears
and losing lots of your hair to the years past,
gone by
hopefully you do your best
for that Bush guy
talks tough and never be weak
he dont know how to speak
4 more wars
Democrats are bores,
sign the deal, think you gonna make a mil
but never will til you get a book deal
still filling your head with fantasies
come with me, show the OSM site you think will make the cheese
You wanna be a blog superstar on the web
and take shit from people who see through what you said
I wish it was all fun and games but the price of fame is high
and people call you gay
still pissed at what you're writing about
tell me what happened when you lost
the route you took got too well-traveled
no fans no fame no respect no change no women
and everybody shittin on your name
you ever have big dreams of making real cream
big shot, heavy hitter on the main
and you wanna look swanky
on Fox News, be a Righty and only act nicely
you wanna have big fame, let me explain
what happens to these pundits with no brains
first they get played like all damn day
long as you sell everything will be ok
then you get busted by the media and fans
things never stay the same way they began
I heard that some fall on their sword for the Bushies
that's why tough talkers end up looking like pussies
think everything's fine in the big time
see me in my hat with brim raised high
so you wanna be read far
and live large
it aint all that goes with bein a blog star
my own kid dont know me
I'm typin’ in the computer room lonely
but I thank God I'm getting hits from homies
but sometimes I wish I was back home
but only no Internets or MSM didnt show me
no love, cigar ashes, supporting the rashest
politicians, everyone else? Objectively pro-fascist
I'm in the middle politically
At least that’s how I define me
And if you disagree
You’re a moonbat zealot, with an uninflated cranium
You’re too worried about Joe Wilson and yellowcake uranium
who just wanna cling on, swing on, love Clinton
go on, fall off, the Dems roll on
til the next blog superstar
with no shame
give him a site, he'll get the talking points game
the same as the last one who came before him
gained fame, started gettin fisked, I warned him
assured him, this aint kosher, take it from Roger
sleezy people wanna be so cheesy, the blog-star people
So you wanna be a blog superstar, and live large
a big site, open bars, you're in charge
comin' up in the world, don't trust no media
gotta fisk all of your sources constantly
Posted by LYT at 9:11 PM | Comments (3)
A new T-shirt for the kids
None of my logos or foul language on it anywhere.
Someday, though, a certain sibling of mine may be embarassed. But only if anyone buys it.
Posted by LYT at 7:37 PM | Comments (3)
One door opens, another closes
There's been a lot of talk in the blogosphere about a new site called Open Source Media.
I prefer this new counter-version, Closed Source Media Update.
Posted by LYT at 7:05 PM | Comments (1)
November 18, 2005
Helping in my own unique way
To help them get back on their feet after Katrina, New Times film critics (including me) are contributing reviews to New Orleans alt-weekly Gambit.
Posted by LYT at 4:54 PM | Comments (0)
Found: Robby the Redneck's local church
(hat tip: Tbogg)
Posted by LYT at 4:38 PM | Comments (1)
Testing, testing...
I got into a test screening of an upcoming horror movie the other night. I'm still young enough to be able to do that.
The funny thing is, I was never asked to show ID, or say what I do for a living, or even to sign a nondisclosure agreement. It's like they want word to leak out.
The audience was one of the worst audiences ever, I'll say that. Incessant muttered running commentaries throughout by some of them. The sound mostly drowned them out, but muttering could still be heard during allegedly silent scenes.
The film seemed mostly done -- it had full-on opening credits and everything (though one cast member's name was misspelled!). It's in good shape, but the first half needs to be waaay tightened up, and they know it. Questions on the survey form at the end were more or less like "So, was it too long?", "Really, did it feel slow in parts?", "Look, we know it's too fuckin' slow, please vindicate us!"
[disclaimer: This is not a literal transcript]
So I'm sure the slow parts will be tightened up. It's good that the flick takes the time to introduce you to its victims, but we don't need to know THIS much.
Then once the gore kicks in, it REALLY kicks in. Things get incredibly brutal by the end, and I really hope they don't have to trim any of that stuff. It's quite reminiscent of the director's first film, visually and gore-wise.
It's a remake, but I haven't seen the original. Nor, I suspect, have most of the target audience. I hear the original is better, but at least this isn't watered down like THE FOG, or inundated with color filters like AMITYVILLE and TEXAS CHAINSAW.
I also think there's an amusing subtext to it about how the whole thing is rooted in blue-staters' fear of red-staters.
I'm not going to name the movie, but no doubt some of you have already guessed. If not, I should point out that it's pretty ironic when the heroes appear to be using propane and propane accessories as weapons.
Posted by LYT at 3:42 PM | Comments (8)
Images...
Gregory Hatanaka and Douglas Dunning at a Laemmle press screening of DANGEROUS MEN
Douglas with DANGEROUS MEN director John S. Rad (note the copious stains on Douglas' clothing):
The coolest four people in the world:
FEAST director John Gulager checks out the auditorium at Screamfest L.A.
Clu Gulager and me:
Posted by LYT at 3:46 AM | Comments (9)
November 17, 2005
We got reviews
There's that one movie about the kid with the abhorrent pagan worldview:
"It's not as though you need anybody to tell you the basic premise of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire; if you somehow missed the last three, this won't likely be the one to break your pattern. So you probably want to know up-front how the Hungarian Horntail dragon looks onscreen. And in the words of Ron Weasley (Rupert Grint), it's bloody brilliant."
more HERE
Some short takes after the jump...
THIS DIVIDED STATE
In the weeks before the presidential election of 2004, Utah Valley State College invited Michael Moore to come and speak on campus. Needless to say, many locals were not pleased, though a vocal minority were overjoyed that their views would be heard at last. But one local in particular was not having it, a religious zealot by the name of Kay Anderson, who seemed to honestly believe that Moore advocates the extermination of conservatives. First, Anderson tried to buy back all the tickets sold, then eventually resorted to a lawsuit. Documentarian Steven Greenstreet chronicles the whole thing in this entertaining movie that also features the coming to town of Sean Hannity. If there’s a weakness here, it’s that there’s no challenge whatsoever in making a closed-minded right-wing nutcase look crazy, or in advocating that free speech is good. A movie about, say, liberal boycotts of conservative would-be martyr David Horowitz on an urban campus might be more challenging and thought-provoking -- but maybe not as much fun to watch.
THE PRESIDENT'S LAST BANG
Nothing to do with Clinton or Lewinsky, this film by Im Sangsoo is a satirical take on the actual events surrounding the 1979 assassination of South Korean president Park Chunghee (Song Jae-ho). Basically, Im presents all involved in the conspiracy (think JFK with intentional laughs) as barely competent, inefficient, prone to hitting one another and extremely foul-mouthed; if there are nuances beyond that (and it seems like there may be), they get lost in translation, and don’t play as well to the viewer without historical or cultural context. Park’s son sued the film-makers, the result of which is that four minutes of documentary footage at the beginning of the movie has been excised, replaced with a black screen. As a gesture of protest it may be meaningful to some; to the casual viewer, it makes the film seem boring even before it starts.
DANGEROUS MEN
Ever since Tim Burton’s biopic, the name of Ed Wood has frequently been used in vain to damn relatively minor hack directors. This kind of hyperbole loses sight of the fact that Wood genuinely believed himself a visionary despite all evidence to the contrary, and the same can be said of John S. Rad (a.k.a. Jahangi Salehi Gegamahed), the writer/director/executive producer/composer/location scout/set designer/editor of this odd production that seems to have been some three decades in the making. There’s a girl named Mira (Melody Wiggins) who’s constantly the victim of attempted rapes, and keeps killing her assailants; then there’s a gap in production, and since Wiggins seemingly didn’t come back, the movie switches to her brother-in-law (Kelay Miller) avenging her, all set to constant music possibly purloined from a Super Nintendo game, and culminating in a showdown with the ironically named albino criminal Black Pepper (Bryan Jenkins). Rad may have been retarded, drunk, or both...His movie never actually convinces for a second, but it’s frequently hilarious.
also I'm doing DVD reviews sometimes now:
BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER: THE CHOSEN COLLECTION
Joss Whedon’s much-adored cult series, loosely based on the enjoyably campy Kristy Swanson movie he generally disowns nowadays, is collected in its entirety in this 40 disc set of all 144 episodes. Thing is, most Whedon fans are rabid enough to already own each individual season’s DVD boxed set. If you’re one of the rare fans who doesn’t, this is certainly a cheaper option than buying all seven previous collections -- plus you get a collectible book and a letter personally signed by Whedon -- but it lacks any of the prior commentaries, and sports only one meager disc of bonus features, most of which are perfunctory montages of clips with commentary about how the whole series is like, y’know, a metaphor for adolescence (big duh). A 9-minute featurette with Sarah Michelle Gellar’s stuntwoman is fun and features some new behind-the-scenes stuff, but the new hourlong roundtable by Whedon and his creative team, along with some actors (not the famous ones) is only interesting in the second half, when they’re done complimenting each other. A fanatic would do better to skip this set and buy all the others, and a newcomer may not want to commit to every episode at once; this feels like an odd compromise for obsessively completist collectors only.
Posted by LYT at 1:43 AM | Comments (13)
November 16, 2005
Quick...Before they ban me!
I'm not sure how long I can get away with my newest T-shirt design.
Note: Spreadshirt is having a big sale through Nov. 30
Save $7.50 on any order of $50.00
Save $20.00 on any order of $100.00
Save $37.50 on any order of $150.00
Save $55.00 on any order of $200.00 + free shipping
Save $75.00 on any order of $250.00 + free shipping
You may need to enter a code -- email me (lyt at lytrules.com) if you need one.
Posted by LYT at 1:54 AM | Comments (3)
November 15, 2005
LYT movies free for download!
LOST IN THE BUSH has been available for a while, but now LOVINDAPOCALYPSE III is too!
Get them HERE
Other actors in these fine films include many familiar names, including:
"My Name is Earl"'s EDDIE STEEPLES
"May"'s ANGELA BETTIS
Poperratic frontwoman JAYE BARNES LUCKETT
regular commenter and MOTEL, GLIMPSE codirector JUSTIN STONE
ALL CHEERLEADERS DIE stars SHELLI MERRILL and JULIA CARPENTER
THE LOST director CHRIS SIVERTSON
and many more geniuses!
Seriously. Set aside the time and watch these.
Posted by LYT at 1:19 AM | Comments (1)
November 14, 2005
Couldn't hurt...
Hey, Luke Ford says that if I link to his new relationship blog he'll pray for me, presumably in the relationship department.
I'd settle for introductions to pretty ladies, but will take what I can get.
Posted by LYT at 7:33 PM | Comments (2)
AFI FEST 2005: SPL
"SPL" is a terrible title for a movie, and I'm not even sure what it means. Rumor has it the Weinsteins have picked this one up - I'd have no problem if they retitled it.
IRON MONKEY star Donnie Yen.
MARTIAL LAW star Sammo Hung.
If him, and him...If they fighted...Whowouldwin?
[not the real tagline, but it should be]
Sammo Hung in this film is basically like Marvel Comics villain The Kingpin. He's fat, in charge, and can whup your ass despite his fatness. The cops are so mad at him that they've taken to trying to frame him, but the one cop on the force who really wants to get him is having to retire due to a brain tumor.
In comes Donnie Yen to replace him. But Donnie's an honest cop, so before he can kick the bad guys' asses, he has to kick the good guys' asses too, for being corrupt. Then, and only then, can he grab the bad guy, who of course has one super-awesome elite bodyguard that you have to go through first.
Expanding on this plot is pointless. It's all window-dressing for everything I've just said. And the ending is pretty twisted.
Go. You know you want to.
Posted by LYT at 7:13 PM | Comments (5)
November 13, 2005
Latino Heat's Eternal Flame
Don't know who this is?
There hasn't been a death in wretsling this significant and this shocking since Owen Hart. Cause of death is as yet unknown, but it sounds like "self-inflicted" can be ruled out. Like so many past-their-prime wrestlers we've heard about, he was found dead in a hotel room.
Only he wasn't past his prime. Word has it he was going to win the Smackdown world title tonight, to give Batista some time off to heal a back injury. Eddie has famously had his battles with addictions over the years, but apparently celebrated his fourth year clean and sober the other day. If you look at him now versus from the old days, it wouldn't be going out on a limb to say his physique got considerably enhanced. An enlarged heart is one side effect.
I admit I didn't like Eddie when I first saw him in WCW. He had no gimmick, ugly tights, and a major mullet. But when they switched him to being a bad guy, he suddenly developed a great devious personality, and began a major feud with Rey Mysterio that would continue until the day he died. When he made the leap to WWF alongside Chris Benoit, Perry Saturn, and Dean Malenko, it was a major shocker. All four got a huge push, and Eddie seemed to blow it by injuring himself his second night on the job. But it was Saturn and Malenko who ultimately didn't go big-time; Benoit and Guerrero, both tremendously undersized by Vince McMahon standards, fought their way to the top, and at last year's WrestleMania 20, both were left holding world titles at the end of the show.
Guererro won his by beating Brock Lesnar, one of my all-time faves, a mountain of a man with technical skils to match. I watched that bout on pay-per-view at ReJeKt's house, the last such time if I remember right. It was a tremendously ballsy move by the WWE to have Guerrero beat Brock, but it paid off -- "Latino Heat" was a sensation, though apprently Eddie didn't enjoy the pressures of being the champ.
When I interviewed The Rock, I asked him who the next big star would be. He said he didn't see one on the horizon, but that he really liked Eddie Guerrero. Everyone did. From the casual fans to the "smart" fans that like to tear down everyone, all respected Eddie. He could wrestle a high-flying cruiserweight match, fight a brawl, and portray a great character, from the fun-loving lowrider guy to the paranoid homewrecker he was recently cast as. His ladder match with Edge on Smackdown a couple years back was phenomenal, and I can't stand watching Edge.
Eddie was one of the best in the business. I won't go so far as to say he was "only getting better," but he was as good as it gets, and he was certainly not in decline. He leaves behind three young children, and his nephew Chavo (also known as "Kerwin White")continues the family tradition in WWE.
Look for tribute shows on Monday and Friday night.
Posted by LYT at 4:45 PM | Comments (11)
November 12, 2005
Notifications - a query
Those of you who read regularly -- would you prefer to be notified via email whenever a new post is added?
I can do this quite easily. Just wondering if anyone wants that.
Posted by LYT at 7:36 PM | Comments (10)
AFI FEST 2005: THE DEVIL'S MINER
[This movie screens again Sunday at 5:30 p.m.]
In Bolivia, in a town that's at a higher altitude than any other in the world, a large mountain towers, a mountain said to "eat" men. For centuries, the mines beneath have been a source of silver; pickings are sparse now, but they exist, and there's little else for a man to do in this town other than mine.
And if there's no man in the family? Well, then the boys step up, like 14-year-old Basilio Vargas, who goes to school like other kids, but also works shifts of up to 24 hours in the mine. Like his fellow adult miners, he chews coca leaves to keep himself awake and stimulated. But he hopes to get out of the mining business before too long, as miners live short lives, usually till around the age of 40, when their lungs finally succumb to the decay inflicted upon them by constant dirt inhalation. The bosses aren't Dickensian taskmasters; they wish the kids didn't have to work, but there's no other game in town.
Here's the oddest thing: While these Bolivians are Jesus-worshipping Christians, once they enter the mine they pray to Satan, sacrifice animals to him, and maintain a devilish effigy called a Tio (name derived from an Inca mispronunciation of "Dios") in every mine. Under the ground is Satan's kingdom, they reckon, and not praying to him will result in deadly accidents.
A horror movie? Nope -- documentary. Though there is, I think, a good horror movie to be made here. The cameras go all the way into the depths, where drill crews look like ghosts, and fast moving carts can kill you.
It's quite a tale, but feels a wee bit long -- perhaps the focus on just Basilio is too narrow. It also wouldn't hurt to get a narrator other than the youngster; he's not a natural on camera. Fascinating subject matter, though, and the theological implications...wow.
Posted by LYT at 5:21 PM | Comments (1)
November 11, 2005
AFI FEST 2005: DIRTY
DIRTY is the sort of movie you expect a big studio to announce, rather than being an indie at a festival. Not unlike TRAINING DAY, it's a star-studded tale of dirty cops, featuring Clifton Collins Jr., Cuba Gooding Jr., Keith David, Cole Hauser, Wyclef Jean, Taboo, and Chris Mulkey.
Collins and Gooding are partners in a division much like Rampart, run like a military unit with a wartime mentality by Keith David's character, who's always giving "You can't handle the truth!" type speeches to people who criticize his methods. At the start of the flick, Collins, a former Latino gangbanger turned cop, is starting to have a crisis of conscience. Gooding just shot a retarded old man who looked like he was going for a gun, and Collins is getting reday to testofy to Internal Affairs, but IA needs Gooding to go along with it.
Before they can testify, however, there's a typical workday to go through, and Gooding, channeling Denzel, gets drunk in the squad car, then decides to harass some white people for fun. Later, the two get an assignment from Cole Hauser, that involves doing a drug deal with impossibly-thick-Jamaican-accented crook Wyclef (there are subtitles).
The deal is a set-up, and soon the two cops are on the run not only from their own bosses, but also Wyclef's crew, and a Mexican street gang.
It's a fun story, and director Chris "Fish" Fisher was the first director at the AFI Fest who looked like someone I'd hang out with. Most of these folks look pretentious, except the documentarians, who look like every other crew member. Most of the cast were in attendance as well, except Cole "Genius" Hauser, alas.
But Fisher goes a bit too over the top with a couple of conventions that I wish he'd rein in. The narration is too much, and while the scenes of Collins seeing ghosts work as freak-outs, the constant flashbacks to the accidental shooting do not -- they're all the same, and you keep expecting some new revelation to finally hit, but no. Also the Lisa Gerrard-style chanting on the soundtrack is annoying, as it is in every movie these days.
On either side of me in the theater, people kept turning on the monitors on their cell phones to check messages. No noise was made, but the light from those things is distracting, and this shit needs to be stopped.
Early in the movie, I had to leave to go to the bathroom. But darting in and out is not so easy at a fest. I was asked "Is a seat saved for you? Because we're sold out in there" I said, yes, I just came out of there, had a seat, and could they remember to let me back in? "We need to stamp your ticket." I don't have a ticket, I have a press pass.
"Go talk to her" [pointing at no-one]
So finally, I just said really loudly, "I need to take a leak and come right back. What do I have to do?" An older lady came up and put a smily-face sticker on my arm. I hit the restroom. Came back. This should be a no-brainer type deal, folks.
Posted by LYT at 5:34 PM | Comments (1)
November 10, 2005
AFI FEST 2005: THE RED SHOES
[THE RED SHOES screens again tomorrow - Friday - at 9:45 p.m.]
The rules of nouveau Asian horror are pretty much down to a template by now:
1. Asian kids are scarier than Caucasians, because they're all, like, Asian-looking and that's weird. Asian girls are scarier than Asian boys.
2....especially if they're given white skin and dark eyes.
3...and even more so if hair is hanging over their eyes.
4...Single moms are especially susceptible to visions of scary Asian kids, in no small part because they have a tendency to choose horrible run-down haunted apartments in which to reside.
5. There will come a point when the single mom will figure everything out, and do what needs to be done to put the restless spirit at ease by giving it what it seems to want. Once this is done, everyone is really fucked, because the ghost is actually a bastard and totally not satisfied by anything you can do.
THE RED SHOES follows the above rules to the letter, although the shoes in question are actually pink, so who knows what that's all about. It's kind of like DARK WATER meets LORD OF THE RINGS, only with shoes instead of rings or water.
Press info on this is scant -- I remember the little girl's name is Tae-soo, because her mom yells it so many times. Other than that, forgive my lack of character name or actor info here, as even imdb is really scant as I write this.
So...Mom finds the pink shoes in the subway, and obsesses over them. Finds her husband cheating in her, and leaves. Li'l Tae-soo is pissed at mom, and becomes similarly obsessed with the shoes, to the point where they physically fight over them. A friend borrows them without asking, and ends up dead. The shoes are cursed, but what is the origin of the curse? And why can't mom get rid of them?
There's some nice style and decent scares here, but at a certain point, I just started wanting them to get on with it. Maybe because Korean woman are conditioned to be more passive, it takes a long time for our heroine to do anything about anything. And late in the game, there's a development that causes us to lose a lot of sympathy for her, which doesn't make it that suspenseful when a ghost comes after her -- by then, I kinda wanted it to get her.
And the daughter's annoying. Horror movies often depend upon kids not talking to their parents as a way to maintain mystery, but it's starting to piss me off and making me root for the parents to slap the kid.
A very nice fake-out at the end gets props for being the first of its exact kind that I've ever seen.
Like every other reviewer I've seen, I liked parts of it quite a bit, but feel like the beats are awfully familiar.
Posted by LYT at 3:53 PM | Comments (2)
AFI FEST 2005: FUCK
I wonder if a movie called FUCK is likely to have any problems with the MPAA?
There are documentaries about Really Important Issues, and then there's this, a nonfiction film about the merits (or lack thereof) of the F-word. It's not as funny as THE ARISTOCRATS, but is a better-made film. Bill Plympton contributes some animated segments that aren't his best -- for most of the movie I wondered if it was in fact his work, or the work of a mediocre Plympton rip-off. I think his increased use of computers has hurt his unique style, though it undoubtedly makes life easier for him.
The movie looks at the history of the word (turns out no-one really knows where it originated, and those who say they do are reciting urban legends), its use in society and movies (its increasing use as adverb, adjective, interjection, etc. was primarily due to soldiers during the world wars), history with comedians (George Carlin appears to have had the same receding hairline forever -- like it receded a little bit 40 years ago, and then just stopped).
But director Steve Anderson (THE BIG EMPTY) has also obtained an impressive amount of film clips and all-new interviews, from usual suspects like Ice-T, Ron Jeremy, and porn star Tera Patrick (waaay hot), but also right-wingers like Dennis Prager (who dubs the conflict between the profane and the prurient "The New American Civil War"), Michael Medved, and Pat Boone; as well as more off-the-wall choices like Alanis Morissette and Janeane Garofalo (also way hot).
At times, these interviews get spliced together for comic effect, simulating a conversation between two subjects that probably did not happen. The conservatives were happy to participate, apparently, but one or two were upset to find out the movie's title, which hadn't been decided at the time (Pat Boone suggests that his own last name makes a better swear word, and Ice-T concurs that he intends to "Boone" his wife tonight). There are also a couple of clips from porn movies, and one from a European rock concert where live sex was performed onstage. Got me hard.
Penn and Teller did an episode of "Bullshit!" on this topic, and it was boring and didactic. FUCK the movie is fun. Nothing too deep, but what did you expect?
Posted by LYT at 3:34 PM | Comments (8)
And yet I can't get a date...
Posted by LYT at 2:23 AM | Comments (3)
Non-AFI Fest reviews
Yes, I still do regular work when fests happen. Did you see Kenny Turan's review of Get Rich or Die Tryin' in the LA Times yesterday? 'Twas a total rewrite of the press kit -- Kenny couldn't have been less out of his element.
Some people may say the same about me once they read this:
"Get Rich or Die Tryin', named after one of 50's albums, seems to have begun life primarily as a marketing tool: Like Eminem's 8 Mile and Howard Stern's Private Parts, it's consciously styled to show the more sensitive side of a guy known primarily for macho swagger, and in the process expand his audience to women and older folks who may have been otherwise put off. But it's also designed to give director Jim Sheridan some hipster points with the kids, as 8 Mile did for Curtis Hanson. Frankly, it's a little embarrassing to read, in the press notes, the 56-year-old Irish director's constant assertions that he's always loved rap music. Even if it's true, it sounds overly defensive."
Dare to read on
I liked ZATHURA more:
"You know it's a good sign for a children's film when Peter Billingsley is listed as a producer. Star of one of the greatest family films ever, A Christmas Story, he seems determined to find a similar tone in his work with director Jon Favreau, here and in Elf. Danny and Walter are not sugar-coated, nostalgia-tinged, idealized kids-as-remembered-by-adults; they're often quite mean, unabashedly calling each other "dick," and Walter's first impulse when he obtains his own personal robot is to say, "Get me a juice box, beeyotch!" (Perhaps the best line of dialogue in any movie this year.)"
the rest is here
And if you wonder when I'm gonna do a more thoughtful, topical film, this one's for you:
"The point of Protocols of Zion is not so much to debunk outlandish conspiracy theories, but to keep a dialogue alive so that prejudices can come out and be challenged. Levin has invited radicals of all stripes to come to screenings, and has even persuaded Malik Zulu Shabazz, chairman of the New Black Panther Party, to go from embracing the 9/11 theory to admitting he isn't sure, which seems like a baby step but cannot be discounted. And though the movie doesn't give equal focus to other prejudices, it does go a little bit toward criticizing the argument that blacks and Palestinians are justified in horrendous anti-Jewish bigotry because they've been subjected to discrimination themselves."
More social stuff this-a-way
some quick takes after the jump:
TENNIS, ANYONE?
On the set of a movie down in Mexico, two actors bond over their shared love of tennis. One of them, Danny Macklin (Donal Logue) is a successful sitcom star whose life is spiraling out of control, while the other, Gary Morgan (Luke Wilson lookalike Kirk Fox) isn’t particularly talented but projects a zen-like attitude not unlike that of The Dude in The Big Lebowski. Gary remains unfazed as Danny’s life falls apart, but eventually tennis unites the two against an arrogant former costar of Danny’s, played by Jason Isaacs. Logue makes his directorial debut with this movie, cowritten by Fox, and it feels like a series of improvisations between friends -- the two have definite chemistry, but don’t exactly propel the story forward. By the time we get to the climactic tennis bout, we wonder if this was somehow supposed to be a sports movie all along. If you’re a fan of the actors, it’s worthwhile, but there’s nothing much else to it. Danny Trejo and Stephen Dorff make amusing cameos.
DERAILED
Having come directly from the dentist’s to the press screening of “Derailed”, I can honestly and accurately state that a dental cleaning is more enjoyable than watching this inaugural release from the Weinstein Company, a C-grade thriller recycled from a thousand direct-to-video precedents. Clive Owen does his standard mopey sleepwalking shtick as Charles Schine, an advertising executive with a hot wife (Melissa George) and a dangerously diabetic daughter (Addison Timlin). On the train to work, he begins a casual flirtation with fellow advertiser Lucinda (Jennifer Aniston), and soon enough, the two are secretly booking a hotel room. Only when they start to get down and dirty, things are interrupted by an aggressive Frenchman (Vincent Cassel) who mugs Charles and rapes Lucinda. Afterwards, he continues to call Charles asking for more and more money, and even shows up at his house to charm the family, just to prove that he can.
If Charles were simply to come clean to the police, this story would be over, so of course endless contrivances ensue. You also have to believe that Charles would abandon Melissa George for Jennifer Aniston, which frankly isn’t a choice most guys would make. And if you don’t see the ending coming, you really haven’t seen many movies of this type before, though points to director Mikael Hafstrom (“Evil”) for a cheat of an opening that sets you on the wrong track initially. The RZA’s cameo as an office mailman is the best thing about the film by far.
DUE TO HEAVY SPAM VOLUME ON THIS POST, IT IS NOW CLOSED TO COMMENTS. IF YOU WANT TO TALK BACK, HEAD TO THE MESSAGE BOARD
Posted by LYT at 1:48 AM | Comments (11)
November 9, 2005
AFI FEST 2005: SORRY, HATERS and FACTOR 8: THE ARKANSAS PRISON BLOOD SCANDAL
SORRY, HATERS is amazing. And not what you probably think from the title.
Ashade (Abdellatif Kechiche) is a Syrian Muslim cab driver desperately trying to raise money for a lawyer to help his brother out of immigration hell. Phoebe (Robin Wright Penn) is an executive at Q-Dog TV, a thinly disguised version of MTV noted for the show "Sorry, Haters!" that's basically MTV Cribs with more arrogance. When Phoebe steps into Ashade's cab one night, the drama begins. She has him drive her out to Jersey, where she vandalizes an SUV. Then on the way back, she talks her way into his home, and offers to find him a better lawyer. But there's something a little off about her from the start, and by the time it becomes clearer, she's already gotten what she needs to make life very difficult for Ashade.
The less said about the rest of the story, the better. It's always tense, frequently unplesaant, and keeps you guessing. There may be the temptation to see grand political War On Terror issues at work, but really, this movie isn't about broader movements, but two individuals in the post 9-11 world, with personal agendas. The mini-DV cinematography looks great, and the use of available locations and minimal actors is a textbook example of how to do this kind of thing right.
Keep an eye on writer-director Jeff Stanzler.
FACTOR 8 is not so amazing. The subject matter is important, and valuable to be brought out into the open -- the story of how an Arkansas prison had a blood donation program that sent tainted blood all over the world, and may have even resorted to murder to cover up the evidence. The fact that much of this happened under Governor Bill Clinton's watch suggests that maybe the attack dogs of the right could be useful if they were set loose on the story.
The film, however, goes on for about half an hour reiterating its thesis before actually getting into the good stuff. It feels really padded, especailly when director Kelly Duda throws in a stock footage scene in an abandoned church, where he hones in on teh Ten Commandments. We get it.
Duda also seems to think that homosexuals should be barred from giving blood -- he doesn't seem to distinguish between gay men with HIV and those without. Granted, in the prison system those distinctions may be more blurred than the outside world, but his language doesn't seem to make the distinction.
It's a good thing to bring the world's attention to the scandal, but the movie would be better as a half-hour TV special.
Posted by LYT at 1:00 PM | Comments (4)
November 8, 2005
VOTE TODAY!
Yes, it's a stupid election, but you need to go and vote down the Governator's stupid stuff so he knows it's stupid.
No on all except 79 and 80.
And 73 isn't just about parental notification for teen abortions -- it would also enshrine into California law a definition of the fetus as an unborn child. Wahtever your beliefes on that, vote accordingly.
Posted by LYT at 2:44 AM | Comments (2)
November 7, 2005
AFI FEST 2005: RIPLEY UNDER GROUND
I read some of Patricia Highsmith's Tom Ripley books back in high school, but I've actually never seen any of the movies based on them, until now. Alain Delon, Dennis Hopper, Matt Damon, and John Malkovich are some of the more notable names to fill the role, but in Roger Spottiswoode's new version, we get Barry "Battlefield Earth" Pepper, going from Johnny Goodboy Tyler to Tommy Badboy Ripley.
The deal with the Ripley books, for those who don't know, is that they're murder mysteries from the point of view of the murderer, with the mystery being how he'll get away -- since there are numerous other books about him, you know he will. RIPLEY UNDER GROUND has a lot of fun with the premise, playing up the humor of Ripley having to deal with crazy bits of evidence that keep showing up right when he thinks he's gotten rid of it all. Author Highsmith is dead now, but she apparently approved the script before leaving us.
The setting here is the London art scene, with Ripley attending a show by his friend Derwatt (Douglas Henshall), an arrogant Irish drunk and the designated next big thing. Alas, at the after-party, Derwatt makes the mistake of proposing to longtime girlfriend Cynthia (Claire Forlani), who's grown tired of him. Dismayed by her "no" answer, Derwatt goes on a drunk driving spree and kills himself. And much to the chagrin of his agent Jeff (Alan Cumming, amusing as always), he's not yet famous enough to have his death make his work valuable. So Ripley and friends hatch a plan to hide the body and not tell anyone the man is dead, at least not yet.
But then a crazy American collector (Willem Dafoe) shows up wanting to spend big bucks on Derwatt's next painting. The plot thickens when Ripley and friends discover that their buddy Bernard (Ian Hart), is able to paint in Derwatt's style, and with a bit of sexual incentive from Cynthia, he starts painting forgeries. All goes well for a while, until the collector begins to suspect something. Meanwhile, Ripley's in France, romancing rich heiress Heloise (LADDER 47's Jacinda Barrett, unrecognizable and smokin').
Suffice it to say that Derwatt isn't the only corpse in the film.
Pepper's got the right balance of blankness and charm for the role, and his reapartee with Scotland Yard inspector Webster (Tom Wilkinson) is priceless. Spottiswoode's dark humor really kicks in in the second half, so if you feel like the first half is trailing, just hang on. My complaint with him is that the sex scenes have that Hollywood vibe where you know they're being carefully shot so that the actresses don't have to show anything. Forlani's enough of a name that she can pull that crap, but Barrett? She's good, but there are others who could have done what she does, and gotten naked -- like a real French actress would.
It has been suggested in other films that Ripley is bisexual, but no evidence of that here. Hell, even Alan Cumming gets a scene near the end that proves his character likes girls.
Lord knows I'm not a big animal person, but wait until you see the dogs in this movie, and how they're used to further the plot. I haven't enjoyed canine performances this much in a long time.
I'm surprised there's no distributor on this yet -- maybe because amoral protagonists are a tough sell. Indeed, Ripley is a bit blank at first, but he's meant to be. Still, it's a very fun flick, and I recommend it.
Posted by LYT at 12:20 PM | Comments (0)
I need to get laid
Just an observation.
Posted by LYT at 1:21 AM | Comments (3)
November 6, 2005
AFI FEST 2005: blogging begins with AN AMERICAN HAUNTING
I wasn't sure if I'd get credentialed for this, but all the publicists and volunteers here were very accomodating, even though one did have some harsh words for CityBeat (which plugged the fest HERE.)
Anyway, I have my pass, so now I have to earn it. I'll be attending the fest all week, reviewing new films you'll probably be hearing about for the first time. And drinking free vodka.
AN AMERICAN HAUNTING (note: this movie screens again today, Sunday, at 12:30 p.m. at the Arclight)
A documentary crew actually interviewed me on the way into this screening, probably using the logic that a guy with blue hair will look interesting in a montage. And what I told them may not have been the kindest thing, but it's true -- this movie is writer-director Courtney Solomon's follow-up to DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS. He may not want to be remembered that way -- I travel in geek circles wherein virtually any horror/fantasy/sci-fi flick will be defended by someone, but nobody steps up on D&D's behalf -- but fortunately for him and his rep, this new movie's quite a bit better. And totally different.
It begins with a young girl running through the woods, as an invisible something chases her up to her room, where she sees a vision of the stereotypical J-horror gray-faced girl with black hair hanging in her face. This is appropos of nothing, and doesn't relate to any subsequent events, and of course it's just a dream. But we find out that the girl has been up in the basement and brought down some creepy old letters and a doll with a cracked face. RRRReeeal smart move there, girlie.
Anyway, mom gives Absolut vodka some gratuitous product placement (smart move, Courtney, as most film fests do indeed have major vodka sponsors) starts reading the creepy old letters, and the rest of the movie is the story she reads, set in 1815. Initially, it seems not unlike that BLAIR WITCH prequel which never got made.
So, the 1815 story takes place in the same house, inhabited back then by a family called the Bells, headed up by Donald Sutherland (John) and Sissy Spacek (Lucy), both actors whom I like a lot better as old people than I did as youngsters. First, they hear some bumping around up in the attic. Then John goes to court and is judged guilty of charging excessive interest to a rumored witch woman (can't find the actress' name right now, but maybe my readers know). The witch is pissed that she doesn't get as much of a settlement as she'd hoped, and threatens John and his daughter Betsy (Rachel Hurd-Wood, who really does look like she could be Sissy Spacek's kin). Then the shit hits the fan.
Mysterious wolves attack, then disappear. Doors slam. Betsy is raised into the air and slapped around by invisible hands. Stuff falls and burns. Betsy also starts to hang out with a weird little girl who no-one else can see. John starts coughing blood and hallucinating deformities on his tongue.
Courtney Solomon knows how to yell "Boo" at an audience. His scares are old-fashioned, but definitely effective. That's no small thing, so take it into account when I say that unfortunately he comes up a bit shorter in other areas.
The story structure needs work. Essentially, Betsy has haunted nights over and over again, until suddenly the "entity" eventually sees fit to tell her why it's so pissed off. And I won't spoil that, but it doesn't make much sense -- the entity is really into blaming the victim, it seems.
The cinematography, by Adrian Biddle (THE MUMMY) is inconsistent: at times, notably when Sutherland is out in the woods hunting, it looks great. Other times, it looks like a cheap TV special. Occasionally we go into ghost POV shots -- at their best, as when the ghost leaves the house to chase a carriage, one is reminded of EVIL DEAD. At worst, there are lots of unmotivated back-and-forths between color and B/W. I blame the Oliver Stone influence.
Production values: Meh. Low-budget films must be careful about period stuff. At one point, a Bible is torn page by page by the entity, and the paper is very clearly modern stuff. On the other hand, Solomon does make the 19th century pastime of playing checkers while drinking whiskey look like the coolest thing in the world.
I don't wanna be hard on the guy, because this is so much better than his first film, and he has a sense of scares. But I really do think he'd be better off dropping the "writer" part of his "writer-director" label. And I do expect this film will get a distribution deal, if it hasn't already. It's certainly better than THE EXORCISM OF EMILY ROSE.
Posted by LYT at 12:07 AM | Comments (6)
November 4, 2005
LOST -- the TV series, not the Sivertson film
Well, I finally managed to get hold of all the DVDs of season 1 of LOST, and I'm hooked. Good characters, good story -- but I really hope there's a definite ending planned for this thing, otherwise it'll be a waste of build-up. To my mind it has to end with either (a) the secrets of the island revealed, (b) the castaways getting rescued, (c) everyone dying, or (d) some combination of the above.
But now here's my dilemma. Season 2 has already begun, and I can't begin with a huge gap in the sequence. Have any of you, my friends, recorded or Tivo'ed season 2 so far? I know that the new Ipod can download episodes for like $2 -- if you don't have an Ipod, can you play it on Itunes on the computer?
I must know. Waiting for a season 2 boxset will be eternal, and I might have forgotten all the key stuff by then.
This is why I avoid TV normally.
In other news, I scored an early copy of the Devil's Rejects unrated DVD. No time to watch it yet.
Oh, and here's some LOST trivia for you: Emilie de Ravin, who plays the pregnant Aussie chick, was in an early, unfinished version of ROMAN, in the role now played by Kristen Bell. In that version of the movie, Kevin Ford played the lead role of ROMAN (he ended up being D.P. on the final film). I met Emilie very briefly; she was short and very blonde (lookswise, I mean, not a "dumb blonde" thing at all). And totally beautiful, as you see on TV.
Posted by LYT at 2:18 AM | Comments (9)
November 3, 2005
If it's Thursday, there must be reviews
"The mere mention of a Palestinian movie seems to raise immediate defensive postures on both sides of the debate over Palestinian statehood, as does the notion of a movie that might dare portray suicide bombers as three-dimensional human beings (a courtesy we never gave the Nazis back in the '40s, don'cha know). But Paradise Now, while taking a definite anti-violence stance, ventures even deeper into controversy by daring to be a black comedy. Oh, the last 10 minutes or so are deadly serious, and the marketing focuses on how it's a call for peace, but the movie also has the sheer brazenness to find humor in the suicide bomber's experience. "
"Chicken Little is a groundbreaking movie in more ways than one. Not only is it Disney's first in-house all-computer-generated feature, but on select screens, it will be presented in "Disney Digital 3-D," a brand-new system created with the help of George Lucas' special-effects company Industrial Light & Magic. It's revolutionary! It's state of the art! It's ... not being screened in this format prior to opening day. Oops."
the rest is here
Click the more link below for a couple of short takes:
SHOW ME
Stuck in standstill rush hour traffic, Sarah (Michelle Nolden) gets carjacked and kidnapped by two teenage runaways, Jenna (Katharine Isabelle) and Jackson (Kett Turton). Sarah’s no pushover, and tries several escape tactics, but to no avail; Jenna and Jackson end up taking her back to her cabin in the middle of the woods. Then things take a turn for the weirder, as Sarah suddenly develops the biggest case of Stockholm syndrome ever seen, and becomes all protective and motherly of these two sociopathic punk-asses. It’s a big disappointment. The movie’s billed as a thriller, yet rather than deliver the violent revenge that Jackson and Jenna deserve, it gets all touchy-feely and meta. But whatever point writer-director Cassandra Nicolau is trying to make, she never makes us understand quite what makes the two juvenile delinquents tick, which is a major frustration when all we wanna do is punch them both in the face. A minor homosexual twist is pointless and plays as absurd attention-seeking.
THE LEGEND OF ZORRO
Seven years in the making, this sequel to The Mask of Zorro is too little, too late. Do we really want a Zorro who has become domesticated and is thinking of hanging it up to focus on the family? Set 10 years after the last film, Martin Campbell’s sequel sees Zorro (Antonio Banderas) as a henpecked husband with a disobedient son (Adrian Alonso) and a nagging wife (Catherine Zeta-Jones), who swiftly divorces him in favor of a villainous Frenchman (Rufus Sewell). Campbell is excellent with action and fight sequences, but not so hot with storytelling, and this Zorro seriously drags between fights. Banderas and Zeta-Jones have good chemistry, so why keep them apart most of the movie? Perhaps Campbell was hoping for a Spy Kids-type success, but that isn’t the way to treat a romantic hero.
The villains seem calculated to please all political stripes – Sewell’s arrogant count is a Frenchman who is part of a New World Order conspiracy, while his cohort (Nick Chinlund) is a racist religious fanatic with wooden teeth. Campbell delivers an exciting runaway-train finale, but the build-up is often witless and badly paced. Banderas doesn’t look old yet – so why does the movie treat him like he’s William Shatner in The Wrath of Khan? Emasculating (and prematurely aging) your own hero at every step seems like a bad idea, and Campbell should have known better.
Posted by LYT at 12:19 AM | Comments (7)
November 2, 2005
Tuesday
Yesterday, I went to the WWE pay-per-view TABOO TUESDAY, with ED209. The gimmick fo this event is that fans get to vote online as to what kind of matches they want to see. WWE swears up and down that the voting is legit, but obviously it would be esaier to rig than a Diebold machine in Ohio.
Having one of these events on a weeknight/school night is a stupid idea -- on the west coast, it started at 4:45 p.m., before most people are off of work. On the east coast, it goes until 11 p.m. The San Diego sports arena, which is small and old by contemporary urban standards, was not sold out. Which means, of course, that if Gorilla Monsoon were still alive, he'd be claiming that the fans are literally hanging from the rafters.
Anyway, this wasn't the worst PPV I've ever been to, but it was awkward as hell, implying that the spontaneity WAS legit. I saw more blown spots here than on a canine beastiality porn video. Okay, I'll stop with the wacky comparisons now.
'90s star Vader made an awkward comeback, moving slower than even the Big Show, and totally blowing a powerbomb move with Batista. A womens' "over the top rope" battle royal changed rules midstream, allowing women to be eliminate if they were knocked out of the ring any kind of way, not just over the top. And in an otherwise outstanding cage match between Triple H and Ric Flair, Triple H at one point was too far away for Flair to hit a move, so he made a really fake-looking fall-forward to get into Flair's grasp.
Then there was the "legends" match. Eugene was to be partnered with a classic superstar voted on by the fans -- Kamala, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, or Superfly Snuka. Duggan is the only one of the three in any kind of ring shape, but the fans voted for Snuka. And it was embarassing. He went to the top rope for his finisher, and took forever to get his balance -- you could tell Eugene was getting frustrated waiting, but he kept rallying the fans anyway, untill finally Snuka balanced and hit the move, long after his opponent Rob Conway could conceivably have rolled out of the way.
A good surprise was the return to announcing of ECW's Joey Styles, but the live audience couldn't hear him.
The main event, at least, was a good match, with Shawn Michaels and Kurt Angle knocking John Cena through a table, then carrying most of the battle themselves until Cena rallied and won. Cena got an insanely loud ovation -- I thought he wasn't that popular, but apparently he is.
Posted by LYT at 4:07 PM | Comments (6)
November 1, 2005
Happy birthday LUCKY MCKEE!
If you're seriously making this the year of not smoking, I wish you the utmost strength of will, that I know you possess in other areas.
Know that my glass is raised here in Hollywood.
Posted by LYT at 10:29 PM | Comments (4)
Don't be a flippin' IDIOT
Buy my newest shirt design.
Posted by LYT at 1:28 AM | Comments (2)