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January 31, 2006
Congrats to Oscar-nominated screenwriter Josh Olson!
First Oscar nom I've ever known personally. Maybe now Blockbuster video can repackage all those DVDs of his directorial debut film INFESTED.
Buy it while they still have it, people!
Posted by LYT at 12:02 PM | Comments (1)
January 30, 2006
Guerillas in our Midst
Those of you who don't think I'm friendly enough to guerilla marketers should enjoy this entry. It's a review of a DVD sent to me by a film-maker.
PLEASE NOTE that this is not a greenlight for everyone out there to send me everything. This kind of thing is highly dependent on my schedule, and other factors. This guy got in touch with me, has his film showing at San Francisco IndieFest along with mine, and his premise sounded interesting to me, so I offered to take a look at it. And here we are.
It's called SIDEKICK, and the writer who sent it to me is Michael Sparaga (he's also producer and editor). The director is one Blake Van de Graaf
I had a lot of misgivings when the movie started. It looked cheap, and everyone in it looked like a capital-a Actor with the kind of make-up and perfect grooming that real people don't have (except for Daniel Baldwin, ironically enough; the biggest name is the most grunged down).
But, well, I'll let Michael explain. From his cover letter to me:
"this DVD is made from a 29.97 fps export from Final Cut so it still has that video edge. The print has been down-converted to 24 fps and has that beautiful film grain quality -- kind of looks like 28 Days Later now."
Okay, so any critique by me of the visual quality doesn't reflect the final product. I hope the make-up is less obvious in the final print as a result.
IMDB lists the running time at 87 minutes. I could have sworn it was considerably longer. The pace is very slow in the beginning, with just about every shot running noticeably too long. This is a danger for festival audiences, many of whom may have less patience than the norm.
But for those who do stick around, it's worth it. The movie gets it together once the plot kicks in.
Essentially, SIDEKICK plays like a slightly more comic gloss on UNBREAKABLE, M. Night Shyamalan's "realistic" superhero movie. Norman (Perry Mucci) is a computer programmer who works at both a local comic book store and an investment firm. One day,a minor accident with a coffee cup convinces him that a coworker, Victor (David Ingram) may have abilities beyond those of mortal men. With some encouragement from the comic book store owner (Daniel Baldwin, playing against type as a geek), he puts it upon himslef to try and show Victor the true potential that life as a superhero can offer. But Victor doesn't take him seriously until a tragedy occurs in the Spider-Man/Uncle Ben mold.
Victor and Norman become awkward friends, especially when it becomes clear that anger and anxiety are what trigger Victor's telekinetic powers, so Norman, who's kind of an annoying nerd anyway, has to be extra annoying to help Victor develop. And Victor's no noble Clark Kent, but a cocky stockbroker with a fratboy sensibility, whose idea of fun is using his powers to force muggers into having gay sex (Well, wouldn't you do the same?).
Baldwin is easily the best actor here, on a whole other level from the rest of the cast. But the two leads, while somewhat exaggerated in their performances, develop an endearing chemistry, and the substitute for Kryptonite is amusing. One plot issue: Initially, it is set up that Victor's powers can't seem to function properly while being taped on video, but nothing further is made of that. I thought for sure that a sign reading "protected by closed circuit camera" would pay off, and it never did.
Sparaga has written a solid script here, and it would have been interesting to see it done on a bigger budget. That said, the effects, some of which I presume are CGI, are well pulled off, with no visible wires or glaringly obvious camera effects. Apparently a major studio HAS purchased the remake rights, so we'll see.
Big props for imagination too -- rare is the independent debut feature that would bite off so much in a high concept, and manage to chew it reasonably well, even if the occasional chunk or two is tough to swallow.
My advice would be to cut the first half down quite a bit more -- no scene eliminations, just shorten every shot by a head and tail, as they're mostly longer than necessary, and a faster pace would add comedic and dramatic tension. Build up the love triangle element perhaps a wee bit more, so we're better invested in it when jeopardy arrives. But I also have to say that the movie in general is a lot of fun to watch, and I hope to see those involved continue to grow.
BAY AREA MOVIEGOERS: You can see SIDEKICK at the Roxie Theater at 4:30 p.m. on Thursday, Feb 9, and Saturday, Feb. 11.
More info on those screenings HERE
Posted by LYT at 11:06 PM | Comments (21)
January 29, 2006
Another trend I could do without
People coming up to me in parking lots and on the street with this spiel...
"Hey man, what kind of music you listen to?"
"You ever listen to hip-hop?"
"Yo, check this out: me and my brother, we been doing this for years, recently did a concert that Ice-T was at, we got [some familiar sounding name] to remix it, and it's right here on this walkman. Take a listen."
"That's good, right? Five dollars."
"How about I throw in this other one we did? Seven dollars for both."
Homeless rap guys -- if you're good, go out and perform.
And realize that tattooed white guys with rainbow hair probably favor a different genre.
Posted by LYT at 9:46 PM | Comments (23)
Lost review: STREETS OF LEGEND
This review never saw print, but now that the movie's out on DVD, it's time.
Car Trouble
Streets of Legend is neither Fast nor Furious.
The main selling point of Streets of Legend is that it features real street racers really driving neck-and-neck at illegal speeds on the streets of Los Angeles at night. No Hollywood stuntmen here! However, there are two major drawbacks to this gimmick. Firstly, the movie is not a documentary. Secondly, less surprisingly, the non-actors selected for the cast live up to their description by not acting. Perhaps if the movie were all action, that wouldn’t matter so much. The driving, however, is but a tangent -- Streets of Legend is first and foremost a love story, and not a very good one.
Director Joey Curtis says that his idea was to make a modern-day West Side Story, because lord knows that hasn’t been tried already. Not that this is a musical, nor set in New York, but never mind -- it has people with different skin colors who kiss. Occasionally, they do more, as in one of the movie’s early scenes, where some oral satisfaction results in an awkward moment due to neither party having any tissues to hand. Didn’t wanna know that? At least you didn’t have to watch it.
The recipient of the bad blowjob is Joaquin “Chato” Hernandez (Victor Lanios), a Latino youngster on probation. The other party to the encounter is not his girlfriend. That girlfriend would be Noza (Brihanna Hernandez), who’s still in school, but old enough to drive. When Chato fails a drug test, she drives home alone, and when she learns the truth about his indiscretions, refuses to take his calls from prison.
Then one night her friends take her to watch an illegal street race. The cops bust it up, and she gets separated from her posse, but picked up in the nick of time by Derek Smith (Robert Beaumont), a Caucasian racer with a sensitive-guy soul patch. She nicknames him “Quattro,” after his Audi, and writes her phone number on his arm. It’s love. He even lets her meet his dad (Gary Brockette), a former racer who’s now a house-painter with a bad cough.
All of this plot takes over an hour. Why so slow? Well, Curtis seems to want every single scene to play like a dream, with superimposed images, tricks with lighting, whispered voice over, and the like. It’s really cool at first, especially the opening credits sequence that makes the downtown lights of L.A. at night look like fireworks. But it doesn’t move the narrative forward at all, and after about 45 minutes, enough of this is enough. Meanwhile, we don’t actually learn much about the street racing scene that the movie is ostensibly being true to.
Curtis’ first-time actors at least look the part. There are no Vin Diesels or Paul Walkers among them, though the eight-year age difference between Hernandez and Beaumont is very pronounced, as she comes across younger than she is (21 in reality, but looks 16) and seems to be playing a high-schooler. Beaumont looks all of his 29 years, which makes the romance feel like potential statutory rape.
They don’t actually have sex onscreen, but there is a rape scene in the film, one that’s intercut with scenes of street racing. It’s an editorial idea that was better exemplified in the cult martial arts flick Black Belt Jones 2: The Tattoo Connection, where it was impossible to take too seriously. Here, it just seems lame.
Worse is when the movie tries to give the cast some big dramatic moments that they’re in no way capable of. When Derek and Noza are on a date, he gets to reveal his Big Traumatic Secret in a manner that plays like a Trey Parker parody, and later, another character gets a death scene that’s painful for all the wrong reasons. The one major actor who’s decent is the one who’s had a little experience -- Gary Brockette. Complaining about all his son’s traffic tickets and modifications to the family car, he wonders aloud, “What is this shit with the lights off?”
“Stealth mode” responds Derek.
“How ‘bout I put a stealth boot up your ass?” retorts the old man. You wish he’d deliver on the threat. It might give Beaumont’s performance a bit more energy.
Though Streets of Legend probably won’t be viewed by many Pete Wilson/anti-immigration types, it’s interesting to note that in some ways, it confirms their fears. White boys, don’t you dare date Mexican girls, or violent gangbangers will beat you up. Also don’t get into street races with minority types, or you’ll get in some bad trouble. This isn’t the message the film-makers intended to convey, but it isn’t a stretch to read it in.
And frankly, when every scene is shot like an underwater dream sequence, without concern for moving things along (ironic for a movie about fast driving, yes?), there’s a lot of time for one’s mind to wander and look for subtext. The running time is 92 minutes; it feels like twice that.
Posted by LYT at 6:56 PM | Comments (2)
January 28, 2006
Unpleasant trend
Why is it that for two straight years now, the one time I get a cold that knocks me down a little just happens to coincide with having to go see an alleged "comedy" featuring a black comedian unfunnily dressed up as an old woman?
People complain about bad movies, then they make this kind of stuff number one at the box office. I don't get it. Has there EVER been a good movie that centered on a male comic dressing up as an old lady?
Don't say Mrs. Doubtfire, unless you want me to label you as Mr./Ms. Doubtsanity.
Posted by LYT at 10:32 PM | Comments (17)
Ketchum if you can
Chirs Sivertson's movie THE LOST now has an official website
Posted by LYT at 5:56 AM | Comments (0)
Ladies, wear my name on your underwear
Posted by LYT at 3:56 AM | Comments (4)
January 27, 2006
Not enough disposable income for this collectible
But man, it's a thing of beauty. "Life-size" too.
Posted by LYT at 4:05 PM | Comments (3)
January 26, 2006
Touch Me, I'm Sick
As sicknesses go, though, this is more or less the best kind, and it makes me appreciate working at home. I can sleep all day, and write during the fitful night.
Only problem is I need to call my mother in the UK and our schedules are now quite literally like day and night. Can someone tell her I'm coming in February, booked flight and all?
Posted by LYT at 10:12 PM | Comments (6)
Alphaville
Sean posted this 26 meme, which I guess is to name 26 movies, each beginning with a different letter of the alphabet, that I could watch repeatedly.
A - Aliens (theatrical cut)
B - Beetlejuice
C - Cool as Ice
D - Dr. Otto and the Riddle of the Gloom Beam
E - Eraserhead
F - Flash Gordon
G - Gone With the Wind
H - Hellraiser
I - Island of Dr. Moreau
J - The Jacket
K - Killer Klowns From Outer Space
L - Lost Highway
M - May
N - Nudist Colony of the Dead
O - On Deadly Ground
P - Pee-wee's Big Adventure
Q - The Quiet Earth
R - Robocop
S - Star Wars Episode III: revenge of the sith
T - Tamala 2010: A Punk Cat in Space
U - Until the Night
V - Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust
W - Wings (1922)
X - X-Men
Y - Yellow Submarine
Z - Zathura
It's harder than it looks...
Posted by LYT at 4:04 AM | Comments (14)
on tony pierce's advice...two things
one...yes, i do blog to get laid. and one day it will work.
two...i accept ads. click the blogads thing on the right hand side. 1,500 average readers a day.
Posted by LYT at 3:38 AM | Comments (13)
Fear the Reviews
"Caché is one of those rare movies that proves that less can indeed be more, if the writer-director knows what he's doing. The story mostly consists of very simple interior shots in a handful of locations, with no musical score, very minimal sound design, and one very basic special effect, if you can call it that. But it isn't lacking in the slightest, and it arguably achieves a greater creepiness than a story with, say, dungeons and boogeymen would."
"Here's a wild theory: Maybe Memoirs of a Geisha didn't do so well because we've been conditioned to think that Asian women painted white, far from being erotic fantasies, are actually the scariest freakin' evil spirits in the universe. Think about it: Ringu, The Grudge, A Tale of Two Sisters and Pulse all terrify you with images of white-painted Asian women, often walking with very stylized moves. (Could this be a variation on clown fear?) In Marebito (The Stranger From Afar), a Japanese horror movie shot in less than two weeks between directing Grudge sequels, Takashi Shimizu once again spins a yarn about a very pale Asian woman who's kinda scary. But she isn't a drowning victim, nor does she have long hair that covers her face. Thank heaven for new ideas."
short takes after the jump
NANNY MCPHEE
The “Lemony Snicket” movie may have been a disappointment in relation to cost, but that didn’t stop Universal from trying to clone it with this somewhat cheaper production based on a series of books by Christianna Brand about a character originally named Nurse Matilda. Like “A Series of Unfortunate Events”, this film from Kirk Jones (“Waking Ned Devine”) features a gifted thespian in frightening make-up who’s forced to play second fiddle to some rather uninteresting child actors in a garishly fake pseudo-Victorian setting (also, both movies feature animated end credits better than anything in the film itself). Here, the star is Emma Thompson, who also wrote the script -- she plays a slightly darker variation on Mary Poppins; a wart-encrusted nanny with supernatural abilities who manages to discipline a rowdy brood of brats when no-one else can, least of all their widower father (Colin Firth).
Thompson and Firth are fun, as is Angela Lansbury as Firth’s obnoxious rich aunt, but for the story to work, we have to sympathize with the kids at least a little bit, and that’s quite difficult here. Their dad may be a wee bit inattentive, but other than that, he’s too nice if anything. Certainly he doesn’t deserve the mayhem his children create, which comes across as purely malicious rather than gleefully anarchic. Not helping matters is the hideous art direction, which might best be described as Technicolor puke.
UNDERWORLD: EVOLUTION
Actually, given all the deliberate cross-breedings and mutations that take place in the story, this really should be called Underworld: Intelligent Design. I’ll be damned if I can remember half the insanely convoluted plot of the first Underworld; when you go to see a movie ostensibly about vampires and werewolves fighting each other, it’s annoying and distracting to instead get endless talk about family bloodlines. This sequel tries to refresh our memory, but Tolkien it ain’t. All you really need to know is that the heretofore unknown Original Bad-Ass Vampire (Tony Curran) has been unleashed, and he’s looking for his brother, the Original Bad-Ass Werewolf (Brian Steele), and damn the consequences. All that lies in his way are our supernatural lovers from the first film: vinyl-clad death-dealing vampire Selene (Kate Beckinsale), and hybrid vamp-wolf Michael (Scott Speedman). En route to the big tag-team main event, various peripheral characters must be contacted and further elements of pointless backstory uncovered, notably from a mysterious immortal (Derek Jacobi) who lives on a boat.
The whole thing unfolds like a video game, and would probably be more fun to play than to watch, though the proceedings are reasonably entertaining (more so than the first time around), especially when Curran’s character turns mutant and impales people with his wings. Guillermo del Toro routinely gets far more out of the sewers of eastern Europe than director Len Wiseman, but Wiseman got to bag Kate Beckinsale, so it’s doubtful that he cares about much else.
Posted by LYT at 1:12 AM | Comments (2)
January 25, 2006
SCREENING OPPORTUNITY
Final Destination 3, starring people you've never heard of and directed by Who Cares, Just Show Me Cool Death Scenes Already.
Thursday night Feb. 2
Posted by LYT at 4:17 PM | Comments (7)
January 24, 2006
Holy cow...
Chris Penn is dead.
There used to be a running joke at the Sunset about how Matt King and Chris Penn were "the same type of white guy."
But Matt's dropped some poundage since then. Chris, by the looks of things, never did.
It's a real shame to lose him. Given time, I like to imagine he would've had his own Sundance starring vehicle that would really prove what he could do.
Posted by LYT at 10:40 PM | Comments (2)
Shitload of new stuff in the Spreadshirt store
If you haven't looked lately...
Posted by LYT at 12:32 AM | Comments (2)
January 23, 2006
SCREENING OPPORTUNITY
This one is for tomorrow night, and I need to hear today. Last minute, but hey, these things are.
NIGHT WATCH, basically a big-budget Russian version of UNDERWORLD, and the first part of the most expensive Russian fantasy trilogy ever.
Posted by LYT at 3:35 PM | Comments (11)
Congratulations are in order
to my friend Matt Welch, who just got a pretty major job at the L.A. Times, to make the opinion page better.
Rumor has it he'll even sport the LYT-shirt at staff meetings from time to time, but that's unconfirmed.
I don't know how many of my regular readers are familiar with his work, but you oughta be.
Posted by LYT at 2:46 PM | Comments (1)
January 22, 2006
Brokeback Hogwarts
Not content to sound the hoary witchcraft alert, theologian Doug Phillips tries to make some kind of point by imagining what it would be like if Harry Potter were gay:
"But the race is on. A second witch training academy run by evil witches has also discovered their own homosexual predispositions. Unlike Hogwarts, they intend to use their homosexuality for evil. They teach their students evils like sexual promiscuity. They openly encourage pedophilia. It is the mission of Harry and his intrepid gang of sodomite warlocks and lesbian witches (dubbed “The Lavender Brigade”) to once again stop the menace of bad witches."
His thesis is that magic=evil=homos. But he has no problem with the use of magical creatures per se, because, y'know, they really do exist:
"The Bible begins[7] and ends[8] with revelations about talking animals, a fact which establishes beyond any doubt that the inclusion of talking animals in storytelling is not per se an abomination which assaults the very character of God. Similarly, dragons,[9] demons,[10] giants,[11] and unicorns[12] may be the stuff of fantasy lore, but they are also real creatures discussed, as such, in the Bible."
And he can't quite bring himself to cast aspersions on Lewis or Tolkien, since they were Christian:
"Bewitched — bad! Walt Disney’s Merlin from Sword in the Stone — bad! Glinda the Good Witch of Oz — bad! The White Witch of Narnia — not necessarily bad at all, because she is presented as the incarnation of evil. Gandalf? You will have to do the math yourself."
But he does explain, sort of, why nutso fringe Christians do not or cannot differentiate between fiction and reality:
"The character of God is challenged when we posit alternative realities which redefine the moral law order of God to allow men to delight in that which would be deemed wickedness in the real world. Creating worlds of good witchcraft versus bad witchcraft is a prime example of the problem. No such world can exist — anywhere — not even in our own imagination, without redefining the nature and attributes of God Himself."
I'd say read the whole thing, except that I've given you all the good parts.
Posted by LYT at 10:02 PM | Comments (5)
Captured on camera, Saturday night
Posted by LYT at 9:56 PM | Comments (2)
Feeling the competition?
Cafepress now has black T-shirts. You only get one at a time, so behold our first offering.
Also new in the store: Solid magnets (simialr to the flimsier ones I've given out for free) and gay light switch covers.
Posted by LYT at 8:05 PM | Comments (6)
It's gonna be the "Citizen Kane" of...
Have you heard about Bobcat Goldthwait's new movie? It's his second as director since SHAKES THE CLOWN, the infamous "Citizen Kane of alcoholic clown movies."
I'm not gonna spoil the surprise about his new one. Just read for yourself.
Posted by LYT at 7:17 PM | Comments (3)
January 21, 2006
Because insulting drawings just smack of conservatism
Did you know that the New York Times doesn't allow caricatures of famous people on its editorial page?
A rather humorous illustration of this policy in action is demonstrated by Tom Tomorrow, who felt the effects first-hand.
Posted by LYT at 1:40 PM | Comments (0)
January 19, 2006
Followup to that Ebert/White/Foundas critical smackdown
Scott Foundas responds in this week's LA Weekly. He has less of a sense of humor about it than Dave White.
But neither resorted to calling Ebert "fat ass." I probably would have if he'd tried to pick a fight with me. But I'm small potatoes next to Scott 'n' Dave.
Although Scott and I do now have the same bosses. What effect that will ultimately have on the Weekly, I still dunno.
Posted by LYT at 7:26 PM | Comments (2)
Doctor Whom?
Courtesy of Ben, I got my hands on some tapes of the new Dr. Who series. They've done right by the ol' Doc.
Dr. Who has been a fixture in the childhood of the last couple of generations in the UK and Ireland. The show began in 1963, and ran steadily for nearly 30 years. Then it vanished for a while, came back as an American TV movie, and seemed scheduled for a big-screen bow for a few years, but now it's back on TV. There's nothing in the new series to say for certain that the original 30-year continuity still holds, but nothing that denies it either. Though if it has been followed, there were some major events taking place in the Who-niverse, since last we saw it.
I didn't have a TV much when I was a kid, and when I did get one, it got just the Irish TV channels, and not the English ones. So I rarely saw Dr. Who on TV, but I did read all the novelizations in the library. Understand that Ireland was technologically behind the U.S., and the concept of renting videos was a rare luxury that rich friends had.
Anyway, the concept of the show was of a man called only The Doctor, a renegade Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey, who, like others of his kind, travelled through space and time in a device called a TARDIS that's inifinitely large on the inside, and can camouflage itself to look like anything on the outside. As punishment for being a maverick, though, The Doctor's version had been sabotaged so that it never went exactly where it was supposed to go, and was stuck in the form of a 1950s telephone booth.
The major problem with the new shows is that they're over in less than an hour. The original series had half-hour episodes, but a story arc that could last as many as 7 episodes, always ending in a cliffhanger until the last one. The mysteries were often as befuddling as those on LOST, but all would be revealed at the end of each arc. That isn't the case so much in a self-contained episode with no commercial breaks.
Christopher Eccleston nails the character, pretty much. The Doctor has always been a basically friendly type who's occasionally more excited than he should be by dangerous threats, and a little reckless in his excitement for science. Eclleston has that. All I take issue with is his wardrobe -- a black leather jacket over black clothes. Longtime fans may remember that archvillain The Master dresses like this. The Doctor is supposed to be a fashion disaster, throwing together eccentric ensembles cluelessly, ensuring that he doesn't fit in anywhere.
The Doctor is asexual, which may be why sci-fi nerds love him so much, and nearly always travels with a platonic female companion. This time out, it's some pop singer named Billie Piper, and I can't quite decide if she's hot or ugly. She looks like Agnes Bruckner got a face transplant from Fairuza Balk.
And the music -- man, it's just classic. That same theme tune has somehow managed to sound "futuristic" for some 40 years now.
As for those big continuity changes -- it seems the Time Lords are now extinct, as are their most famous foes, the Daleks. Seems a shame to rule them out of continuity, though with time travel, anything seems possible (though it was a "Time War" that wiped them both out, implying out of history too).
The new Who comes to the Sc-Fi channel pretty soon. I recommend it to all fans of the old -- the spirit of the thing is intact.
Posted by LYT at 4:43 PM | Comments (4)
Showtime = Pussies
How in the hell do you allow a bunch of guys known for horrific films to do an "uncensored" show called MASTERS OF HORROR, then pull the plug on one of them when he actually delivers something that horrifies?
Posted by LYT at 1:45 PM | Comments (4)
The New Reviews
"You know how people occasionally come out of epic movies like Malcolm X and The Return of the King and are all, Wow, that didn't seem like three hours at all? That won't be the case here -- The New World feels every bit of its two hours and 15 minutes (already shortened about 15 minutes from its original cut). It doesn't feel like time wasted, though. Everything is a visual feast, comparable in spectacle and wonder to any of the CGI fests we've seen in the past year. (It's all the more impressive if you can appreciate how cool it is that most of the film was shot using natural light.) "
Poke more hontas HERE
Some short takes after the jump
BROOKLYN LOBSTER
For his second dramatic feature, writer-director Kevin Jordan (Smiling Fish and Goat on Fire), once again “presented” by Martin Scorsese, draws on his own experiences in the lobster farming business. Danny Aiello stars as estranged patriarch Frank Giorgio, stuck in a tight spot when his wife (Jane Curtin) decides to move out at the same time as his bank defaults on a loan and forces the business on the auction block. Plus it’s Christmas and the usual family reunion tensions abound. There’s nothing radically unpredictable to the story, but Jordan draws so well on the idiosyncrasies of the family profession that it makes the movie worth watching, even if the “surprise” climax is overly telegraphed. Aiello’s perfectly cast as the gruff but caring grandpa, but lesser known cast members like Daniel Sauli (playing director Jordan, more or less), Heather Burns (as his fiancée) and Henry Yuk (as Aiello’s down-to-Earth, Brooklyn-accented Chinese friend) do strong work alongside him.
END OF THE SPEAR
In the 1950s, a group of missionaries ventured into the rain forests of Ecuador to make contact with the Waodani tribe, an infamously violent group who were on the verge of extinction due to their endless cycles of blood-feuds. The missionaries refused to fight back when cornered, and were killed; but later, their families followed in their footsteps to forgive the killers and live together in peace. Writer-director Jim Hanon has made this movie before, as the documentary Beyond the Gates of Splendor. It was a better film, as the excerpts from it at the end of this one show. There’s some nice photography, and Louie Leonardo makes a strong impression as Chief Mincayani, but the wall-to-wall “inspirational” soundtrack is unnecessary, as is the constant voice-over narration. Non-stop talk works for nonfiction, but for drama, Hanon doesn’t seem to know that less can be more. The true story is a powerful testimony to the wonders of faith and forgiveness; it doesn’t need special-effects visions of angels or giant snakes to “enhance” it.
LIVE FREAKY! DIE FREAKY!
Fans of MTV’s Celebrity Deathmatch -- in which claymation replicas of famous people mutilated one another in a wrestling ring -- are the most likely audience for this stop-motion puppet feature about the Manson family, starring the voices of Green Day, Rancid, The Transplants, John Doe, Jane Wiedlin, Theo Kogan, and Asia Argento. If you thought the puppet sex in Team America was graphic, this movie makes Trey and Matt’s marionettes look like SpongeBob SquarePants in comparison. The idea is clearly to incense cultural conservatives with non-stop foul language, blasphemy, and puppet snuff porn (and like many postmodern Manson romanticizations, the flick ignores the man’s ugly racism), but it’s all too silly to take seriously; an amusing dirty joke best suited for drunken college kids at midnight. Billy Joe Armstrong is hilariously over the top as “Charlie Hanson,” and Faith No More’s Roddy Bottum has composed some catchy songs. Written and directed by punk scenester John Roecker, it’d be really funny if this qualified for next year’s Best Animated Feature Oscar.
Posted by LYT at 1:50 AM | Comments (7)
January 18, 2006
Photos from that "Naked Beneath the Water" shoot
Sorry, no spittle in 'em that I can see.
Posted by LYT at 5:32 PM | Comments (3)
A Bryce Above Darkies: Ron Howard's daughter goes through Lars von Trier's wringer.
A lot of critics right now, including Ebert, are really high on the movie CRASH, whose thesis is that everyone in L.A., despite loving their family, is racist. If you thought that was "important," you'll love Lars von Trier's MANDERLAY, in which we learn that everyone in America is racist.
MANDERLAY is the sequel to DOGVILLE, in which Nicole Kidman learned that small-town Americans appear to be friendly but are actually small minded assholes, so she brought in her gangster daddy (James Caan) to kill everybody. MANDERLAY sees Kidman replaced by Bryce Dallas Howard (THE VILLAGE) and Caan replaced by Willem Dafoe, but it's still shot on an empty soundstage with partial sets and black outlines. Grace (Howard) and her pops are driving through the South when they come across a plantation called Manderlay, where no-one seems to have noticed that slavery has been abolished.
Tangent: When I hear the word "Manderlay," I think of my trip to Vegas with my friend Paul, and his common-man English-accented assertion that "Mandalay Bay is totally gay." When I asked why, he responded, "I dunno."
Anyway, Grace feels all empowered after Dogville, so she decides she's going to fix things for all the poor black people. Making the job appear easier, plantation owner Mam (Lauren Bacall) dies rather swiftly, so Grace takes over, frees the slaves, and gives them employee contracts. Dad warns her that the blacks aren't ready to be free, and soon takes off, leaving her half his goons for protection.
Without a schedule enforced on them, many of the slaves are confused, and Grace tries to introduce them to democratic voting, while toiling on the land herself. Over the course of the movie, she will deal with such hazards as disease, harsh weather, and racism. I won't spoil things too much the way DOGVILLE was for me, but at times it feels like a minimalist GONE WITH THE WIND.
Von Trier, who has never been to America but loves to bash it, seems to be taking equal opportunity political potshots. On the one hand, he mocks the "Bush doctrine" of imposing democracy at gunpoint on people who wouldn't necessarily have chosen it and may not be ready for it. On the other, he's mocking limousine liberals who think they know what's best for the underclasses, even if those underclasses disagree.
And I was with him all the way up until the end. This is not gonna be a plot spoiler -- my issue comes after the story is wrapped up, and narrator John Hurt makes a sarcastic comment about how there was (and is) no racism in America, and any problem that black people have is due to their rejection of the nation's outstretched hand. We segue immediately into a montage of KKK members, neo-Nazis, poor blacks, and George W. Bush, to the strains of David Bowie's "Young American."
I'll leave the issue of Bowie abuse to Gregory Weinkauf. I'll also note that former '60s radical Andy Klein responded to the end credits by saying "Do I deserve that?"
Okay, first of all, to imply that there's been no change in racism in America since slavery is nonsense. Secondly, as much as I hate Bush, the man has appointed two black secretaries of state, which is more than any of his predecessors can claim.
Thirdly, von Trier's as condescending as he depicts Americans -- every black person in MANDERLAY either wants to remain a slave, or is an aspiring criminal. He offers no answers; just mocks those who try to find them. The interracial sex scene (in which Bryce does full frontal nudity, if anyone's interested, and given her family pedigree she certainly didn't have to) is as stereotypical as it gets in depicting a white male fear of his woman being swept up by the sensual, big-dicked noble savage.
I get the sense that von Trier is looking and hoping to piss off Americans. If only he were more committed to telling a good story. I was with him 99%, but the stupid last-minute USA bashing pissed me off.
Howard, though, continues to prove herself. This performance is totally different from her work in THE VILLAGE, which featured that awful twist ending but also has one of the best "Mars/Venus" exchanges ever committed to film, when she asks Joaquin Phoenix "Why can you not say what is on your mind?" and he replies "Why can you not stop saying what is on yours?" Every straight couple has wondered such things.
If any of my non-white readers see MANDERLAY, I'd love to hear an opinion.
Posted by LYT at 1:19 AM | Comments (24)
January 17, 2006
Success Story
So you think those street performers on Santa Monica's Third Street Promenade have no future?
I remember a few years back when I used to hang out there, before they closed all the good stores. There was this one girl of about ten who used to belt out Jewel songs on a mini P.A. system. Had a decent voice, but tended to repeat the same few numbers over and over. Struck me as insufferably precocious like so many Star Search types, but I figured this would probably be the highlight of her life.
Boy, was I wrong on that. And boy, did I underestimate her talent.
Posted by LYT at 1:45 PM | Comments (1)
News of the Nutty
Eminem has remarried his ex-wife Kim, the one he repeatedly fantasizes about beating up and killing in song. Remarrying an ex-wife you've had that much acrimony towards isn't always the best idea, from what I've seen. Maybe he is really done with performing -- eliminating the anti-Kim songs cuts down on a lot of the good stuff.
Meanwhile, New Orleans mayor Ray Nagin said something about Hurricane Katrina being a result of God getting mad at black people. I guess God and George Bush really are on the same page then, huh, Ray?
Posted by LYT at 1:37 PM | Comments (3)
January 16, 2006
Worst year for the CD industry ever
That's what some dude on talk radio said, and I believe everything I hear on the AM dial.
The usual culprits are brought up, mainly Napster and Itunes. But then the guy made a comparison between Green Day then and now, noting that American Idiot is one of the huge sellers of 2005, yet it only sold a third of what Dookie did.
The difference there, it seems to me, is obvious and unmentioned. It's MTV.
When Dookie came out, MTV still played music videos most of the time. MTV and KROQ and mainstream culture and alternative culture were at a brief moment of unprecedented crossover, and Green Day were perfect representatives of that. My thoroughly unconformist punk rock friend Dave Roche owned a Green Day shirt, and so did many fratboys and teenage girls.
Now? MTV doesn't play videos except late at night, when its target demographic is probably either sleeping or studying for tests. M2 plays videos, but who gets that channel? I don't, and I live in the entertainment capital of the world.
Without TV pushing bands on the audience via videos, sales will go down. It's not the same watching stuff on computer, because then you have to go looking for what you want, and taking the time to download. At its best, MTV introduced people to new bands, even as it pushed familiar ones forever and ever.
Now MTV pushes reality TV. And hey, reality TV is huge. What does that tell you?
Posted by LYT at 6:21 PM | Comments (18)
Forbidden blog words and phrases 2006
I'll do this every year if there's enough material. Last year's list can be found HERE.
-moonbat
-wingnut
-tinfoil hat
-deranged
-unhinged
-paradigm
-New Media
-Open Source Media
-Open Sores Media
-wanker
-"The New York Times' agenda"
-"Robert KKK Byrd"
-"nuculer"
-"lizardoid"
-pajamas
-neocon
-"Scalito"
-"turning the corner"
-"Bill O'Reilly"
-"gay cowboy movie"
-"It's not a gay story, it's a HUMAN story" (and all variants thereof)
-appeasement
-appeasenik
-apparatchik
-Sunni Shiite Triangle
-World War IV
Posted by LYT at 4:45 PM | Comments (12)
A set report that probably tells you nothing
Yesterday, I put in an appearance in another movie. I don't know what it's called, or even what the story is.
What I do know is that it's directed by Sean Cain, the editor on HOLLYWOOD CONFIDENTIAL, and most of that movie's cast appear in some form. Me included, now.
All I know is this: The scene involves a character named The Shaver, who has just blown up a house, and meets throngs of adoring fans outside on his way to the limo. But one fan is not so adoring.
That's right. Me.
Using the Stanislavski Method to draw on my experience as a wrestling fan, I cursed him out for a few minutes, calling him an S.O.B. and worse, until spittle hung from my lower lip. I think I got a close-up out of the deal.
And then I was done. Now wasn't that an exciting report? I don't have any pictures, sorry.
But exciting things may be in the works. Things I could tell you in conversation, but cannot speak of in a public forum...
Posted by LYT at 4:28 PM | Comments (4)
MLK
Tom Tomorrow linked to this amusingly appropriate video.
I can't do any better than that.
Just one thing to think about, though -- of the people who DO have to work today, what percentage of those would you guess are black?
Posted by LYT at 1:24 PM | Comments (2)
January 14, 2006
Masters of Horror: Sick Girl. My biased review
The AICN talkbackers are already chiming in. Among the quotes:
"Who would've guessed that Misty would be so much better than Angela Bettis, who seemed to be channeling Velma from Scooby Doo?"
"I agree about Bettis, she looked like an amateur next to Misty."
Far from true, in my opinion, but interesting the perceptions there. I understand how Angela's performance is a little jarring at first -- I remember the first day I heard her doing that voice and thinking, "Well, that's a little over the top." But when I saw the performance in its entirety, I didn't feel that at all. I think any small snippet of it is going to come off as odd, but the big picture is very human. And that's one of the things that makes her a superior performer -- she can keep the big picture in her head at all times.
To me, the episode felt too fast, like it was rushing to hit all the plot points without giving the drama time to breathe. The one-hour timeslot isn't negotiable, but I really would like to see a slightly longer version on the DVD. There aren't any key plot points or scenes missing from what was aired (except a minor bit of backstory with the coke-snorting waiter), but I think the pace could stand to be slower, and people would appreciate Angela's performance more. There are so many little things she does with her eyes and small gestures that I think people are missing because there isn't time to notice them.
But I don't disagree with the AICN guys as regards the quality of Erin's performance -- she was great. And remember that good acting also means making your costar look good; I think Erin knew she had to step up to Angela's game, and brought it. In Erin's early scenes, where she's nervously sketching in the lobby, I see echoes of some of Angela's early scenes in MAY. But that might be because I think I may have known someone at USC who might have partially inspired that characterization.
As for Jesse, whose performance puts the "lube" in "Hlubik," I need only defer to what Lucky said about him on set: "He's our Bruce Campbell."
The addition of Zach Passero's animation was a genius touch, a dose of weirdness that just comes outta nowhere.
And Lucky's direction is full of smart choices, not all of which were picked up on by me the first time. The way, during an argument scene, Erin's shots are handheld and Angela's are static; or the way, during the first date, that every cut-to-closeup gets progressively closer.
And the general theme of the episode -- I guess it goes without saying the degree to which I can relate with the story of someone who has dating trouble in part because of introvertedness, but also because of a hobby or interest that others find weird and disconcerting. Of course, as in MAY, when she finds someone who accepts the weirdness, it turns out to be so much more weird than one could have imagined.
Anyway, fantastic job, everyone. Even with my problems with the pace, I can't say I'd have edited any differently given time constraints.
Posted by LYT at 4:27 PM | Comments (2)
January 13, 2006
You may have already noticed, but...
The Masters of Horror gallery is live on this site's image page
Note: If you are a webmaster who would like to use any of the photos, you can. All I ask is that you credit me as the photographer, and link back to this site.
Posted by LYT at 7:03 PM | Comments (1)
MASTERS OF HORROR new exclusive image
I didn't take this photo -- it was leaked by an anonymous source.
Those of you who come to this blog via the front page have seen it already.
Those who haven't -- this is in some ways the money shot of the film.
If you're able to watch the show tonight, I suggest not looking until afterwards.
Are you sure you want to see?
Posted by LYT at 6:05 PM | Comments (3)
M.O.H. related - slightly
I've been asked before, and will probably be asked again, why, when I mention Erin Brown, I don't refer to her well-known former stage name of Misty Mundae.
Simple, really. I never met this "Misty Mundae" person. I've never seen her movies. The person I was introduced to on the set of THE LOST was named Erin. The Erin Brown I know doesn't go by that other name or even have the rights to use it any more.
Obviously I'm not stupid here - they are both the same person. But one is a real human being, and the other doesn't seem to be.
Posted by LYT at 5:59 PM | Comments (1)
I've always said...
...people who bookmark the blog of this site, rather than going through the front page, are missing out...
never truer than today.
Posted by LYT at 4:09 PM | Comments (2)
Wednesday's teaser image revealed
Posted by LYT at 2:09 PM | Comments (2)
This really short review isn't bylined, but I wrote it (except for one line)
Posted by LYT at 1:40 PM | Comments (2)
January 12, 2006
Hate mail of the day...
In comments underneath the Bloodrayne review, a couple posts down.
(note: comments are disabled on this post, to avoid confusion. Might as well keep any relevant thoughts to the Bloodrayne thread).
Posted by LYT at 5:14 PM
Movie critic quote smackdown
A narrative in quotes. I've never met Ebert, but cosider White and Foundas friends.
DAVE WHITE on Crash: ""Kids, racism is really really really bad and wrong. Look, just watch this heavy, important movie about how everyone who lives in Los Angeles -- all 12 of them -- is super racist and awful; it's really funny when Hollywood decides to tackle a serious moral issue and throw star-powered weight behind something that everyone but Neo-Nazis agrees on already."
ROGER EBERT, on White's quote above: "How glib, how smug, how insular. It is almost impossible these days to get financing and backing for any sort of serious film; White seems to think Hollywood makes them for fun."
EBERT on Scott Foundas, same article: "Foundas is too cool for the room. He is so wise, knowing and cynical that he can see through "Crash" and indulge in self-congratulatory superiority because he didn't fall for it."
WHITE on Ebert's piece: "Contemplated emailing Roger Ebert to thank him for the excellent laugh but then I didn't because he's got a thinking problem if he thinks I'm a real enough film critic to start beef with. Scott Foundas, of the LA Weekly, who RE also lambasted in his "Crash" commentary piece? Yes, Scott Foundas is a genuine serious film critic. I am a goof who smart-alecked his way into a job where I'm allowed and encouraged to interrupt a "review" to talk about how Linda Hunt once almost ran me over with her car. Real film critics don't do that shit."
genuine serious film critic SCOTT FOUNDAS on Last Holiday: "Queen Latifah gives a spectacular performance in this hugely enjoyable wish-fulfillment fantasy"
Ebert's married to a black woman who'd probably kick his ass if he disses Latifah. What's Scott's excuse?
Posted by LYT at 1:46 PM | Comments (1)
More reviews
"When a movie promises that a character played by Queen Latifah may well die during the course of the action, one might hope that the movie in question is Hostel, so that she could be beaten a few times and then dismembered, ideally by someone who sat through The Cookout, Taxi, Bringing Down the House, or Beauty Shop."
What can I say, not a fan. If you are, you might not wish to read the rest.
And a short take on GRANDMA'S BOY
When his hooker-addicted roommate defaults on the rent, 36-year-old videogame tester/pothead Alex (Allen Covert) is kicked to the curb, eventually finding a spare room at his grandma’s house, where he’s forced to do old-fashioned chores while on a deadline to finish debugging a new game.
Grandma’s Boy isn’t as bad as it sounds, but the shame is that there’s a lot of potential here for a really good movie that remains unrealized. Adam Sandler produced it for his regular costars Covert (who also coscripted) and Peter Dante (as Alex’s monkey-obsessed dealer), who just aren’t leading-man material; director Nicholaus Goossen is Covert’s former assistant.
Covert and cowriters Nick Swardson and Barry Wernick clearly understand the gamer/geek milieu, and their 30-year-old virgins are more believable as characters than Judd Apatow’s recent 40-year-old model; unfortunately, they forgot to add the jokes. As the nerd-friendly babe of a boss, Linda Cardellini steals the show with a drunken karaoke version of Salt ’N’ Pepa’s “Push It,” but Joel David Moore is heinously miscast as a goofy über-dweeb with a Matrix fetish and a half-robot split personality – a character that needed to be played by someone who could add either more exaggerated self-righteousness (Jon Heder?) or Zen cool (Keanu Reeves would have been great, if perhaps a bit old).
Hanging out with guys like these seems like it would be fun, but in real life you wouldn’t have to buy a $10 ticket, plus parking, and you might get an actual contact high.
Posted by LYT at 2:48 AM | Comments (2)
Composite review: BLOODRAYNE
I did a couple of "short takes" on this new disasterpiece for a couple of different publications; here, for the first time, I've amalgamated them into one piece.
Despite a track record of some of the worst movies ever created, “Dr.” Uwe Boll (House of the Dead, Alone in the Dark) somehow continues to obtain the movie rights to popular video games and film them on the cheap. His latest, Bloodrayne, is based on a game that pits a vampire secret agent against mutant-manufacturing Nazis; Boll and screenwriter Guinevere Turner (American Psycho) have decided to make his movie a prequel set in medieval times.
By “medieval times,” of course, we mean that particular era of European history that goes unmentioned in most history books, when Transylvanians had either American accents or laughably fake English ones, noblemen dressed like either Mozart or King Charles II, and every woman had free access to breast implants. Vampire kings ruled the land, and some of them were stupid enough to install windows in their castles despite the fact that sunlight is absolutely fatal to them. And a human-vampire hybrid called a Dampir, resembling an impossibly hot fashion model (Kristanna “The Terminatrix” Loken), was able to kick all kinds of ass, yet inexplicably managed to be held captive by an obese circus ringmaster for years.
Boll does all his casting at the last minute, a technique that enables him to snag big-name actors without giving them much time to think things over. Here, he has obtained Michael Madsen, Ben Kingsley, Billy Zane, Udo Kier, Meat Loaf, Michelle Rodriguez, Michael Pare, and Matt Davis, not all of whom seem fully in on the joke. Madsen sports a mullet, Kingsley looks like Salieri, Rodriguez pathetically attempts an English accent, Meat Loaf wears a powdered wig, blood gushes from slashed throats, and the Terminatrix shows her breasts. Honestly, what more do you want from a medieval vampire movie?
Throats are slit, bosoms are bared, and though the plot makes no sense, the film is technically competent, which is a first for Dr. Boll. His name strikes fear into the hearts of many moviegoers, but he is gradually getting slightly better, having apparently learned, at long last, the importance of both good lighting and pointing the camera at the actors. The production values found in Romania are nice, and the cast are enjoyably goofy, some apparently without realizing it (Billy Zane appears to be in a completely different movie, playing a character who's elaborately set up with no pay-off whatsoever). It’d be a stretch to call the movie good, but at least it’s fun-bad.
Posted by LYT at 12:32 AM | Comments (18)
January 11, 2006
Reminder - Upcoming on LYTrules.com
Day after tomorrow is the premiere of "Masters of Horror: Sick Girl" on Showtime.
So sometime on Friday, I will be posting all the spoiler-laden photos I took on set. These are exclusive images that have not been seen anywhere except on my home monitor and the camera's viewfinder.
You might want to watch the episode first.
But if you'd like a teaser, an image that I've made quite a bit more ambiguous than it'll actually be in the end, click the More link.
Posted by LYT at 5:02 PM | Comments (9)
January 10, 2006
And this is one of the reasons to love L.A.
In what other city can you be eating really good yellowtail sushi before a movie, and strike up a conversation with the only other guy in the place, and he turns out to be the co-writer of one of your all-time favorite movies?
Posted by LYT at 10:43 PM | Comments (1)
Max Mohr's motion picture starring debut
The first theatrical release from WWE films is coming, and the trailer is online now.
Looking good, and Max is taller than I remember. Must be the New England air.
Posted by LYT at 4:22 PM | Comments (2)
Just curious
Any of my readers know much about still photography -- the old, non-digital kind?
Specifically, stuff about developing photos, older processes, etc., dating as far back as the old metal plates and as recent as the immediate pre-digital era.
I need some knowledge for an upcoming writing project.
Posted by LYT at 1:15 PM | Comments (5)
SCREENING OPPORTUNITES
Please note that both of these are MID-AFTERNOON and will not work if you have a 9-5 type job.
BUBBLE, directed by Steven Soderbergh and starring an all-unknown cast of non-actors, this Thursday. (Bonus on Bubble: come with me to a Press Club panel on the Black Dahlia murders afterwards, if you like.)
MANDERLAY, Lars von Trier's sequel to DOGVILLE with Bryce Dallas Howard in the Nicole Kidman role. A week from today, Jan 17.
Posted by LYT at 12:30 PM | Comments (2)
MUNICH
Though the chorus of coughs made the viewing experience less optimal than I would have liked, I figure I might as well weigh in with my impressions. I will be dealing in some SPOILERS, for the following reasons:
1. Every other review I've read has given away the scenes I'll be mentioning.
2. You've had time to see this movie already if you really wanted to.
3. While dramatic license is surely taken, most key plot points follow the historical record.
Ready?
The plot of MUNICH, as you undoubtedly know by now, is that, at the 1972 Olympics, the Israeli team were taken hostage by Palestinian terrorists. When an attempt was made to rescue the hostages, they were all killed, and the group responsible, Black September, was put on the map as a viable terror threat. In retaliation, the Israeli government ordered hits on all those responsible for planning the Olympic attack. This movie is the story of the team that carried out the hits.
By movie logic, the idea of taking out the baddies responsible for ordering murder is commonplace and normal, and in the context of an action movie, sufficiently justifiable. The thing is that this is based on reality, and some of us who are cool with eye-for-an-eye justice in the movies don't so much agree with it in real life. But MUNICH, after playing like a spy/war movie, then gets into the shell-shock/postwar experience. Those who don't like the movies politics argue either that it's wrong to have the Israeli assasins be sympathetic, or (on the other side) that it's wrong to show them having troubled consciences for assassinating terrorists.
But this isn't a new thing. Virtually every war movie that's based on a real war features some crusty old veteran who says stuff like "Killing a man kills a part of your conscience, and you'll never be the same afterwards." Even when justified, killing someone almost always has an effect on the one who pulls the trigger. And in this case, it's a mixture of conscience and paranoia that someone else will always be out for revenge. Everyone I've ever known who's killed someone has been haunted to some degree.
Our main hero is Avner (Eric Bana), and if there is a major misstep in the movie, it's that Avner as depicted is pretty generic. The rest of his team all have defining traits -- the stone cold killer (Daniel Craig), the guy with misgivings who nonetheless always does the job (Ciaran Hinds), the accidental bomb-maker (some actor I don't know), the impatient bald dude, etc. But Avner's boring. He has a dying dad whom we never see, and a kid on the way, but that's about it.
A lot of the movie is like Mission: Impossible, with these guys trying to find the baddies and kill them without a hitch, which is tough because all of the team are new to this kind of thing. But as the mission progresses, things get tougher and tougher, and people start to turn on them, and Avner gets super-paranoid, with some justification.
Steven Spielberg, as always, is slick as hell, and keeps things compulsively watchable. But as is the norm with Steve nowadays, he's also too damn long. Someone needs to tell him that editing can be his friend. What was the last Spielberg movie that came in under 2 hours? Regardless, I like this better than I have any of his stuff since A.I. (which I loved and no-one else did). Catch Me If You Can was a lot of fun, but too damn long.
Spielberg shows an interesting touch of self-deprecation when he has Avner say to his wife something like "You are my home," and she responds that he's being corny. Glad you know it, Steve. "Home" is the theme of most every Spielberg flick that isn't Indiana Jones, and it's pushed here repeatedly. Everyone involved, be they Jew, Arab, civilian, or agent, just wants a home, and will do anything for it. Be nice if Spielberg trusted us to get this message without rubbing it in, but let's just say he's taking baby steps as regards his notoriously low level of subtlety. When we hear, early on, an account of an agent so paranoid he sleeps in the closet, you just know Avner will eventually do the same thing.
The worst unsubtle touch is the last shot of the film, which lingers on the World Trade Center. I'm convinced that a lot of the controversy would be diffused if he had cut that one shot.
And then there's the controversial climax, which intercuts a paranoid Avner fucking his wife with our first detailed look at the events in Munich. This sequence feels dishonest -- it implies that Avner is remembering the events, but he wasn't there. He should be flashing back to killing people, stuff he remembers that haunts him. And there's no compelling narrative reason to wait the whole movie to show us such a thing. It could have been shown at the beginning without changing any sympathies in my mind.
My gripes are minor, though -- as a film, this is pretty solid, if overlong in obvious ways. I guess my political sympathies are very Hollywood left-wing, though it seems to me the Israelis are most definitely the heroes onscreen -- if they weren't, why bother showing them to have consciences? The movie's ultimate point, it seems to me, is one that history is bearing out, that the Israeli-Palestinian conflict is an endless cycle of violence that no-one seems able to crack, and it's impossible to tell whether vengeance or higher-mindedness is the preferable course of action.
More immediately, though, it's an action/suspense movie that lets you enjoy the conventions of the genre, then keeps going where others would stop, to show you the long-reaching effects of the action on those involved. I still wish Avner had more character traits, but maybe he's supposed to be a cipher, an everyman. I liked watching his team a lot.
Better than Schindler's List, anyway.
Posted by LYT at 2:15 AM | Comments (3)
January 9, 2006
Mutant kitten with one eye and no nose
I'm not kidding.
You have been warned.
CLICK HERE to see
(thanks to gonzo at the RTM forum)
Posted by LYT at 11:17 PM | Comments (6)
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
If you have a loud-ass recurring cough that you cannot fucking stifle or mute in any way, please stay the fuck away from a movie theater, or anywhere else where people are expected to be quiet, for that matter.
Honestly. Worse than fucking cell phones. People think it's okay just because it's involuntary.
Posted by LYT at 7:29 PM | Comments (8)
Good thing for ReJeKt that we know who he is...
I posted this at Pererro also, but it's something everyone should be concerned with.
It is now A CRIME to be annoying on the Internet without also revealing your true identity. "Annoying" being in the eye of the beholder.
It's ostensibly to prevent stalking, but something's deeply wrong about this.
(hat tip: Atrios)
Posted by LYT at 12:43 PM | Comments (3)
January 8, 2006
Blast from the past
Luke Thompson and David Senior, classmates at The High School, Dublin, 1985-1989.
Had I stayed, I would have been Class of 1991. There was a 10-year reunion held on September 15, 2001. Needless to say, getting a flight to Ireland was not feasible at that time.
D.S. and I were arch-tormentors of a guy named Ian -- turns out that years later, Ian and Dave shared an apartment in Germany, where they got drunk repeatedly. Happy endings are good.
Posted by LYT at 2:06 AM | Comments (3)
January 7, 2006
Crunchy like silk
Every time I go out with my friends Greg and Christine to authentic Koreatown places, I hope the live tentacles will be on the menu. I've been disappointed every time, so I decided to try something else unusual this go around.
But first, the place...
[WARNING: Anyone easily grossed out should NOT click the "More" link below...]
Everyone inside was Korean. There was no English on the menu. Greg mentioned something about the interiors having been used as part of the set for M*A*S*H
So, can anyone identify this dish I ordered?
You see those brown things that look vaguely like kidney beans? They're SILKWORMS.
YUM!
MMMM-MM Good!
Greg and Christine claim they're very good for cleaning up your digestive system. They buy silkworm juice for around $100 a case. It also endows them with super-speed, as seen in this next picture:
So how do they taste? Probably not too different than what you might expect. They're very dry, but not super-crunchy dry, more like a stale dry. Not a very strong taste, easily bearable but not especially delicious. The chilis in the soup were intense, though, and I coudn't eat the whole thing in one go.
So I brought the rest home!
Wanna come over and try some?
Posted by LYT at 11:50 PM | Comments (19)
Uhhh...what?
Roger Simon thinks that saying bad things about George W. Bush to kids is a form of child abuse.
Posted by LYT at 12:31 AM | Comments (4)
January 6, 2006
Movieguide doesn't disappoint on HOSTEL (Updated)
I was expecting Tom Snyder to hate it, and of course he did.
But that's not all. He then calls for Eli Roth to be arrested and put on death row, after which he backtracks a little bit and admits that, of course, it would be better if he could just be converted to Christianity instead.
I don't know Eli as well as some of my friends do, but I suspect he's the kind of guy who might actually put Snyder's review on the DVD box.
UPDATE: Interesting. The bit about death row is no longer there. This review is now drastically shorter than the one I read earlier. I've been trying to see if any search engines have the first draft cached, but no luck.
This isn't the first time Movieguide has done an about face. Snyder initially liked Million Dollar Baby, praising its Christian worldview, but then Baehr overruled him with a new review once it became clear that the right-wing position on the movie was negative.
Posted by LYT at 5:19 PM | Comments (4)
SCREENING OPPORTUNITY
Tristan and Isolde, Wednesday night, is open again. Post below with your email if you're into going.
Same rules: I or a friend of mine must know you from somewhere.
Posted by LYT at 4:25 PM | Comments (2)
January 5, 2006
Pat Robertson opens mouth, inserts foot...again
And this time he's basically saying that God hates his friend.
It should really only be news at this point when Pat Robertson says something that ISN'T stupid.
Posted by LYT at 4:45 PM | Comments (8)
Jon Stewart will host the Oscars this year
Seems like a good choice, right?
But just check out the comments below the article announcing him. You'd think they'd announced Fidel Castro or something.
Posted by LYT at 2:09 AM | Comments (5)
Thursday review short take - HOSTEL
CABIN FEVER director Eli Roth may not be the most artistic film-maker out there, but he knows what he likes. The first half-hour of his latest features a bevy of bare-boobied babes; then after a bit of plot (American tourists go to Eastern Europe for sex, and encounter trouble), he gets on to the semi-serious business of making all his characters vomit and get dismembered. As in Cabin Fever, there are also some surreal scenes of frighteningly weird children. The score is never less than bombastic, and the profanity is constant. The tone isn’t always consistent, veering from the silly to the psychotic, but that may be the idea -- when gonzo Japanese director Takashi Miike cameos as himself, you know where Roth’s inspiration came from. Jay Hernandez is occasionally weak as a lead, but by the film’s climax, he and the movie have settled into a tense groove. If you’re the sort of guy who can laugh at extreme tits ‘n’ gore, this is awesome. If not, steer clear.
Posted by LYT at 1:55 AM | Comments (1)
January 4, 2006
Vote for LYT!
The nominations for the 2006 Weblog Awards are being solicited. Vote for this site in is many categories as appropriate, and Pererro as best group blog!
And you can get your official "Vote for LYT" shirt HERE
Posted by LYT at 10:51 PM | Comments (1)
Watch Bill O'Reilly get grilled by Letterman
It's pretty funny.
Posted by LYT at 4:56 PM | Comments (3)
How are movie trailers made?
Very interesting article over at Hollywood Bitch Slap that I heartily recommend reading.
Posted by LYT at 4:02 PM | Comments (2)
New meme
Thought i'd start one of my own blog survey deals. This one is designed to force "nonconformists" into admitting a certain degree of mainstream bias.
FAVORITE ELECTED POLITICIAN: Henry Waxman
FAVORITE 2008 CANDIDATE FOR PRESIDENT THAT ACTUALLY HAS A REALISTIC CHANCE: John Edwards
FAVORITE 2005 MOVIE TO FEATURE BIG BUDGET COMPUTER-GENERATED EFFECTS: Star Wars Episode III
TACO BELL or JACK-IN-THE-BOX: Taco Bell
FAVORITE FAST FOOD ITEM THAT DOESN'T INVOLVE BUNS, FRIES, SALADS, OR TORTILLAS: Jack-in-the-box stuffed jalapenos
BRITNEY, MANDY, OR ASHLEE: Britney forever
VANILLA ICE, SNOW, or MARKY MARK: Vanilla Ice, word.
BILL O'REILLY or SEAN HANNITY: O'Reilly
FLAVOR OF COKE OR PEPSI THAT HASN'T BEEN TRIED YET BUT SHOULD BE(tried: lemon, vanilla, black cherry vanilla, lime, coffee): peach
WORST SNL ALUMNUS: JOE PISCOPO, CHRIS KATTAN, MOLLY SHANNON? Chris Kattan, and longtime readers know why.
JACK DANIELS, JIM BEAM, OR OLD FORRESTER: Jack daniels
STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN OR THE ROCK?: Austin
MOVIE STAR YOU'D MOST LIKE TO GET IT ON WITH: Carla Gugino
MEL GIBSON OR GEORGE CLOONEY: Gibson
TOM CRUISE OR JOHN TRAVOLTA: Tough call, but Cruise.
ROB SCHNEIDER OR DAVID SPADE: Schneider.
BEAVIS OR BUTT-HEAD: Beavis.
FAVORITE BAND IN HEAVY ROTATION AT KROQ/MTV: System of a Down.
HE-MAN OR OPTIMUS PRIME: He-Man.
HOT TOPIC OR THE GAP: Hot Topic.
FAVORITE RAW SHELLFISH: sea urchin.
REJEKT OR DAVID N. SCOTT: Only one First! choice.
Answer on your own blog or below.
Posted by LYT at 4:03 AM | Comments (16)
January 3, 2006
Quentin Tarantino has clout
I can't imagine any other possible reason HOSTEL managed to squeak by with an R-rating.
Movieguide's Tom Snyder was in attendance. Can't wait for that review.
Posted by LYT at 11:37 PM | Comments (3)
SCREENING OPPORTUNITY
I'm gonna try this for a while, see how it plays. Basically, I get to bring a guest to every screening. Usually, whoever I think to invite says "I can't."
So from time to time, I'm just gonna put some up for grabs. I am not looking for a date like I was with Kong. The only rule is that I have to know you somehow, whether we met in person or only know each other's Internet aliases. If you're a friend of a friend, that's okay too. But meeting total strangers doesn't strike me as a good idea.
be the first eligible person to respond, leave your email, and I'll contact you with further info. If you then back out, I'll delete your first response and we can start again. Be advised that I can bring ONE guest only, unless it's an indie/arthouse in which case there may be some flexibility.
So, the first screening opportunity is...
TRISTAN AND ISOLDE, directed by Kevin Reynolds, satrring James Franco, next Wednesday night, the 11th.
Posted by LYT at 4:06 PM | Comments (6)
Coming Soon
With other sites talking about their most anticipated movies for 2006, I thought I'd take a moment to look ahead to the top ten 2006 movies involving me and friends of mine.
1. MAD COWGIRL. Premiering in February, and likely playing a few more festivals, this is the movie that provided most of 2005's brightest moments for me. Featuring a cast that includes not only name actors like James Duval, Walter Koenig, Sarah Lassez, and Devon Odessa, but also me, Douglas, Edwin, Justin Stone, John Daily, James Duval's mom, and even my mom! The crew are like family, and we're all really proud of this.
2. ROMAN. It's official -- I'm not in the final cut of this movie at all. But that shouldn't stop you from seeing Angela Bettis' directorial debut, and Lucky McKee's first lead performance. His leading ladies are BAD NEWS BEARS' Nectar Rose and Kristen "Veronica Mars" Bell. "Lucky" is the word, indeed.
3. BRICK. Rian Johnson's directorial debut played Sundance last year, and gets a national release in March. Rian is the editing genius who has put the polish on numerous other movies, and now he takes the helm. Look for Jaye's old van somewhere in there.
4. THE LOST. It'll kick your ass. Chris Sivertson is a twisted cat.
5. PAIN AND SUFFERING. The first half is done; the second will take longer, but we'll finish this by year's end. And then you'll wish we hadn't.
6. UNTITLED NEXT GREGORY HATANAKA MOVIE. No details I can say, because I'm not even entirely sure which one of his pending projects will take precedence. But they're all good, and I daresay a new one will be wrapped by year's end.
6. THE WOODS. Maybe this year?
7. CABINET OF DR. CALIGARI. Lauren Birkell digitally inserted into an old silent movie. Just strange enough to work.
8. HOLLYWOOD CONFIDENTIAL. It stars Jesse Hlubik, which is good enough even if I don't make the final cut.
9. HOLLYWOOD DREAMS. The Henry Jaglom movie that Douglas Dunning is allegedly in. That's a gruesome twosome.
10. That movie ghostboy and jmj are doing about tongue-piercing. Sorry guys, I can't recall the title just at the moment.
And that's not to mention the possibilities from Kevin Ford, Justin Stone, Eddie Steeples and several others.
Maybe even a new GAYMAN movie from The King?
What are you excited about, if anything?
Posted by LYT at 12:14 AM | Comments (12)
January 2, 2006
Reader feedback of the week
"if I were a hot chick I'd so be giving it up to you right now."
Posted by LYT at 11:49 PM | Comments (0)
Can you Baehr it?
leigh asks in a comment posted below: "And you read that lovely guy Ted Baehr, why? ...I once quoted this interview he did with this really awful, stereotypically schlocky producer I worked for,in her comments section. He was anything but moral or ethical or devout. He claimed he was discriminated against for his religious and conservative beliefs in a town that is intolerant of conservative and religious beliefs. He was a terrible person, one of the worst people I have ever known."
I'm sure other readers have wondered the same thing, and why I link to his stuff so much. So I'll answer.
First off, I don't deny he may be a bad person. His associate Tom creeps me out, and is the sort of guy you'd try to avoid at parties.
But here's why I read him:
1. I like movie critics of any kind who speak their mind, and do so with passion. I read way too many, amateur and pro, who are clearly writing what they think people want to hear or somehow expect, rather than what they really, truly think. Baehr's opinions may be insane, but they're what he really believes, and that comes across.
2. I'm consistently surprised and entertained by some of the wacky stuff he reads into things, like King Kong being a vegetarian diatribe, or The Girl Next Door being part of a cultural master plan to create a socialist utopia.
3. If I'm curious about whether or not anyone gets naked in a movie, his review will always tell me.
4. I frequently run into California conservatives who try to tell me that conservative Republicans are the ones who are logical, reasonable, and tolerant, in contrast to those wacky Marxist Democrats. Movieguide demonstrates for all the world some of the insanity, intolerance, and idiocy that many in their base believe, and couldn't do so any better if it were a left-wing plot.
5. I too tire of certain strident pundits on the right, but I've always had a fondness for the truly certifiable nutcases. Talking-point hacks like Huge Halfwitt bore me, but the late Wally George has long been one of my favorite entertainers. Cathy's commenter Mark is pretty consistently amusing too.
I hope that answers the question. And leigh, it goes without saying that I'd probably enjoy reading that interview.
Posted by LYT at 11:09 PM | Comments (7)
Email is down and Internet is slow
All because of a little rain. Well, actually, a lot of rain.
Posted by LYT at 12:20 PM | Comments (3)
January 1, 2006
Questions for you guys
A couple of movie-related issues that I'd like to hear opinions on...
1. Does the phrase "Based on a true story" make you more likely or less likely to see a movie? Or does it have no effect at all?
My answer: Less likely, as I prefer flights of fantasy to reality-based drama. However, studios seem to think the majority answer is "more likely," or they wouldn't sell you stuff like WOLF CREEK and DREAMER like that (both of those movies are inspired by news stories, but not based on any of the specifics, which could be said of many movies not promoted as "true.")
2. When studios know that they have a movie on their hands that just isn't good, they sometimes elect not to screen it for the press at all, so that no negative reviews will get out. Nowadays, however, especially with the Internet, it's usually well-known in advance that a certain movie will not be screened for critics, and as a result people tend to assume it will be bad.
My question: If you ran the studio, and could make the call on, say, GRANDMA'S BOY or BLOODRAYNE, would you choose to show it, knowing it'll get mostly bad reviews, or not show it, knowing that word will get around that it probably sucks as soon as your decision is known?
I'll say this: I think that if a movie is not screened for critics, the studio should forfeit the right to run critical quotes in the ads when one or two of them turn out to actually like it (see AEON FLUX). And I think STAY was hurt by not being shown. But is a bad review really going to change someone's mind about GRANDMA'S BOY one way or the other?
Posted by LYT at 11:47 PM | Comments (19)
w00t! Year it is.
If the dawning of the year truly sets the tone for what is to follow, this should be a good one indeed.
It's been raining heavily here, and I had a minor scare earlier in the day with my car skidding, but fortunately no-one was immediately close enough to it to get hit. I hit the brakes when a light suddenly changed, and the back of the car didn't want to stop.
After that, I made sure to monitor my alcohol consumption for the night very carefully.
Anyway, the first party I attended was literally all women except me. Oh, and John Daily showed up briefly, but he'll always be MY woman. Good "white trash" freezer foods, and we had some epic contests with DVD trivia games. Got my New Year's kiss too. It was good. I'll have to do that more.
Then, after returning home, I walked to the next party so that drink would not be an issue. And that was a wild party, with more totally plastered folks than I've seen in a long time. It's also the only party I've ever been to where it goes so far into the wee hours, that at the end of it the bars were open again, and we went to one that starts serving at 6 a.m. That's the kind of stuff I should have bene doing in college, but I get to do it now.
Today was pretty much chalked up to sleep. Maybe I'll catch a movie at the late show.
Posted by LYT at 9:57 PM | Comments (3)
Must-watch video for wrestling fans
Former New Age Outlaws B.G. James (Road Dogg) and Kip James (Bad Ass Billy Gunn) speak their mind about their former partner Triple H.
not work safe.
Posted by LYT at 7:31 PM | Comments (0)