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January 31, 2007
Molly Ivins has died
Texas' most irreverent liberal columnist, felled by the vicious beast that is cancer.
[via David Ehrenstein]
Posted by LYT at 8:34 PM | Comments (1)
The real Donnie Davis?
Looks like the actor behind that "God Hates Fags" video has been found
Posted by LYT at 3:54 PM | Comments (0)
January 30, 2007
BLOOD AND CHOCOLATE belated review
[I thought this would be appearing in some of the papers, but I can't find it online. So here.]
There’s no official rule which says that werewolf movies have to be boring, but it doesn’t seem like anyone has tried particularly hard in a long, long time. Needless to say, Blood and Chocolate does not buck the trend. Looking about as bored as the viewer is likely to feel, Agnes Bruckner goes through the motions as Vivian, a Hungarian-American werewolf in Bucharest, inexplicably falling for a dumb-ass comic-book artist named Aiden (Hugh Dancy) who looks more like a boy-band refugee than your typical geek. Were one able to muster up any kind of energy, there’s plenty that could be laughed at, from the fact that the head werewolf (Olivier Martinez) lives in an absinthe factory, to the circa-1980 transformations via camera dissolve, and the pathetic attempts at faking martial-art-du-jour Parkour. At one point, Aiden says to Vivian, “If you cared a goddamn thing about me, you’d have left me before we ever met!” Dear reader, if you care a goddamn thing about your evening’s entertainment, you’ll walk out of this howler before you ever buy a ticket.
Posted by LYT at 11:46 PM | Comments (2)
Feedback sought
Last year, I had 13 full-length reviews published in the OC Weekly.
I can submit four to the Press Club awards.
Regular site readers -- if it were up to you, which four on the list would you submit?
Posted by LYT at 5:41 PM | Comments (3)
January 28, 2007
For those who didn't see it before
Here, courtesy of Bradley J. Fikes, is my roasting of Cathy Seipp:
[The joke at the beginning is a bit clipped - I refer to Rob Long, as producer of CHEERS, being responsible for my drinking problem, by showing me a bar where no-one ever gets drunk or has health problems]
Posted by LYT at 3:02 AM | Comments (6)
The Ultimate Podcast
Guess who's podcasting now?
I don't normally listen to podcasts, but this one is pretty funny, not unlike the experience earlier this evening of seeing and hearing Tommy Wiseau reciting a Shakespeare sonnet.
Posted by LYT at 2:45 AM | Comments (0)
January 27, 2007
As a counterbalance...
Here's a picture of the forthcoming gayest action figure of all time...
Young Freddie Mercury! by NECA
Posted by LYT at 10:43 PM | Comments (5)
The gayest anti-gay video ever
I strongly suspect that this is an elaborate put-on. But whether it is or isn't, I think Robby the Redneck's favorite band has been discovered.
[via Poperratic, where Jaye also seems to have decided it's a hoax, and a couple other sites I don't remember]
Posted by LYT at 6:59 PM | Comments (13)
LYT's WWE adventure
So here's what went down this past week.
I was flown out to New York/JFK on Wednesday afternoon. Naturally, considering "technical difficulties" and whatnot, my 1:20 flight didn't leave till around 3:30. Which meant my flight got in at around 11 pm eastern.
Neither flight I was on departed on time. Going to NY, it was a case of the plane that was coming in being decommissioned, and a replacement being found, but the replacement needed to be properly repaired. They strung us along on that one for about 3 hours in increments of 25 minute delays. Coming back, there was a crack in the plane's windshield that had to be measured to see if it was within safety limits.
NY/JFK has security down pat and efficient. Unlike LA, where there were exactly TWO x-ray machines and ONE (yes, one) metal detector for everyone going to the American Airlines terminal. Plus they're stupid about stuff now. In the past, if I'd gone through the metal detector, had it beep, then realize it was my belt buckle, the inspector there would have examined the belt himself and let me walk through. But NOOO...now, I have to go back to the x-ray line, put that belt in a new storage basin, then go back to the metal detector line and walk through again.
Why is it that cities where actual terrorism has happened (London, New York) are faster and more efficient about everything? You'd think they'd be the super-paranoid ones.
At JFK airport, numerous drivers will enter the baggage reclaim area and try to scam you. Like the one guy who told me he was the man assigned to meet me.
Him: Do you need a ride?
Me: No thanks, I have a car waiting.
Him: That's me. Where are you going?
Me: Stamford. They sent you to pick me up?
Him: Yes.
Me: You're the driver?
Him: Yes.
Me: What's my name?
pause
Him (in Forrest Whitaker, "Last King of Scotland" voice) Stamford! Ha ha ha ha!
At this point, he knew his BS had been called. I finally did find the right guy, who had oddly been sent to the departure lounge rather than arrivals. When I got to Stamford, it was very, very late. Holiday Inn restaurant and bar were long since closed. My dinner was a bag of Lays ruffles and a diet coke.
I didn't sleep much. Maybe 4 hours. In the morning, I had an energy drink and some breath mints. Seemed advisable. Most of the new breed of energy drinks actually work pretty good on little sleep.
I was told to get to WWE HQ by 11: 15. Holiday Inn staff told me to take the shuttle at 10:30. I did. At 10:35, I was at HQ, way too early.
But it was cold outside, so I chilled in the lobby for half an hour. During this time, I saw both Stephanie and Linda McMahon go up in the elevator (wife and daughter of the boss, for those who don't know). Steph even ran into Pat Patterson (former IC champ), and they discussed the recent injury to Steph's husband Paul (aka Triple H). Sounds like he's doing well, but severely incapacitated at the moment.
Finally, hiring guy Jon comes down and takes me upstairs. He shows me around -- various display cases hold such things as the original boots of Andre the Giant, and metal sculptures that appear to be full-body realscans of the torsos of Kane (masked) and RVD. One of the cases is empty -- I'm told it recently held a certain Olympic singlet, but that it mysteriously vanished (wrestling fans will get this reference -- would take too long to explain to anyone else).
Jon talks to me a while, then we got to the cafeteria to get me some food. While there, we encounter legendary ring announcer Howard Finkel, who is apparently leader of the staff softball team. He speaks quite normally in person.
I then go into a conference room, where shelves are filled with teddy bears patterned on the likes of Undertaker, Big Show, Randy Orton, and more. I interview first with their human-resources director. One thing notable here is that I tell her I love acting the most, but that I realize, objectively, that I'm an average actor but an above-average writer, so I've pursued writing. She drops that that says a lot about me.
Then I meet with two of the WWE head writers. Raw's head writer is a short guy named Brian Gewirtz, who looks younger than me. Smackdown's head writer is veteran wrestling star Michael "P.S." Hayes, of the Fabulous Freebirds. Hayes quizzes me on what angles are my favorite now, and of all time. Gewirtz doesn't ask as much, but I ask him a lot about his background -- he was a Hollywood sitcom writer until he got the call to replace Vince Russo in 1999, and has loved it since, but in the last 8 years, he's seen 60 writers drop out. Everyone stresses how the job is 24-7 and you need a thick skin, plus will probably be hazed something fierce.
Hayes practically blushes when I tell him I used to own his music album on cassette. I don't mention I got his new action figure for Xmas.
And then it's over. Jon quizzes me about the whole process -- he's in hiring, and doesn't know how the writing side works so much, and seems curious what I learned. He reminds me that if I don't get the job, it says a lot that I made it this far. I totally agree. I'll remember this even though nothing came of it in the end. Jon was an awesome dude, and everyone at the company seems to enjoy their job a lot. Not to mention that everybody seemed absolutely unpretentious.
As it turns out, it was primarily my lack of previous experience on TV shows that seems to have made the difference.
Posted by LYT at 5:34 PM | Comments (1)
January 26, 2007
E! Online review
The format for these is changing slightly...for the better, I think.
Here's Epic Movie.
Posted by LYT at 5:59 PM | Comments (4)
January 25, 2007
The News
I will not be moving to Connecticut. Not this year, anyway.
As some have deduced, I was flown out to Stamford last week by World Wrestling Entertainment to interview for a TV writer position. They put me up, fed me, and interviewed me several times.
I was one of about 20 finalists. As of today, I got the call, that I didn't make the final cut.
It was nonetheless a very cool experience. More later, but I thought everyone would want to know the bottom line first.
Posted by LYT at 11:33 AM | Comments (15)
Bears are strong
See what happened when one stepped into a pro-wrestling ring. The ultra-serious commentary by Gordon Solie is hilarious.
Posted by LYT at 1:43 AM | Comments (6)
SMOKIN' ACES quick review
Decent idea; too much talkin'
Posted by LYT at 1:27 AM | Comments (0)
January 24, 2007
Even I know better
Guys, probably not a good idea to get your lady THIS for Valentine's Day.
Posted by LYT at 7:36 PM | Comments (3)
"You want booze with that?"
I normally hate the way service personnel are forced to try to hard-sell you on the upsizing. Can't buy a damn small Coke at the movies without "You want a medium for only 40 cents more? You want some fresh hot popcorn with that? You want candy with that?" I don't yell at them because I know they have to do it or get fired.
One of my favorite Beavis & Butt-head episodes is the one where Butt-head goes to annoy Beavis at work by ordering stuff that isn't on the menu. Reflexively, Beavis asks if he wants fries with that. Butt-head responds in the way we all wish we could.
"Uhhh, did I ask for fries? Dumb ass."
But airport bars have a variation on the theme that I like quite a bit. As experienced most recently in the American Airlines terminal of New York/JFK.
"I'd like a beer."
"Would you like a large for just a dollar more?"
"Why yes, I certainly would."
"Would you like a side shot for just $2 more?"
"What are the shots?"
"Anything we have."
"Even scotch?"
"Yes"
"Then I'll have a shot of Johnnie Walker Black Label for $2 more, sure."
Later, it turns out that this bar actually charges less for Maker's Mark than they do for Jack Daniel's (for those who don't drink whiskey -- this is like charging less for Coca-Cola than for Diet Rite. JFK travelers, take note).
I'm a peaceful drinker, so I get why these booze specials work in my case. But is this really a good idea for all the belligerent drunks of the world, about to get on planes?
Maybe it's precautionary. After all, Islamic terrorists don't drink. We need a few good boozers on the front lines.
Posted by LYT at 2:01 AM | Comments (4)
January 23, 2007
ROMAN to DVD in March?
That's what Fangoria says, and they have a picture of the cover.
I'm slightly skeptical of any date being locked down, though (remember all the reports of the extras and commentaries that were supposed to be on THE WOODS?). Last I heard, it was not finished. But if the DVD really does have "deleted scenes," you could see me on there.
In other Fango news, the new issue that comes out today supposedly has a DVD feature on Mad Cowgirl. And Paul Hough's short film "The Angel," which I worked on and may have a story credit on, will be playing at their upcoming convention.
Posted by LYT at 5:36 PM | Comments (3)
More than meets the...foot!
Just Transform It!
Posted by LYT at 4:30 PM | Comments (2)
Nancy Ragin'
Some of you read that letter in the Weekly a while back all pissed off at me for using the phrase "nancy-boy."
Tonight, I asked my friend Dave, who's gay, if he thought I was a bigot for using it.
"How did you use it?" he asked.
"I was talking about the lead actor in ERAGON" I said.
"Well, he is," said Dave.
Posted by LYT at 4:10 AM | Comments (5)
1982 - Madonna's first live performance
via Fishbowl LA, a time-warp...
Watch the whole clip at No Entiendes.
Posted by LYT at 3:53 AM | Comments (2)
Oscar Noms talkback
By the time I wake up, they'll be announced.
So -- did the movies you like get what they deserved? What was the biggest example of Academy crack-smoking? Do you even care anyway?
I don't much. But since I haven't posted in a while, let's have at it.
Posted by LYT at 12:55 AM | Comments (18)
January 19, 2007
My first favorite wrestler has died
Bam Bam Bigelow, of the flaming attire and tattooed skull years before tattoos were cool, has died.
Posted by LYT at 4:04 PM | Comments (4)
If anyone still cares about STOMP THE YARD
I did a late review for CityBeat HERE
Posted by LYT at 3:55 PM | Comments (3)
A little sightseeing...
Posted by LYT at 3:08 PM | Comments (6)
January 17, 2007
Grandfather Q&A: Part Three
Julie Scott writes:
I was interested in a getting a second opinion from a minister on the subject of how far is too far in terms of sexual morality and marriage. I've found myself greatly at odds with American Christian publications who greatly encourage Christians (especially women) to dress conservatively, to run away screaming for pornography, and to not engage in any acts which are seen as outside of the mainstream. But I enjoy dressing in such a way that shows off the body that God gave me, watching/reading erotic movies/pictures/literature, and have some unusual sexual "needs", including a fairly recent confession that I find other women attractive. David says that as long as we are open and honest with each other as a couple and there is no cheating going on, that I shouldn't feel ashamed of my behavior, but it would be nice to get a second opinion on the subject.
For Julie Scott,
I am a little uncertain about some of your meanings but on the assumption that David is your partner, I would say: "Congratulations; you have a good man there." Going more deeply into your feelings and behaviour, I would say that variations in sexual expression are both common and widely and wrongly condemned - especially by the kind of right wing fundamentalist Christians who seem set on condemning anyone and anything that doesn't fit with their own narrow outlook.
If you can get hold of it there is a wonderful but probably now out of print book called "Embodiment" by James B.Nelson, published in 1978 by Augsburg Publishing House, I.S.B.N. 0-8066-1701-2. It should have been a best seller and is by far the best book on sexuality from a Christian theological perspective. This book contains a chapter on the morality of Sexual Variations, which covers thoroughly all the points you raise and would, I think, be very re-assuring. If you have a problem getting hold of this book it might be worth trying the publishers, whose address is (or was) Augsburg Publishing House, 426 South Fifth Street, Minneapolis, Minnesota 55415.
--Peter Graham.
[Editor's Note: Not out of print; It's available on Amazon]
Posted by LYT at 9:38 AM | Comments (7)
January 16, 2007
Big day tomorrow
Headed out of town on a brief secret mission that could potentially change my life.
Be back very soon. And no, I won't have time to stop in and visit with anybody.
[Note: If you know what the mission is, please don't blab it here. Just wish me luck.]
Posted by LYT at 7:36 PM | Comments (14)
What a wicker game to play
So, I'm probably the only guy on the planet who actually likes the WICKER MAN remake better than the original. I can live with that.
Only just caught the new version on dvd, with "SHOCKING alternate ending." A big lie, that. In fact, the unrated version with alleged alternate ending simply cuts off two minutes before the theatrical version, thereby eliminating the "six months later" coda scene, which was fine.
To be clear -- I don't think either WICKER MAN is a great work of cinema. I just think the newer version sucks less.
For years, I had heard about the original. The title is evocative, and I knew Christopher Lee was involved, so I figured it had to be something classic. Then, a couple years ago, I finally saw it. Herewith, an approximation of my thought process while viewing:
"Okay, this seems kinda creepy...hero's a badass...oooh, creepy island...unsettling, yeah...uhhh, wait, hold on a moment...Is this a fucking musical? What the hell is this hippie-dippy crap?"
Now, this may come as a shocker, since I know I have a certain reputation, but despite the fact that the original has nudity and the new one doesn't, the original does not automatically win my heart. If you want to entice me with hot naked chicks, don't use the Ludovico Technique by making me associate hooters with horrible, horrible music.
Oh, and Christopher Lee in a kilt? You take one of the scariest guys in the world, and make sure to give him the unscariest outfit you can think of?
Anyway, I know lots of people love it, and I can see why in some sense -- it's weird and unlike anything else. But it isn't scary, and how it's regarded as classic horror, I do not know.
The remake isn't really scary either, because Neil LaBute simply isn't a horror director. Women scare him, and he thinks we share that fear, so he creates a matriarchal society where they all love bees, and expects that to be inherently terrifying. It isn't. I know several guys who love the idea of being used as breeding stock and silent slave labor, and not much else. (They might not admit it, but they do.)
No, the reason to dig the remake is the same reason to love INCUBUS or THE ARRIVAL -- it features an over-the-top leading man utilizing every single tic in his arsenal that has ever been impersonated by a comedian, and doing so seemingly with gleeful abandon and blissful unawareness that it's happening. Just as Shatner went heavy on the hand gestures and pauses, or Charlie Sheen relied strictly on two facial expressions and that dry monotone, so does Nicolas Cage use every mannerism you've mocked him for here. The bug-eyed freakout, the slow enunciation to indicate that he's serious, the mood-swing temper-tantrum, the stoned drawl...they're all here. And they're glorious. It's funny that everyone seems to pick on the part where he's in a bear-suit, because it's relatively minor in the scheme of things, and certainly not as absurd as the teddy-bear costume scene in THE AVENGERS. Cage himself can be inherently more absurdist than any bear suit.
Pretty funny, too, that Edward Woodward starred in the original, and in this new one, NIc Cage's character is named "Edward," and Kate Beahan's character has the surname "Woodward." Brilliantly subtle, not.
I could do without the awful cheapness of the black-and-white flashback effect -- just use color, and go for the cheap scare, Neil, you know you want to! -- and the surreal opening sequence never really seems to pay off in the way that it should. I also should note, probably much to the dismay of fetishists for the original flick, that I still think there is a superior film to be made from the concept of "cop lured to mysterious island searching for missing girl, faked out into becoming ritual sacrifice." Put Douglas Dunning in a kilt, and I will be terrified.
In the meantime, the Nic Cage version will do. And Leelee Sobieski is growing up hot, just like I knew she would.
Posted by LYT at 2:16 AM | Comments (12)
Gahhh! Fuckin' weather!
I know some of y'all reading from afar don't believe me when I say it's cold here in Los Angeles.
But it is. There has been FROST here. And this only two days after it was 80 degree t-shirt weather.
Now, some of you will say, "Ah, big deal, frost. We got snow." But dwellings out here are not built to handle cold. They're built to let it in as much as possible, and not change in temperature until days after the weather has changed. It's not quite as awful as the summer heatwave, because you can ameliorate the effects, like by walking around the house in winter coats.
But it still sucks. And drastic temperature changes in short periods of time are not good for anybody's health.
Posted by LYT at 12:08 AM | Comments (6)
January 14, 2007
More of movie Venom revealed
...via a Japanese 12" action figure of him.
Pics here. I'm not as thrilled by the toy, but based on the brief seconds of footage I think he'll look good onscreen.
Posted by LYT at 4:20 PM | Comments (0)
January 13, 2007
I think I need to "de-frag" my hard drive
Can someone who knows what that means please post step-by-step instructions in comments below? It would be a huge help.
Posted by LYT at 5:48 PM | Comments (13)
Grandfather Q&A: Part Two
LYT asks: "In light of the frequent critiques on these shores by Christians of popular culture, do you think a movie is inherently improved if the "good guys" in it display traditional Christian values?"
Your own question is, I think, ambiguous. It hinges on the question:"What are these traditional Christian values?" It is also a matter of debate as to what makes a "good" movie and hence what is meant by improving it. In my own book those Christian values which I think of as traditional are very largely the same as those of any rational humanist culture. I think a movie can be very enjoyable and yet show little concern for moral values. I also think it's boring if the good guys always win There are of course issues such as those concerned with our expression of our sexuality, where the views of Christians (and humanists) have changed/matured over the centuries. The shocking notion that "if it's in the Bible it must be right" is rejected by nearly every theologian I've read but is accepted by a fairly large, frightened and vocal collection of literalists.
The one sort of movie I heartily dislike on moral grounds is that which is slanted so as to glorify violence and/or physical strength divorced from morality. Contrary to much Christian opinion, I have no wish to see Mel Gibson's Passion of the Christ, which seems to me from the bits I've seen, to be sado-masochistic.
Les asks: "I would be interested in hearing if his thinking about who or what God is has changed over the years."
Les. The answer is a definite affirmative. When I was a small boy, praying at my bedside, as my mother taught me, I would identify God with a particular pattern in the wall paper opposite me. I also identified my own priest - father with Jesus Christ when he was wearing his Eucharistic vestments in church. Still at quite an early age - about six years old - I had my first truly mystical experience when the world around me changed in an instant for me from seeming to be like a black and white movie to glorious technicolour, coupled with a sense of delicious warmth and the certainty that I was deeply loved by what I felt I must call "God". I ceased forthwith to have any pictorial concept of God. Later I learned to see Jesus as a man transparent to God, so that in a sense I could once more have a sort of picture, which was as close to the truth as I thought possible. This exact definition of Jesus I owed to Robert Runcie, then Bishop of St Albans and subsequently Archbishop of Canterbury. Additionally I remember that I had periods during my early teen-age years when I thought of God as my stern judge but for most of my life ever since I've remained firmly convinced of the all-encompassing love, compassion, forgiveness and understanding which were hallmarks in the earthly life of Jesus and therefore of God, who wants everyone to be "saved" that is to be brought to perfection and to live eternally with him.
David N. Scott asks: "What prompted you to become a reverend? Is it something you still feel?"
David N Scott. The short answer is "God". Until I was in my mid-twenties I would swear black and blue that whatever I did in life I would never be a bloody parson/priest/vicar/minister/clergyman. I'd seen far too much of them in my childhood home. Although some of them were lovely men a lot were boring, pompous and very unlike Jesus. In spite of that I had two super examples, my father and a man who became my mentor and later godfather to my oldest son. (And that was long before I gave in to my vocation from God.) Lots of people told me that I ought to pack in school teaching and "go into the Church". I always resisted this stuff partly because I was already in the Church, an active lay member, who was quite capable of doing what God wanted me to do without turning my collar round; but then in the end without hearing a voice from heaven or anything so dramatic I began to feel that yes, I was being called to the ordained ministry and I must go to my bishop and talk about it. After that there was really no turning back.
As for how I still feel: I am absolutely certain the decision was made in heaven - absolutely and undoubtedly right. I've enjoyed a wonderfully fulfilling life and have made hundreds if not thousands of friends through my ministry. The tough bit has always been the tension between my Church calling and my family. I know I have often got my priorities wrong, particularly as I remember that I was married and a parent of two children before I heard the call to ministry. Fortunately I have a wonderful wife who has always supported and helped me in my work and has forgiven me again and again for my various acts of neglect of her and our four children.
-Peter Graham
Posted by LYT at 2:58 PM | Comments (2)
January 12, 2007
E! Online quickie
Primeval, emphasis on the "eval."
Posted by LYT at 2:08 PM | Comments (0)
Grandfather Q&A: Part One
Edwin A. Santos asks:
"What are your thoughts about the UK's involvement in Iraq? What are your thoughts of achieving success in our war against terrorism and is their a resolution to this in the near future? And, what is your opinion of Prime Minister Tony Blair?"
Dealing with the easy one first:
When the Iraq invasion began I was still in active ministry. When it became clear that our P.M. was planning to go to war hanging onto Bush's coattails, I preached a violent sermon saying that to do so was plain contrary to the traditional Christian doctrine of the just war, to go to war on the basis that some quite insignificant country (from the military capability point of view) could be a threat to us was utterly wrong and I ended by shouting: "For God's and the world's sake stop it and draw back before you commit us to this evil thing". That's not an exact quote but more or less what I did then.
I think the whole idea of a war against terror is complete nonsense and the chances of winning it are nil. In the end what happens is terror is fought with terror and the "goodies" become as bad as the "baddies". This was clearly demonstrated not so very long ago in Vietnam.
Tony Blair was a good leader who did lots of good things for his party and for the U.K. but his long period in office steadily increasing his own power has done the usual sad thing: it has corrupted him. He is now blindly sticking to the notion that because he feels something is right he must act accordingly no matter what anyone else thinks. He truly seems to believe that history will judge him kindly over what he has done over Iraq.
More later. I have to stop for now.
Love,
Peter
[Technical notes: If there is any kind of point-counterpoint discussion in comments, I may forward the remarks along, and cut-and-paste my grandfather's responses in the comment fields. I mention this to pre-empt charges by IP trackers of so-called "sock puppetry" -- he's not used to how blogs work, so inputting the answers he sends me by email seems best -- LYT]
Posted by LYT at 1:45 PM | Comments (6)
January 11, 2007
DOG-gy Style
The opening credits of ALPHA DOG couldn’t be more calculated to annoy the piss out of me if the film-makers had read my mind. I’ve complained before about films that open with faux home movie footage that purports to show our world-weary protagonist back when he or she was just a sweet, innocent child, but what makes it doubly grating is that in this instance, such footage is underscored with “Somewhere Over the Rainbow,” and they’ve found a cover version that’s even more lugubrious and syrupy than the original. And after all that, and seeing the whole movie, I still have no clue exactly which character we’re watching the young version of in the crappy home movie footage. At least it’s not shot on fake super 8.
But I forgive Nick Cassavetes and company, because I enjoyed the rest of what transpired. Imagine a Larry Clark movie minus the constant alarmism, given a decent script and competent actors. I know, it’s tough. But the shorthand version is lots of young attractive people drinking forties, smoking joints, saying “fuck” a lot, and fucking a fair bit. Plus there’s a plot. And the movie makes fun of their dumb-ass-ness without being all, “These Are The Youth Of Today -- BE AFRAID!!!!” What it does is identify, with on-screen titles, every single peripheral character who will later be called as a witness, thereby indicating just how reckless and stupid these delinquents are in their planning.
Mostly, I should point out before going any further, ALPHA DOG contains one of the most boneriffic scenes I’ve had the pleasure of witnessing in a long time, and no, Justin Timberlake isn’t involved. A 15-year-old kid who has been kidnapped encounters two slightly older girls at a party who think it’s totally hot that he’s being held for ransom, and they proceed outside to the pool, where a game of naked Marco Polo turns into a threesome. It’s way too much of a male fantasy to be exactly what happened in the true story the movie’s kinda-sorta based on, but regardless, ‘tis a thing of beauty. Even though it fades out too soon. Oh, and one of the girls in question is that one ditzy character from MEAN GIRLS who isn’t Rachel McAdams.
Here's a taste...
The Alpha Dog in this picture is Johnny Truelove (Emile Hirsch), son of a legitimate gangster (Bruce Willis), who deals large amounts of drugs, and generally acts like a character in a gangsta rap video, arrogantly pushing people around and physically assaulting those who don’t come through for him. One of those is a speed-freak self-loathing Jew who sports tattoos of both Hebrew characters and Nazi symbols, a dude named Jake Mazursky (Ben Foster), who, in the movie’s second-best scene, gets fired from his job when he fails to convincingly act sober.
Jake doesn’t have all of Johnny’s money. Johnny beats Jake up from behind. Jake fights back. So now...It’s on! Jake trashes Johnny’s house and shits on the carpet. Johnny kidnaps Jake’s brother, Zack (Anton Yelchin). Thing is that Zack, who hates his all-American home life, enjoys being kidnapped and living the thug life he’s always imagined that his big bro enjoyed.
Johnny is supposedly based on a real-life guy named Jesse James Hollywood, and he’s the title character, but we never really get inside his head. He’s a background player in his own story; the real heart of the movie is the relationship between the kidnapped Zack, and Johnny’s henchman Frankie (Justin Timberlake), who befriends the kid, but ultimately must arrange his demise.
Any time the movie strays from the dynamic between Zack and Frankie, or Frankie and fellow subordinate Elvis (Shawn Hatosy), it feels adrift...extended scenes with Bruce Willis and Harry Dean Stanton provide laughs, but feel obligatory to justify the star presence. Sharon Stone, as Mom Mazursky, also gets some extended screen time, but it feels less like a star obligation, and more like Cassavetes trying to recreate his real-life mom, Gena Rowlands, onscreen in a younger form. Stone steps up to the acting challenge, but it still comes off as a digression; she hasn’t been developed enough for her big emotional breakdown to be as meaningful as it should.
One odd stylistic quirk is the way Cassavetes uses a technique that isn’t exactly split-screen, but sometimes he’ll just black out a fraction of the screen for no apparent reason, occasionally to later fill it with an alternately angled image, but mostly just for no obvious point. It’s a distancing thing, but it isn’t clear that he intended it to add artifice to the proceedings and take us out of the story. Later, he uses a dolly-camera trick to great effect -- he should focus on stuff like that and not on arbitrary masking.
The best thing about ALPHA DOG, though, is its casualness. With all the drinking, fucking, smoking, et al...it felt real. Never, at any point, did I wonder if an actress had contractually negotiated how much skin she was going to show, or at what angle. It isn’t necessarily a nekkid chick free-for-all, but when nudity would be realistic, it’s there. And it’s hot. I’m surprised there were no ratings issues, though I know there were some legal ones, which is why you’re finally seeing this movie over a year late and released by Universal, rather than New Line.
Posted by LYT at 12:09 AM | Comments (4)
CityBeat review
of Fox Faith's inaugural release THR3E
Posted by LYT at 12:05 AM | Comments (0)
January 10, 2007
Controversy!
I actually did a real news story this week, and it's stirring up some trouble. Let me know what you think.
In recent days, the so-called Mooring Room, a popular meeting spot for the Jonathan Yacht Club at the downtown facility, was shuttered amid a nasty exchange over whether male members used the nautically decorated lounge to have sex with girls they met over the Internet. In e-mails sent to many of the club’s roughly 3,600 members and obtained by the L.A. Weekly, it appears the charges originated with Grant W. Ivey, longtime “commodore” of the Jonathan Yacht Club, a subclub described in a Palisadian-Post article last summer as “the only yacht club in the world... where no one owns a boat.”
The whole story, plus a download of the evidence, is HERE
Posted by LYT at 9:08 PM | Comments (7)
My Grandfather, Your Questions
You've been reading his columns on here every month. Now, with his consent, we're going to have some interaction.
You've read his opinions on many issues, but perhaps wondered about others. Now's your chance to ask.
In comments below, submit your questions for him. They can be on moral/theological issues, his personal beliefs about God, experiences in World War II, global politics, etc. I will forward the best ones to him, and print his answers in a future thread. Do not act like an a-hole with your question -- he's fine with disagreement, but I'm not fine with him being disrespected.
And bear in mind if you ask a political question, he may not be as familiar with U.S. political figures, since he lives in England.
Posted by LYT at 2:06 PM | Comments (14)
Got room?
My pal Tony Young is looking for very temporary lodging. He writes:
Please let me know if you or anyone you know has a room (or couch) to share.I'm basically looking for a place to sleep and shower. I'm usually busy at work, so I will not be too much of
a bother.
email me if you know of anything like that.
Posted by LYT at 12:05 AM | Comments (0)
January 9, 2007
Soundtracks-a-go-go!
Congrats go out to a couple of homies.
DEUXO, featuring Jaye Luckett, will have a song featured on an upcoming episode of the new Courteney Cox show "Dirt"...
and
THE DISTANTS, fronted by Matt King's sister Guinevere, have a song on the soundtrack of the upcoming Agnes Bruckner horror flick BLOOD AND CHOCOLATE.
The year's starting off pretty good for some. Hope the karma spreads.
Posted by LYT at 9:38 PM | Comments (3)
My Grandfather's Column
The Tax Burden?
"Nobody likes paying taxes, even to support a government of their own choosing." I've frequently heard this sort of statement and I want to oppose it with all the strength I can. I concede that there are even in the U.K. many people who are truly poor, sometimes through there own stupidity but by no means always. Even if you are only relatively poor it may be thought reasonable to do what you can to avoid paying taxes. However the majority of us are not poor. We live in a style undreamt of by our forebears and there are very few of us who are likely to suffer from hypothermia or malnutrition even after we've paid all the taxes we're supposed to pay.
Occasionally I feel ashamed of the relatively luxurious life I live: for when I look at what goes on in the third world, where starvation and homelessness abound, I can't help feeling there is a lot more that I should be doing about it. Even in our own country I'm aware of a great deal of misery which could be alleviated if the government could spend more money on the relief of poverty. Some say the present government has done a great deal in this direction; which may be true. The fact remains that the gap between rich and poor has grown wider and is still growing. In the face of these facts it is clearly right for most of us to be doing what we easily can do to improve the situation. The obvious first move then is to pay our taxes gladly.
We who are wealthy have the privilege of helping pretty painlessly those who most need help. We are most of us too inherently selfish to be able to just produce the money that might even things out between rich and poor. We can note what any political party plans to do with "our" money and vote that party in or out of office. I fear that most politicians will pander to our more selfish instincts and try to get hold of the necessary money by stealth rather than by the most obviously open and fair way, which is income tax.so arranged as to take most from those who can most easily spare it.
For Christians who believe in the fatherhood of God, all human beings are our brothers or sisters. A good humanist would pretty well share this viewpoint. It follows that we should wish the government would get us back to really generous support for the world's poor. Once long ago the target for the wealthy nations was 1% of Gross National Product to go to the relief of world poverty. That has now slipped to 0.7% of GNP and we don't achieve even that. What we need is greater not less taxation provided of course that those to whom we pay our taxes use it wisely and justly.
--Peter Graham
Posted by LYT at 1:45 AM | Comments (3)
January 8, 2007
Belated holiday cheer
Some awesome Christmas carol work from Billy Idol...
and Twisted Sister...
What would Tipper Gore think?
Posted by LYT at 1:34 AM | Comments (5)
January 5, 2007
The Greatest DVD Of All Time?
Available -- where else? -- at WilliamShatner.com
Posted by LYT at 10:09 PM | Comments (4)
LINTON SEMAGE on dvd
I know that many of you who've seen MAD COWGIRL and/or met Linton at the Silver Lake Fest have been asking about his Sri Lankan movies. Well...
One of them, OUTCAST, is available now.
The other, PICKPOCKET, is coming out next month.
Both feature a slightly "lost in translation" interview between me and him, plus a translator whose interpretations may not always have been 100%.
I'm hoping to score some copies to give away. More on that if I get them.
Posted by LYT at 4:35 PM | Comments (0)
Codename: The Cleaner, times two
Reviews at LA Weekly and E! Online. More Cedric than you'll ever need.
Posted by LYT at 11:31 AM | Comments (2)
January 4, 2007
E! Online quickie
can ya guess what I thought?
Posted by LYT at 8:13 PM | Comments (0)
Lindsay Lohan has appendicitis
Best wishes for a speedier recovery than mine. I certainly wouldn't have been up for any pole dancing afterward.
Posted by LYT at 6:38 PM | Comments (4)
I got a curiosity
Surely among my readers are some people who employ others and/or conduct job interviews, so I have to ask this question, because I can't ever figure out the correct answer myself.
When you ask "Where do you see yourself in ten years?", what kind of answer are you hoping for?
I can't imagine that, say, a McDonalds manager asking that question honestly expects to hear an answer like "still being the best McDonalds employee I can be!"
Posted by LYT at 5:03 PM | Comments (9)
January 3, 2007
Blaargh. Sick again.
Warning: there may be more detail than you want in this post.
How is it I survive Kip's cold house, then the instant I get back from my new year's party in los angeles at which I drank more moderately than I ever do at parties, I get knocked flat the next day by a delirium inducing cold?
I don't know. But so far it doesn't seem to be the same nasty voice-depriving sumbitch I had before. It just makes me even less motivated than normal to organize my shit, which isn't good.
Here's the weird (and moderately gross) thing, though. At my normal level of health, I don't breathe easily. My nasal passages feel narrow, and stuff hardens inside. With this cold, the sinuses fill up with thicker fluid, but in the intervals between blowing it out and them refilling, I breathe better and more clearly than I normally do.
I just had to share that observation.
Posted by LYT at 12:29 AM | Comments (6)
January 2, 2007
Meanwhile, in toy news...
(and Paul Winfield!)
Posted by LYT at 11:12 PM | Comments (0)
Stupid, biased, non-fact-checking Em Ess Em
I couldn't believe my eyes at the cluelessness displayed on the editorial page of today's LA Times:
But this is about compromise and negotiation, life skills in the making; Jack in the Box will make her happy for 10 minutes. She'll push up her sleeves for those chicken nuggets — and I'll peel her a carrot when we get home.
Jack in the Box don't make chicken nuggets. They make chicken strips...STUPID!
This is an example of how hopelessly out of touch elitist Big Reporters are, that they don't even know the basic facts about places where real hard-working, God-fearing, terrorist-hating Americans eat. It is also why individual vanity blogs will completely replace all newspapers one day. Or something like that.
Posted by LYT at 3:58 PM | Comments (7)
Mad about surround sound
I watched the MAD COWGIRL DVD at my uncle Kip's place a couple of days ago, on a big-screen HDTV with surround sound. It was a revelation.
The sound is INCREDIBLE, better than it ever was in theaters. Every line of dialogue is clear and distinct, and emanating from a different speaker than the sound effects. Voices come from all around, especially voices only heard in Therese's head. I hope everyone gets a chance to see it this way.
One bummer about Kip's place is that it's always cold, no matter the season. I'm going to try to remember to bring my space heater with me next time.
I also caught up on some movies I missed in theaters: IDLEWILD and the US remake of PULSE. I liked both. Funnily enough, though I'm not a big musical fan, I think IDLEWILD doesn't let fly it's musical flag quite as much as it ought -- a spontaneous, unmotivated dance sequence in the streets would have been fun. But the songs are hot and the story's just enough, especially with the little surreal animated touches. It wouldn't have been on my top ten, but I don't begrudge Salon critic Stephanie Zacharek for putting it on hers; if I were a fervid Outkast fan rather than a casual one, it might make all the difference.
As for PULSE -- I was never that enthused by the Japanese original, and think the remake does a better job of telling a coherent story. I could do without the nu-horror trend of shooting every single thing through blue or green filters, as I think it actually distances the viewer from the scares (the Japanese original had no such filters, but a relentless gray pallette that was much more genuinely moody). The original AMITYVILLE beats the hell out of the remake because it looks like something you could see in real life. With that said, when you watch PULSE on dvd in a darkened room, the occasional moments during which the screen suddenly goes to pitch-black are extremely effective, possibly more so than they'd be in a theater.
The remake does ignore some of the more potentially interesting aspects of the original, and there was room to do a better remake than this. But this nonetheless didn't deserve the hidden-from-critics bad rap it got. If you rent it, be sure to go to the deleted scenes -- the darker, alternate ending is superior to the studio one, though both are true to the original, mostly.
Posted by LYT at 1:47 AM | Comments (2)
January 1, 2007
All that is solid melts into air
Good riddance, 2006. Not the worst year of my life -- 2005 and its appendicitis is fairly undisputed when it comes to that -- but 2006 was not great. It's been a year of learning experiences, and one of realizing that everything ends. Most of us intuitively know this, but sometimes it can really be brought home.
I've never been much for tradition, but I've always envied those families that have the one family house where they've always lived, and everyone comes together for the holidays. My life's been too transient for that, but every time it seems like there might be a chance to start such a tradition anew, it only lasts a couple of years before someone has to move far away and sell the place.
On the other hand, maybe my somewhat reactive stance to determinedly stay living in the same place isn't helping. My current apartment is either hellishly hot or tomblike in its coldness, and nearly remedying this almost got me evicted. And I learned that if you're freelance and you're broke in this city, you get punished even more with extra taxes. If Robert Altman were still alive, he'd note the similarity to POPEYE.
At present, there is the possibility, however distant, of a big and drastic move. It's an intimidating step, and would be into a whole new world. But I'm ultimately less attached to any one place than most people my age, and if that's where life takes me, I'm down for the ride.
Whatever happens, I get the feeling that a year from now, I'll be in a very different place. For good or ill. Right now feels very similar to that period in 1999 before I got my first movie critic job.
Posted by LYT at 7:41 PM | Comments (11)